Friendship Therapy

Emma Reed Turrell

Hello! We’re Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed-Turrell. And for over 20 years, we’ve been best friends. Elizabeth is a broadcaster and author. Emma is a psychotherapist. Best Friend Therapy is where we chat about what’s on our minds to get deeper in our...

  • 8 minutes 14 seconds
    S3, Ep 2 Dial Emma: Grieving a Pet - what our animals can teach us about ourselves
    Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what we did there?!) You share your dilemma, any dilemma, and Emma shares her reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to navigate it.

    This week, Emma hears from a listener who is navigating the loss of a beloved companion and friend: her cat, Minnie. In her voicenote, this caller describes how she has struggled to do life without Minnie and is now considering getting a new cat, but continues to grapple with feelings of guilt at the prospect of moving on while still grieving for her furry friend.

    In this episode, Emma explores the unique experience of loving and grieving a pet, and shares how the long-lasting, consistent bonds that we build with our animals allow us to access and nurture the parts of ourselves that we often ignore.
      
    What advice would you give this listener?

    If you have a dilemma for Emma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod.

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    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

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    Social media:  

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod

    Email: [email protected]
    22 November 2024, 1:00 am
  • 46 minutes 49 seconds
    S3, Ep 1 Friendship Therapy: Reciprocity in Friendship - how fear can get in the way of vulnerability
    Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. To kick off season three, Emma chats to Poppy, who is struggling with a friendship dilemma that many of us can relate to.

    We've all been on the receiving end of a friend who has ditched us temporarily for a new relationship; perhaps we've been that friend who has, for a period of time, chosen to spend more time with a new partner than with our friendship group. But what happens when history seems to repeat itself over and over again?

    This week, Emma and Poppy talk about a particular friend who continuously chooses to drop her when the offer of a new relationship is on the horizon, and how that feels for Poppy. Using a Gestalt therapy technique, Emma takes Poppy through a therapy exercise live on the podcast to help her make sense of how a conversation with her friend might play out, and what the resolution might look like.

    Together, Emma and Poppy discover what Poppy's motivations in this friendship are, and why it might be more about feelings of fear, than feelings of frustration between the two of them.

    Find out more about Gestalt Therapy techniques: https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/gestalt-therapy-the-empty-chair-technique#:~:text=The%20Empty%20Chair%20Technique%20is,internal%20conflicts%20or%20unfinished%20business.

    If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: 
    https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7

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    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media: 

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod
    Email: [email protected]
    18 November 2024, 1:00 am
  • 41 minutes 49 seconds
    S3, Ep 1 BONUS: Tolerance in Friendship with Michelle Elman
    Hello, and welcome to season three of Friendship Therapy! This is the podcast in which author and podcaster Emma Reed Turrell talks to real people about real friendships and looks at these pivotal relationships through a therapeutic lens.

    This week, a special bonus episode to kick off a new season: Emma chats to Michelle Elman, bestselling author, speaker and life coach whose fifth book, Bad Friend: Why Friendship Breakups Hurt and How to Heal, is due to be published in May 2025.

    Michelle joins Emma to talk about tolerance in friendship and explore why we can find it challenging to tolerate the decisions our friends make. When is it time to bite your tongue in friendship, and when does our silence make us complicit? Are we trying to save our friend, or is it really about saving a younger part of ourselves?

    Pre-order Michelle's book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bad-Friend-Friendship-Breakups-Hurt/dp/1408749459/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

    If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season 4, please click the link below to fill out the form: 
    https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7

    Voicenote Emma with your dilemma in the @friendshiptherapypod DMs.

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    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media: 

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod
    Email: [email protected]
    11 November 2024, 1:00 am
  • 13 minutes 49 seconds
    S2, Ep 12 Dial Emma: Friendship Accountability - is it me, or is it them?
    Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy, and the season 2 finale! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds.

    This week, our Dial Emma caller wants to talk about accountability in friendship. Should we adjust our expectations when friends let us down, or should we hold them to higher standards? Why is there often less accountability in friendship compared to romantic relationships?

