Acupuncture for IVF & Fertility — What Solo Mums Need to Know | Dr Michelle Smith, Ova Acupuncture

Most fertility specialists will tell you to try acupuncture. Very few of them explain why.

This week I'm joined by Dr Michelle Smith — acupuncturist, Chinese herbal medicine practitioner, and director of Ova Acupuncture in Brisbane. Michelle specialises in fertility and women's health, has two clinics in Brisbane, and sees women from all over Australia, including many solo mums by choice. She's also, as of this recording, 13 weeks pregnant via IVF — her first transfer — doing this solo, and very happy to talk about all of it.

This episode is Acupuncture 101 for anyone who has been told it might help, has no idea how or why, and wants to actually understand the mechanism rather than just taking someone's word for it.

We cover everything — the science and the philosophy, what's actually happening when a needle goes in and why that matters for egg quality and implantation, the ideal timeline for starting treatment before an IVF cycle, what to do if you have PCOS, what's different for known donor home insemination, how acupuncture supports perimenopause, and what to look for when finding a practitioner near you.

Michelle is also refreshingly honest about what acupuncture can and can't do, why the pre- and post-transfer appointment is not as essential as the industry often suggests, and why her first priority with most new patients is to get them off half the supplements they're on.

If you've been on the fence about whether to add acupuncture to your IVF cycle — this episode will help you make that decision.

 

Ova Acupuncture — Brisbane, two clinics, telehealth available for interstate patients. Visit ovaacupuncture.au

Note: Michelle can also provide referrals to trusted colleagues around Australia for those not in Brisbane.

 

In this episode:

• How Michelle came to specialise in fertility — her own PCOS diagnosis, five years of study, and why she says she has the best job in the world

• Why fertility specialists telling you to "get acupuncture to relax" undersells what it's actually doing

• The sympathetic versus parasympathetic nervous system — and why the goal of acupuncture is to move you out of fight-or-flight

• How acupuncture supports IVF: blood flow to the ovaries, follicle quality, immune regulation and implantation

• The whole-systems approach — why the 12 weeks of weekly sessions before your cycle matters more than a pre- and post-transfer appointment

• What to do if you haven't had 12 weeks — the alternative protocol for stim phase

• The post-transfer window — what acupuncture is doing during the two-week wait, and when it's worth coming in

• What Michelle looks for when reviewing solo mums' IVF histories — and the basic things she sees missed because "we assumed everything was fine"

• Diet and lifestyle for fertility: Mediterranean diet, blood sugar regulation, eating enough, and why ice baths are off the table

• Acupuncture for known donor home insemination — optimising ovulation, luteal phase support, and vaginal microbiome testing

• PCOS and fertility: irregular ovulation, AMH, OHSS risk, and how Chinese medicine treats the individual rather than the protocol

• Perimenopause and why this generation of women is experiencing it differently — and how acupuncture helps

• How to navigate acupuncture with a needle phobia or as a neurodivergent person

• How to find a qualified fertility acupuncturist near you — what to look for and what to ask

• Michelle's IVF journey: first transfer, 13 weeks pregnant, doing it solo, and what she'd tell anyone just starting out

Key Takeaways

• Acupuncture does more than help you relax — it shifts the nervous system, directs blood flow to reproductive organs, and supports immune regulation for implantation

• The whole-systems approach means regular weekly sessions in the lead-up to your cycle are more valuable than a single pre/post-transfer appointment

• Ideally start acupuncture 12 weeks before your IVF stim phase — or twice weekly during stim if you haven't had that lead time

• Solo mums often have basic things missed in their fertility workup because everyone assumes the only reason for IVF is the absence of a partner — advocate for full investigations

• Less is more with supplements — a good practitioner will help you stop rattling, not add more to the pile

• Mediterranean diet, regular meals, blood sugar stability, warmth, and adequate sleep are the foundations — before anything else

• Ice baths are not recommended when trying to conceive — in Chinese medicine, warmth supports blood flow and a fertile environment

• For known donor/home insemination: focus on ovulation regularity, luteal phase quality, and vaginal microbiome health

• When choosing a practitioner, check AHPRA registration and ask about post-graduate fertility training specifically

• You deserve to feel safe, listened to and advocated for in acupuncture — just as you do in any medical setting

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant or TTC solo?

The Bump Membership is your virtual village — a private WhatsApp community of solo mums to be, plus fortnightly connection calls on Zoom where we share, laugh, and support one another. Members also receive exclusive discounts on Solo Mum Society courses and products. Find out more.

