Episode Description

"Are you worrying about things that aren't even real, or stumbling into problems that don't exist?" 🎙️

This episode of Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas, opens with a wise and witty saying: "Don't stumble into tables and chairs that are not in the room." Kent reminds listeners to avoid wasting energy on imaginary troubles—a lesson that sets the tone for a show packed with humor, insight, and unforgettable stories.

Kent dives into the world of "stupid criminals," recounting the tale of a Wisconsin man who managed to steal not one, but two cop cars in a single day. If you want to steal something, Kent warns, "don't steal a cop's car—especially not two!" The episode also features the saga of Robert Ellis, a Chicago man who represented himself in court for impersonating a police officer and actually won his case, proving that sometimes luck and a little badge can go a long way.

Sports fans will love Kent's take on the Super Bowl, including the story of Brian Fowler, who set a Guinness World Record by attending every NFL stadium in one season. Kent shares his own football bucket list and reflects on the changing landscape of the NFL, from halftime shows to the impact of "woke" advertising.

The episode is filled with memorable moments: a woman trapped in a Pennsylvania car wash who turned her ordeal into viral fame, the Washington Post's dramatic newsroom cuts, and Kent's musings on the evolution of team names and legendary players like Johnny Unitas and John Riggins.

Health and wellness get a spotlight as Kent discusses binge drinking, gut health, and the surprising statistics about Americans struggling with bills and moving for better jobs. He challenges survey results, reminding listeners to "always watch on surveys—if they word the question right, they can come out with what they want."

Kent also tackles big issues: immigration enforcement, nuclear arms negotiations, and the ever-changing world of electric cars. The episode wraps with fun facts about Super Bowl snacks—did you know Americans consumed 1.5 billion chicken wings, enough to circle the earth three times?

Notable Quotes:

• "Don't stumble into tables and chairs that are not in the room."
• "If you want to steal something, don't steal a cop's car—especially not two!"
• "Always watch on surveys—if they word the question right, they can come out with what they want."
• "Avoid making problems out of things that are not problems."

Ready for laughter, wisdom, and a fresh perspective on Texas life? Hit subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with friends who love a great story and a sharp mind! ⭐️🎧

Call-to-Action

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"Can you trust the numbers, or are they just another tool for a clever storyteller?" 🎙️

This episode of Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas, opens with a classic Texas saying: "Figures never lie and liars figure." Kent dives into the drama of a shocking Senate race upset in Tarrant County, where overconfidence and low turnout flipped a safe seat—reminding listeners that "Republicans need to remember, you got to get out your vote." The national media may spin the story, but Kent's insight cuts through the noise.

From the chaos of deadly winter storms that left hundreds of thousands without power, to the tragic tale of a Challenger jet crash in Maine, Kent's stories are packed with real-life lessons and Texas grit. He shares why he refuses to fly in ice or snow, declaring, "If you're not right, then you're probably not gonna make it through it."

The episode takes a hilarious turn with tales of a mattress on fire, a Florida man's wild DWI chase, and the legendary Lubbock detective Bill—who "was the only guy in Lubbock openly trying to practice law that had never been to law school." Kent's humor and honesty shine as he recounts courtroom antics and the importance of knowing your own health.

Listeners get practical wisdom on the five essentials everyone should know: blood pressure, weight, heart health, cholesterol, and diabetes risk. Kent's advice is memorable—"If you listen to your body, it'll tell you what's wrong"—and he doesn't shy away from tough truths about obesity, exercise, and the dangers of sugar.

The episode also explores the addictive nature of social media, the impact of class action lawsuits, and the ever-changing landscape of college athletics. Kent reflects on how Walmart and Amazon revolutionized retail, sometimes at the expense of small-town businesses, and how the world keeps changing in unexpected ways.