    In this episode, and in the absence of a friendship HR department, jury or ombudsman, Emma encourages this listener to ask a simple question that might open up a much more honest conversation: is it me that’s not okay, or is it this situation that is not okay?

    Emma also explores why accountability and deep connection are not always a given in friendship, and why we need to get curious about what we are willing to offer as a friend and, crucially, what we need from friendship.
      
    What advice would you give this listener?

    We'll be back with season 3 very soon, so please keep sending in your dilemmas for Emma to respond to! Drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod.

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    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media:  

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod

    Email: [email protected]
    4 October 2024, 12:00 am
  • 47 minutes 39 seconds
    S2, Ep 11 Friendship Therapy: Childhood Friendships - friendship from the perspective of a 10-year-old
    Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens.

    So many of our wonderful guests talk about childhood friendships and how those early experiences shape the friendships that we'll make as adults - so who better to help us talk about the way those friendships form than someone who's in the middle of making them right now?

    This week, Emma chats to Elsa. She's 10 years old. She's an expert on childhood friendship. And she also happens to be Emma's daughter.

    Emma and Elsa talk about what makes a good friend, those times when 'magpying' is actually copying, how to deal with it when a friend hurts our feelings, and Emma's personal friendship nemesis, the group of three.

    Please do bear with us if the sound quality is slightly affected this week. Many sweets were consumed in the making of this episode.

    If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast in season 3, please click the link below to fill out the form: 
    https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7

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    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media: 

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod
    Email: [email protected]
    30 September 2024, 12:00 am
  • 10 minutes 59 seconds
    S2, Ep 10 Dial Emma: Guilt in Friendship - how do I stop feeling guilty for moving away from my friends?
    Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds.

    This week, we meet a listener who is grappling with feelings of guilt after moving away from their hometown - especially when the friends they left behind make comments about how little they get to see each other, and how they wish things could be different.

    We can all recognise that the feeling of guilt is only appropriate when we have done something objectively wrong, but how can we put this into practice in our relationships? How can we repair, when there was no wrong to begin with? How can we understand the difference between what we're choosing to hear, and what is actually being said?

    In this episode, Emma encourages this listener to get curious about their metric of friendship in order to find a way forward that meets their needs and that of their friends. Emma also explores some of the deeper emotions that might be hidden beneath the feeling of guilt, and reminds us all that we are not responsible for remedying how other people feel about the decisions we make for ourselves.
      
    What advice would you give this listener?
     
    If you’ve got a friendship dilemma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod!

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    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media:  

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod

    Email: [email protected]
    27 September 2024, 12:00 am
  • 51 minutes 15 seconds
    S2, Ep 9 Friendship Therapy: Friendship Boundaries - how rupture in friendship can help us break our own patterns
    Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens.

    This week, Emma is joined by Scott, a man who, now in his 40s, has experienced a sudden turnover in the friends he made in his 20s.

    A repeating pattern of rupture and loss has made him more defensive in the friendships he has left and wary of making new friends, and friendship has gone from being something he felt he could count on in the past to being something that feels much more risky in the present.

    So far, he's looked to his own behaviour for explanation. In this conversation, Emma guides Scott to look further back at the role he played within his family to help understand the expectations he has of himself in friendships now. This is a conversation about boundaries, and why it's OK to aim for doing what is appropriate in your friendships, rather than whatever is physically possible. 

    If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: 
    https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7

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    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media: 

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod
    Email: [email protected]
    23 September 2024, 12:00 am
  • 10 minutes 51 seconds
    S2, Ep 8 Dial Emma: Friendship Endings - how do I stop ghosting friends and create some friendship stability for myself?
    Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds.
     
    This week, we hear from a listener who recognises that they have a tendency to initiate very intense friendships, only to end them abruptly after a short time. This listener travels frequently for work and struggles to hold on to friendships long-term, but is that because they are not around in a purely geographical sense, or because there's something deeper there to explore?

