Hosted by Tyler Measom and Liz Iacuzzi, Was I In A Cult? is a documentary-style podcast showcasing individuals who have been in, and most importantly, successfully left a cult. Told first-hand by the experiencer themself, these are...
Michelle Dowd was born into a cult that was literally training boys to fight in God’s army when the apocalypse came.
It started in sunny Pasadena, California when her grandfather - a former Boy Scout leader - decided the Scouts weren’t strict enough and built his own organization. Boys were recruited young, drilled like soldiers, and raised to believe they were preparing for the end of the world.
Michelle grew up inside the group known as “The Field,” running miles before breakfast, enduring military-style obedience drills, selling candy to fund the movement, and eventually living for years on a remote mountain with basically no formal education.
What eventually happened is almost unbelievable: a secret college application, a full scholarship, and a cult survivor with no formal education… to becoming a professor teaching critical thinking.
Michelle Dowd is now a writer and the author of Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult.
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MICHELLE DOWD LINKS → Instagram @michelledowdz |
Subscribe to Michelle's FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
Listen to Michelle's book "Forager" on SPOTIFY FOR FREE
Pick up a copy of Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult"
Michelle’s NYT Modern Love essay: “Love in a Time of Low Expectations”
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Tyler’s mascot book mention: Where Are the Fighting Giraffes? by David Winder
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Star Stone walked into a fluorescent-lit room on Market Street in San Francisco where a man who looked like Mark Zuckerberg stroked a woman's clitoris in business casual while thirty people watched. "This is it. This is what I need," she thought. It wasn't.
See, Star didn't join a cult (newsflash, no one does). She joined a sex-positive, orgasm-as-spiritual-practice kind of movement founded by a woman, for women. It was called OneTaste. It promised female empowerment. But what it delivered was sexual trauma. Thanks, Nicole Daedone!
Star Stone shares her story with the kind of honesty and dark humor that made us fall in love with her immediately. This isn't trauma porn - this is what happens when groups take your desire for connection, belonging, and sexual empowerment and weaponize it.
Star was a joy to have on the show. Be sure to check out her solo comedy show, "Cl*t Cult," premiering this April at New York Fringe. And don't worry... she promised to come back and tell us everything that happened at "the Land" after her show premieres.
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GET TICKETS TO CL*T CULT April 2–10 at the Wild Project, East Village, NYC
FOLLOW STAR For more from Star → Instagram @starstonespeaks |
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In Part 1, David Archuleta was the church's golden boy - the voice, the fame, the perfect Mormon billboard. In Part 2, that billboard comes down.
David goes on a two-year Mormon mission to Chile post fame, confronts the darkest chapter of his life, and finally faces the one thing he spent decades praying would go away. Tyler gets personal about his own loss. And David sings for us again.
DAVID'S NEW MEMOIR DEVOUT is now available.
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GET THE BOOK DEVOUT by David Archuleta - available everywhere books are sold. Audiobook includes a bonus EP of original songs. (Squeal!)
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If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988. The Trevor Project is available 24/7 at thetrevorproject.org/get-help or text START to 678-678.
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David Archuleta was seventeen years old, Mormon to his core, and singing in front of thirty million people on American Idol. America saw the golden boy - the angel voice, the humble smile, the kid who made grown adults cry on national television. What they didn't see was the father who controlled every note, every decision, every version of David he was allowed to be. "I basically was his puppet."
Behind the fame was the sweetest kid grappling with his own sexuality because his church told him who he was allowed to love, and who he wanted to love wasn't on their yes list. David believed that if he just prayed hard enough, God would "fix" the one thing about himself he'd been taught to hate. Spoiler: God had other plans.
Today is Part 1 of his story... it wrecked us in the best way.
Part 2 is available NOW exclusively for PATREON members.
DAVID'S NEW MEMOIR DEVOUT is now available.
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When you're numbered among the Lord's anointed, you're supposed to feel special, but for Jeremy Tucker, he was just another mindless cog in the machine of the Kingdom of God. It didn't matter though, he would work hard to do his part, until that hard work nearly cost him his life...
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From guest producer Lindsay Hansen Park.
https://www.yearofpolygamy.com/
https://sunstone.org/sunstone-history-podcast/
https://www.tiktok.com/@lindsayhansenpark?lang=en
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Her stepfather told her: "Your child will be a fourth generation Scientologist whether you like it or not." That was the threat. This is the fight.
In Part 2, Liz Gale tells us what happened to her brother - and what finally made her walk away from everything. Her family. Her inheritance. Land her ancestors homesteaded on the Oregon Trail. All of it. Gone. Because she finally said… Oh, hell no. You got me, but you don’t get my kids.
