In this episode, Ash has a raw conversation with husband, father, and sober human Vim Verma as they discuss addiction, identity, and what happens when you finally stop running from yourself. Vim opens up about growing up in a mixed-race culture where drinking was normalised, emotions were rarely spoken about, and asking for help felt almost impossible.

Together, they unpack the quiet pressures of family expectations, the heavy emotional charge of the holiday season, and the stigma that keeps so many people suffering in silence. There are moments of grief, moments of clarity, and Vim’s classic humour, that remind us how human this journey really is.

Vim also shares how his recovery program, meditation, and spiritual practice became a turning point, helping him strip back the noise and reconnect with who he is beneath the coping mechanisms. This is a conversation about breaking cycles, choosing courage over comfort, and discovering that real healing starts on the inside.

If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, felt trapped by expectations, or wondered what life could look like if you truly listened to yourself, this episode will land.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery

01:34 Vim Verma's Journey to Sobriety

03:45 Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays

04:54 Cultural Influences on Drinking

07:24 The Impact of Family Dynamics

07:53 Getting to Know Vim: Daily Life and Fun

14:06 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story

16:20 The Progression of Alcoholism

19:05 Consequences of Drinking: Crashing and Bashing

28:18 The Turning Point: Seeking Help

31:44 Experiences in Early Recovery

38:47 Finding Hope in Recovery

41:54 Life After Sobriety: Changes and Growth

47:50 Navigating Life's Challenges in Recovery

51:23 The Role of Support in Recovery

59:46 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life

You can connect with Vim through his Instagram here. 

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this special episode, Ash is joined by her longtime friend Ash Murray. For years, both women battled addiction silently, only sharing the full depths of their stories with one another after coming into recovery. Today, Ash Murray is the Eating Disorder Lead and Therapist at The Wave Clinic in Malaysia, with her expertise grounded not just in study, but in lived experience.

Ash opens up about her personal journey through eating disorders and alcohol addiction, sharing what recovery has truly looked like beyond the surface. From the isolating depths of illness which nearly took her life, to the slow rebuilding of trust, self-worth, and connection, she reflects on the pivotal role that rehab, honesty, healing and self-care have played in finding lasting freedom.

Together, they explore the intersection of therapy and lived experience, how vulnerability and empathy can become powerful tools for healing both self and others. They unpack the mental health challenges that intensified during the COVID-19 pandemic, and the importance of ongoing support in maintaining balance and wellbeing.

Episode chapter:

00:00 Introduction to Ashley Murray's Journey

02:57 Life in Malaysia and Work at the Wave Clinic

05:46 Navigating COVID-19 in Treatment

08:21 The Impact of COVID-19 on Mental Health

11:08 A Photo that Represents Struggles

13:55 The Super Yacht Experience and Its Consequences

16:27 The Turning Point: Seeking Help

19:22 Life in Bali and the Struggle with Addiction

22:16 The Rock Bottom Moment

24:49 Desperation and the Path to Recovery

27:08 The Turning Point: Reaching Out for Help

31:53 Childhood Struggles: The Roots of Eating Disorders

44:03 Escaping Reality: The Need to Hide

48:25 Facing the Truth: A Journey of Self-Discovery

54:28 The Struggle of Surrendering Control

57:02 The Complexity of Eating Disorders

59:13 The Power of Intervention

01:00:41 Transformation Through Therapy

01:04:11 Building Trust in Recovery

01:06:15 The Importance of Honesty

01:08:57 Setting Boundaries for Recovery

01:13:03 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

Connect with Ash through:

https://thewaveclinic.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thewaveclinic/

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this episode, Ash sits down with husband, father, and business owner James Date to explore what life looks like after addiction—and how recovery has reshaped the way he moves through the world.

James shares how community, service, and genuine connection became the anchors of his sobriety, transforming what once felt like isolation into a life rich with meaning and purpose. He speaks openly about the power of vulnerability, the role of daily routines and prayer in keeping him grounded, and how embracing honesty has deepened his relationships at home and beyond.

Together, Ash and James confront the lingering stigma around addiction and discuss the strength it takes to ask for help. Through moments of reflection and gratitude, James reveals the quiet joy found in showing up authentically each day—a reminder that recovery isn’t just about living without substances, but about rediscovering who you are underneath it all.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to James Date and His Journey

02:54 The Importance of Connection and Community in Recovery

05:52 Daily Routines and Spiritual Practices

08:58 The Role of Surrender in Recovery

11:58 Compassion and Kindness in Daily Life

15:01 Finding Joy in Service and Helping Others

17:57 The Impact of Sponsorship in Recovery

21:03 The Struggles of Identifying as an Addict

24:03 Behind the Smile: A Photo Reflection

26:53 The Journey to Acknowledging Addiction

30:08 Understanding the Roots of Addiction

32:54 The Ongoing Journey of Recovery

36:18 Understanding Alcoholism and Addiction

38:30 Rock Bottom Moments

42:14 Finding the Right Rehab

49:34 The Journey of Outpatient Recovery

51:23 The Importance of Vulnerability

56:54 Reconnecting with Self and Family

01:02:25 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

Connect with James below:

Instagram: @slayingsober

Podcast: Slaying Sober - listen on Spotify 

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this solo episode, Ash challenges the myth that hustle creates happiness and asks a better question: what if the dream life is built through alignment and embodiment instead of force?

