🚀 From Google Podcasts to Moon FM in No Time: Your Hassle-Free Migration Guide
👉

Brain Cigar

Writers Peter Baynham (Borat, I’m Alan Partridge, Brass Eye, The Day Today, Arthur Christmas) and Jeremy (Jez) Simmonds (Number One in Heaven, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Up Late, Crash!) discuss world events, TV shows, movies, music, books and products that they remember very clearly, even if you don’t. All this whilst caring for deceased Archbishop of Canterbury Robert Runcie and unwillingly broadcasting John ‘Throat’ Church’s autobiography The Architecture of Bacon. Please try to understand. Brain Cigar is an Ambulenz Podcast produced by Francis Jones. Creators’ note: Since the first six episodes of Brain Cigar were lost in a tragic server crash that also claimed the first 38 instalments of H from Steps' Guide to Affordable Laptops, the podcast currently begins at Episode 7. We apologise for any inconvenience.

  • 1 hour 12 minutes
    7: Cigaro del Chreestmas!!
    Brain Cigar's rampant little elves (okay, Pete and Jez) have rummaged through a stocking full of festive goodness to dish up a bumper Christmas pud-cast generously-stuffed with plum content, sage thoughts and no shortage of old chestnuts. And a gull. Sewn into Peter's guts. (Some assembly required.) An Ambulenz production, featuring Julia Davis and Robert Chase. Produced by Francis Jones.
    24 December 2021, 6:00 am
  • 30 minutes 6 seconds
    6. You Can Have the Full Works with Archie the Skeleton from the Scotch Videotape Ads
    In this final podcast of the series, Pete recounts his wife's visit to a Romanian theme park dedicated to the delights of TV sitcom Birds of a Feather, while a vengeful Welsh funeral critic uses the slot to hurl abuse at his former lover. The return of Jez's Audience-Heat-Seeking Robot spells trouble for Pete and his Irish terrier Chara... Featuring Maggie Rowe and Robert Chase.
    14 July 2021, 5:14 am
  • 22 minutes 9 seconds
    5. Never Forget: The Terrible Events of the 18th of August
    Peter and Jez pay respectful tribute on this most traumatic of days while remembering a BBC cartoon series starring Slash from Guns n' Roses as a dog. A brash New York funeral reviewer rubs Peter up the wrong way. Jez tells the freakish tale of how Naturally-Occurring Music entered our lives and nearly killed an airline passenger… Featuring Julia Davis.
    7 July 2021, 5:00 am
  • 22 minutes 40 seconds
    4. Pelting Frank Bough with some Bakewell tarts
    Jez tells the harrowing tale of when Jack Nicholson called Action Man “a little bitch” on live children’s TV; a guest reveals that she’s pledged to pay for cripplingly expensive treatment of her sister’s eye disorder with money raised from ‘new inventions’ such as contactless payment and an automated cat feeder; Peter and Jez discuss their shared babysitting arrangements for a long-deceased Archbishop of Canterbury. With Julia Davis and Robert Chase.
    30 June 2021, 5:00 am
  • 23 minutes 38 seconds
    3. The Anatomy and Bodily Functions of Thomas the Tank Engine (and Friends)
    Jez gets terrible news about the first six Brain Cigar episodes;  a restaurateur offers discounts to anyone he's poisoned - if this can be proven via his horrifying in-kitchen laboratory; and Peter is appalled at Reverend Audrey’s long-forgotten ‘Thomas’ medical manual, detailing the lovable locomotive’s digestive organs and a cross-section of his uterus containing a train foetus... Featuring Robert Chase.
    23 June 2021, 5:00 am
  • 26 minutes 17 seconds
    2. Animals are counted as listeners
    Peter speaks movingly of his two young daughters’ trauma after being left alone overnight thanks to supposedly ‘caring’ U2 singer Bono’s failure to babysit. Jez unveils a device for assessing podcast audience size by tracking heat sources – an innovation that seems to include animals, radiators and pans of soup in its demographic. Plus an exclusive interview with Scottish music legend Sheena Easton that has to be dramatically curtailed… Featuring Robert Chase.
    16 June 2021, 5:00 am
  • 24 minutes 40 seconds
    1. Shan’t be leaving
    A guest fighting loneliness in the elderly behaves appallingly, Peter takes a pill that renders dog-walking a thing of the past, and Jez reminisces about David Bowie’s early nineties range of microwaveable frozen meals. Meanwhile, resentment grows at having to include excerpts from John ‘Throat’ Church’s autobiography The Architecture of Bacon...  Featuring Julia Davis and Robert Chase.
    9 June 2021, 5:30 am
  • 4 minutes 27 seconds
    Trailer
    30 May 2021, 6:52 am
  • More Episodes? Get the App
About Brain Cigar
Links
© MoonFM 2024. All rights reserved.