Nine People, One Tiny Town, and the Boy Who Brought the House Back to Life

Kaitlynn was never much of a dater. In her early 20s, her mum — who, as mums do, knew her best — floated the idea of going it alone. It took another six or seven years of on-and-off conversation before Kaitlynn, now 29 and living in a four-generation household in remote Tasmania, finally sat down and started putting the pieces together.

When we first spoke to Kaitlynn, she was weeks out from her first fertility appointment — bloods done, paperwork filed, donor shortlisted, waiting on cycle day one. Her closest clinic was a four-hour drive from home; Hobart, where her specialist was based, was seven. She'd chosen her donor through Fertility Tasmania using the Seattle Sperm Bank, picking an ID release donor with a clean health history and an artistic, musical background she hoped her future child would inherit. She funded the whole process through an early release of her superannuation.

Two and a half years later, we caught up again. Kaitlynn fell pregnant on her first IUI. She developed gestational diabetes at 30 weeks, managed it through diet, and navigated a flare-up of pre-existing mental health struggles during pregnancy with her family close by. At her 20-week scan, doctors flagged a suspected clubfoot — confirmed at birth. Sully went into his first cast at three weeks old, had a small surgery to release his Achilles tendon at around three months, and has been in boots and a bar ever since, now down to overnight wear only. Kaitlynn talks openly about handing her newborn over to a surgeon, about the four-hour round trips for treatment from a town of 35 people, and about how becoming Sully's mum reshaped who she is — pulling her whole nine-person "village" closer in the process.

In this episode:

• Kaitlynn's mum first suggesting the solo mum path when Kaitlynn was in her early 20s, and what finally made her act on it

• Living in a four-generation household in remote Tasmania — nine people under one roof, and why "we'll just fit another one in" was the family's reaction

• The logistics of pursuing treatment four hours from the nearest clinic, seven from her specialist in Hobart

• Choosing an ID release donor through Fertility Tasmania and the Seattle Sperm Bank — health history, artistic background, and "donor roulette" with her best friend

• Falling pregnant on her first IUI, and the strange lack of surprise that comes with a fully planned conception

• Gestational diabetes at 30 weeks and a flare-up of pre-existing mental health struggles during pregnancy

• Sully's clubfoot diagnosis at the 20-week scan — weekly casts from three weeks old, a small surgery, and life in boots and a bar

• What it was like handing her newborn over to a surgeon for the first time

• Four-hour round trips to hospital from a town with a population of 35

• How becoming Sully's mum reshaped her sense of identity — and reconnected her with nieces, nephews and her nan

• Travelling internationally and to Bali with a toddler, and how she built community from hundreds of kilometres away

• Going back and forth on a second child, and what's stopping her from letting go of the last vial in storage

• What she wants to say to Sully when he's old enough to hear this episode

Key Takeaways

• Isolation doesn't rule out solo motherhood — it just means the logistics take more planning, and a good specialist will work around your geography rather than against it

• A quick, straightforward IUI is possible, even after years of thinking it all through

• Gestational diabetes and antenatal mental health flare-ups are common, not a reflection of anything you did wrong

• A medical diagnosis picked up on a routine scan doesn't have to define the story — Sully's clubfoot became "just part of what he's known," not a source of ongoing distress

• Having a wide support "village" doesn't dilute the mother-child bond — if anything, it gave Kaitlynn's whole extended family new life

• Indecision about a second child is normal, and there's no timeline you're required to resolve it on

• Distance from other solo mums doesn't mean isolation — online community and events like Bali can close that gapA brief note: this episode includes the death of Jessica's mum from cancer during Teddy's first year, and a hospital stay for Teddy shortly after. It's heavy in places — but told with real warmth, and it ends somewhere good.

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant or TTC solo?

The Bump Membership is your virtual village — a private WhatsApp community of solo mums to be, plus fortnightly connection calls on Zoom where we share, laugh, and support one another. Members also receive exclusive discounts on Solo Mum Society courses and products. Find out more.

Every donor-conceived child from an SMBC will ask it eventually. Mummy, why don't I have a daddy?

Most of us lie awake at some point worrying about how to answer it. What words do we use? How much do we say? What if we get it wrong?

This week I'm joined by Beth Sadowsky — solo mum by choice, life coach, and author of Choosing Rose, a children's picture book written specifically for SMBC families. Beth is based in Florida, USA, and her daughter Lily is 7. The book started as a letter Beth wrote to Lily while she was still pregnant — a way to prepare for the conversation she knew was coming — and it became a beautifully illustrated picture book that leans into the question rather than avoiding it.

Choosing Rose isn't a biology lesson. It doesn't explain what sperm is or how IVF works. It's a story — warm enough for bedtime and honest enough to open a real conversation. The kind of book you can hand your child and read together, and the words come naturally because the story does the work.

