Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos

Chris Distefano

  • 27 minutes 24 seconds
    New York Stories, Old School Parenting, and Marriage Advice w/ Nick Turturro

    #ChrisDistefano #StandUp #comedy

    Chaos in the back of a minivan in New York City.


    This episode of Chrissy Chaos goes everywhere — from classic NYC energy and wild childhood stories to Knicks frustrations, old-school parenting, and real marriage advice that actually hits.


    We get into how New York has changed, growing up with tough parents, relationships, family life, and a birthday dinner that takes a turn you won’t believe.


    It’s unpredictable, it’s honest, and it’s exactly what you expect when you record a podcast in the back of a car.


    Subscribe for new episodes every week.


    00:00 Podcast in a Minivan

    00:01 New York Energy vs Everywhere Else

    00:02 Wild Childhood & Old School Parenting

    00:05 Has NYC Changed? Safety & Street Stories

    00:06 Italian Restaurant Debate in Queens

    00:08 Knicks Talk & NBA Rant

    00:10 Acting Stories & NYPD Blue

    00:12 Catholic School & Growing Up in Queens

    00:14 Love Story & Marriage Talk

    00:16 Real Marriage Advice

    00:18 Family Life & Relationships

    00:20 BlueChew Ad Read

    00:21 Birthday Dinner Goes Wrong

    00:23 Injury, Surgery & Physical Therapy Talk


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    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/



    🎥 Vito Calise - Producer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/SweedishFishMafia


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    25 April 2026, 1:33 am
  • 1 hour 3 minutes
    Getting Roasted for Not Knowing Basic Life Skills | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos

    #ChrisDistefano #StandUp #Comedy


    Chrissy Chaos is back and this time the Reverse Advice Hotline delivers. Chrissy and Vito talk weight loss, weird food habits, David Cross, Jasmin’s birthday, home ownership stress, and then open the lines for fans to tell Chrissy exactly how to fix his life.


    The callers do not disappoint. Chrissy gets roasted for not knowing tools, told to stop moving, pushed into “man bootcamp,” and somehow ends up in a full debate about confidence, dating, daughters, and whether he can survive adulthood. Absolute chaos from start to finish.


    Subscribe for more Chrissy Chaos and drop a comment with your best advice for Chrissy.


    Timestamps

    00:00 Chrissy’s new look, the lights, and the Reverse Advice Hotline

    01:21 Chrissy’s weight loss, peptides, protein yogurt, and avocado talk

    04:40 Vito’s banana disaster and getting diarrhea from Chrissy

    05:37 Jasmine’s birthday problem and why Chrissy needs help

    06:15 David Cross, fake voicemail chaos, and comedian stories

    08:58 House stress, money pressure, and Delilah manipulating basketball time

    11:11 Reverse Advice Hotline begins

    11:32 Jacob calls in and tells Chrissy to buy tools

    16:34 Tool talk turns completely insane

    20:28 Von says Chrissy has to stop moving

    25:31 Arizona, the original 13 colonies, and saving Atlanta over Chicago

    27:20 Elise creates “man bootcamp” for Chrissy

    29:32 Can Chrissy actually change a tire?

    33:42 Jasmine birthday advice from Elise

    37:42 Nick calls in with the wildest confidence boost of the episode

    41:11 Group chat recap: tools, confidence, and total insanity

    46:05 Chrissy tries to figure out Jasmine’s actual birthday plan

    48:58 Ireland trip debate: nanny or mom?

    53:58 Trump, the Pope, and late-show chaos

    58:28 Who should Chrissy call next?



