Tammy Sollenberger is an IFS therapist and host of The One Inside podcast, and today she's not holding back. She shares about the sudden loss of her father and a devastating breakup — and how both pulled her back to a wound she's been carrying since before she was born: unwanted.

✨ What this episode explores

▪️Grieving a Parent You Had a Complicated Relationship With — What it's like to mourn someone who both loved you and failed you.

▪️Hiding Yourself to Keep Them — The many ways you disappear to stay in relationship, from losing your voice to hiding the parts of yourself that feel too risky to share.

▪️Healthy vs. Unhealthy Reassurance — The difference between co-regulation and handing your whole nervous system over to someone else to manage.

▪️The Wound of Being Unwanted — How feeling unwanted as a child becomes the reason you settle for crumbs as an adult

▪️Connecting With Preverbal Parts — How to reach the parts of you that formed in utero or infancy, long before you had language for what you were experiencing.

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🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:

▪️Ep 190 | The Purpose of Our Pain: IFS Therapy to Heal Complex Trauma w/ Tammy Sollenberger

▪️Ep 204 | The Deeper Truth About Fawning: How Survival Turns Into Self-Abandonment w/ Ingrid Clayton

▪️Ep 140 | Healing from Emotionally Immature Parents: Grief Behind Anger w/ Morgan Pommells

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The parts of you that carry the most shame are the parts that most need to be seen.

Paul Gilmartin, host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour, is back on Adult Child for the third time, and this is the most vulnerable he's ever been. He shares the story of his recent relapse, how the covert incest he survived as a child shaped his sexuality in ways he's been ashamed of for most of his life, and what it took to finally get honest about all of it. This conversation is about what it takes to let people see the parts of you that you've been hiding the hardest.

✨ What this episode explores

▪️ Sexual Shame After Abuse — How childhood sexual abuse can rewire your arousal patterns so that what turns you on echoes the abuse itself

▪️ When Abuse Hides as Care — How to recognize covert incest when there was no single "event" to point to, just a parent whose love always felt like it was taking something from you.

▪️ The Inner Critic Is an Inner Abuser — Why your nervous system responds to your own self-talk the same way it would respond to an external threat, and what that means for how you talk to yourself in recovery.

▪️ The Corrective Relationship — How to identify whether a partner is loving you in spite of your darkest parts or actually loving all of you, and why that distinction changes everything.

▪️ Relapse as a Doorway — How to use a relapse to trace the thread back to the original wound instead of getting stuck in the shame spiral that keeps the cycle going.

▪️ Accessing Self-Compassion — What it actually looks like to be gentle with yourself while you're still in the mess, not after you've cleaned it up.

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🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:

▪️ Ep 124 | Intimacy Disorders & Childhood Trauma w/ Paul Gilmartin

▪️ Ep 160 | Betrayal Bonds, Enmeshment and Sex Addiction w/ Dr. Lara Dye

▪️ Ep 163 | Breaking The Shame: Adult Children of Sex Addicts w/ Dr. Kenneth Adams

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The moment you finally see yourself is the moment you no longer fear being seen.

Jesse Deal is a trauma recovery coach, parts work practitioner, and host of the podcast Trauma Unbound. After a lifetime of playing it small, he walked away from the life he'd been surviving in and started building the one he was actually meant for. This is a conversation about the fear of being seen, finding authenticity through parts work, and what happens when you stop waiting to have it all together and just go.

✨ What this episode explores:

▪️ Why Being Seen Feels Dangerous — Where the fear of being visible comes from and how to start dismantling the false story it's been telling you

▪️ Your Body as a Guide — How somatic awareness shows you what needs to change and points you toward a life that actually fits.

▪️ From Learned Helplessness to Hopefulness — How to start building the belief that the world can actually be safe and supportive.

▪️ What Parts Work Looks Like in Real Time — What it actually sounds like when someone checks in with a protector mid-conversation and comes out the other side more grounded.

