Many couples deal with a variety of intimacy blockers, resulting in diminished intimacy and erosion of passion. In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, host Alexandra Stockwell MD, delves into this topic with guests Dr. Alison Ash and Sebastian Clark. The discussion covers key aspects of intimate relationships including attachment styles, boundaries, and ways to sustain meaningful connection. They offer actionable strategies to overcome barriers like emotional discomfort, attachment challenges, and misperceptions of failure. Drawing from personal experiences and professional expertise, they unpack the psychology of sexual dynamics, explore how to shift from feeling pressure to enjoying connection, and share practical techniques to nurture lasting passion and fulfillment in long-term relationships.

Also in this episode:

• Intimate relationships serve as potent avenues for personal growth, providing unique opportunities for self-discovery and development.

• Managing pressure in sexual encounters involves recognizing and naming feelings, allowing partners to alleviate stress and foster genuine connection.

• Understanding distinct attachment styles and boundaries significantly contributes to a relationship's health and longevity.

About the Guests: Dr. Alison Ash, known as Dr. Aly, is a trauma-informed intimacy coach, educator, and author, as well as a Stanford University Lecturer. With a PhD in Sociology from Stanford, Dr. Aly has deep expertise in the societal challenges that contribute to disempowering and unsatisfying intimate experiences. She is the founder of TurnON.love, a platform dedicated to empowering individuals and couples through intimacy coaching and education. Dr. Aly brings extensive training in Hakomi Mindful Somatic Psychotherapy, the Innate Somatic Intelligence Trauma Therapy Approach, and the Somatica Method to help her clients navigate complex emotional landscapes.

Sebastian is a skilled sex and intimacy coach and educator with nearly two decades of experience. Trained by The Sexual Health Alliance, Seb specializes in helping individuals, particularly those who are neurodiverse, express their needs and cultivate healthy relationships. His work centers on trauma-informed approaches to communication, intimacy, and nervous system regulation. Together, Dr. Aly and Seb empower people to create fulfilling and authentic intimate experiences with compassion and understanding.

Check out Dr. Aly's upcoming Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills course at www.TurnON.love/intimacy. Use the discount code "intimatemarriage" for $75 off!

For her Sustainable Intimacy course visit www.TurnON.love/sustainable-intimacy.

For on-demand workshops visit www.TurnON.love/workshops

Finally for intimacy coaching, visit www.TurnON.love/coaching

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Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell MD talks about the unique challenges high-achieving couples face when it comes to relating intimately. She shares the story of “Shauna” and “Eric,” two successful physicians who struggle to connect with one another when it comes to intimacy, despite having aligned values and compatibility in other areas. While telling their story Dr. Alexandra highlights the unique challenges high-achieving couples face when balancing career and relationship fulfillment–in the process offering solutions anyone can implement.

Also in this episode:

• High-achieving couples give themselves to their careers and often require intentional focus to maintain emotional and sexual intimacy.

• Successful marriages require both partners to prioritize elite communication and emotional depth.

• Going far beyond traditional gender roles involves both partners stepping up and contributing to relational responsibility

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Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

Practical insights for cultivating strong, intimate relationships is the focus for this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Alexandra Stockwell, MD, and Meygan and Casey Caston, founders of Marriage365. The Castons share their remarkable journey from the brink of divorce to becoming relatable, trusted authorities in marital communication. Driven by their own search for healthier relationship tools, they discuss the origins of Marriage365, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and effective communication as cornerstones of a successful marriage. Along the way, they provide actionable strategies for navigating challenges like dealing with in-laws and setting personalized boundaries. Highlighting the value of tailoring boundaries to each couple's needs, they offer tips such as developing unique "code words" and guidelines for sharing personal matters--it’s a must-listen for couples wanting to deepen their connection.

Also in this episode:

• For effective conflict resolution, learn how to pause difficult conversations while they are still productive, and revisit them later.

• Utilize "code words" or pre-planned signals with your partner to navigate uncomfortable social situations or family gatherings.

• Establish clear boundaries around what personal information is shared with family members.

Learn how to navigate these differences, foster connection, and create a thriving, intimate relationship without sacrificing your individuality. 