Notable Quotes:

• "Figures never lie and liars figure."
• "If you're not right, then you're probably not gonna make it through it."
• "If you listen to your body, it'll tell you what's wrong."
• "Only one at a time, please." (on department store scales)

Ready for laughter, wisdom, and a fresh perspective on Texas life? Hit subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with friends who love a great story and a sharp mind! ⭐️🎧

👉 Don't miss out—subscribe now, leave a review, and share this episode with your friends! Your support helps Kent keep the stories coming. 🎉

"Is the loudest person in the room ever the smartest—or just hard of hearing?" 🧐

In this riveting episode of Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas, Chancellor Kent Hance takes listeners on a journey through the wild extremes of Texas weather, unforgettable characters, and the kind of stories only a true Texan can tell. From blizzards that bury cowboys and their horses, to the infamous "Snowmageddon" of 2021 that changed the state's energy grid forever, Kent's tales blend humor, history, and hard-earned wisdom.

Key moments include:

• Legendary Texas Weather: Hear about the hottest and coldest days ever recorded, the "Hotter'n Hell 100" bike race, and the epic floods of Hurricane Harvey—where 54 inches of rain fell in just 48 hours! 🌧️🔥
• Wildlife Encounters: Kent shares his airboat adventure in the Everglades, spotting alligators and massive turtles, and reveals how invasive pythons and feral hogs are changing the landscape—no license required to hunt these menaces! 🐊🐍🐗
• Life Lessons & Laughs: From Harvard studies on exercise and napping ("A short nap after lunch can recharge your day!") to the importance of background checks in schools, Kent's stories are packed with practical advice and sharp wit.
• Unforgettable Quotes:
  • "The loudest person in the room is usually not the smartest. And many times, they're just hard of hearing."
  • "My dad always told the story about the cowboy hat on a snow drift—there was a man under it, and he said, 'Did you dig my horse out that I'm riding?'"
  • "You can hunt pythons in Florida—no license needed, just go out and shoot them. The government will be happy you did!"

From the icy roads of Austin to the bedbug conferences in Denver, Kent's storytelling brings Texas to life with every anecdote. Whether he's flashing the lights to wake a snoring intern or marveling at a coyote swimming to Alcatraz, you'll laugh, learn, and leave with a new appreciation for the Lone Star State's grit and character.

Ready for more Texas-sized stories and wisdom? Hit play now! Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with fellow fans of great storytelling—because every week brings a new tale you won't want to miss. 🎧✨

In this episode, Kent discusses the pitfalls of using acronyms in professional and governmental communication, drawing from his experiences as a state senator and congressman. He shares anecdotes illustrating how acronyms can create confusion and alienate newcomers. Emphasizing the importance of clear and concise communication, Kent advocates for using full terms to ensure understanding among all audiences. Through personal stories and practical advice, he underscores the need for inclusivity and clarity to foster effective and collaborative environments.

"Does power truly change people—or does it simply reveal who they are?" 🤔

In this riveting episode Kent dives deep into the nature of influence, sharing unforgettable stories from his time in Texas politics, the halls of Washington, and the global stage at Davos. From the quirks of federal judges to the high-stakes drama of world leaders, Kent's tales are as insightful as they are entertaining.

Listeners are treated to a front-row seat at the World Economic Forum, where Kent's panel on energy competed with Playboy Magazine for attention—"Find out who your competition is when you're going to speak. Don't get up there against Playboy Magazine, because nobody will come listen to you!" 😂

The episode explores urgent themes: the struggle for power, the impact of healthcare on our lives, and the future of jobs in America. Kent's personal journey through open-heart surgery is both moving and motivating, reminding us, "What you put in your stomach before you're 40 determines what we have to take out after you're 40." 💡

From mass protests in Iran to the rise of autonomous trucks in Texas, Kent's perspective is sharp, witty, and always authentic. You'll laugh at stories of truck drivers backing into impossible spaces, marvel at the economics of steakhouse deals for baseball stars, and reflect on the wisdom of "trouble rides a fast horse—so does inflation."

Notable quotes and moments:

• "A power doesn't change people, it reveals them."
• "If you want to say something sensational, the press will be there."
• "You can't fix stupid."
• "If you get power, don't abuse it."

Ready for a dose of Texas-sized storytelling, real-world wisdom, and a few laughs along the way? Hit play now! 🎧

If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends who love great stories and sharp insights! ⭐️

Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas

Jan 12, 2026

"Oil, Opportunity & Outrage"

🎧 Episode Description

Have you ever asked yourself, "What happens when you focus more on losing than winning?" 🤔 This episode of Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas, is packed with gripping stories, sharp wisdom, and laugh-out-loud moments you won't want to miss!