Through her own transformation from corporate burnout and addiction to sobriety, surrender and spacious success, she explores why achievement without fulfilment leaves us empty and how co-creating with life can deliver breakthroughs hustle never could.

She unpacks the Law of Least Effort, the power of nervous system safety, and the practical habits she’s using to set up 2026, including her word of the year and a new manifesto that prioritises alignment, presence, ease and self trust. If you’re tired of pushing, proving or performing, this episode shows you how to create more by doing less and build a life that feels good on the inside.

Follow and connect with Ash on:

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here.

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

After years of living with a debilitating condition, Rick Watson has learned what it truly means to face fear and find freedom on the other side. In this episode, the holistic coach and gestalt therapist in training opens up about the profound transformation that followed his diagnosis, the trauma of constant uncertainty, and the life-altering decision to undergo brain surgery.  

Rick shares how recovery from both the physical and emotional toll of his condition sparked a deeper journey toward authenticity and self-understanding. As he describes his transition into therapy, he unpacks the core principles of gestalt work: presence, honesty, and the courage to be seen as you are. The conversation explores how health challenges can reshape identity, relationships, and purpose and how taking full responsibility for our emotions becomes the key to freedom.  

Together, Ash and Rick reflect on themes of vulnerability, generational patterns, and the importance of truly listening to ourselves and others. They discuss burnout in helping professions, the meaning found in midlife transitions, and the art of mapping one’s inner world to reveal clarity and connection. 

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Rick Watson and His Journey

02:58 Living with Epilepsy: The Hidden Struggles

05:55 The Impact of Brain Surgery and Recovery

08:57 Life After Epilepsy: Embracing Freedom

11:54 Transitioning to Therapy: A New Path

15:02 Gestalt Therapy: Understanding the Modality

18:05 The Importance of Being Present

20:48 Personal Growth Through Therapy Retreats

23:58 Authenticity: The Journey to Being Yourself

32:01 The Power of Vulnerability in Men's Circles

35:56 Unpacking Core Wounds and Generational Patterns

39:48 Navigating Burnout and Protecting Energy

44:04 The Importance of Listening and Emotional Responsibility

49:00 Finding Meaning in Midlife Transitions

55:53 Mapping the Inner Self for Clarity

01:00:59 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

You can connect with Rick through:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rickwatson_/

Website: https://www.rickwatson.com.au/

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3r8QaWJYgB73pOF9b0Hi0t?si=76e4b44b93864ba0

To kick off the new year, Ash sits down with holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran for a soulful and grounded conversation about how to truly create a powerful year ahead.

Together, they explore the practice of letting go, not as something you think your way through, but as something you feel, embody, and live. They speak candidly about surrender, emotional release, and the subtle moments where growth asks you to slow down, soften, and trust yourself more deeply. Woven throughout is the importance of authenticity and the role of community in supporting real, lasting change.

As they reflect on the year that’s been and turn their attention toward what’s possible next, Ash and Laura invite you to reconsider what it means to thrive. Less hustle, more presence. Less force, more space. A year shaped by rest, reflection, and joy, rather than pressure or perfection.

The episode closes with an exciting announcement about The Embodied Woman, their upcoming retreat created for women who are ready to reconnect with their bodies, reclaim their worth, and step into the next chapter feeling grounded, supported, and deeply embodied.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 New Beginnings: Embracing 2026

01:38 Letting Go: The Journey of Self-Discovery

04:29 The Power of Surrender: Trusting the Process

09:54 Finding Strength Within: The Role of Emotional Release

14:30 The Simplicity of Self-Connection: Embracing Stillness

18:57 Redefining Success: From External Validation to Inner Peace

23:22 The Importance of Community: Navigating Transformation Together

26:26 Embracing Self-Worth and Authenticity

27:20 Breaking Free from Co-dependency

29:56 The Power of Presence and Self-Expression

31:21 Navigating Loneliness and Connection

35:30 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Embodiment

37:27 Setting Intentions for 2026

43:11 The Embodied Woman Retreat

49:39 Taking Action Towards Change

You can connect with Laura on her IG @hersuccessfulmind 

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In part two of this conversation, Gabby opens up about what happened after her first attempt at recovery, when alcohol crept back in and the old patterns she thought she’d left behind began to resurface in new, painful ways.