We talk about how the book came to be, what Lily thought when she first heard it read to her, how Beth handled the moment at school when Lily said I wish I had a daddy at a table full of dads, and why Beth believes the question isn't something to dread — it's one of the most beautiful opportunities we have as solo mums.

This episode is for any solo mum who hasn't quite worked out how to start this conversation yet. Or who's been putting it off. Or who picked up the book and burst into tears before they even got to page three.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin.

Choosing Rose is available on Amazon, including Amazon Australia. Search: Choosing Rose Beth Sadowsky.

In this episode:

• What inspired Beth to write Choosing Rose — and why it started as a letter, not a book

• The gap in children's books for SMBC families — what exists, what doesn't, and why it matters

• Why Beth deliberately kept the book free of biological detail — and what that makes possible

• How Lily reacted when Beth first read it to her at age 2 — and what she thinks now at 7

• The moment at a school event when Lily said "I wish I had a daddy" — and how Beth handled it without making it a big deal

• Why "I wish I had a daddy" almost never means what we think it means — and what to do instead of panicking

• The difference between the question being about absence vs. the question being about curiosity

• How to use Choosing Rose at school to help classmates and teachers understand your family

• Beth's advice for any solo mum who wants to write their own book — three things she'd tell anyone starting out

• Why Father's Day is actually a perfect moment to open this conversation

Links

• Choosing Rose on Amazon Australia

• Beth on Instagram: @choosingmotherhoodbooks or @choosing.motherhood

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

You're Not Doing This Alone

Solo Mum Society's Facebook group is full of women asking the exact questions you're too tired to Google at 3am. Join here.

She Chose Her Mother's Coffin With Her Newborn in the Next Room

A brief note: this episode includes the death of Jessica's mum from cancer during Teddy's first year, and a hospital stay for Teddy shortly after. It's heavy in places — but told with real warmth, and it ends somewhere good.

Jessica brought Teddy home five days after his birth, straight into a household COVID exposure that saw her evacuated to her brother's for a week. It set the tone. Over the following eight months, her mum's cancer — held at bay through years of chemo — stopped responding. On Christmas Day, watching Teddy on his new swing, her mum said she was done.

Nine days later she was gone. Jessica went from choosing her mother's coffin to planning eulogies with her five-month-old in the next room — and that same night, drove Teddy to hospital with a UTI, still in her funeral clothes. She calls it, only half-joking, the worst run she's ever had.

What carries the second half of this conversation isn't the hardship — it's what Jessica does with it. A letter her mum left her says three words: look for the joy. It's tattooed on her arm now, in her mum's handwriting. She talks about grief and gratitude sitting in the same two hands, her dad's daily role in getting Teddy to daycare, and why — for now — she's landed on one and done.

In this episode:

• Bringing Teddy home into a COVID household exposure, five days postpartum, and being evacuated to her brother's for a week

• Her mum's decline over Teddy's first eight months, and choosing to stop active treatment on Christmas Day

• Choosing her mother's coffin with her newborn in the next room

• Teddy's hospital admission for a UTI the night of the funeral

• Why "look for the joy" — her mum's own words — is tattooed on her arm

• Going back to work at six and a half months, and needing the distraction

• Her dad's daily role — early starts, daycare drop-offs, and finding purpose in it too

• The second embryo still in storage, and why she's landed on "one and done"

• Her message to Teddy for his 21st birthday, and her advice for anyone considering this path

Key Takeaways

• You can hold joy and grief in the same two hands at the same time — becoming a mum and losing a parent aren't mutually exclusive experiences

• Letting grandparents help in practical, daily ways gives them purpose too, not just support to you

• Going back to work early isn't a failure of bonding — sometimes it's what makes you a better, more present parent

• "One and done" is a considered decision, not a consolation prize

• The advice that gets you through 3am isn't always a professional — it's a Facebook group full of people asking the same question you're too embarrassed to ask

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

You're Not Doing This Alone

Solo Mum Society's Facebook group is full of women asking the exact questions you're too tired to Google at 3am. Join here.

Ten Years, One Afternoon, and a Donor She Wasn't Supposed to Find That Fast

A brief note: this episode touches on Jessica's mum's terminal cancer diagnosis, which arrived while she was starting IVF. Nothing graphic — just wanted you to know it's there.

Jessica always knew she'd be a mum. What she had, that a lot of solo mums don't, was a role model: her aunt, a solo mum by choice back in the early '90s, back when it wasn't spoken about at all. Jessica set herself a deadline — 32 — and spent the years before it doing the groundwork: leaving a teaching career that had wrecked her mental health, retraining as a nurse through COVID, having bariatric surgery, losing 70 kilos.

