If the holidays bring up a lot for you, old roles, old emotions, or the pressure to keep everyone happy, you’re not alone.

Christmas has a way of activating the patterns and survival strategies that once helped you feel safe, pleasing, perfecting, over-functioning, or shutting down.

In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook shares how these patterns show up in her own life, why they resurface, and how you can gently find your way back to peace. You’ll learn:

• the 3 types of needs that get tangled inside
• why holiday dynamics awaken old wounds and responses
• a simple way to return to the place of peace at your center
• how to redefine “success” this holiday season

🎄This Christmas, gift a loved one (or yourself) Dr Alison’s latest book, The Best of You!

📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here 

📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email.

If you liked this episode, you’ll love: 

Episode 131: Navigating Holiday Emotions

Episode 135: Tackling Holiday People Pleasing

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.
• Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today!
• Give online therapy, brought to you by betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.
• Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years, visit StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU to save $10 on your order.
• Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU  at checkout for 55% off a new night guard plus a FREE foam gift that whitens your teeth and cleans your nightguard.

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If stress or discomfort sends you into overthinking, numbing, or trying to fix what you can’t control…

If certain habits feel automatic no matter how much you try to change them…

You’re not alone, and your brain is more trainable than you think.

In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with Dr. Jud Brewer—psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and New York Times best-selling author who specializes in habit change and mindfulness. 

They unpack why we get stuck in these loops and a simple practice to steady your soul.

Instead of relying on willpower or self-judgment, this conversation invites you to:

• Notice your inner patterns with kindness
• Differentiate discomfort from distress
• Understand the habit loops that drive anxiety, worry, or overthinking
• Apply the #1 tool to help you create real, lasting change
• Deepen your connection to God

This episode is a grounding companion for anyone navigating stress, emotional triggers, or the pull toward old coping strategies—especially in seasons that stir up more than we expect.

📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here 

📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email.

If you liked this episode, you’ll love: 

Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress and Anxiety

Episode 112: Navigating Anxiety

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.
• Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get up to 40% off.
• Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever found yourself wide awake at night replaying a conversation

If you spiral through guilt after setting even the gentlest boundary

If you carry everyone else’s emotions while losing sight of your own

You’re in good company.

In today’s episode, Dr. Alison shares personally about these moments in her own life and guides you through a real-time practice you can do right where you are.

It’s the most effective tool we’ve found to help when overwhelm rises, when you’re tempted to slip back into people-pleasing, or when conflict sends your nervous system into overdrive.

Instead of overthinking, overanalyzing, or pushing your feelings aside, this practice helps you:

• Notice what’s happening inside with kindness
• Connect with the part of you that’s working overtime to keep you safe
• Offer compassion to your own soul — the same compassion you extend so easily to others
• Invite God’s loving, steady presence into the places that feel tangled, tense, or afraid

📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here 

📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email.

If you liked this episode, you’ll love: 

Episode 75: Your Secret Weapon Against Stress and Anxiety

Episode 171: Why People Pleasing Actually Makes You Feel More Alone, and 3 Steps to Create Real Connection

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com
• Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU to save 20% off plus FREE shipping 
• Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU,  to receive 55% off  your order.
• Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. 
• Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.
• Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! 

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We spend so much energy trying to silence anxiety. But what if it isn’t an enemy to defeat—what if it’s a signal to understand?

This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Bethany Teachman, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Virginia and director of the PACT Lab, about what healthy anxiety looks like, why it’s actually useful, and how to stop letting it run your life. 

Dr. Teachman explains how to know when anxiety is becoming a problem and shares practical ways to calm anxious thoughts, build resilience, and approach your fears with curiosity instead of control. She says,

“Anxiety is uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous, when you stop treating it like a threat, it loses its power over you.”

You'll learn:

• The difference between healthy anxiety and unhealthy anxiety
• How to recognize when your threat response doesn’t match the situation
• Why trying to “get rid” of anxiety often makes it worse
• How reframing challenges as opportunities builds resilience
• Why doom-scrolling keeps us trapped in fear

Check out more free resources on anxiety:

TYDE (Thriving Youth in a Digital Environment) — A University of Virginia initiative co-directed by Dr. Teachman focused on youth, technology, and mental health.