She speaks honestly about the experience of being a “dry drunk,” white-knuckling her way through sobriety without true emotional healing, and how that disconnection eventually led her back to party drugs and an inevitable rock bottom. Through raw reflection, Gabby unpacks the misconceptions she once held about addiction and sobriety, the fear that kept her stuck, and the moment she finally became willing to seek deeper help.

She explores the ongoing nature of recovery: the reality of relapse, the weight of unaddressed trauma, and the mental health struggles that don’t magically disappear when the substances do. Ash and Gabby talk about the power of community, the safety of honest relationships, and the courage it takes to let others in when shame is loud. At the heart of this episode is a message of hope, about the transformative role of gratitude, self-awareness, and self-care in building a life that is not just sober, but genuinely connected and worth staying for.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:00 First Round of Recovery: A Journey Begins

05:51 The Struggle with Alcohol and Denial

09:59 The Dry Drunk Experience

14:01 Revisiting Old Habits: The Return of Party Drugs

19:53 Rock Bottom: A Descent into Darkness

28:16 Facing Fear and Seeking Help

31:42 The Journey to Rehab

32:39 Discovering Community in Recovery

35:40 Relapse and Realizations

38:17 Understanding Rock Bottom

41:54 Navigating Mental Health in Recovery

45:49 Exploring CPTSD and Healing

51:53 Finding Balance in Recovery

57:24 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

Connect with Gabby: 

IG: @bellylaughsbrutalhonesty and @gabriellesiobhan 

Podcast: Belly Laughs and Brutal Honesty 

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Support Services

If this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling.

In this two-part episode, I sit down with my close friend Gabby Williamson to lift the lid on the reality of living life in recovery. In part one of this conversation we talk about how, in her mid thirties, Gabby had everything that was supposed to add up to a good life - an impressive marketing career, a busy social calendar, and a carefully curated image. Behind the scenes, though, she was unraveling, using substances to cope with unresolved pain, mounting pressure, and a growing sense of disconnection from herself.

Gabby shares the story of what happened when her life finally collided with the truth. She talks about hitting rock bottom and entering rehab at 39, and how that experience became the doorway to resilience, gratitude, and a completely new way of living. Her journey stretches back to childhood challenges, early substance use, and the impact of boarding school on her sense of identity, tracing how those early wounds shaped the choices she made in adulthood.

Ash and Gabby explore the realities of navigating concerts, parties, and dating in recovery, and what it means to show up to those spaces without the old crutches. Gabby reflects on past relationships, the societal expectations that kept her performing a role, and the ongoing work of embracing her authentic self. She also speaks about motherhood, the weight of her decisions, and the profound growth that comes with redefining love, intimacy, and connection through a sober lens.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Background

02:55 Life in Recovery and Daily Routines

05:53 Navigating Social Situations in Sobriety

08:58 Experiences at Concerts and Events

11:58 Reflections on Past Relationships and Self-Perception

15:06 The Impact of Substance Abuse on Life

18:12 The Role of Gratitude in Recovery

20:51 Hiding Behind a Smile: Personal Struggles

23:48 Childhood and Early Exposure to Substance Use

37:31 Childhood Trauma and Early Coping Mechanisms

40:31 The Impact of Boarding School on Identity

46:32 Escalation of Substance Use in Adolescence

51:29 Navigating Relationships and Emotional Connections

01:00:06 Reflections on Motherhood and Personal Choices

01:06:32 Dating in Recovery and Redefining Relationships

Connect with Gabby: 

IG: @bellylaughsbrutalhonesty and @gabriellesiobhan 

Podcast: Belly Laughs and Brutal Honesty 

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Support Services

If this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling.

Back by popular demand, this father daughter episode brings the conversation close to home, as Ash sits down with her dad, Rod, to explore what it truly means to grow, heal, and live with intention. Together, they reflect on how energy, consciousness, and the way we choose to see the world can shape the course of a life far more than circumstance ever could.

Together, Ash and Rod dive into the practices that have supported their own journeys, including gratitude and meditation, and how these tools have helped them navigate relationships, soften old patterns, and find a deeper sense of peace beneath ambition and material success. They speak honestly about the complexities of family dynamics, the tension between chasing more and being enough, and the ongoing work of aligning how you live with what really matters.

With the holiday season looming, their conversation turns to the emotional weight that Christmas can carry, especially for those in recovery or struggling behind the scenes. They share gentle, practical insights on protecting your energy, setting boundaries, and meeting yourself with compassion during a time that can feel anything but festive. At its heart, this episode is an invitation to slow down, look within, and choose kindness, to yourself and others, as a daily, deliberate practice.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to the Holistic Retreat

00:45 Exploring Personal Growth and Energy

03:19 The Power of Ho'oponopono and Forgiveness

06:17 Understanding Consciousness and Energy Frequencies

08:53 Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth

11:39 The Role of Gratitude in Healing

14:29 Reflections on Materialism and Happiness

18:03 Ambition vs. Inner Peace

21:53 The Importance of Self-Awareness

24:45 Christmas and Family Dynamics

27:25 Coping with Holiday Stress and Expectations

30:03 Navigating Sober Holidays

34:06 Finding Peace in Family Gatherings

36:42 The Shift from Materialism to Experiences

39:42 The Importance of Kindness and Connection

42:28 Final Thoughts and Non-Negotiables for Happiness

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In the heart of New York City, Abby Calabrese was living the dream on paper but the reality was she was quietly unravelling behind the scenes. Long days, late nights, and a culture steeped in drinking turned alcohol into her go-to coping mechanism, even as the cost to her wellbeing grew harder to ignore.

In this episode, Abby shares how walking away from alcohol became the catalyst for a complete identity shift and the creation of Alcohol Free Rebellion, a movement dedicated to helping others question the role alcohol plays in their lives. Ash and Abby dive into the awkwardness of social events without a drink in hand, the emotional honesty that sobriety demands, and how choosing not to numb out can radically transform relationships and self-worth.

Abby offers practical guidance for facing triggers, especially during the holidays, while staying anchored in intention, community, and self-compassion. She speaks to the power of mindfulness in strengthening intuition and making choices that truly align with who you are. At the heart of her story are the non-negotiables she now lives by: authenticity, emotional awareness, and unwavering self-care as the foundation of a full, meaningful, alcohol-free life.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Abby Calabrese and Her Journey

02:53 Navigating Life After Alcohol

05:45 The Challenge of Socializing Sober

08:29 Understanding Emotions and Feelings

11:34 Shifting Perspectives on Life

14:20 The Impact of Alcohol on Relationships

17:25 Hiding Behind a Smile: Abby's Photo Story

20:02 Recognizing Rock Bottoms and Justifications

22:48 The Roots of Abby's Drinking History

24:19 The Role of Alcohol in Socialization

29:29 Recognizing the Problem

32:21 The Turning Point

37:24 The Challenge of Sobriety

38:44 Shame and Stigma in Motherhood

43:59 Transforming Relationships in Sobriety

45:46 Embracing Authenticity in Relationships

47:22 Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays

49:16 Practical Tips for Alcohol-Free Celebrations

53:40 Listening to Your Intuition

56:50 Cultivating Mindfulness and Self-Awareness

01:02:36 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026

Tickets available here. 

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Growing up on the streets of London, Damo H learned at an early age how to outrun pain, but it always caught up. In this candid and moving episode, Damo traces his journey through childhood trauma, the shadow of addiction, and the relentless pursuit of healing.

He recounts how alcohol first became his refuge, how physical injury and prescription medication complicated his path, and how new beginnings in Australia brought a new set of challenges. The rock bottoms came again and again, each one forcing him to confront the reality of his disease.

Through service, community, and the support of a 12-step program, Damo found answers that went deeper than sobriety. He shares how recovery reshaped his family, revived his passion for photography, and gave him a sense of purpose. With honesty and hope, Damo reveals what it means to rebuild life from the ground up, and how after years of struggle, he’s learning to embrace happiness, gratitude, and authentic connection.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Letting Go Ritual

00:51 Meet Damo H: A Journey Begins

02:57 Daily Life and Recovery Practices

05:59 The Role of Service in Recovery

08:47 Childhood and Family Dynamics

12:01 The First Drink: A Turning Point

14:55 Growing Up in London: The Streets and Gangs

18:11 The Impact of Alcoholism on Relationships

20:50 Moving to Australia: New Beginnings

24:09 Career and Alcoholism: A Fragile Balance

27:08 Rehab and the Road to Sobriety

30:00 Family Tragedies and Resilience

32:04 Reflections on Sobriety and Happiness

36:24 The Slippery Slope of Addiction

39:54 The Return to Alcohol

46:11 Rock Bottoms and Revelations

50:40 A New Approach to Sobriety

01:01:30 Building a New Life in Sobriety

01:07:20 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life

Follow and connect with Ash on: 

⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss

Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com

Upcoming Workshops:

The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026

Tickets available here. 

A Return To You | One Day Retreat 

Sunday 22nd February, 2026

Tickets available here. 

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!

The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 

Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!