By the time she walked into her fertility clinic, her mum had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Jessica kept going anyway — her mum wanted it that way. She found her donor on the very first afternoon she looked at profiles, then spent days convincing herself it couldn't really be that simple. It was. Her egg collection came back lower than hoped, four eggs, three fertilised — but two became embryos, and her fresh transfer implanted the same day her nan passed away.

Her mum was too unwell to be in the room for the caesarean she'd always planned to be at. Her dad stepped in instead, and cut the cord. Jessica calls it the best moment of her life — calm, exactly as she'd hoped, nothing like the year that was about to follow.

In this episode:

• Growing up with a solo-mum-by-choice aunt, and what a good example of the journey looks like when you're young

• Leaving teaching, moving home, and choosing nursing — specifically anaesthetics — for the job security and flexibility motherhood would need

• Bariatric surgery, losing 70 kilos, and reversing her PCOS along the way

• Her mum's terminal cancer diagnosis landing right as she started the fertility process — and choosing to keep going

• Finding her sperm donor on the very first day, and the days it took her to believe that was real

• A lower-than-hoped egg collection — 4 eggs, 3 fertilised — and why "still four" was enough

• Falling pregnant the same day her nan passed away

• Hyperemesis gravidarum, advanced maternal age, and working as an anaesthetic nurse through a high-risk pregnancy

• Her dad stepping in for the planned caesarean, and cutting the cord

Key Takeaways

• Groundwork for solo motherhood — financial, physical, mental — can start years before you make the "official" decision

• Finding your donor fast isn't a red flag. It's allowed to be simple.

• A low egg collection number isn't the end of the story. It only takes one.

• You don't have to pause a fertility journey because life gets hard at the same time — sometimes it's the reason to keep going

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant or TTC Solo?

Expecting Solo takes you through everything you need to navigate pregnancy solo, share your news with confidence, and bring joy to the journey. Find out more.

One appointment changed everything

Emma never romanticised motherhood. She spent her whole career caring for other people's children — as a live-in nanny, a live-out nanny, and eventually a kinder assistant — and somewhere along the way she started asking herself whether she'd regret not having a child of her own.

The answer was yes. And that was enough.

She didn't come to this with urgency or grief or a ticking clock. She came to it with clarity. When her best friend's AMH results came back unexpectedly, Emma went and got her own tested. Her level was 8, at 32. She booked an appointment with a fertility specialist — not sure yet whether she'd freeze her eggs or something more — and walked out of that appointment completely certain: she was going to do it now.

She picked a donor in January 2024, on the first day she allowed herself to look. She found him almost immediately. She chose him on vibe — specifically, on the way he answered a question about how he felt about potentially having a biological child out there. His honesty about the nervousness of it was the thing that landed. One round of IVF, first transfer. Positive.

Franklin arrived after an induction and one hour and fifteen minutes of active labour. He was at a wedding five days later. He is now 17 months old, obsessed with his shoes, and recently helped Emma unpack the dishwasher by putting a glass on the shelf at exactly the right height.

This is a short, honest, uncomplicated story. Not every journey is long. Not every IVF cycle fails. Emma's wasn't, and hers is here to remind you that it can just work.

In this episode:

• Growing up always around kids — nannying as a career and how it shaped, and complicated, her path to motherhood

• Why adoption or foster care was always in her thinking — and why the reality in Australia didn't match the idea

• The AMH test that lit the fuse — and the appointment that made the decision for her

• Deciding at 32 that she didn't want to wait for a relationship she wasn't sure was coming

• Choosing a donor almost immediately — and why his answer about nervous anticipation of future contact was the deciding factor

• IVF at City Fertility: smooth, straightforward, first transfer positive

• A quick induction and one hour fifteen minutes of active labour

• Coming home to a full house — her mum, her mum's partner, and a housemate — and how that helped and sometimes didn't

• Mixed feeding until 8 months — three methods running simultaneously because she couldn't choose

• Going to a wedding five days postpartum

• The work complications that caught her off guard — disability job restructured, shifts changed, financially in limbo at 17 months postpartum

• What surprised her most about having a baby after a career caring for other people's children

• The FOMO that disappeared, the priorities that shifted, and the softness that settled in

• Why she wants a second child — and what she'd do differently to prepare

Key Takeaways

• One appointment can make the decision for you — go and get the information before you decide anything

• A low AMH at 32 doesn't mean this is impossible; it means start sooner rather than later

• You don't need a partner to take the next step. You just need to take the next step.