    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/



    🎥 Vito Calise - Producer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/SweedishFishMafia


    🎤More Chris D Comedy

    Website: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/

    Live Dates: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/#tickets

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    15 April 2026, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 29 minutes
    What The Hell Is a DOG COMMUNICATOR?! | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos

    #ChrisDistefano #StandUp #Comedy


    We’re BACK on video…


    In this episode of Chrissy Chaos, Chris explains why he HAD to bring video back (hint: it involves a house, a wedding, and a LOT of money). Meanwhile, Josephine the dog completely takes over the studio, Vito is barely surviving with duct-taped equipment, and the Reverse Advice Hotline returns with some of the most unhinged callers yet.


    From real estate advice to vegan weight loss, dating chaos, and even a dog communicator who claims she can read Josephine’s mind… this episode is absolute madness.


    Plus: Easter drama, family dynamics, and the realization that adulthood might just be one long expensive mistake.


    Subscribe for new episodes every week. And yes… video is here to stay.


    00:00 We’re BACK on video (and I’m broke)

    02:00 The real reason we NEED video

    05:30 House problems & expensive upgrades

    08:00 Dog chaos begins (Josephine takeover)

    11:30 Reverse Advice Hotline returns

    14:30 Real estate advice call

    20:00 Vegan weight loss guy (Sea Bass)

    27:00 Wild relationship + life advice caller

    34:00 Dog communicator joins… gets weird

    48:00 Ranking the callers

    52:00 Chaos recap & best advice

    56:30 Jasmine call + tooth drama

    01:00:00 Easter recap & family dynamics

    01:07:00 Old house problems & real estate talk

    01:13:00 Future of the show + hotline rules


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    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/



    🎥 Vito Calise - Producer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/SweedishFishMafia

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/VitoCalise


    🎤More Chris D Comedy

    Website: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/

    Live Dates: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/#tickets

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    8 April 2026, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 15 minutes
    Reverse Advice Hotline Got Out of Control | Chris Disefano is Chrissy Chaos

    Chrissy is spiraling… and this episode proves it.


    From breaking down a massive financial mistake with his house to debating testosterone therapy, Chrissy Chaos gets REAL in this audio-only episode. But instead of giving advice… he flips the script.


    📞 Introducing the Reverse Advice Hotline — where fans give HIM advice.


    And let’s just say… it gets chaotic fast.


    We’ve got:


    A brutally honest breakdown of overspending and financial stress

    The reality of family, pressure, and feeling stuck

    Wild calls from fans (including a sailing instructor and a Reiki “witch”)

    A moment that somehow turns into matchmaking?!

    Behind-the-scenes stories from a massive NYPD show at Madison Square Garden

    And a real conversation about work, purpose, and getting your life together


    This is Chrissy Chaos at its most unfiltered.


    Call the hotline: (929) 266-7934


    00:00 Intro – Audio Only Chaos Begins

    01:00 Health Talk – Cholesterol, Testosterone & TRT Debate

    03:30 Dog Stories Get INSANE

    06:00 Chrissy’s Financial Reality Hits Hard

    08:30 “I Bought a House I Can’t Afford”

    12:00 Too Many Podcasts? Feeling Overwhelmed

    13:00 Reverse Advice Hotline Explained

    15:00 Should He Sell the House or Stay?

    20:00 Living Paycheck to Paycheck Reality Check

    23:00 History Hyenas Saving His Career

    26:00 Home Renovation Stress + Reality Check

    29:00 Career Reflections & Madison Square Garden Story

    32:00 NYPD Show Breakdown (Wild Crowd Story)

    37:00 Jasmine Calls Mid-Pod (Classic Chaos)

    40:00 Reverse Advice Call #1 – “Buy a Boat”

    44:30 Reverse Advice Call #2 – Chakra Healing Gets Wild

    53:00 Fans Meet Each Other… It Gets Weird

    59:30 “Is My Life Actually Normal?”

    01:00:30 TRT, Health & Getting Older Talk

    01:05:00 Career Mindset & Self-Doubt

    01:09:00 Conversation about Ron Bennington

    01:12:00 Outro – Back to Moving Furniture

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    1 April 2026, 5:30 am
  • 1 hour 10 minutes
    I Ran From a Fox… It Was a Squirrel

    #chrisdistefano

    Chris is back with another chaotic episode — and this one has everything.


