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The Silent Why

The Silent Why

Claire Sandys

Claire Sandys is on a mission to see if it's possible to find hope in 101 different types of loss and grief (occasionally joined by husband Chris). New episodes every other Tuesday (with bonus episodes and blogs in-between sometimes). This podcast is ad-free, with childless (not by choice) hosts, packed with deep, honest experiences of grief and hope from inspiring guests. You also get: tips on how to navigate and prepare for loss, blogs, experts, exploring how loss is handled on TV, and plenty of Hermans. 
For more visit: www.thesilentwhy.com.

  • 41 minutes 35 seconds
    Loss 66/101: Loss of eyesight: Yahya Pandor

    #149. What is it like to choose hope in the dark? To face the grief of losing your sight?

    This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

    Loss #66 of 101: Loss of eyesight

    In this episode, we spoke to Yahya Pandor from Wiltshire, England, an advocate for the blind, para-athlete (runner), qualified counsellor, and World Record holder.

    Yahya lost his eyesight in 2021 at the age of 25 years old, due to a combination of Macular Degeneration and Toxoplasmosis. In just 10 months, he went from enjoying life with vision, to finding his way in a dark world.

    Yahya shared the unique challenges of being blind, what this kind of grief was like for him, what he misses most, and what sighted people probably take for granted the most.
     
    For more about Yahya, visit:
    https://www.instagram.com/yahyapandor94
    https://www.insight-counselling.org
    https://www.youtube.com/@the_blind_runner
    https://www.tiktok.com/@isapandor 

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

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    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    5 May 2026, 1:00 am
  • 19 minutes 21 seconds
    The Grief Toolshed: Telescopic Tree Pruner - find your sharp people

    #148.  How can a metaphorical telescopic tree pruner help us with grief? Let's find out.

    This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

    Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.

    In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.

    And in this episode, I’m looking at how a tree pruner (given to us by Jared Altic, in his Let’s Chat episode about being a Police Chaplain, can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.

    Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.

    Listen to Jared's full episode, Let’s Chat… Police Chaplains, here:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/79748b98/lets-chat-police-chaplains-with-jared-altic

    If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed

    If you want to hear more from Jared, he was also Loss 56 of 101, talking about dealing with loss, grief and death daily in his role as a Police Chaplain:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4b8bb873/loss-2101-loss-of-both-parents-to-dementia-katie-elliott

    Plus, he has a fantastic podcast called 'Hey, Chaplain': https://heychaplain.buzzsprout.com/

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    21 April 2026, 1:00 am
  • 24 minutes 54 seconds
    The Grief Toolshed: Swiss Army Knife - using the tools of self-awareness

    #147.  How can a metaphorical Swiss Army Knife help us with self-awareness? Let's find out.

    This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

    Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.

    In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.

    And in this episode, I’m looking at how a Swiss Army Knife (given to us by Katie Elliott, in her Let’s Chat episode about Self-Awareness), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.

    Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.

    Listen to Katie's full episode, Let’s Chat… Self-Awareness, here:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7b7d32af/lets-chat-self-awareness-with-katie-elliott

    Amiko cards and poster:
    https://www.littlechallenges.com/store 

    If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed

    If you want to hear more from Katie, she was also Loss 2 of 101, talking about the loss of both parents to dementia:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4b8bb873/loss-2101-loss-of-both-parents-to-dementia-katie-elliott

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    7 April 2026, 1:00 am
  • 21 minutes 57 seconds
    Graveyard Musings: Wolvercote, Oxford (grave of JRR Tolkien - author of The Lord of the Rings)

    #146. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them.

    So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard. And sometimes I go international (but not this one) and sometimes Chris joins me (like this one).

    Anyway, welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast).

    In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Wolvercote Cemetery in Oxford, England - because there was one very special grave there that we wanted to see... that of the author, JRR Tolkien. 

    So, come with us to hear our impromptu musings as we explore where one of the world's most famous authors is buried.

    For the photos that accompany this episode, so you can visualise what we're talking about, visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/graveyard-musings-goes-to-oxford

    If you want to hear more episodes like this, check out:

    Graveyard Musings, Tyne Cot & Ypres, Belgium: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7f63d7e9/graveyard-musings-tyne-cot-and-ypres-belgium

    Graveyard Musings, Moorslede, Belgium: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/15249654-graveyard-musings-moorslede-belgium

    Graveyard Musings: Llanfair Talhaiarn, Wales:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7e418cc4/graveyard-musings-llanfair-talhaiarn-wales

    Graveyard Musings: Gloucestershire, England (Part 1 of 3):
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/76b3f1f7/graveyard-musings-gloucestershire-england-part-1

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    24 March 2026, 2:00 am
  • 17 minutes 39 seconds
    The Grief Toolshed: Compost - it's all about balance (& worms)

    #145.  How can a metaphorical bag of compost help us get through grief? Let's find out.

    This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

    Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.

    In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.

    And in this episode, I’m looking at how a bag of compost (given to us by Dr Colleen Crary, in her Let’s Chat episode about PTSD), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.

    Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.

