Three Bean Salad

Three Bean Salad

A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.

  • 1 hour 35 seconds
    Sharks
    Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this week’s topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the bean a perfectly evolved apex legume. No one wants three sharks to team up: that would simply lead to a bloodbath. Three beans on the other hand means a lukewarm banter bath and everyone’s invited (special rubber socks will be supplied for those with untreated athlete’s foot or verrucas).

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    16 October 2024, 12:12 am
  • 1 hour 4 minutes
    The Pyramids
    True to form, Tutankhamun from the Nile Delta has selected the pyramids as this week’s topic. Were these structures named after the shape or was it the other way around? Were they meant to be that shape in the first place or did they just run out of bricks? If they’ve REALLY been there for thousands of years how come they aren’t totally covered in graffiti tags and pictures of willies and stuff? For answers to all these questions and more why not try Wikipedia or Reddit or something? For a lukewarm take - press play.

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    9 October 2024, 12:15 am
  • 1 hour 25 seconds
    Adverts
    Adverts: lifeblood of the nation, engine of the economy, coal of the mind. What could be more splendid then than a podcast episode which already contains adverts also being about adverts? Thank you to Andrew from Leeds for feeding this suggestion into the bean machine for a listening experience which flicks a cold, hard finger-swear at the skip-forwards-by-30-seconds button.

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    2 October 2024, 12:15 am
  • 59 minutes 56 seconds
    Pasta
    It’s drive time on Bean FM and this week the lukewarm hits are in the key of “pasta” thanks to Matt of Bremen! We’ve got all the latest celebrity gossip, updates from Bonjamin’s traffic drone, weather from The Onion Child, something about sport presumably and unlimited adverts!! Call 0800-RIGATONI now with your crazy pasta story and you could win a sieve moulded from the face of Chris Tarrant!!!With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    25 September 2024, 12:10 am
  • 58 minutes 42 seconds
    Mushrooms
    The beans doff their caps (FUNGUS PUN!) to Adam of Bremington Spa for providing this weeks topic: mushrooms. What (or who???) are mushrooms? And why? And how come none of the other podcasts are getting to grips with them? Fear? Lobbyists? No matter. Just sit back, chuck some beans together with some mushrooms in a pot, set the hob to lukewarm and let’s see what bubbles up.

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    18 September 2024, 12:15 am
  • 1 hour 9 minutes
    Jazz
    Looking for a clear explanation of the syncopated contrapuntal elaboration of static half-diminished harmony tritone substitution turnaround? Then look no further as Cameron of Milton Keynes has the beans talk about jazz this week and, unless some sort of technical catastrophe has taken place resulting in a comprehensive explanation and discussion of music’s crown prince genre being replaced some quantity of bollocks, the beans have got you covered groove-style.

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    STREAMING TICKETS FOR OUR LONDON PODCAST FESTIVAL LIVE SHOWS:
    Friday 13th Sept 2024, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/30561/30562
    Saturday 14th Sept 2024, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/30530/30531

    With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    11 September 2024, 12:15 am
  • 1 hour 3 minutes
    Vampires
    Play this episode directly in front of a mirror and no reflection of it shall ye see because this episode, the first of season fourteen, is all about vampires thanks to Stan of Manchester. Little is known of the elusive Stan of Manchester other than he always travels with 50 boxes of Transylvanian soil. Make of that what you will.

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    4 September 2024, 12:17 am
  • 8 minutes 27 seconds
    Non-episode-isode-isode-isode-isode-isode



    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad


    6 August 2024, 11:59 pm
  • 13 minutes 5 seconds
    Fifth Wednesday Precaution Alert
    No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of hard won workers' rights)

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    31 July 2024, 12:15 am
  • 1 hour 1 minute
    Archaeology
    This week the beans are scraping away the topsoil of knowledge and softly brushing away the woodlice of friendship to reveal a hoard of lukewarm banter for your pleasure. This is all thanks to Pat from Ely who buried archaeology into the bean machine in the distant past naively assuming it would never be disturbed and would be allowed to rest in peace in perpetuity. Hard cheese, Pat!

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    24 July 2024, 12:15 am
  • 1 hour 3 minutes
    Boats
    "Why is that Wikipedia doesn’t bother having any pages about aquatic craft these days?”, you might ask if you’d had your head stuck in a honey badger’s front porch for the last 3 years. The answer, of course, is that people come to Three Bean Salad for comprehensive data batches on this subject as well as the very hottest of takes. Previous “searches” by listeners have included submarines, the Titanic and cruise ships. This week Rowan completes the set by asking the beans to unravel the mysteries of the final category of water going vehicles: boats.

    Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

    With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

    Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

    Get in touch: [email protected] @beansaladpod
    17 July 2024, 12:15 am
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