• Working with children professionally does not prepare you emotionally for your own — the connection is completely different

• Don't go back to work assuming everything will be the same — roles change, rosters change, hours change. Have a contingency in mind

• Mixed feeding is not failure. It is just one more decision with pros and cons and no clear winner, and you will get through it either way

• Solo motherhood doesn't have to be hard or long. It can just work.

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?

The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

Two Kids, One Heart Condition, and No Regrets

A brief note: this episode mentions a miscarriage between Kristina's two pregnancies. She shares it with grace and without distress, but we wanted you to know it's there.

 

Kristina spent her 30s doing what she loved — living in different countries, working big marketing jobs, going out, seeing things. Children were always in the plan. A partner never quite materialised. And then her mum — a retired GP who had spent her career delivering babies — started dropping not-so-subtle hints every time she saw her.

By 38, Kristina made the appointment.

What followed was a journey that looked nothing like she imagined, partly because of the pandemic that landed in the middle of it, and partly because of the heart condition she had been managing for years — including an implanted defibrillator — that meant nobody quite knew how her body would handle a pregnancy. The answer, it turned out, was better than out of it.

Kristina conceived on her first IVF transfer at City Fertility, in Melbourne, just as the borders closed. Her whole pregnancy was in lockdown. She worked from home, mostly unseen, growing a baby in an Art Deco apartment in Prahran while the world tried to work out what was happening. Otis arrived via planned caesarean at Epworth in June 2020 — small, at 2.1 kilos, and with talipes (clubfoot) that hadn't been picked up on any scan.

What followed was five months of weekly leg casts, a small operation to release tendons, then months in boots and a bar — a mini snowboard contraption that kept his feet overcorrected while the bones formed. It was hard. He was, as Kristina puts it, a miserable baby. She moved her parents in and went on road trips whenever the lockdowns allowed.

She went back for a second child when Otis was 20 months old. There was a miscarriage between them — the numbers weren't going up, and then suddenly they were, and then there was no heartbeat. She managed it medically and ended up in hospital. It was awful. Then she went back, transferred the next embryo, and got pregnant straight away.

Seven months into that pregnancy, she packed up the apartment, flew to New Zealand with her mum and Otis, and had Ari via planned C-section at Nelson Public Hospital. This time, everything was fine. He slept. She called the midwife crying, convinced something was wrong.

Otis is five. Ari is two and a half. Kristina is about to launch her own fashion brand from Nelson. She rides bikes and scooters to school with her boys every morning. She doesn't regret a single thing.

In this episode:

• Growing up the eldest of four — always knowing she wanted to be a mother, even when she was busy living her best life in her 30s

• Her mum — a retired GP — planting the seed with increasing persistence, and why she's grateful for it

• The heart condition and implanted defibrillator that made her wonder whether her body could handle pregnancy — and why it turned out to be the wrong thing to worry about

• Deciding to keep her IUI cycles secret from almost everyone — and why she told everyone when she moved to IVF

• IVF at 38-39 at City Fertility: 8 eggs, 4 embryos, pregnant on the first transfer

• Getting the positive the day the COVID borders closed — her mum, her Canadian friend, and their bags packed

• A COVID pregnancy — working from home, nobody watching the bump grow, quietly grateful for the rest

• Otis arriving at 2.1 kilos with undetected talipes — the shock, the five months of weekly casts, the minor surgery, and the boots and bar he wore until he was four

• What it was really like — the misery, the pacing, the jiggling, the shushing, and the road trips in between lockdowns

• The miscarriage between her two pregnancies — what happened physically, the hospital trip that followed, and how she feels about it now

• Going back, transferring the next embryo, and getting pregnant straight away

• Moving to New Zealand at 7 months pregnant — what she'd do differently, and what she'd tell anyone considering the same move

• Ari's birth at Nelson Public Hospital — perfectly smooth, and a baby who slept so well she thought something was wrong

• Finding six solo mums in Nelson and building a community in a small town

• Leaving the corporate world, turning down a dream Auckland job, and launching her own fashion brand

• What surprised her most about doing this twice — and which stage she didn't expect to be the hardest

Key Takeaways

• A pre-existing health condition doesn't mean solo motherhood isn't possible — it means you need the right team, honest conversations, and a specialist who will help you get there, not talk you out of it

• You never feel completely ready — at some point, you have to decide the process is more important than the feeling

• Telling people matters — the support you get back is almost always better than you expected

• Moving countries (or even cities) for support with a second child is not retreating — it's a practical, wise decision that makes the whole thing possible

• The hard parts of the newborn phase fade faster than you think — and that's not a trick, it's biology

• The hardest stage with two children isn't the newborn period — it's when the younger one develops their own strong personality and the two of them want different things

• You can build a solo mum community anywhere, even a small town — it finds you once you're there

• Two boys, solo: they will love you fiercely, and you will take full credit for all of it

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant or TTC Solo?