    We’re going audio only (deal with it), calling fans for advice instead of giving it, and trying to figure out if Chris is even capable of owning a Siberian Husky. Things spiral fast when a “fox sighting” turns into a full sprint from… a squirrel.


    Chris calls dog trainer Justin Silver for real advice, but somehow ends up talking peptides, shock collars, and whether you can train a dog like a four-legged child.


    Then it’s Knicks courtside stories — including Tracy Morgan demanding Vito “lock the f*** in,” plus an all-time awkward celebrity interaction.


    We also get into:


    Chris potentially coaching his daughter’s T-ball team (terrifying)

    A secret bundt cake addiction

    Saint John’s obsession reaching dangerous levels

    And whether Chris is about to abandon his family for March Madness


    PLUS — the debut of the Reverse Advice Hotline.


    📞 CALL IN: (929) 266-7934

    Leave a voicemail and YOU might get called on the show.


    0:00 Audio Only Chaos Begins

    1:00 Ceiling Leak + “Actual Men” Fix It

    2:00 Starving Before Podcast

    3:00 Chris vs Audio-Only Haters

    5:00 Reverse Advice Hotline Idea

    6:45 Husky Controversy + Fan Comments

    8:00 “Fox” vs Squirrel Incident

    9:30 Calling Dog Trainer Justin Silver

    12:00 How To Train a Husky Properly

    15:00 Shock Collar Explanation

    18:00 Trainer Hookup Gets Weird

    20:00 LA vs NYC Debate

    23:00 Peptides, TRT & Dog Injections

    27:00 Bundt Cake Obsession

    29:00 Courtside Knicks Experience

    33:00 Tracy Morgan Interaction

    37:00 Awkward Celebrity Moment

    41:00 Sitting Courtside Struggles

    45:00 Celebrities & Fighting Talk

    46:30 Reverse Advice Hotline Plug

    47:00 Opening Day + Mets Talk

    49:00 T-Ball Coaching Debate

    52:00 Saint John’s Madness Obsession

    #StandUp #Comedy


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    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/



    🎥 Vito Calise - Producer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/SweedishFishMafia

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/vitocalise




    🎤More Chris D Comedy

    Website: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/

    Live Dates: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/#tickets

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    25 March 2026, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 6 minutes
    From NYC to Suburbs… Big Mistake?! | Chrissy Chaos Is BACK… And Chris Is Losing It

    Chrissy Chaos is BACK — and this time it’s audio only.


    Chris Distefano and Vito are back together after a long break, diving into everything from moving out of NYC, buying a house, anxiety spirals, relationships, and whether Chris made the biggest mistake of his life.


    From breaking a lawn mower on day one… to questioning EVERYTHING… to discovering peptides and internet health conspiracies — this episode is peak Chrissy Chaos.


    If you’ve ever made a big life decision and immediately panicked… this one’s for you.


    🎧 New episodes every week (audio only)

    🔥 Chaos is officially back


    00:00 Chrissy Chaos Returns (Audio Only Era)

    03:00 Moving Out of NYC & House Regret Begins

    07:30 Lawn Mower Disaster (Day One Homeowner Fail)

    10:00 “Did I Ruin My Life?” Anxiety Spiral

    12:30 Learning to Be a Man (At 41)

    15:30 Suburban Life vs City Life

    18:30 Why Chrissy Chaos Stopped

    21:00 Chris Has No Brakes (Jasmine Calls Him Out)

    24:00 Expensive House Mistakes & Fence Story

    26:30 Living the Wrong Life

    28:30 “My Best Days Were Over”

    31:00 Conspiracies, News & Chaos Talk

    33:30 Chris Admits He Doesn’t Want the Dog

    35:30 Jasmine Calls Into the Podcast

    38:30 Dog Problems, Poop & Daily Chaos

    41:30 Suburban Culture Shock (Garbage, Neighbors)

    44:30 The Italian Neighbor Story

    46:00 Peptides, Ozempic & Health Rabbit Hole


    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/


    🎥 Vito Calise - Producer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/SweedishFishMafia

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/vitocalise



    🎤More Chris D Comedy

    Website: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/

    Live Dates: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/#tickets

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    18 March 2026, 9:30 am
  • 41 minutes 9 seconds
    IRANIAN HOSTAGE CRISIS: Revolution, Diplomacy & a Hollywood Rescue

    In 1979, Iranian revolutionaries stormed the U.S. Embassy in Tehran and took 52 Americans hostage, sparking a 444-day international crisis. Caught between shifting politics and fierce anti-American sentiment, the hostages endured beatings, mock executions, and months of isolation. Meanwhile, the world watched as President Jimmy Carter struggled to negotiate their release amid rising tensions and oil shocks. Discover how a daring CIA operation — involving a fake sci-fi movie called Argo — helped smuggle six diplomats to freedom. Dive into the behind-the-scenes drama of Iran’s revolution, U.S.-Iran relations, and the unexpected heroes who changed history. Perfect for fans of political thrillers, Cold War stories, and true tales of courage under fire. Don’t miss this gripping episode on one of the most intense hostage crises in modern history.


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    Christories Disclaimer* it is important to note that Christories knowledge and understanding of historical events, facts, and figures may not be 100% accurate or complete! Note that information in this episode has been lightly researched and we encourage you to continue your learning outside of this episode too, Babes!


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    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/


    🙋‍♀️ Venetia Geras - Writer / Producer

    Website - https://www.venetiageras.com

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/venetiaageras/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/venetiaageras


    🎥 Steve Ciccone - Editor

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/erthtone/

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    John Grady - Graphic Designer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gradydesign/

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    28 July 2025, 12:00 am
  • 20 minutes 20 seconds
    The Roaring 20s’ Dark Side: Crime, Chaos & Prohibition’s Fallout

    WE'RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT PROHIBITION, THE CRAZY ERA WHEN ALCOHOL WAS BANNED IN AMERICA! From the roaring twenties to speakeasies hidden behind secret doors, Prohibition turned ordinary Americans into bootleggers, gangsters, and undercover cops. We dive into how this bold social experiment was supposed to stop crime and improve health, but instead, it sparked a wild rise in organized crime, secret parties, and clever loopholes. Hear about the colorful characters, the rise of the mob, and how the government’s grand plan ultimately fizzled out. This episode uncorks the real story behind the dry laws and their unintended consequences. Listen to the full Christories of Prohibition and raise a glass to history, just not with booze!

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    BetterHelp - Chrissy Chaos presents Christories is brought to you by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/CHAOS

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    Christories Disclaimer* it is important to note that Christories knowledge and understanding of historical events, facts, and figures may not be 100% accurate or complete! Note that information in this episode has been lightly researched and we encourage you to continue your learning outside of this episode too, Babes!


    Follow us Muffin Butt!

    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/


    🙋‍♀️ Venetia Geras - Writer / Producer

    Website - https://www.venetiageras.com

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/venetiaageras/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/venetiaageras


    🎥 Steve Ciccone - Editor

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/erthtone/

    YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@erthtone


    John Grady - Graphic Designer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gradydesign/

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    21 July 2025, 12:00 am
  • 37 minutes
    Chernobyl’s Nuclear Nightmare: Chaos, Cover-Ups, and Courage

    WE'RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT THE CHERNOBYL EXPLOSION, ONE OF THE MOST CATASTROPHIC NUCLEAR DISASTERS IN HISTORY. In this episode of Christories, we dive deep into the events leading up to the explosion, revealing how human error and flawed design combined to create a deadly accident. Discover the harrowing immediate aftermath and the long-term environmental and health impacts that still resonate today. We explore the untold stories of the brave workers and first responders who risked everything to contain the disaster. Learn how the Soviet government tried to cover up the incident and the global reaction that followed. Tune in to hear the full Christories of Chernobyl, a chilling tale of science, tragedy, and resilience.


    SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS

    Cornbread Hemp - Right now, Chrissy Chaos listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to https://cornbreadhemp.com/CHAOS and use code CHAOS at checkout.


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    BlueChew - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code CHAOS -- just pay $5 shipping.


    Christories Disclaimer* it is important to note that Christories knowledge and understanding of historical events, facts, and figures may not be 100% accurate or complete! Note that information in this episode has been lightly researched and we encourage you to continue your learning outside of this episode too, Babes!


    Follow us Muffin Butt!


    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris DistefanoInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/


    🙋‍♀️ Venetia Geras - Writer / Producer

    Website - https://www.venetiageras.comInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/venetiaageras/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/venetiaageras


    🎥 Steve Ciccone - Editor

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/erthtone/

    YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@erthtone


    John Grady - Graphic Designer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gradydesign/


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    14 July 2025, 12:00 am
  • 30 minutes 23 seconds
    The HAUNTING Lies of Salem Witch Trials

    WE’RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS. In this chilling episode of Christories, we uncover the truth behind one of the darkest chapters in American colonial history. Forget what you’ve heard about witches being burned—this story is even more haunting. We explore how fear, superstition, and power dynamics led to the wrongful execution of 19 people, mostly women. You’ll learn who was accused, who benefited, and why it spiraled out of control. From teenage girls to political grudges, nothing was as simple as it seemed. Listen to the full Christories episode on the Salem Witch Trials to uncover the real story behind the myth.


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    Christories Disclaimer* it is important to note that Christories knowledge and understanding of historical events, facts, and figures may not be 100% accurate or complete! Note that information in this episode has been lightly researched and we encourage you to continue your learning outside of this episode too, Babes!


    Follow us Muffin Butt!


    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy

    Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/


    🙋‍♀️ Venetia Geras - Writer / Producer

    Website - https://www.venetiageras.com

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/venetiaageras/

    Twitter - https://twitter.com/venetiaageras


    🎥 Steve Ciccone - Editor

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/erthtone/

    YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@erthtone


    John Grady - Graphic Designer

    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gradydesign/

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    7 July 2025, 12:00 am
  • 54 minutes 59 seconds
    The Founding Father’s Secrets: What You DIDN’T KNOW About George Washington

    WE’RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT GEORGE WASHINGTON, THE MYTH, THE MAN, AND THE MESSY TRUTH. He’s on the dollar bill, praised as the father of our country, but how well do we really know him? In this episode of Christories, we dig into the real George Washington: war hero, enslaver, and symbol of a young nation’s contradictions. From his violent campaigns against Native Americans to the legendary (but fake) cherry tree story, we uncover the hidden layers of his legacy. You’ll hear the daring escape of Ona Judge, the truth about his famous teeth, and why he reluctantly became president. He shaped America—but not without flaws that still echo today. Listen to the full Christories of George Washington wherever you get your podcasts.


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    Christories Disclaimer* it is important to note that Christories knowledge and understanding of historical events, facts, and figures may not be 100% accurate or complete! Note that information in this episode has been lightly researched and we encourage you to continue your learning outside of this episode too, Babes!


    Follow us Muffin Butt!

    🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris DistefanoInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedyWebsite - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/


    🙋‍♀️ Venetia Geras - Writer / ProducerWebsite - https://www.venetiageras.comInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/venetiaageras/Twitter - https://twitter.com/venetiaageras


    🎥 Steve Ciccone - EditorInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/erthtone/YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@erthtone


    John Grady - Graphic Designerhttps://www.instagram.com/gradydesign/

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    30 June 2025, 12:00 am
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