Almost twenty years ago, an armed man stormed a small Amish school in Pennsylvania. It was a horrific attack in which he shot at ten girls. He then turned the gun on himself. The attack claimed the lives of five young girls and severely injured five others, including one who remained profoundly disabled for the rest of her life, and died at the age of just 23. Within hours, the affected Amish community took the most extraordinary steps to extend compassion to the family of the gunman. And it set off a life-altering process for Marie, his wife.

Matthew Syed follows Marie’s inconceivable journey navigating the complexities of forgiveness. He delves into Amish theology to understand how forgiving is a frequently misunderstood discipline, embedded in the collective identity of the Amish community, and considers how their approach to forgiveness challenges conventional wisdom.

Matthew also hears from one of the foundational figures in forgiveness science on the tangled journey of forgiving oneself. This is something Marie found herself grappling with after going through a process of forgiving her husband for things she would never fully understand. It prompts Matthew to reflect on the quiet and rippling power inherent in the many acts of forgiveness that emerged from a day of unimaginable tragedy.

Featuring Marie Monville, speaker and author of the memoir One Light Still Shines: My Life Beyond the Shadow of the Amish Schoolhouse Shooting; Steven Nolt, Professor of History and Anabaptist Studies at Elizabethtown College, Pennsylvania, and co-author of Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy; and Everett Worthington, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University and a leading researcher in the psychology of forgiveness.

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Vishva Samani Series Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound Designer: Mark Pittam Production Coordinator: Joe Savage Theme by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

Featuring archive from:

CBS News Special Report, October 2, 2006

Meyer, Jack, Amish neighbour speaking to Associated Press, “Amish urge forgiveness after school shootings,” Associated Press, October 3, 2006; copyrighted by Associated Press (AP)

A morning routine. A cup of tea brewing. Toast almost ready. It’s Monday, and a young man is getting ready to leave for work, when there’s a knock at the door. Two police officers stand outside with news that will change his life - he’s under arrest.

He’s stunned. There must be a mistake. What has he done? “I’m afraid we can’t share that information yet,” one of the officers says. He’s never been in trouble with the law. But now he is - and no one will tell him why.

Matthew Syed invites us to confront the absurd - the moments when life stops making sense, when there’s nothing to grasp or explain. He asks whether we have grown used to the absurdity woven into our lives and whether there is a way to push against it.

With author Michael Foley, Professor of Anthropology Nina Holm Vohnsen (University of Aarhus) and Mathijs Bal, Psychologist and Professor of Management (University of Lincoln).

With special thanks to Tom Wright and Joe Savage. Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Julien Manuguerra-Patten Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittam Production Coordinator: Joe Savage Theme music by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

Every week, podcaster Curt Jaimungal immerses himself in big ideas and complex theories to prepare for long, in-depth interviews with some of the world’s leading thinkers on his show Theories of Everything. His guests are wide-ranging - renowned physicists, mathematicians but also philosophers - investigating questions of existence and the nature of reality. He takes it very seriously, as part of a wider quest to find a worldview. But one day, he’s shocked to discover he feels disorientated by what he’d previously considered a mere intellectual exercise.

Matthew Syed asks whether certain ideas and practices are riskier, perhaps more dangerous to explore than others. He discovers ideas around selfhood in particular can send people into a spin and traces the history of when practices based on self-observation became popularised in western societies, often outside of their intended context. He assesses the dangers of ‘ontological whiplash’, a term podcaster Curt gives to the experience of constantly going from one set of ideas to another. And he receives sound advice from his old friend Dr Iain McGilchrist - a psychiatrist, philosopher, and bestselling author - on how best to maintain a sense of equilibrium when exploring questions of the self and consciousness.

With Curt Jaimungal, creator and podcast host of Theories of Everything; Willoughby Britton, associate professor of psychiatry and human behaviour at Brown University Medical School and director of the Clinical and Affective Neuroscience Laboratory at Brown University School of Public Health; Brahmacharini Shripriya Chaitanya, Hindu monk with Chinmaya Mission; and Dr Iain McGilchrist, psychiatrist, philosopher, and author of the bestselling book The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World.

Featuring excerpts from Curt Jaimungal’s Theories of Everything YouTube channel: Why Consciousness is Fundamental with Donald Hoffman, July 30, 2020 Noam Chomsky: Panpsychism, LLMs, Artificial Consciousness, October 25, 2022

Rupert Spira: Non-Dualism, God, & Death, June 21, 2021 Matter and Mind: Rethinking Consciousness with Iain McGilchrist, November 26, 2024

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Vishva Samani Series Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound Designer: Mark Pittam Production Coordinator: Joe Savage Theme by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

As a young girl, Djamila Azzouz loved performing - musical theatre, choirs. She loved nothing more than the thrill of entertaining an audience. But in her teenage years, mental health issues made her shy away from a career that would put her in the spotlight. When even singing itself became difficult, she found a surprising alternative: screaming. But as a woman, her raw, unfiltered expression often clashed with social expectations, even on the metal music scene.

Matthew Syed explores how, throughout history, women's screams have frequently been tightly controlled, accepted only in specific contexts. And considers whether there are signs of a shift towards greater acceptance and empowerment through screaming, even in horror, where traditionally scream queens have conveyed fear, pleasure, or vulnerability.

With Ithaca’s vocalist Djamila Azzouz, vocal coach Melissa Cross, behavioural and data scientist Professor Pragya Agarwal, and Elizabeth Erwin, researcher in film and media at LeHigh University, Pennsylvania. Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Julien Manuguerra-Patten Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittam Theme music by: Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

In this episode, you heard:

Ithaca - They Fear Us Written by Sam Chetan-Welsh, Djamila Azzouz, Will Sweet, James Lewis, Dom Moss. AMF Music Limited

Ithaca - Impulse Crush Written by Sam Chetan-Welsh, Djamila Azzouz, Will Sweet, James Lewis, Dom Moss.

Ithaca - Cremation Party Written by Sam Chetan-Welsh, Djamila Azzouz, Will Sweet, James Lewis, Dom Moss. AMF Music Limited

Ithaca - Fluorescent Written by Sam Chetan-Welsh, Djamila Azzouz, Will Sweet, James Lewis, Dom Moss. AMF Music Limited

Poppy, Amy Lee, and Courtney LaPlante - End of You Written by Moriah Rose Perreira, Jordan Fish, Amy Lee, Courtney Laplante, Mike Stringer Sumerian Records

It’s 5 pm, and 4-year-old Aqeela, his sister Londie, and three of their siblings scuttle under a tent they’ve made in the boys’ bedroom. It’s time for “The Story”. For weeks, they play out missions and tasks given by an old, wise Kung Fu master. Their mission? Save the world. It’s a story of responsibility, purpose and rewards.

Years later, when Aqeela finds himself part of a gang war in South Los Angeles, ‘The Story’ comes back to him at the most unexpected moment, changing the course of his life.

Throughout our whole existence, we hear and create stories. Some we forget immediately, others we keep with us forever. Matthew Syed looks at the impact one simple story can have on an individual - and sometimes many more.

With former LA gang member and social activist Aqeela Sherrills; Elander (Londie) Sherrills-Hills; Professor of Education, Psychology, and Neuroscience Mary Helen Immordino-Yang from University of Southern California; and Marshall Duke, Professor of Psychology at Emory University, Atlanta.

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Julien Manuguerra-Patten Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittam Theme music by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

Featuring archive from:

NBC News, Los Angeles - 18 February 1983 - Report by Heidi Shulmann about gang activity in LA

NBC News Special LA Riots Report - 30th April 1992 - Tom Brokaw

Simon Burrell always imagined he’d be a dad one day. But as the years pass, it’s something he dismisses. Simon is gay, single and approaching 50. But then, an honest conversation with a friend resurfaces that deep, buried desire to parent a child. And Simon goes to extraordinary lengths to make it a reality.

Matthew Syed follows Simon’s unconventional journey to single fatherhood, explores why male ‘baby lust’ - the intense desire to be a parent - is often overlooked and how popular culture helps reinforce stereotypes that assume women yearn for a baby more than men.

With Simon Burrell; Dr Robin Hadley, a researcher in male childlessness and evolutionary anthropologist; and author of the book The Life of Dad, Dr Anna Machin.

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Vishva Samani Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittam Theme music by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

Featuring archive from:

Finding Surrogacy: Real Life Gay Dads, produced and directed by Andrew Webb, for ITV Meridian Broadcasting, 2000

Father of the Bride Part II, directed by Charles Shyer, written by Nancy Meyers, produced by Touchstone Pictures - a film label of The Walt Disney Company, distributed by Buena Vista Pictures Distribution,1995

Bridget Jones’s Diary, directed by Sharon Maguire, written by Helen Fielding, Andrew Davies and Richard Curtis, co-produced by Working Title Films, Universal Pictures and StudioCanal, distributed by Miramax Films and United International Pictures, 2001

Episode 29 Pancakes from the series Peppa Pig (Season 1), created, written and directed by Mark Baker and Neville Astley, produced by Astley Baker Davies / Hasbro Entertainment, original UK air date: 2 July 2004 (Channel 5)

Joshua Brown, a respected neuroscience professor at Indiana University was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour in 2003. It was devastating news, Joshua was only 30, and a new father. And so, with nothing to lose, he and his wife pursued an unconventional path - especially for a scientist. Together with their newborn daughter, they travelled across America, praying for a miracle.

Matthew Syed delves into instances where inexplicable recoveries have been interpreted as evidence of divine intervention. He examines the unexpected ways in which the Vatican works with scientists to deem certain events miraculous. The whole idea touches on something deeply personal to Matthew as someone who grew up in a family that believed in miracle healings. He now struggles with the idea and is a firm non-believer, but he reunites with a much-loved pastor from his childhood for a frank conversation and meeting of their two viewpoints. Through Joshua’s remarkable journey, Matthew probes at whether miracles can ever be compatible with scientific thinking.

With Joshua Brown, Professor of psychological and brain sciences at Indiana University and Director of the Global Medical Research Institute; oncologist Dr Ranjana Srivastava; Jacqueline Duffin, haematologist, historian, and Professor Emerita at Queen’s University, Canada; and Matthew’s childhood pastor, Nigel Thompson.

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Vishva Samani Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittam Theme music by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

Featuring archive from the Reinhard Bonnke Legacy Collection -Something to Shout About, produced and distributed by Christ for All Nations (CfaN) ministry.

Sideways returns with eight new stories of seeing the world differently and the ideas that shape our lives. Stories about everything from miracle healing and science, to the evolution of women's screams, explored through heavy metal music, to why male broodiness shouldn't be overlooked. Listen to the latest series of Sideways first on BBC Sounds.

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producers: Julien Manuguerra-Patten and Vishva Samani Series Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittam Theme music by: Ioana Selaru Produced by: Novel for BBC Radio 4

In 2014, Lydia Laurenson moved to San Francisco. As she struggled to find her place and her people in a new city, one mysterious invitation changed everything. After a compelling - if slightly bizarre - induction, she was welcomed into a secretive and exclusive group called The Latitude. Their aim? To experience life more creatively.

There’s something undeniably powerful about being chosen. For centuries, secret societies have perfected a mix of mystery, camaraderie, and selectiveness. And that taps into something deeply human - the need to belong. From secret childhood clubs to private online groups, we’ve always created small, hidden worlds that feel like they’re just for us.

Today, we ask what it is about being on the inside of something hidden that makes us feel seen. With writer Lydia Laurenson, Professor of History Rick Spence, and British author Tiffany Jenkins.

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Julien Manuguerra-Patten Editor: Hannah Marshall Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittam Theme music by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4.

Anna Go-Go has always defied expectations - she was a drummer (still rare for a woman), then a comedian and now a mass Go-Go dance instructor - always with her beloved cats by her side. But when she turned 40, she noticed people’s attitudes changed towards her. They saw her as an older woman living alone with cats and really began to treat her like a ‘crazy cat lady’.

The idea of a woman living alone with cats has caused cultural panic for centuries. In 2021 when US vice-president JD Vance was a Senate candidate, he described how his country was run by a bunch of ‘childless cat ladies’ - miserable at their lives and the choices they made. The comments went viral and were heavily criticised but they also drew attention to the modern-day use of the cat lady trope.

In this episode, with the help of history and science, Matthew Syed explores how and why this centuries-old shaming tactic has travelled through time and still echoes today.

With performer, mass dance master and author of Cat Lady Manifesto, Anna Go-Go; Dr Corey Wrenn, Lecturer of Sociology at the University of Kent; historian and author of the book Catland, Kathryn Hughes; and evolutionary biologist at Washington University in St Louis and author of The Age of Cats, Professor Jonathan Losos.

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Vishva Samani Editor: Hannah Marshall Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittan Theme music by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

Movie stuntman Brian Hite often experiences a dramatic slowing down of time while performing complex stunts in a matter of seconds, like car hits - entering the fabled place often described by top sportspeople as “the zone”. It’s something Matthew’s experienced himself during his professional table-tennis career. Brief, heightened moments in which the ball feels larger, the racquet becomes an extension of the body, and everything slows down.

These intense slow-motion experiences are generally explained as a trick of memory. But could they be something more - could it be that time is less rigid than we think? After all, modern theories of physics already challenge our everyday experience of time. Civil engineer Philip Wade experienced time in slow-motion twice while on holiday skiing too. It was so powerful, it set him on a path of meditation, and entirely changed his perspective on time.

Delving into new scientific theories and transpersonal psychology, Matthew Syed examines these experiences more deeply and asks whether such encounters suggest the way we think of time itself is an illusion.

With professional stuntman and sports performance psychologist Dr Brian Hite; Transpersonal Psychologist at Leeds Beckett University and author of the book Time Expansion Experiences, Dr Steve Taylor; Emeritus Professor of Mathematics and Astronomy at Queen Mary University of London, Bernard Carr; and spiritual guide Philip Wade, creator of The Living Soul App.

Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Vishva Samani Editor: Hannah Marshall Sound Design and Mix: Mark Pittam Theme music by Ioana Selaru A Novel production for BBC Radio 4