    Listen to Colleen’s full episode, Let’s Chat… PTSD, here:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/772c3bcd/lets-chat-ptsd-with-dr-colleen-crary

    If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    10 March 2026, 2:00 am
  • 13 minutes 47 seconds
    The Grief Toolshed: The Spade - let's dig deep into grief

    #144.  How can a metaphorical spade help us get through grief? Let's find out.

    This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

    Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.

    In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.

    And in this episode, I’m looking at how the spade (given to us by Sue Brayne, in her Let’s Chat episode about mortality), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.

    If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the intro episode I put out first:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed

    Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.

    Listen to Sue’s full episode, Let’s Chat… Mortality, here:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4c89d4f7/lets-chat-mortality-with-sue-brayne 

    If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed

    If you want to hear more from Sue, she was also Loss 1 of 101, talking about the loss of her marriage:
    https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4bbf824b/loss-1101-loss-of-a-marriage-sue-brayne

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    24 February 2026, 2:00 am
  • 14 minutes 54 seconds
    Introducing... The Grief Toolshed

    #143.  How can we make sure we have the right tools when we face grief? 

    This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

    After a short break, I’m back with a brand-new series of episodes. It’s called The Grief Toolshed.

    In this series, I’ll be revisiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.

    Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    17 February 2026, 2:00 am
  • 14 minutes 3 seconds
    New Year, New Loss, New Schedule

    #142. Well, it's finally here. Another new year.
    How are you feeling as we head into 2026?

    This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.

    New Year's aren't easy for many people, so wherever you find yourself emotionally, this short episode is here to offer you a bit of hope and encouragement for the days ahead, and remind you that you're not alone if your year hasn’t started as you hoped. 

    Plus, I share about a recent loss we've been going through, and explain why there might be a bit of a delay before the next episode is released.

    And here are the links to read, or listen to, the blogs I mention:

    Know Hope:
    https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/14113284-blog-my-why-know-hope

    We've all got triggers, but did you know you have glimmers too?:
    https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/12776245-blog-my-why-we-ve-all-got-triggers-but-did-you-know-you-have-glimmers-too 

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    6 January 2026, 2:00 am
  • 57 minutes 45 seconds
    Chris & Claire's Chatty Christmas Catch-Up 2025

    #141. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. It's not an easy time of year, and it’s been a season of both highs and lows for us too over the years. 

    This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.

    Each year, we share a Christmas episode where we check in with how we’re really feeling about the festive season, childlessness, and everything that comes with it. Some years, we’re coping well. Other years, not so much. So where are we in 2025? 

    You'll have to tune in to find out, but a sneak peek would tell you that we chat about; what it's like being back in a cold, wintery, Christmasy UK (after 8 weeks in Australia), how we're both feeling about being childless, what a visit to our local cathedral was like, and, of course, the vital importance of Christmas food.

    If you’d like to explore our previous Christmas episodes and blogs (as mentioned in the episode, plus more), you’ll find them all here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/christmas

    Our past Christmas episodes range from 'Chris' Loss of Christmas Spirit' (2021), to feeling hopeful and joyful (2024) and everything in between, plus, there's bucket loads of tips for gently rebuilding hope if the season feels a bit heavy this year.

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    23 December 2025, 2:00 am
  • 1 hour 24 minutes
    Australia Update 2: Time flies. And more flies.

    #140. How's our big trip 'Down Under' going? This is where you find out. Again.

    Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast with a mission to open-up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. But right now, things are a little different!

    Take a listen to the previous episode to get a better idea what this one is going to be all about. 

    We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time in Singapore and Australia. In this episode, we update you on our trip up the coast of Western Australia.

    This episode includes what's surprised, shocked and delighted us about the Aussie people, what wildlife we've seen (and held! 😉), what it's like to visit some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and... flies!!

    Plus, you know we love to share the deep stuff too, so we also chat about how our expectations of this holiday have had to change, how being childless has affected us while away, and thoughts about the podcast in general and who it's really for.

    Check out our Facebook and Instagram to see the cool kangaroo video we chat about. 

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    2 December 2025, 3:00 pm
  • 49 minutes 24 seconds
    Australia Update 1: Distracted by kookaburras

    #139. How's our big trip going so far? This is where you find out.

    Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast on a mission to open up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss - but right now, things are a little different!

    If you've heard the previous episode, you'll have a good idea what this one is going to be all about. 

    We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time down under. In this episode, we update you on our trip so far via Singapore to Western Australia.

    And since recording (just a few hours ago), we've already remembered plenty of things we forgot to mention; like how warm the sea was in Singapore, the unexpectedly delicious ice cream sandwiches (thanks Mel!), the luge rides, the different Maltesers, and the glorious abundance of Earl Grey tea over here. 

    No doubt those stories, and many more, will make their way into a future episode. 

    So far we've seen and experienced some amazing things, but we've also had some disappointments, and you know us - we love to share it all with you, so tune in, and join us.

    Plus, for videos of the kookaburra and bobtail lizard we mention, find us on social media.

    Send us Fan Mail

    Support the show

    -----

    thesilentwhy.com  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn

    What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

    Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

    Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

    How to talk to the grieving:  thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

    Review the show: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Goodpods

    Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

    Thank you for listening.

    10 November 2025, 2:00 am
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