The Expecting solo takes you through everything you need to navigate pregnancy solo, share your news with confidence, build your support network and bring joy to the journey. Find out more.

First Try, Water Birth & Teaching Full Time

Lindsay is the kind of person who, when she decides something is happening, makes it happen.

She promised herself at 27 — the day she left her marriage — that not having a partner would never mean not having a child. She promised herself again at 30, moving to Scotland on her own without knowing a single person. And she promised herself at 35 that if she was still single, she would make it happen that year. She was. She did.

One round of IVF at Melbourne IVF. Nineteen eggs retrieved. Six embryos. A frozen transfer in December, just before her 36th birthday. A positive result over Christmas. A water birth with a doula at 37 weeks and two days — the day after her last day of work, standing in the rain doing tram duty. Aric is now eight months old. She's back teaching full time. She's planning to donate her eggs.

Lindsay is a maths and science teacher at an independent school in Melbourne. She navigated her entire IVF journey secretly, before the pregnancy was announced, managing scans and blood tests around the school day. She came back to work at five months and has spent term one figuring out what it actually means to be a full-time teacher and a full-time solo mum simultaneously — including more sick days than she's had in six years, a daycare she describes as phenomenal, and a WhatsApp group of five women from the Preparing for Solo Motherhood course who all had babies in the same year and are now, she says, the best thing in her life besides Aric.

This is a story for anyone who's been putting it off, thinks their journey will be long, or isn't sure how it's going to work with their job. Lindsay's answer to all of it is the same: you decide, and then you make it work.

In this episode:

• Leaving her marriage at 27 and her mum's advice that changed everything

• Living and working in Scotland at 30, dating with the FYI conversation, and the decision point at 35

• The public fertility waitlist in Victoria — what it is, how long it takes, and why she's glad she explored private options at the same time

• IVF at Melbourne IVF: choosing a donor, genetic carrier testing, and the last-minute transfer of funds before getting on a plane to Scotland

• Nineteen eggs, six embryos, an OHSS risk, and a frozen transfer just before the Christmas clinic shutdown

• Managing IVF secretly as a teacher — early morning appointments, removing clinic letterheads from medical certificates, and keeping a tight circle of support

• The embryo transfer day — emotionally the hardest part of the journey, and the Facebook community moment that changed everything

• A straightforward pregnancy, no complications beyond pelvic pain, and morning sickness managed with medication

• Working to 37.5 weeks pregnant, tram duty in the rain on her last Friday, and Aric arriving the next day

• Choosing a doula as a solo mum — why it was a deliberate, empowering choice, and how it shaped her birth

• A water birth with minimal intervention, just happy gas, and what she describes as one of the most magical things she's ever done

• Negotiating maternity leave in an independent school — EBAs, school holiday pay, the conversation she had to have with her principal, and going back to work at five months

• A phenomenal community daycare, full time from five months, and navigating the first term back

• The Preparing for Solo Motherhood course WhatsApp group — five women, five babies, late-night chats, Sunday check-ins, and a care package sent to a hospital in Sydney

• Why she plans to donate her eggs — and the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny philosophy behind itKey Takeaways

Key Takeaways

• The Victorian public fertility waitlist is worth joining even if private is your plan — people drop off ahead of you and circumstances change

• If you're a teacher, ask your clinic for first appointments of the day — most fertility clinics accommodate this, and it's worth asking upfront

• Tell your employer just enough to get the support you need — but ask about EBAs and maternity leave entitlements early, because independent schools operate differently to government schools

• A doula is one of the most practical choices a solo mum can make for birth — she is your advocate, she knows your plan, and she doesn't count toward your support person limit

• The course WhatsApp group is not a nice-to-have — it's one of the most important villages you can build before the baby arrives

• You don't need a partner to have a rich support network — you need the right community

• IVF as a solo mum by choice is empowering, not a last resort. The way we talk about it is different — and that mattersYou owe your fertility clinic no loyalty if it's not the right fit — changing clinics can change everything

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?

The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

Most of the stories on this podcast start at the beginning. This one starts seven years down the track — and it's one of the most valuable perspectives we have.

Renee made her first appointment at 37, after a colleague finally said the quiet part loud and told her to just do it already. She did two IUI rounds, had a bad experience with her first IVF clinic and walked away, found Dr David Wilkinson at City Fertility, and on her third and final round — a frozen transfer she specifically advocated for against the default fresh option — fell pregnant with Aria. She was 39.