▪️ When Authenticity Feels Unsafe — How learning your feelings were "too much" as a kid taught you that being yourself is what gets you hurt.

Jesse's Links🔗 Website.| YouTube | IG. | Apple Podcast | Spotify

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🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:

▪️Ep 168 | The Fragmented Self: Parts Work & Dissociation w/ Jesse D.

▪️Ep 190 | The Purpose of Our Pain: IFS Therapy to Heal Complex Trauma w/ Tammy Sollenberger

▪️Ep 145 | The Journey to Emotional Authenticity w/ Kenny Weiss

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When the person you're trying to save feels exactly like the parent you couldn't.

Marina Triner is a somatic coach and host of the Deep Within podcast who helps people move through deep-rooted patterns of stress, emotional disconnection, and shutdown through nervous system regulation and body-based healing. In today's episode, she shares how outgrowing her marriage allowed her to access deeper truths about her parents, her childhood, and deeply rooted patterns she hadn't seen before.

✨ What this episode explores:

▪️What Happens When You Heal and They Don't — Why outgrowing a relationship and the guilt of leaving can feel heavier than the pain of staying. 

▪️The Relationships That Keep You From Seeing the Truth — How a partner can block you from from facing what's actually unresolved with your parents, your childhood, and yourself.

▪️Why You Can't Stop Trying to Save Them — How the fixer pattern was never about the other person; it was about the child inside you refusing to give up on saving your parent.

▪️The Shame of "I Should Be Further Along" — Why years of healing don't make you immune to old patterns, and why falling back in isn't proof you've failed.

▪️When Asking for Help Is the Breakthrough — How letting people see you fall apart can be the most radical thing you do for your healing.

🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:

▪️ Ep 201 | Trauma-Bonded No More — My Journey Through Shame, Regression & Finding My Way Back

▪️ Ep 142 | Terry Real on Relational Trauma, Love Addiction and Shame

▪️ Ep 130 | Addicted to Fear & Chaos: The Adult Child Inner Drug Store w/ Dr. Scott Lyons

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Cory Scott is a therapist, somatic experiencing practitioner, EMDR specialist, and VITA sex, love, and relationship coach who's back for round two. As the scapegoat child in her family, she spent years channeling repressed anger from childhood into righteous blame, eating disorders, and a stress response she'd mistaken for her personality. She now helps people access the aliveness and freedom that trauma buried — through somatic healing, intensives on her 80-acre property in Virginia, and the kind of deep body-based work that goes where talk therapy alone can't reach.

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You don't know who you are because you were too busy being who she needed you to be.

Viviana Vozmediano is a trauma-informed coach who works with women who grew up with emotionally unavailable mothers - and she's speaking from experience. After spending her childhood as a Jehovah's Witness trying to be the perfect daughter to earn her mother's love, she was excommunicated and lost her entire community overnight. 

✨ What this episode explores

▪️Why Being the "Good One" Never Works — How becoming the easy, rule-following child was never about being good, but a strategy to earn love that was never available on those terms

▪️The Grief of Losing Someone Who's Still Alive — What it means to mourn a parent you can still call but can't actually reach, and why no one prepared you for that kind of loss

▪️When Your Whole Identity Belongs to Someone Else — How growing up performing for an emotionally unavailable parent can leave you with no idea who you are once the performance stops

▪️Why a Healthy Relationship Feels Like the Hardest Thing You've Ever Done — How finally being safe with someone can surface everything you suppressed to survive the relationships that weren't

▪️What Happens When You Lose Everyone Overnight — How being cut off from your entire world creates an abandonment wound so deep it keeps you in the next bad situation for years

🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:

• Ep 136 | Healing the Mother Wound: Why It Hurts and How We Begin to Heal w/ Bethany Webster
• Ep 103 | Religious Trauma & Abuse w/ Dr. Laura Anderson
• Ep 161 | Abandonment Trauma Expert Susan Anderson on Rejection and Equating Love with Insecurity Connects

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