Oh, you've listened to this episode already and you'd like to cross our palm with gold?

Well, you're in luck.... Simply click HERE to show your appreciation in a pecuniary fashion

And speaking of fashion - take a look at our merch HERE

and THANK YOU!

Now... onto the less grubby business of writing...

and this week we're lucky enough to be joined by the excellent Gareth Rubin, a writer whose career caught our eye recently from, of all things, an article about pensions!

What do writers do about pensions when your income is so unpredictable?

Well... that introduced us to Gareth... who it turns out isn't just interesting about pensions!

No, seriously. I know that seems crazy, but it's true.

He's written some books that are right up our street. Books within books within books within books, tête-bêches, an officially estate-sanctioned Sherlock Holmes book, a choose your own adventure-type murder mystery! OK... now you can see why we had to talk to him.

Check out Gareth's website:

https://www.garethrubin.com/

Buy Gareth's books here:

https://www.simonandschuster.co.uk/authors/Gareth-Rubin/188678671

But that's not bloody all. Of course not!

Because our HYPEWRITER feature is BACK.

and this week we're celebrating the rather splendid Simon John Parkin.

Support a fellow writer by buying his excellent book of short stories (all 999 words!)

HERE’S Simon’s info - and he’s @sparkin.lit on instagram - That's a follow!

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Heeeey!

You’re back.

Well, that’s bloody joyful isn’t it?

Nice of you to join us again.

Now, let me ask you an impertinent question.

How seriously are you taking your writing this year?

The reason I ask is we’re looking at writing goals.  Last year’s first of all… see how we got on… and then… we’re all making new ones.  Yeah. You too.

Come join us in stating your targets and let’s keep each other accountable.

Send your writing goals to [email protected] and we’ll send you a little reminder of what they were at the end of the year, (plus an email of encouragement about halfway to keep you on track!)

Also don’t forget, if you’ve written something you’re proud of, share it with us!

Send roughly 1000 words to us, (either in a doc, or as a sound file) and we’ll celebrate your beautiful wordage on our regular feature HYPEWRITER.

Could be the start of your latest brilliant novel. Could be some flash you smashed. Could be a poem you wrote. Maybe some lyrics for the greatest song noone’s ever heard of, or could be a letter you wrote your ex-partner explaining why they need to stop calling you when they get drunk.

And a big shout out to www.paragraphplanet.com - you really should think about send them your finest 75 word flash fiction musings!!

Right. That’s the important stuff dealt with.  Now sit back and as Tom and Jon reveal how they got on with their targets last year!...

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Not long until we get this show back on the road!! Join us for season 6 when we interview some amazing writers, get stuck into some proper writing craft bits and bobs, and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads more beside!!

Season 6 of the award-winning Failing Writers Podcast... coming sooooooon!!!!!

(Oh, and while you're here, check out our new merch store right here... https://the-failing-writers-podcast.teemill.com/)

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How do you give your readers everything they're looking for?

And your agent? You have to feed the beast don't you? (Is calling agents 'The Beast' too offensive?)

It's your job as a writer to offer up precisely what your readership is looking for. Anything else and you risk losing your commercial edge.

And we can't have that can we?

Oh we can?

Oh... OK.

We met up with the wonderful Doug Johnstone, to hear how he refuses to be pigeoned-holed, writes what he likes, and just so happens to say what he like too - and yes, by that, I mean he swears quite a lot.

Some great advice in this chat about the importance of loving what you write and worrying about it later. Plus lots of other entertaining advice too. Get it into your ear'oles now!

And a big THANKS to Scrivener for sponsoring this season of the podcast!

THANK YOU SCRIVENER!

If you haven't tried Scrivener, you can sample their lovely wares for free for 30 days.

OR you could just blummin well take our advice and buy a copy! and using our special code you can get 20% off!

I know. Mental.

You're welcome.

Just go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/ and use the code failing.

Right. That's the Christmas presents sorted. Have a great festive celebration, happy new year and see you on the other side for Season 6!

Buy Doug's books

https://orendabooks.co.uk/authors/doug-johnstone

More Doug:

https://dougjohnstone.com/

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The second stop on our literary whistle stop tour of Edinburgh is The Writers Museum in Makars Court.

Focussing on the three writers generally considered to be the great Titans of Scottish Literature: Robbie Burns, Sir Walter Scott & Robert Louis Stevenson.

We have a wander round, read some poetry and look into why these fellas are so revered.

We also go on a literary pub tour and have a chat with actor Mike Daviot, who just so happened to be an absolute font of knowledge about poetry and the Scots language.