Aria is now seven. She goes to Girl Guides, swimming and karate. She spent time in Bali with the solo mum community and came home telling her teachers about her brothers and sisters. She has decided she can't find Renee a husband because all the good ones are already married. She recently concluded she'd like to learn how to be on her own first before finding a partner — and she's seven.

This is a conversation about what the long view really looks like. Not just the birth story and the newborn phase — though Renee shares those too, including a GP who missed her post-caesarean sepsis and a cow's milk protein intolerance that took months to diagnose — but what it means to raise a donor-conceived child who is starting to ask real questions, to build a village from scratch in a new city, and to feel, genuinely, that this life is fuller than anything you could have imagined before it.

In this episode:

• The colleague who finally told her to just do it — and how one conversation changed everything

• Two IUI rounds and her first IVF clinic — and the moment she realised she owed them nothing and left

• Finding Dr David Wilkinson at City Fertility, a fresh perspective, and a one-step-at-a-time approach

• Three IVF rounds at 39 — low numbers, a Bali holiday between rounds, and the frozen transfer she asked for over the default fresh

• The butterfly effect moment: the embryo she asked to be frozen became Aria

• Coming home after a caesarean — and the GP who dismissed her concerns, missed her sepsis, and tried to put her on antidepressants

• Cow's milk protein intolerance: months of a screaming baby, a GP who listened, and 48 hours to a different child

• Donating her remaining embryo to another solo mum via Facebook — and what that process involved

• Aria at seven: the donor questions she's asking, what Renee tells her and what she doesn't, and why she won't build up a donor who may disappoint

• The one and done decision — and the clear-eyed logic behind it

• The solo mum community: nearly giving up after two bad playground meet-ups, a leap-of-faith camping trip to Phillip Island, and the village she now can't imagine living without

• The daughters of solo mums — and why Renee thinks they're going to have a fundamentally different relationship with what they need from a partner

• What she'd say to Aria, and what she'd say to anyone sitting on the fence

Key Takeaways

• You owe your fertility clinic no loyalty if it's not the right fit — changing clinics can change everything

• Advocate for yourself in IVF decisions — Renee asked for a frozen transfer over the default fresh, and that embryo became Aria

• Trust your instincts about your baby's health. If a GP dismisses you, find another one and bring your list

• Building your village takes time, a few wrong fits, and one leap of faith — but it is out there

• The solo mum community doesn't just support the mums — it creates chosen family for the children too

• When your child says they wish they had a dad, ask more questions — it's almost never about the dad

• Raise your child to know they are enough on their own before they look for anyone else to complete them

• You can donate a remaining embryo to another family — ask your clinic about your options

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?

The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

Eight Months from Egg Freezing to Pregnant

Ashleigh's story is one of those ones that will genuinely reassure anyone who is at the very beginning of this journey and quietly terrified about how long it might take.

She was 33 when a friend planted the seed about egg freezing. She went to an initial clinic consultation — more curious than committed — and on the same day, a colleague at work mentioned she'd just had a baby via IVF with a sperm donor. Two seeds in one day. Eight months later, Ashleigh was pregnant.

There were no complications. No failed transfers. No long waitlists. She found a donor quickly, did a fresh IVF cycle alongside her frozen eggs, got six embryos, and fell pregnant on the very first transfer. She still has five embryos in storage.

She's a Queensland primary school teacher who now works three days a week at a school ten minutes from home and daycare. She took Z to Europe for a month at nine months old with her mum. She has connected with donor-conceived siblings — one of whom lives ten minutes away. And when asked what she'd tell someone sitting on the fence, she was in tears before she could even answer.

This is a lovely, warm, uncomplicated episode. Not every story on this podcast is a long or hard one — and that matters. This is proof that sometimes it really does just work.

In this episode:

• Spending her 20s and early 30s as a dedicated primary school teacher — and how burnout shifted her thinking about what she actually wanted

• A friend's egg freezing journey planting the seed — and a colleague's announcement on the same day as her first clinic appointment

• Freezing her eggs at 33 and being pregnant by 34 — eight months from first appointment to positive transfer

• Choosing an international donor in Queensland: blue eyes, healthy profile, and deliberately not overthinking it

• A fresh IVF cycle alongside her frozen eggs — 15 eggs, 6 embryos, and a positive first transfer

• Why she chose IVF over IUI — and the donor consent consideration that drove that decision

• A straightforward pregnancy clouded only by constant nausea — teaching primary school while vomiting several times a day

• An emergency caesarean and a surprisingly smooth recovery

• The newborn phase that was easier than expected — and the 48 hours without sleep in Europe that was not

• A month in Europe at nine months — what works, what doesn't, and why nine months is probably the cut-off

• Returning to work three days a week at a school ten minutes from home and daycare