This episode is a warning. Scientology is still ever-present. They're in your kids' schools. They're hiding behind interfaith councils and "study technology." And the biggest thing standing in their way? Apparently mothers who trust their intuition. Mama bears, this one's for you.
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Find Liz on TikTok → @liz_liz_gale_gale & Instagram. Her book Confessions of an Ex-Scientologist Pothead is available now.
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This week we're back on Scientology. And until they stop destroying families and draining bank accounts, we'll keep talking about it.
Liz Gale, a third generation ex-Scientologist and author of Confessions of an Ex-Scientologist Pothead, grew up privileged in the church in the 80s and 90s - Scientology royalty, some could say, connected to the Miscavige family, boarding schools, the works. But privilege doesn't protect you when the doctrine teaches your mother that loving you too much is dangerous. That comforting you when you're hurt will damage your soul. That sending you away at eight years old is the most maternal thing she can do to protect you from traumatizing you more. This is a story about what happens when a "religion" crawls between a mother and her child and severs the most primal bond we have.
Liz is funny as hell. She's also been through hell. And she's not done talking.
This is Part 1 of 2. Listen, then call your kids and tell them you love them.
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Find Liz on TikTok → @liz_liz_gale_gale & Instagram. Her book Confessions of an Ex-Scientologist Pothead is available now.
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So… remember that acting class? Well, turns out this “human behavior expert” has her eyes on a much larger prize. I mean, you can’t be the next Tony Robbins while just teaching scene analysis.
In Part 2 of Liz’s story, Sandy’s world shifts into trying to become what it’s been after all along: a spiritual self-help empire. Except this one is built on word salad, public humiliation, and the slow, steady squeeze of control. (Spoiler: Her goal never "manifested")
In this shift, the class expands beyond Los Angeles… all the way across the world to India. Because when you’re in a class to learn scene analysis, the obvious next step is a spiritual retreat.
The language changes. The pressure shifts. And suddenly, “transformation” comes with a hefty price tag. A world where boundary crossing is reframed as growth and the cost of admission is total and complete loyalty. And if you can’t afford it? No worries. Just sell your car. One student did.
And if you learn nothing else - as Liz would tell you, when someone slaps you in India, kick ’em in the cooch.
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Either Liz finally stepped up to the mic to tell her own story… or Tyler finally cornered her and hit record. Either way — it’s happening.
After moving to Los Angeles with a toxic boyfriend, Liz leaves behind the Chicago comedy scene and finds herself nudged into a Hollywood acting class — one he introduces her to via a “free” class that’s anything but. What starts as a supposedly legit acting class quickly earns a reputation as “the place where comedy goes to die.” And yet… it’s somehow worse than that.
Because this “class” slowly morphs into a spiritual self-help cult.
Yes. An acting class cult.
No, she did not see it coming.
And neither will you.
In Part 1 of Liz’s story, we dive into how this Chicagoan accidentally wandered into the hollyweirdest chapter of her life.
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Four years after we first met her in our studio - just days after her victim impact statement in Alison Mack’s NXIVM trial - Jessica Joan is back.
Since we last spoke, Jessica shared her story on the Hulu docuseries “How I Escaped My Cult”, and a lot has shifted: in her healing, in what “justice” means, and in what accountability actually looks like over time.
This follow-up conversation was prompted by our recent interview with journalist Natalie Robehmed, host of the podcast “Alison After NXIVM”, where listeners hear Alison speak publicly about NXIVM and her life post-prison. After that episode, it felt important to come back to Jessica - to hear directly from someone harmed by Alison, and to explore the messy questions of empathy, forgiveness, and what we’re really asking for when we say we want “accountability.”
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FIND JESSICA
Get your copy of The Untouchable: Jessica Joan & the Downfall of NXIVM
Check out her new website: www.thisisjessicajoan.com
Instagram/TikTok: @thesirenandthesunflower
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**NOTE: This episode originally aired in 2021**
Welcome to the worst cult ever (in our humble opinions). This is a story of incredible resilience, bravery, and inspiration. Being born into a cult always comes with its challenges, but learning how to have an original thought in your mid-20s is a rare struggle that most people are fortunate enough to never have to face. This is just one of many obstacles Angel had to overcome as she ventured out of the cult and into the world.But when you've spent over 20 years of your life in a cult and it's all you know, the real world isn't always as sparkly as you hoped.
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FIND ANGEL
Instagram: @whatisangeldoing
Youtube: @AngelDeSantis
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