Kent kicks things off with the saying of the day: "If you think about what you're going to do in case you lose, you have lost." 🏆 From the streets of Minneapolis to the halls of Congress, Kent explores why compliance with authority can mean the difference between life and death—and why arguing with a police officer is a losing game. "If a policeman asks you to do something, comply," Kent urges. "The number one thing is when a policeman stops you, he wants you to go home and he wants to be able to go home." 🚓

🌎 The episode takes you on a whirlwind tour of world events: the heartbreak of protests in Iran, the ever-changing U.S. immigration debate, and the high-stakes drama of Venezuelan politics. Kent's firsthand stories—like knowing the Iranian crown prince and witnessing football miracles—bring history and headlines to life.

🤣 Get ready to laugh at tales of "stupid criminals," including a Florida man hiding a gun under a silicone breast and a fortune teller who predicted—and committed—a theft. Reflect on the surprising drop in American alcohol consumption 🍺, the marketing missteps of major brands, and the power of great coaching to turn underdogs into champions.

Memorable moments abound, from the wisdom of "the moment you think about losing, you've already lost," to the hilarious mishap of AI reporting a policeman turned into a frog 🐸. This episode is a masterclass in storytelling—blending humor, hard truths, and hope.

Ready for stories that challenge, entertain, and inspire? Hit play now! 🎧✨

💬 Notable Quotes & Moments

• "If you think about what you're going to do in case you lose, you have lost." 🏅
• "If a policeman asks you to do something, comply… The number one thing is when a policeman stops you, he wants you to go home and he wants to be able to go home." 🚔
• "A dictator's biggest fear is their people rising up." ✊
• "Coaching matters. With Bill Snyder… you had to take care of details." 🏈
• "On artificial intelligence, there's a lot of people using that in legal documents. And they're getting results that aren't real good." 🤖

🚀 Call to Action

Love these stories and insights? Don't forget to subscribe, leave a glowing review, and share this episode with friends who appreciate a great tale! ⭐️ Your support keeps the best stories in Texas coming your way—don't miss out!

"How can someone receive nearly $77,000 in government benefits and still be officially counted as poor?" That's the provocative question at the heart of this eye-opening episode of Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas. Kent welcomes legendary former Senator Phil Gramm, author of The Myth of American Inequality, for a candid, no-holds-barred conversation that will challenge everything you thought you knew about welfare, poverty, and the American Dream.

Dive into the shocking realities behind federal welfare programs, where benefits like food stamps, Medicaid, housing subsidies, and refundable tax credits—totaling up to $76,908 per recipient—are not counted as income by the Census Bureau. Discover how this accounting "blind spot" fuels runaway spending, distorts poverty statistics, and creates perverse incentives that make it harder for hardworking families to get ahead.

• 💡 The Biggest Fraud in Welfare: Senator Gramm exposes how the real scandal isn't just isolated fraud in places like Minnesota, but a nationwide system that fails to count government benefits as income, keeping millions "officially" poor while spending $1.4 trillion annually.

• 📚 The Myth of American Inequality: Insights from Gramm's acclaimed book reveal how flawed measurements mask upward mobility and the true impact of welfare spending.

• 🔥 Memorable Quotes:
  • "If we simply gave the amount of money to poor people that it would take to raise their income level, we could reduce the deficit by two-thirds in one year."
  • "When we started the war on poverty in 1965, 68% of able-bodied, prime work-age persons in the bottom 20% worked. Today it's 36%. Why do you think that is?"
  • "The greatest fraud in welfare is in the federal government in Washington, D.C., when they give people benefits and don't count them as income."

• 🏆 The American Dream: Hear inspiring stories of upward mobility, including how 62% of children from the lowest income families rise to higher brackets in a single generation.

• ⚡ Urgency for Reform: Gramm calls for immediate action—urging Congress and the public to demand transparency, accountability, and real change in how welfare is measured and delivered.