Listen now for actionable insights and transformative advice: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/102-when-your-partner-isnt-into-personal-growth-the-intimate-marriage-podcast/

About the Guests:

Just three years into their marriage, the founders of Marriage365 Casey & Meygan Caston found themselves at rock bottom—voted the couple least likely to succeed and on the brink of divorce. With no affordable or accessible resources to guide them, they struggled through trial and error to rebuild their connection and restore their relationship. That journey became the inspiration for Marriage365, a platform designed to help couples around the world reconnect and thrive. Today, their app and website provide practical tools, advice, and inspiration to millions, creating a safe, accessible space for personal and relational growth. Their mission is to ensure that everyone, regardless of money or privilege, has access to the resources they need to build healthier relationships. Learn more at www.marriage365.com or follow them on Instagram @marriage365

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

Answering audience questions, in this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD, talks about ways to experience more satisfaction in bed, tapping into your orgasmic potential, while accessing passion and nurturing intimacy in your relationship. She responds to questions from women struggling with their sexuality who want to improve their orgasmic experiences. She offers personalized strategies to embrace body awareness, cultivate erotic flow, and enhance satisfaction through mindfulness and presence. Whether you resonate with the questions or not, the answers are sure to be beneficial as Dr. Alexandra describes intentional practices that bring renewed joy, energy, and fulfillment to any intimate relationship.

Also in this episode:

• Techniques such as mindfulness and 'edging' aids in achieving richer sexual experiences.

• Open communication and playfulness are key components for maintaining a deep connection in marriage.

• Being present in the moment enhances erotic experiences and leads to more fulfilling orgasms.

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

Healthy relationships involve a transition from codependence to interdependence. In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD dives into the foundations of healthy relationships and what it takes to create them. She starts by addressing the (very common) situation where one partner's emotions heavily influence the other's well-being. Throughout the episode, Dr. Alexandra outlines how independence, codependence, and interdependence shape relationship dynamics, while emphasizing the importance of establishing boundaries that respect each partner's personal autonomy, while also nurturing a collaborative, passionate connection. Delving into the art of boundary-setting, she highlights the critical role of self-awareness and personal responsibility in fostering lasting, fulfilling partnerships. 

Also in this episode:

• Setting and maintaining boundaries is crucial for transitioning from codependence to interdependence.

• Effective communication about personal desires and boundaries significantly enhances relationship satisfaction.

• Understanding one's own desires and taking responsibility for their fulfillment is essential in a healthy partnership.

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

Susan Bratton joins Alexandra Stockwell, MD, on the Intimate Marriage Podcast, to explore the concept of arousal, arousal differences and the art of intimate relating. They discuss the complexities of sexual and emotional fulfillment in long-term relationships, offering practical advice, and describing innovative techniques designed to reignite passion. Susan highlights the significance of recognizing the innate differences in male and female arousal patterns and addresses the negative impact societal repression has on sexual health. She introduces powerful tools such as yoni massage and making small offers to help couples cultivate a deeper, more satisfying connection. In sharing these strategies, Dr. Alexandra and Susan guide listeners on a transformative journey setting out with routine sexual experiences and arriving at ecstatic pleasure.

Also in this episode:

• Deepen your understanding of the difference between a man’s quicker arousal patterns and a woman’s need for safety as doing so is crucial for mutual satisfaction.

• A vibrant and varied sex life is possible in monogamous relationships by focusing on mutual understanding and innovative practices.

• Communication is key to evolving sexual experiences, including verbal exchange about desires and physical responses to what is happening.

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The following Intimate Marriage Podcast episodes are referenced in the episode:

1. Understanding the Complexity of Sexual Differences Between Men and Women – A deep dive into arousal differences and how understanding them can enhance intimacy. Listen Now

2. Embodied Sexuality: Connecting with Your Partner Through Satisfying Experiences – Discover how to foster a more fulfilling connection with your partner. Listen Now

Explore, connect, and transform your relationship today

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD, explores the effects of porn addiction with a man in his twenties who became addicted in fourth grade. In a candid and revealing discussion, this anonymous guest shares the impact on his intimate relationships in adulthood. The conversation delves into the complexities of porn’s influence, highlighting initial exposure at a young age, his subsequent struggle with addiction, and the profound impact it has had on his real-life experiences with women. This conversation is remarkable because it addresses the hidden challenges many face privately, while evoking the intersection of addiction, intimacy, and personal growth. In a society where pornography is both pervasive and shrouded in secrecy and shame, this episode sheds light on its significant impact. Dr. Alexandra and her guest emphasize the importance of genuine connection and open communication for fulfillment in intimate relationships. 

Also in this episode:

• Exposure to pornography at a young age is complicated and profoundly affects perceptions of women, intimacy and relationships.

• Changes in a sexual relationship over time are natural; communication is key to adapting and maintaining intimacy.

