The Bad Movies Rule! crew dives into the gloriously ridiculous 1993 cult flop Surf Ninjas. James, Brian, Ryan, and first-timer Rachel roast Rob Schneider’s suspiciously adult high schooler, Leslie Nielsen’s bumbling cyborg colonel, magic Sega Game Gears, moto-surfing with oars, exploding houses, and one very determined elephant. Expect maximum Kwantsu Dudes chaos and the eternal debate: bad movie that rules… or just plain bad?

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Welcome back to another Mailbag episode of Bad Movies Rule! This week, the BMRmy brings the heat—literally. Mueller steps in as a guest, while Ryan makes the fatal mistake of eating a 9 million Scoville Nitro Gummy Bear right out of the gate . In between Ryan’s escalating internal agony, the guys take a somber moment to process the recent passing of an absolute legend: Chuck Norris .

Episode Highlights:

• The Nitro Challenge: Ryan suffers through the entire episode after consuming a "Little Nitro" gummy bear sent in by a listener . We check in on his melting insides regularly .

• RIP Chuck Norris: Multiple callers write in to mourn the loss of the iconic martial artist and actor . The crew discusses his legendary status, his reputation as a genuinely good guy, and teases an upcoming tribute episode .

• Wild Celebrity Encounters: Listeners share amazing stories about running into Jesse Ventura at a San Diego tattoo shop and Marshawn Lynch dropping hundreds at a Buffalo strip club .

• Unboxing the Mail: The guys receive a mysterious mini Transformers poster in a tube and some authentic Canadian maple syrup from British Columbia .

• Cinema Debates & Movie "Dicks": The mailbag sparks hilarious conversations about the best characters named "Dick" in cinema history, debates over messy Transformers CGI, and whether the T-Rex or Triceratops is the superior dinosaur .

  
  

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Attention, BMRmy! This week on Bad Movies Rule, we're trading dry land for the rusted-out hull of a diesel sub as we dive into the 1996 naval comedy, Down Periscope. The crew—along with special guest Mel from the kids' table—breaks down all the nautical nonsense and submarine tropes we can handle.

Episode Highlights:

• A Questionable Command: We discuss Kelsey Grammer's pirate-like tactics, his clash with Admiral Graham (Bruce Dern), and the ongoing debate surrounding his infamous tattoo.

• Maximum Intensity: We debate Rob Schneider's performance as the wannabe-hardass XO, Pascal, and whether he dialed his intensity up to an 11 or if he was just in a completely different movie.

  
  

• Musical Whales: Uncovering the shocking (and highly scientific) revelation that whales might actually just be huge fans of Kenny G.

• The Ultimate Defense Strategy: Chuck pitches his completely foolproof, 12-star-admiral plan to catch enemy submarines using a massive trans-Atlantic net.

Plus, we dive into our weekly honors, battling it out over who takes home the Will Patton Award for Intensity , the Trash Can Full of Dirt Award , the One Scene Wonder , and the prestigious Steve James Award for Best Supporting Actor. Grab your hot mops and duct tape, because it's time to kick this pig and leave 'em squealing from the feeling!

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The BMR crew read and react to fan mail from around the world—including recommendations for John Carpenter horror films (Prince of Darkness, In the Mouth of Madness) and GMR picks (The Full Monty, Room, Requiem for a Dream), a heartfelt note from a Finnish listener asking about host Ryan's family heritage tied to "Mattila/Matala," praise for their Death Warrant episode, wrestling Mount Rushmore debates (Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Undertaker, and more), celebrity encounter stories (like spotting Ryan Reynolds), opinions on Rob Zombie's directing style, divorce reflections tied to movie memories (Con Air as a honeymoon film), and a wild voicemail showdown involving "Lord V" drama and an over-the-top scream story about Robin Williams.

The hosts also take a deep dive into Google Street View comparing Leeds, Alabama (complete with the infamous "Pants Store," one-story buildings, junkyards, and quirky local spots) versus Leeds, UK—declaring the UK version the clear winner. They discuss listener-submitted song ideas for the show, share laughs over voicemails (including one that could have been a hit if submitted earlier).

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Bad Movies Rule! dives headfirst into Michael Bay’s 2007 Transformers with hosts James, Stephanie, plus Dave and Ryan. The crew goes scene-by-scene through the Allspark hunt, messy robot transformations, military explosions, Shia LaBeouf’s anxious energy, and the legendary Megan Fox Camaro moment. They roast the over-the-top CGI fights, celebrate Bernie Mac’s car-lot hustle, riff on Bumblebee’s radio playlist, and debate whether this is a “bad movie that rules” or just a straight-up good popcorn blockbuster. Expect nostalgia, hot takes, family banter, and the usual awards chaos—because even giant robots can’t escape the podcast’s loving roast.

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The Bad Movies Rule! crew goes fancy for this mailbag with Clint Busch and special in-studio guest Katie Busch (yes, the one who sets the Katie test standard). Physical mail finally floods in: killer posters (Rollerboys, Tommy Boy, Hands of Steel), a NES game, bizarre DVDs, and the most dangerous candy drop yet—Little Nitro world’s hottest gummy bears that immediately torch Clint’s mouth while everyone else watches in horror. Listeners recommend Bigfoot Hitler Sam Elliott, KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park, Year One (which nobody likes), Mortal Kombat Annihilation, Howard the Duck (already done), and Son of the Mask. Epic listener stories include a childhood airport encounter with Andre the Giant courtesy of a chiropractor dad who treated pro wrestlers, plus the usual chaos: fake city tours of Thousand Oaks, CA, R.L. Stine’s Pumpkinhead roast, Arnold legacy sequel hype, depression shout-outs, and one very long email that gets partially skipped. Hot candy trauma, poster hauls, and family-approved vibes—classic BMR mailbag energy.

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The Bad Movies Rule! crew—James, Chuck, Dave, and Joe—rips through Jean-Claude Van Damme’s 1990 prison thriller Death Warrant scene by scene. Van Damme stars as undercover cop Burke sent into a chaotic lockup to investigate mysterious inmate deaths tied to a secret organ-harvesting ring run by guards and the terrifying Sandman. The episode is packed with roasts of the shaky fight choreography (including the infamous wrench beatdown and fire deaths), massive plot holes, awkward romance with Amanda, questionable prison “realism,” and Van Damme’s signature shirtless flexing. Tangents explode on banana bread, “I’ll be back” thugs, inmate brothels, peanut-shell etiquette, and whether Burke actually saves anyone. They hand out awards, read patron takes, and debate if this is a bad movie straight up or something more ridiculous.

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This is an extended sample from our spin-off Patreon show Trashterpiece Theater, which covers movies rated at 3.5 and under on IMDb.

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Mueller hosts, and is joined by Curt, Joe & Farrell, as they recap the movie about a killer Sasquatch and a native hunter with phantom arrows? I'm not really sure, I watched it in five times speed, but these guys will give you the low down.

Suburban Sasquatch stars Sue Lynn Sanchez, Bill Ushler, Dave Bonavita, and Juan Fernandez.

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The Bad Movies Rule! crew is back for a wild mailbag with zero physical letters (thanks Ryan), a room full of beaver nugget spray, and Kurt officially crowned everyone’s favorite host. Listeners weigh in on the mailbag song lyrics (“I was stoned by a Christmas tree” gets multiple theories), Bob accidentally saves a dog’s life with his terrible opinions, a son drives to the wrong Burlington, Ricky from Oklahoma confesses to paying a Sloth-lookalike kid to scream “BEES!” at old ladies, and Kyle shares his epic Bill Goldberg weigh-in photo story. Plus: a Japanese voicemail nobody can understand, an attempted mailbag theme song that ends with “toys in my ass,” an F Mary Kill with three Jennifers, airport celebrity sightings, and RJ begging the guys to stop chewing into the mics. Pure chaos, zero filter, and exactly why we do mailbags.

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This episode we follow grieving dad Ed Harley (Lance Henriksen) as he digs up an ancient revenge demon to punish the dirt-biking idiots who accidentally killed his young son — complete with killer practical effects, swamp-witch rituals, and atmospheric lightning-streaked kills. What begins as a horror breakdown quickly derails into legendary tangents about cornfield nightmares, mono-cropping ethics, whether Joel belongs in jail for vehicular kid manslaughter, and exactly how Wisconsin handles edibles (spoiler: rectally, off the backs of cows). They hand out awards, read patron reviews, and ultimately debate if this atmospheric creature feature is a hidden gem or just a gloriously “bad movie that rules.” One of the funniest, most unhinged episodes yet.

Hosts: James Hauser, Bob Hauser, Grace Wire, Ryan Mattila

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This is an extended sample from our full 2+ hour discussion on X-MEN, and Hugh Jackman's first outing as Wolverine. Want the whole thing? Click the link below to become a Patreon supporter!

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Dave, Curt & James recap the first X-men movie ever and try to determine if the last 25 years have helped or hurt this movie. As big fans of the franchise, there were some missteps, but overall did the movie do more good than bad?

X-Men stars Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, Halle Berry, James Mardsen and Famke Jansen.

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