Senator Phil Gramm brings decades of experience, academic rigor, and personal stories to the table, making complex economics both accessible and riveting. His challenge to policymakers and citizens alike: "If we made welfare reform the number one issue in the country, it would be a huge political issue."

🎧 Ready to rethink what you know about poverty and welfare in America? Hit subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with friends who care about the future of our country. Your voice matters—join the conversation and help drive real change!

"Would you hand the fate of your nation to someone who never finished high school?" This episode opens with a question that sets the stage for a gripping exploration of Venezuela's dramatic journey from prosperity to crisis. Kent Hance takes listeners on a vivid ride through the country's history, revealing how the world's richest oil reserves became a symbol of squandered potential and political missteps.

Listeners will be hooked by Kent's storytelling as he draws powerful comparisons between Venezuela and Texas, highlighting how leadership choices can make or break a nation. The episode unpacks the rise of Hugo Chavez and the astonishing ascent of Nicolás Maduro, a former bus driver whose leadership led to widespread poverty and chaos. Kent's signature wit shines as he shares memorable moments, including the covert military operation that toppled Maduro and the celebration of Venezuelans eager for change.

Key themes and moments include:

• The staggering gap between Venezuela's oil wealth and its economic reality
• The origins of OPEC and its Texas connection
• Personal stories of hope, loss, and resilience from Venezuelans forced to flee their homeland
• The secret mission "Absolute Resolve," which changed the course of history in a single weekend
• Kent's reflections on leadership, with unforgettable lines like, "Pick your battles wisely," and "You get what you pay for."

This episode is packed with hard-hitting insights, historical context, and Kent's trademark humor. It's a must-listen for anyone curious about global politics, economics, and the lessons Texas—and the world—can learn from Venezuela's cautionary tale.

🔥 Don't miss out! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with friends who love compelling stories and sharp lessons. Your support keeps the best stories in Texas alive!

🤔 "Are you ready to make the hard decisions, or will you bite the bullet and face them head-on?" That's the challenge that kicks off this episode, where Kent Hance blends Texas history, wild adventures, and sharp political insights into a tapestry only the best storyteller in Texas can weave.

From the annexation of Texas to the firebombing of London, Kent draws powerful parallels between moments of unity and division, asking listeners to reflect on what it means to stand together—or apart. His philosophy is clear: "If you're getting in a war, you should not have an exit strategy other than win and try to win as fast as possible."

🎩 The episode bursts with unforgettable stories, like the legendary "Fukawi Indians" joke from a lost hunting trip in Mexico, and a domino game where Kent and friends get hilariously hustled by two "novice" lawyers. The laughter continues with wild tales of rodeo-like elk hunts in Colorado, where horses with a history of fire turn a hunting trip into chaos and comedy.

💰 Kent dives deep into the debate between investing in a house versus stocks, sharing personal anecdotes and hard-earned wisdom: "Location, location, location… If things go rough, can I sell it?" He champions home ownership as the cornerstone of stability for young couples, while reminding listeners of the flexibility and liquidity of stock investments.

🏛️ The episode heats up with a breakdown of upcoming U.S. Senate races, revealing the drama, strategy, and personalities behind the headlines. Kent's candid commentary—"There's not a lot of fun in serving"—and his insider knowledge of candidates from Maine to Texas, Georgia to Ohio, make politics personal and compelling.

😲 And just when you think you've heard it all, Kent wraps up with a jaw-dropping true crime story: a Florida woman who murdered both her ex-husbands on the same day, prompting Kent's signature wit—"If you watch one episode of Forensic Files a week, you're not going to commit any crimes. They're going to catch you."

This episode is packed with wisdom, laughter, and moments that will stick with you long after you listen. Kent's storytelling is as sharp as ever, blending history, humor, and hard truths in a way that only he can.

• "Bite the bullet. You've got to make hard decisions sometimes."
• "If you're getting in a war, you should not have an exit strategy other than win."
• "Location, location, location."
• "If you watch one episode of Forensic Files a week, you're not going to commit any crimes."

🔥 Don't miss out—subscribe now to "Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas"! If you enjoyed this episode, leave a review, share it with friends, and help spread the stories that make Texas legendary. Your support keeps the tales coming! 🎧✨

Title:

"From College Football Controversies to Christmas Camels: Kent Hance Unleashes Texas-Sized Tales!"