Turns out literary pub tours are one of our favourite kinds of tour! Now who could have guessed that?!

So hop on board the Failing Writers Tour Bus and join us for a fascinating, if admittedly wholly inadequate look at three of the greatest writers, not just of Scotland, but the world.

The Writer's Museum:

https://cultureedinburgh.com/our-venues/writers-museum

The Literary Pub Tour we enjoyed:

https://www.edinburghliterarypubtour.co.uk/

Tam o' Shanter:

http://www.robertburns.org.uk/Assets/Poems_Songs/tamoshanter.htm

Hopefully that's inspired you to take a closer look at the poems and novels of these absolute titans. More than that, maybe it's encouraged you to have a go yourself.

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Ahoy there, you weary word-wanderer. You found us. Finally!  Thank goodness.

Welcome to the Failing Writers Podcast. Think of us as your writing harbour.

Your safe haven.

Your Lighthouse.

Come and moor here for a while and have your brain de-barnacled by the glorious mind of poet Michael Pederson.

Writer, linguaphile, Edinburgh Makar and all-round inspirational wordsmitherizer.

And once you’ve been inspired… time to get involved and write something wonderful yourself.

But hang on… before you do… you might want to consider the fantastic writing software Scrivener? An app that makes writing novels, plays, screenplays, poetry and all the other stuff soooo much easier.

Plus we’ve got a special code you can use at https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener to get yourself a majestic 20% off. Our little gift to you for being awesome.

FAILING

(That’s the code btw, I’m not just shouting FAILING! at you.  That would be mean)

And now you’ve listened to Michael, I’ll bet you want all his essential info?...

Yep. Thought so.

Insta:  @michaelpedersonoyster

Go see Michael live:

https://www.michaelpedersen.co.uk/events

Buy Muckle Flugga:

https://linktr.ee/muckleflugga

Buy Boy Friends:

https://linktr.ee/boyfriendsbook

Other stuff:

https://www.michaelpedersen.co.uk

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Hello writers. Just when you thought the competition was all wrapped up… this week we look at the almost-winners of our big annual comp.

Yep, these are the brilliant writers who made the shortlist, but didn’t quite manage to snaffle a place on Sarah’s podium.

And here are those five wondrously wizard-like word weavers:

Kieran Ahern

Jonathon Davies

Steven Stilbech

Stuart James Taylor

Jasmine Sears

Well done to them all, and keep an eye out for them in future!

All we need do now I think, is thank our beaaauuutiful sponsor Scrivener, without whom there would be no competition frankly. Or there would, but the prize would be a bag of chips, a pack of Dairylea Triangles and some post-it notes.  So… you know…

Thank you very much Scrivener!

Who, aside from being a bunch of lovely people, also happens to be a really fantastic bit of writing software which you can secure for 20% less than the usual price, simply by using the code FAILING at checkout

Just go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com

Finally a massive well done to all of you who wrote one or more stories.

You’re all winners in our book.

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Lovers of flash fiction… prepare to have your ears blown into absolute blummin smithereens, because this episode is the big reveal of the winners of our annual writing competition, and there’s FIVE HUNDRED SQUIDS up for grabs. Which, as I’m sure you’ll agree, is a serious amount of squids.

Think of all the ink you could buy.

So, come on in, and hear the traditional ‘YOU’RE ALL WINNERS SONG’, listen to Sarah Lewis from Writers HQ pick a winner, some runner-uppers and a couple of honourable mentions to boot and then follow that up by immersing yourself in the unbelievably high quality of 1st, 2nd & 3rd place.

But before you do all that…  just think.  One of them could be yours!

There’s only one way to find out though, and I’m not daft enough to give the game away and write them here in the show notes…  so you’d best get listening instead.

Big thanks again to Sarah and the excellent Writers HQ:

https://writershq.co.uk

Also a massive thanks to our amazing competition sponsor - the esteemed writing app, Scrivener!

Don't forget to pick up your copy NOW. Go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/ - use the code failing & you can get 20% off! Whoop. Get in! Early Christmas present to yourself.

And finally... huge congratulations to our winner.

Whoever that might be.

And don’t forget to join us next week, when we’ll be hearing more First Class, A-Grade, Top Shelf….  Flash Gorge-uns.

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So, here we are again for the actually now offically award winning Failing Writers Podcast.

You were perhaps hoping this was the competition reveal episode weren’t you?

Well, look, it’s not that one… not yet, however, we’ve got a little treat for you today. ’Specially for long time fans of the podcast.

Someone we’ve had on before and was a delight from start to finish.

Someone who's just self published a book, and has come to talk to us all about their experiences of putting a book out into the world, all on their own*

Anyway, I won’t say any more in case I ruin the surprise, but you should definitely have a listen.

What I will say though, is that our mystery guest is also a genuine fan of Scrivener.

And if you’d like to join the thousands of people who swear by the wonderful writing app Scrivener, why not go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener

and download it now!

It’s currently only £55 - which is already a bargain, BUT if you’d like 20% off on us - simply use the code failing at checkout and it will only cost you… wait… quick bit of arithmetic… erm… roughly… wait… is it £44?

I think so!

So that’s blummin great innit?

Anyway… if you like the sound of our guest’s book… you can purchase it right here: https://amzn.eu/d/eKujSNA

Please do support the indie book world! It makes a helluva difference to your fellow writers, as I’m sure you know.

*OK, maybe not entirely on their own.

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Maps? What's that got to do with writing?

Men? How are they relevant in 2025? Oh no… wait … Er.

OK... let me explain what’s going on today... by introducing you

to (another) 2 handsome and charismatic young men.

Jay Foreman – comedian, singer songwriter (bloody great songs-look em up!) & Map-enthusiast.

And Mark Cooper-Jones – Ex-geography teacher, producer & comedian. Both… now… primarily You-Tubers.  (Ha! because that’s a real job.)

Together, they are… Map Men.  An absolutely genius bit of infotainment, which I’m willing to bet my last rolo, that you will love:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfxy4_sBQdxy3A2lvl-y3qWTeJEbC_QCp

Tell me I’m wrong! I dare you!

But, right… and here’s the important bit….  they’ve written a book! A brilliant book, which like their show is both brain-engorging and extremely funny.

Here’s a link to purchase several copies for yourself, your family & friends: 

https://lnk.to/mapmen

And while we’re on the subject of books. Have you ever tried writing one?

It’s bloody difficult isn’t it?

Yeah. Seriously.  Who knew?

So may I be so bold as to recommend that you try using Scrivener. It has more features than you’ll ever need! However that does mean that if you do need one, Scrivener has got it!

It just makes writing easier.  Not just for books either, but also for plays and screenplays and radio plays and non-fiction and stuff.

PLUS – if you go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener

You can make 20% of the price of Scrivener completely disappear by using the magic word “failing” at checkout. (You could even simultaneously imagine that you’re a flamboyant 80s stage magician with a white tiger and an open collared shirt while you do it, if that’s the kind of thing you enjoy doing.)

And then – our HYPEWRITER feature! Where you send us something you’ve written that you’re proud of and then we go and celebrate the living babaganoosh out of it.

(If you’d like to join in, just send a bit of writing - roughly 5 – 8 mins-worth - to [email protected] – explain what it is, why you wrote it and a bit about yourself and you could feature on the pod!)

This week we introduce the extraordinarily talented Aaron J Courts, who sent us a lovely piece called Pass & Review.

You can find out more about Aaron here:

https://aaroncourts.substack.com

And behold. The shownotes are done for another episode.

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You know those writers who seem to have managed effortlessly to harness the awesome power of social media to hook increasing numbers of readers into their gravitational pull?

Well good for them!

No but seriously, wouldn’t it be fascinating to talk to someone who’s become an actual viral sensation themselves and find out what their strategy was?

(That’s your cue to stop reading and crack on with listening to this episode btw.)

BUT WAIT, THESE CAPITAL LETTERS STOPPED YOU IN YOUR TRACKS DIDN’T THEY?

Well that’s good, because now I can tell you all about our sponsor, the indispensable writing app: Scrivener!

The writing app that you can get 20% off! by going to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener and using the code: failing

(I promise you won’t regret it.)

So there you go. How to blow up on TikTok? A chat with a lovely writer? Some great advice about not reading reviews?  A discount of some amazing writing software? What more could you want?

Ah you want to know how to get your hands on a copy of Autumn’s excellent romance novel?

OK. Fair enough. Should have seen that coming.

Just click on this link…

https://www.authorautumnwoods.com

What? You still want more?  Wow… you’re in quite a demanding mood today aren’t you?

Well… you’re in luck, m’friend.  Cos this week in our regular Hype-Writer feature we’ve got a darkly disturbing but excellent little extract from last year’s flash fiction competition winner, Katie Holloway!

She’s promised to post more of Cups of Tea at the End of the World on her substack – so keep your eyes peeled here:

https://substack.com/@loseyourselfbooks

Right. Ya happy now?

Phew.

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