    In this episode, Emma explores the idea of bingeing and purging in friendship, and how we can both crave connection and be overwhelmed by it beyond a certain point. We also discover the role that attachment styles can play in our friendships, and why sometimes, it's better to lean into our fears and allow them to motivate us to make a change, rather than sticking with what we've always known.
     
    What advice would you give this listener?
     
    If you’ve got a friendship dilemma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod!

    ---

    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media:  

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod

    Email: [email protected]
    20 September 2024, 12:00 am
  • 48 minutes 56 seconds
    S2, Ep 7 Friendship Therapy: It's Complicated - friendships formed from grief and loss
    This week, Emma is joined by Annie to talk about her friendship with Katie, one that was born out of tragic circumstances and one that others have struggled to accept.

    Katie had been engaged to Annie's brother and a cherished member of their family since she'd first arrived on the scene at 15, but some years later, they decided to take a break from their relationship. When Pete was tragically killed in a road traffic collision, Annie and Katie continued to be an active presence in each other's lives as they both navigated grief, loss, new relationships and parenthood.

    In this episode, we hear about how Annie and Katie's friendship has sustained them through life's ups and downs, and why the last conversation Annie ever had with Pete would prove to be so important to the friendship they would go on to build.

    If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: 
    https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7

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    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media: 

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod
    Email: [email protected]
    16 September 2024, 12:00 am
  • 10 minutes 18 seconds
    S2, Ep 6 Dial Emma: Communication in Friendship - how can we give ourselves permission to exist as our true selves in friendship?
    Welcome back to Dial Emma from Friendship Therapy! This is where you get to dial Emma, with your dilemma (see what I did there?!) You share your friendship concerns, and I share my reflections as a therapist to give you the tips and tools you need to build better bonds.
     
    This week, we hear from a listener who is struggling to navigate an imbalance in communication styles in a friendship, especially when it comes to making plans and responding to messages within a perceived timeframe that, currently, neither of them are sticking to.
     
    How can these friends update their friendship contract into the present so that both parties can show up wholly as themselves? Can people who have very different communication styles be in a successful friendship where their individual needs are met?
     
    In this episode, Emma comes back to attachment styles to try and understand what the dissonance could be between these friends, and why they have two very different reactions to a lack of ‘regular’ communication, whatever that looks like for them. Are they simply singing from different hymn sheets, or is it about giving themselves permission individually to behave in the ways that work for them within the friendship?
     
    What advice would you give this listener?
     
    If you’ve got a friendship dilemma, drop us a voicenote on Instagram @friendshiptherapypod!

    ---

    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media:  

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod

    Email: [email protected]
    13 September 2024, 12:00 am
  • 57 minutes
    S2, Ep 5 Friendship Therapy: Friendship Heartbreak - the games we play in friendship
    Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens.

    This week, Emma is joined by Holly to talk about friendship heartbreak and how it feels to be dumped by a friend.

    When Holly’s two closest friends got engaged, she found herself waiting for an invitation to be a part of the bridal party that never came. What happened next was a slow and painful reevaluation of the terms of a friendship that had formed such a significant and meaningful part of her life for more than a decade.

    In this conversation, Emma and Holly discover how a text message about wedding planning would unravel a whole decade's worth of friendship and, ultimately, reveal a much more conditional connection built on conflict avoidance and adaptation.

    Through the Transactional Analysis theory of games, we look back to the beginning of Holly's friendship game to help her understand what went wrong and learn how to avoid the same heartbreak in future.

    To learn more about transactional analysis and the games people play, visit: https://www.mindtools.com/ayjtd4p/transactional-analysis


    If you’d like to apply to appear on the podcast, please click the link below to fill out the form: 
    https://forms.gle/9yZAVgF9BbyKhwsV7

    ---

    Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

    --- 

    Social media: 

    Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
    Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod
    Email: [email protected]
    9 September 2024, 12:00 am
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