• Open conversations about pornography, without guilt and shame, foster mutual understanding and healthier relationship dynamics.

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD, dives into how intimacy coaching profoundly transforms relationships. She identifies common misconceptions prevalent in traditional counseling methods, and highlights the critical roles of authenticity and emotional connection in achieving marital success. By shifting the focus from behavior modification to fostering confidence, curiosity, and deeper connection, Dr. Alexandra gives the recipe for how educated, successful individuals can elevate their romantic lives. In the process, she outlines the significant benefits of intimacy coaching experienced by smart, high-achieving couples wanting to elevate their relationships. She describes what you can do to ignite both emotional and physical intimacy, emphasizing the importance of enjoying your relationship journey rather than simply aiming to reach a destination.

Also in this episode:

• Intimacy coaching focuses on cultivating emotional connection and authenticity, rather than prioritizing behavior modification.

• Successful individuals learn to apply their winning strategies to enhance their romantic relationships. Rather than making yourself smaller, Dr. Alexandra will teach you to build on your strengths and successes, something oddly lacking with most counseling methods.

• The Aligned and Hot Marriage Program offers universal principles adaptable to any couple looking to elevate their relationship.

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD, explores playfulness in intimacy, discussing the use of costumes and role play to re-ignite the marital spark and enrich sexual encounters. It’s an especially timely topic with Halloween around the corner. Familiar roles in the bedroom tend to limit sexual expression-breaking free from them through embodying new personas can help couples deepen their connection and discover new aspects of their personalities. 

Dr. Stockwell shares real-life examples of couples who transformed their intimacy through role play. She notes that Halloween creates the perfect occasion to strengthen emotional and physical bonds through engaging in imaginative exploration, in ways that enhance your sexual repertoire.

Also in this episode:

• Embracing playful exploration invites unexpressed aspects of one's personality into the bedroom, thus enriching the partnership.

• There is an important distinction between healthy roleplay and the misuse of power dynamics.

• Expanding self-expression is not limited to the bedroom and everyday interactions benefit as well.

Mindfold Blindfold – Perfect for Halloween Intimacy Elevate your intimacy with the Mindfold Blindfold; it offers a total blackout experience that is ideal for enjoying sensory play and enhancing intimate encounters. Whatever new elements you add to your intimate moments, the Mindfold Blindfold is the perfect tool to ignite your imagination and deepen your erotic connection.

Mindfold Blindfold

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD, explores how to strengthen desire in long-term relationships by cultivating deeper intimacy and passion. She begins by highlighting the contrast between the brain regions responsible for daily functionality and those that fuel emotional and sensual connections. Dr. Alexandra explains how educated and successful individuals can transcend mere functionality in marriage to achieve both emotional and erotic fulfillment. She emphasizes the significance of non-sexual touch, sharing new experiences, and giving erotic attention to one's partner. 

Also in this episode:

• Engaging in new activities as a couple breaks routine patterns and introduces excitement and novelty, strengthening the bond. 

• Simple, affectionate touches without the expectation of sex builds intimacy and comfort, making partners feel more connected. 

• Paying focused and admiring attention to a partner significantly enhances intimacy and sexual desire.  Attending to feelings and sensations, both physical and emotional, is critical for deepening romantic connections.

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD, delves into the challenges couples face when aiming to rekindle erotic passion and shares her perspective on how to maintain a passionate, intimate relationship over the years. Dr. Alexandra addresses a listener's heartfelt question about whether it's even possible to reignite the erotic spark in a marriage, especially when young children and life's demands take center stage. She emphasizes the importance of both partners being committed to the quality of their connection and offers practical advice for couples, particularly for men, on how to revive intimacy that has waned. This includes carving out dedicated time for closeness, engaging all the senses to foster connection and excitement, and maintaining open, non-blaming communication to deepen emotional bonds.

Also in this episode:

• Both partners must be fully invested in rekindling their intimate life. If one isn't ready, it's important to address and process any grievance about that in a healthy way, which includes finding out if the other partner wants to focus on this in the future. 

• Let intimacy develop naturally through sensory engagement and emotional connection, rather than rushing into sexual activity.

• For a deeper connection, engage all five senses—sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Set aside regular, dedicated time for intimacy, free from daily distractions, to focus entirely on one another.

• Honest, non-blaming conversations about needs and desires are key to understanding each other and reigniting the passion in your relationship. This helps create a safe space for emotional and physical closeness.

Mindfold Blindfolds:  https://amzn.to/3cUUiib

Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book

Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com

Join Dr. Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe

This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact