Make Your Damn Bed
Julie Merica
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- 10 minutes 12 seconds1733 || healthy shame is not a threat
It’s not about eliminating all sources of shame, but aligning with the confidence that you’re able to handle it effectively.
In the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw, he compares shame to a “demonic” presence that takes over our whole being. I think this is a valuable analogy, because the presence leaves very little room for our conscious response, if we don’t recognize where we end and the “demon of shame” begins. Toxic shame is a liar. It’s a menace. In order to exercise these demons, we must address them head on.
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8 April 2026, 4:01 am - 10 minutes 12 seconds1732 || authenticity is a practice, not a discovery || heal the shame that binds you
you're not "finding" an authentic self, but rather, practicing ease and comfort when you feel it.
"as soon as she touches the water, she is immediately transformed into the most graceful creature."
find the water of your own belonging.
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7 April 2026, 4:01 am - 10 minutes 31 seconds1731 || love yourself unconditionally || heal the shame that binds you
dealing with rejection can feel impossible for people with internalized, toxic shame. there are rarely absolutes. life exists mostly in the gray area. not all good and not all bad.
people will go to extremes to avoid toxic shame, so they will force themselves to make it "either/or" when it may be healthier to think that things are "both/and"
it comes back to giving your "true self" unconditional love and respect.
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6 April 2026, 4:01 am - 10 minutes 6 seconds1730 || decenter your mistakes || heal the shame that binds
When you make a mistake and feel vulnerable, the best response is to acknowledge and repair. Don't harbor more shame. The mistakes are inevitable. You highlighting them makes the mistake seem like something worth worshipping, not something to learn from.
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4 April 2026, 4:01 am - 10 minutes 59 seconds1729 || making mistakes doesn't mean you are one
stop being so hard on yourself!! YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES.
Mistakes are simply feedback. Listen, take responsibility when needed, and adapt!!!! It's all part of the process.
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3 April 2026, 4:01 am - 11 minutes 28 seconds1728 || positive brainwashing || healing the shame that binds you
You really are worth it. There has never been anyone like you. Nor will there ever be anyone like you again. You are unique, unrepeatable and of precious worth. - John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2 April 2026, 4:01 am - 11 minutes 18 seconds1727 || common thought distortions
common cognitive distortions among shame-based people include: catastrophizing, mind-reading, all-or-nothing or either-or thinking, personalization, blaming, global blaming, filtering, cognitive bias affirmations, control thinking fallacies, "should" thinking, over generalizations, etc.
to combat this we must: become active listeners, abandon comparison, abandon "shoulds" and absolutes. focus on curiosity and flexibility. create more space for "unknowns".
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1 April 2026, 4:01 am - 12 minutes 30 seconds1726 || grief work || healing the shame that binds you
Grief work: identify, build awareness, re-route with corrective responses.
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
31 March 2026, 4:01 am - 11 minutes 24 seconds1725 || set your own anchor + ride the wave
Shame spirals tend to attach themselves to certain triggers or anchors we have created from our past experiences. If we are able to create safe, corrective anchors to attach to these triggers, we can avoid the spirals and instead, learn to ride the waves.
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
30 March 2026, 4:01 am - 10 minutes 4 seconds1724 || delayed grief || healing the shame that binds you
delayed grief is how we end up creating false selves. it's our job to grieve fully, so we can release the attachments to our denial. connectedness, validation, and support are the way through.
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
27 March 2026, 4:01 am - 10 minutes 26 seconds1723 || connection is the antidote || healing the shame that binds you
in order to be healed, we must come out of isolation.
identity formation is a social process, so unraveling toxic shame is also a social process. - John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw's website.
Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.
Read Julie's Medium Blog.
Support JULIE (and the show!)
Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.
Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.
Info on War Tax Resistance.
Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
26 March 2026, 4:01 am - More Episodes? Get the App