• Connecting with donor-conceived siblings through the sperm bank's Facebook community — including one family ten minutes away

• Five embryos still in storage, the question of a second child, and three flights of stairs

• What she'd do differently: building the support network before baby arrives

Key Takeaways

• The journey isn't always long — sometimes it really does move quickly, and it's worth starting sooner than you think

• You don't need to overthink donor selection — knowing your non-negotiables and keeping a clear head serves you better than analysis paralysis

• Choosing IVF over IUI when you want more than one child has practical advantages — embryos offer more protection than stored sperm alone in some circumstances

• Build your support network before baby arrives — not after you're in it and everyone around you already has children

• Returning to work part-time in a flexible, local role changes everything about the solo mum juggle

• Connecting with donor-conceived siblings is better to do on your own terms before they potentially cross paths organically

• Frozen embryos give you the luxury of time when it comes to the second child decision — you don't have to rush

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

TTC or in your first trimester?

The Expecting Solo course helps you navigate early pregnancy on your own terms — from managing symptoms and setting boundaries to finding the joy in your story. Live or on demand, from anywhere in the world. Find out more here.

Nearly half of first-time mums in Australia will have their labour induced. Most of them have no idea what that actually involves until they're in the middle of it.

This episode is here to change that.

I'm joined by Nat — Melbourne midwife, solo mum of three boys, and someone who has had three very different births of her own (including one that ended with her in ICU — more on that in her own episodes, which are linked below, but maybe save those for after you've had your baby). Nat works in a Melbourne tertiary hospital, and she's here in a personal capacity to give you a practical, informed, non-scary breakdown of what an induction actually is — and what you need to think about as a solo mum specifically.

This is not medical advice. For risks, benefits and research, Nat recommends The Great Birth Rebellion podcast — search your specific situation and you'll find the evidence base you need. What this episode gives you is the foundational knowledge to walk into those conversations with your care provider informed, confident, and asking the right questions.

Because here's what Nat — and I — both wish more women knew before they got to this point: there's a significant difference between being offered an induction because it's hospital policy, and being offered one because of your specific medical situation. Knowing which one you're in changes everything about the conversation you should be having.

In this episode:

• What an induction actually is — and the difference between induction and augmentation

• Why nearly one in three women are induced in Australia, and nearly half of first-time mums

• The two types of induction recommendation: hospital policy versus your specific medical situation — and why this distinction matters

• The BRAIN acronym — Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing — and how to use it in any appointment

• The bishop score — what it is, what it means, and what happens next depending on the result

• The gel and pessary — how they work, how long they take, and what to expect

• The balloon catheter — what it actually is, how it works, and why you can ask for gas and air

• Breaking your waters — what it involves and why it's less dramatic than it sounds by this point

• The oxytocin (syntocin) drip — how it works, why it's different from natural labour, and why Nat recommends going in with an open mind about epidurals

• CTG monitoring — what the straps are doing, what the numbers mean, and what it means when they adjust the drip

• Why an induction can take two to three days — and what that means practically for solo mums with limited support

• Birth plans, support people, doulas, private midwives, and student midwives — your real options

• How to advocate for yourself if you're being pushed in a direction you're not comfortable with

• Birth trauma — what causes it, and how being informed reduces your risk

• Postpartum doulas and private midwives — what they can do for you after baby arrives

• Setting your home up for a C-section even if you're aiming for a vaginal birth

Key Takeaways

• Ask your care provider: is this induction recommendation based on hospital policy, or on my specific medical situation? The answer should change how you respond

• Use the BRAIN acronym in every appointment — Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing

• An induction can take two to three days — plan your support accordingly, and don't assume you'll have your baby the same day

• If you're a solo mum without a support person, a doula or student midwife can be your advocate in the birth suite — and they don't count toward your support person limit

• Research epidurals before you need one — going into an induction without considering it sets you up for a harder experience

• Prepare your home for a C-section recovery even if that's not your plan — the solo mum who has meals in the freezer and grab rails in the bathroom will thank herself no matter what happens

• Birth trauma comes from not being heard, not from the type of birth — being informed is protective

• You can say stop at any point in this process. Even mid-induction. You are not obligated to continue anything without being heard

Resources Mentioned

• The Great Birth Rebellion podcast — evidence-based research on all birth scenarios

• The Positive Birth Company - bite-sized, scenario-by-scenario birth education

• The Complete Guide to Postpartum: A mother-focused companion for life after birth by Sophie Walker's postpartum book — highly recommended for solo mums preparing for the fourth trimester

• Nat's episodes on this podcast — Part 1 and Part 2 (save for after baby is here)

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?

The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.