Episode Description:

"Why do we worry so much about yesterday and tomorrow, when today is all we truly have?" 🌟 That's the thought-provoking question that kicks off this episode of Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas—and the stories that follow are as unforgettable as the wisdom behind it.

Join Kent Hance as he dives into the heart of Texas sports, sharing firsthand insights on the college football playoffs, the drama of teams left out, and the wild unpredictability of the games. Ever wondered why Notre Dame can't catch a break, or how bookmakers might do a better job than the NCAA? Kent's candid takes and sharp wit will have you nodding along—and laughing out loud.

You'll hear about President Kennedy's moon speech, a Super Bowl at Rice Stadium, and the hilarious escalation of a football accolade: "If I live long enough, I'll win the Heisman." 🏆

The stories get wilder: Medicaid fraud in Minnesota, DEA busts in Texas, and the jaw-dropping tale of a raccoon crashing a five-star dinner. There's a camel at a Houston megachurch's nativity scene (and a lesson about live animals you won't forget), a woman arrested for putting razor blades in bread, and a British criminal who turned a staple gun into a real weapon. Each story is told with Kent's signature humor and wisdom, reminding us that truth is often stranger—and funnier—than fiction.

Key themes include:

• The unpredictability and passion of college football
• The importance of living in the present
• Outrageous real-life news stories that could only happen in Texas (or to Texans)
• The value of saying "no" quickly—especially when asked to join the HOA!

Memorable moments and quotes:

• "If I live long enough, I'll win the Heisman."
• "Customers are always right. They vote with their feet."
• "Nine billion dollars is a lot of money to steal—nine billion, not nine million!"
• "Don't walk behind a camel, and don't bring live animals to church."

Ready for a ride through Texas-sized stories, sharp insights, and laugh-out-loud moments? Hit play now! 🎧

Call-to-Action:

If you love a good story and a hearty laugh, don't miss out—subscribe to "Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas" today! Leave us a review, share your favorite episode with friends, and follow us on Instagram @beststorytellerpodcast. Your support keeps the stories coming!

"Have you ever wondered why a penny saved is truly a penny earned—or how a cat could end up in a courtroom over a color TV?" 🐾💸

In this unforgettable episode of Kent Hance, The Best Storyteller in Texas, Kent dives headfirst into the heart of the holiday season, unraveling the quirks of Texas life, the high stakes of small-town business, and the wild stories that only Kent can tell. From the make-or-break months for local shops to the hilarious tale of a dime-wrapped Christmas gift, every moment is packed with wit, wisdom, and a dash of nostalgia.

Key highlights include:

• Holiday Hustle: Discover why November and December are do-or-die for small businesses, and how big-box stores changed the Texas landscape forever.
• Memorable Moments: Laugh along as Kent recalls the infamous "cat that won a color TV" lawsuit, a story that proves truth is stranger—and funnier—than fiction.
• Political Triumphs: Hear Kent reflect on his legendary victory over George Bush and the lessons learned from outsmarting seasoned politicians.
• Human Nature Exposed: From self-checkout confessions to the psychology of polls, Kent explores what makes people tick during the holidays and beyond.
• Texas Traffic & Tech: Get Kent's take on Austin's notorious traffic jams, the rise of driverless cars, and how technology is reshaping the Lone Star State.
• Stupid Criminals: Enjoy jaw-dropping stories of holiday mishaps, from a Grinch theft gone wrong to a bank deposit that included a bag of meth—reminding us all that "there are videos everywhere, and they're pretty good evidence!"

Notable quotes:

• "A penny saved is a penny earned."
• "If you don't make it in November and December, you don't make it."
• "He sure looks like me. The reason he looked like him, it was him."

With every story, Kent brings laughter, insight, and a genuine love for Texas tradition. Whether you're reminiscing about small-town Christmases or marveling at the absurdities of modern life, this episode is a must-listen.

👉 Don't miss out—subscribe now, leave us a review, and share your favorite story with a friend! Your support keeps the tales (and the laughter) coming. 🎧🤠