There are no bad parts, only parts that need to be integrated.

SOURCE:

https://www.enotalone.com/article/mental-health/therapy/10-tips-to-harmonize-your-inner-world-with-ifs-therapy-r13980/

https://www.mentallyfitpro.com/c/free-therapy-worksheets/internal-family-systems-worksheets

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This is a re-release.

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This episode is a re-release.

"This is the economy now. Not a distribution of opportunity. A redistribution of friction. But friction isn’t the enemy!!!! It’s information. It tells us where things are straining and where care is needed and where attention should go.

And it's not all bad news. Because friction is also where new systems can emerge. Every broken interface, every overloaded professor, every delayed flight is pointing to something that could be rebuilt with actual intention."

THE SOURCE: https://kyla.substack.com/p/the-most-valuable-commodity-in-the

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In the therapy aspect you tend to work on learning to sit with each of the parts, hearing and respecting their roles, so you can better understand your own system and how to work alongside it. 

1. centered self: Compassionate, curious, calm, clear, courageous, confident, creative, connected. Present, patient, playful, persistent, and keeps perspective 
2. Exiles: wounded and carrying pain. Abandonment, fear, loneliness, shame, anxious, 
3. Protectors: firefighters and managers. Firefighters deal with immediate threats, Distract, avoid, dissociate, Mangers work to keep you from future problems. Hyper-vigilant, avoidant, 
4. The goal is to access the qualities of the Centered self to work with these wounded parts to 

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Similarly to the Pixar movie, INSIDE OUT, where her emotions are portrayed as totally different characters that experience different experiences and roles and access different memories. In IFS therapy, they refer to these characters as parts. A majority of your parts will take on protective roles, he uses the example of managers and firefighters, but other parts carry pain or trauma from past experiences, exiles, but crucially, there are NO BAD PARTS. 

In the therapy aspect you tend to work on learning to sit with each of the parts, hearing and respecting their roles, so you can better understand your own system and how to work alongside it. 

1. centered self: Compassionate, curious, calm, clear, courageous, confident, creative, connected. Present, patient, playful, persistent, and keeps perspective 
2. Exiles: wounded and carrying pain. Abandonment, fear, loneliness, shame, anxious, 
3. Protectors: firefighters and managers. Firefighters deal with immediate threats, Distract, avoid, dissociate, Mangers work to keep you from future problems. Hyper-vigilant, avoidant, 
4. The goal is to access the qualities of the Centered self to work with these wounded parts to 

SOURCE:

1. https://www.ceangail.ie/blog/tips-for-starting-internal-family-systems
2. https://ifs-institute.com/
3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy

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 the challenge of the unknown > the disappoint of the familiar 

you have to change some variables if you're trying a new experiment

Study what you avoid. What makes you scared to act. Defensiveness is often protecting you from something you are afraid to face, but if you face it, you may realize your guard being up against it was the biggest hurdle. 

Leverage your effort into longterm upkeep of all the goodness in your life. Small repeated actions are what add up to create your life, so don’t let it pass you by waiting for it to arrive.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change." - Charles Darwin 

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If you look for the beauty in the world, you will see it in everything. The light, the sounds, the smells, the feelings. If you look for the horrors, you’ll see it in everything, too. Focus on the light so you can create and become more of it. 

Study what you avoid. What makes you scared to act. Defensiveness is often protecting you from something you are afraid to face, but if you face it, you may realize your guard being up against it was the biggest hurdle. 

Leverage your effort into longterm upkeep of all the goodness in your life. Small repeated actions are what add up to create your life, so don’t let it pass you by waiting for it to arrive. 

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

To love someone else is easy, but to love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron: it burns into you and that is very painful. Therefore, to love somebody else in the first place is always an escape which we all hope for, and we all enjoy it when we are capable of it. But in the long run, it comes back on us. You cannot stay away from yourself forever, you have to return, have to come to that experiment, to know whether you really can love. That is the question-whether you can love yourself, and that will be the test. - CARL JUNG

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Travel reminds you that this ISN'T the only possibility. There are other lives available to you. You CAN do things differently. The world is NOT cold, just because the corrupt politicians are.

SOURCE: https://college.taylors.edu.my/en/student-life/news/2025/the-neuroscience-of-travel-how-exploring-new-places-rewires-your-brain.

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Lasting motivation requires three conditions:

1. A sense of competence
2. A sense of relatedness
3. A sense of autonomy or the felt experience that your actions are genuinely your own

But there is a difference between consultative decision-making and approval-dependent motivation. In the first, you gather input and then decide, with the locus of commitment sitting inside you. In the second, the decision itself waits to be made by someone else’s reaction, and so does your energy.

FIX IT WITH:

1. Values clarification
2. Tiny actions that align with those values

THE SOURCE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202607/1-habit-that-kills-motivation-for-most-adults

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1. Don't resist tough emotions, but don't live there. 
2. Provide yourself with more time for REST. Don't stress about productivity at this time. 
3. Set FIRM boundaries. 
4. Allow space and deal with the withdrawal symptoms. 
5. Clear + reset your space. 
6. Reflect for future you. 
7. Reflect on underlying needs that your choices are compensating for.
8. Show yourself the care + empathy you're saving for your ex.
9. Don't take shit so personally.
10. Allow different timelines + perceptions of the situation to exist.
11. Believe this is all working out for your highest good. Even the painful bits.
12. Focus on controlling YOUR timeline, not theirs.

You are worthy of the most amazing, real love. Don’t ever settle for less. 

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

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1. Don't resist tough emotions, but don't live there.
2. Provide yourself with more time for REST. Don't stress about productivity at this time.
3. Set FIRM boundaries.
4. Allow space and deal with the withdrawal symptoms.
5. Clear + reset your space.
6. Reflect for future you.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.