MindTrails — A suite of digital and mobile interventions designed to help people manage anxiety and increase access to care, including. 

If you liked this episode, you’ll love: 

Episode 129: Understanding Your Anxiety

Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away?

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.
• Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU to save 20% off plus FREE shipping 

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It can happen so fast - you feel grateful one moment, and five minutes on Instagram later you’re suddenly feeling small or behind. But what if comparison isn’t the problem itself, but a messenger?

Dr. Alison explores how comparison, when we pause to listen, can actually reveal our deepest longings and lead us back to connection with God, with others, and with ourselves. She explains why comparison is wired into us, what it’s trying to show us, and how to shift from competition to curiosity and compassion.

This conversation invites you to slow down, notice what stirs inside you when comparison shows up, and remember: your story is unfolding at its own sacred pace.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why comparison isn’t always toxic, and what it’s really telling you
• How to move from calibration to condemnation (and back again)
• The two types of comparison
• A simple three-step practice to use when you find yourself comparing

📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here 

📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email.

Other episodes you might like :

Episode 37: The Problem with Toxic Thinking

Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.
• Black Friday has come early at Cozy Earth! Use my code BESTOFYOU at cozyearth.com to get up to 40% off. 
• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.
• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When insecurity takes over, most of us double down on self-improvement. But what if freedom doesn’t come from focusing more on yourself - but less?

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison and author of Free of Me and Gazing at God, Sharon Hodde Miller, discuss the promises and pitfalls of self-esteem culture - and why a bigger story of belovedness, stewardship, and connection sets us free.  We talk about how self-preoccupation doesn’t improve self-esteem, why “just love yourself more” can reinforce the problem, and how beholding God (not abandoning yourself) recenters your life with humility and purpose.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why self-focus can erode your confidence and joy
• The difference between self-esteem and self-preoccupation
• What it means to de-center yourself without losing your worth
• How wounds can masquerade as pride or insecurity
• The freedom that comes from remembering: you are not the hero of the story
  

Get your hands on a copy of Sharon's books! You can find them here:

📚Free of Me: Why Life Is Better When It's Not about You

📚Gazing at God: A 40-Day Journey to Greater Freedom from Self

Here are some other episodes you might like :

Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken

Episode 67: The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing with Cindy Gao

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when relationships feels risky after you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or let down, yet you still crave real connection?

This week, Dr. Alison is joined by speaker, and author Toni Collier, for a powerful and honest conversation about healing through community and learning how to trust again after deep pain. 

Toni shares her story of betrayal and loss, and how she discovered the power of safe people - the kind who can hold your heart without judgment and help you rebuild when life falls apart. Together, they unpack what real friendship looks like and why isolation, while it feels safe, can slowly destroy us.

You’ll walk away with language for repair, courage to take off your “strong friend” cape, and practical wisdom for finding (and becoming) the kind of people who can walk with you through both heartbreak and healing.

This episode explores:

• Why healing requires safe people, not just safe spaces
• How to build a community that can hold your story
• The difference between isolation and refuge
• The courage it takes to say, “I need help”
• The three steps to finding and keeping trustworthy friends

You can find Toni’s powerful book here:

📚Don't Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain

Here are some other episodes you might like :

Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability

Episode 76: Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache 

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!

• Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.

• Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use the code BESTOFYOU  at checkout for 50% off.

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when someone you love - whether it’s your kids, a spouse, or a friend - keeps doing the same maddening things? 

This week, we’re tackling how to approach the most frustrating dynamics in any relationship. Dr. Alison is joined by award-winning psychologist Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, founder of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School. 

He shares a game-changing mindset shift: most challenging behavior is about skill, not will.

If you’ve ever thought, “They just don’t care,” about someone you love, this conversation provides a proven, practical path to real solutions. 

This episode explores:

• The five core skills that drive every behavior
• The real reason most people struggle
• How to keep your cool and trade judgment for curiosity
• The exact words that lower defensiveness fast
• Why boundaries still matter—and how to set them collaboratively
• A step-by-step walkthrough of Collaborative Problem Solving in action

For more from Dr. Stuart Ablon, check out his many free resources:

💡For free access to an interactive, self-paced course for parents, go to https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ Use code: BestofYou

🏥 Think: Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital 

📚Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work

Here are some other episodes you might like :

Episode 86: Embracing Conflict—Why It's Essential & 4 Simple Ways to Tackle It

Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!

• Head to cozyearth.com and use my code BESTOFYOU for 40% off!

• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.

  
  *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Best of You Podcast is your weekly space for wholehearted healing and soul-deep growth.

Every Thursday you'll learn from Dr. Alison Cook—a psychologist, author, and former teacher who’s passionate about breaking down complex ideas into simple, practical tools you can use every day.

You’ll find science-backed strategies and spiritual wisdom to help you:

• Heal from past wounds
• Set healthy, soul-honoring boundaries
• Strengthen your relationships
• And show up more fully as YOU

Whether you’re navigating overwhelm, rebuilding trust, or learning to rest in a busy world, this podcast is here to help you cultivate the clarity, courage, and compassion it takes to live with wholeness.

Now with video episodes and fresh conversations for a new season, The Best of You is more than a podcast—it’s a community choosing hope, healing, and transformation together.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if you weren’t meant to trust blindly, but to trust wisely?

Trust is sacred - and when it’s broken, it’s easy to shut down or swing toward over-trusting. In this episode, Alison explores how to cultivate a steady, discerning trust, one that honors both your boundaries and your desire for connection.

Dr. Alison explores what it means to build wise trust: the kind that’s discerning but still open to love. You’ll learn practical steps to protect your heart without hardening it, and how to partner with God in cultivating grounded, courageous trust that leads to real connection.

In this episode, we explore:

• How broken trust impacts our nervous system and relationships
• The difference between naïve trust and wise, grounded trust
• How to protect your heart without closing it off
• Practical steps to rebuild trust - with yourself, others, and God
• Why choosing openness is one of the bravest things you can do

If you’ve been hurt, disappointed, or afraid to let people in again, this episode will give you language, perspective, and hope for what it looks like to trust wisely - and love freely - again.

Follow Dr. Alison on Instagram @dralisoncook

📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here 

📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email.

Here are some other episodes you might like :

Episode 22:  How to Build Trust With Yourself.

Episode 117: Healing in the Messy Middle

 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!

• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.

• Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

•  For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU

• Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU to save 20% off plus free shipping on the Best sellers Trial Pack or the plant-based trial pack

Music by Andy Luiten

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when someone’s behavior leaves you feeling small, confused, or constantly on edge? 

That uneasy feeling isn’t random, it’s often a signal that something toxic is at play.

The Bible urges us to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves - to stay discerning, not naïve, in our relationships. Yet many of us brush off harmful patterns because we want to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or because our empathy and loyalty run deep. The problem? Those very strengths can make us more vulnerable to toxic strategies.

In this episode Dr. Alison names four of the most common toxic behaviors - manipulation, gaslighting, constant criticism, and triangulation - and shows you how to recognize them before they take root. She unpacks how to tell the difference between a one-time mistake and a repeated pattern of harm, and she offers practical tools to protect yourself without losing your compassion.

In this episode, we explore:

• The difference between mistakes and toxic patterns
• 4 common toxic behaviors and what they look like in real life
• The core root beneath toxic strategies
• How to deal with false guilt and set yourself free

If you’ve ever struggled with guilt, second-guessed your instincts, or felt trapped in a cycle of blame, this conversation will give you language, clarity, and hope for moving forward with wisdom and strength.

📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here 

📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email.

Here are some other episodes you might like :

Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting?

Episode 110: How to Be Wise When People Are Difficult—Biblical Strategies For Keeping Your Emotional Health & Mental Sanity

 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

Thanks to our Sponsors!

• Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
• If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.
• Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth.

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Music by Andy Luiten

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices