This week the hags are away and bringing you a favorite from the Poog archive: A Zero Involved.

A masseuse in Kate’s home reminds her of the necessity of addressing the angels and eating pears. New blocks are located, while Jacqueline scrambles pancakes. What else does one put in a dishwasher? Phone call avoidance and the myths of protein. The hours you’re asleep still count, but where does it start? A math lesson leaves Kate feeling seen.

Poog is at the doctor’s office this week, as Kate visualizes her partner and mother for safety during a neck angio CT scan. Jacqueline is at the hotel she never has to check out of — her parents’ house. The idea of a single tit when the robe opens. Is the valet not fundamentally validated? The stench of B vitamins, the presence of a mini fridge, and a drink likely pulled from a barrel. Kate tries an old lip stain while her daughters sleep over at Sephora. Stand up to blend in. Jacqueline evokes the alienated figure with thoughts of working out at her mom and dad’s gym. A mosquito bite makes summer official and there will be no caffeine past noon. Poor girl.

Are you aware that your site is down? Jacqueline calls in from her Toronto tour stop and the meds are running out, while Kate is podcasting from the neighborhood fishbowl. Eating in front of the TV, coffee tables and cold cream. The hags map out a year in Spain... but has it been Canada the whole time? Always a buyer, never a seller. Jacqueline explains how to wash underwear in a Nespresso machine. The saga of gel manicures and Storage Wars. Kate decants for a dirty day and takes a long walk to a little weed shop. Planetary talk and stage sweat. Jacqueline reacts to an update on Jerry Maguire. You can’t put a price on peace of mind. 

The nectarines were not ripe, nor were the figs sweet. Recent weeks have seen the hags confronted with uncharmable doctors and unruly hecklers. Jacqueline recounts stories from her day job at the FBI and Kate’s full-body scan results are in. Illness, the corner restaurant and a double date to The Odyssey. Sometimes the doctor agrees with your diagnosis. 

This week on Poog, we're bringing you another round of the hags' most formative moments: Jacqueline teaches Kate the Pallbearer Shuffle. The uppermost Pringle is considered. Shopping in Target before a cameo on Bonks That Kill. A technique for social media moderation is proposed. Jacqueline sings a little ditty about Jack and Diane, while Kate’s LAX uber gets stolen by a Brody Jenner look-alike. 

This week on Poog, we're bringing you a collection of some of the hags' most formative moments: Mornings could be huge. It was mushrooms the whole time. Movie theatre epiphanies and medical-grade ugliness. Lying about Juilliard and being a young prodigy.

The Habit covers everything but the face. Jacqueline reflects on the self-authority lockdowns produced, while Kate revisits the birthplace of Poog. A honey and milk scrub conjures fears of dissection. Awards for ghost kitchens through the lens of fertility and zits in a line. Jacqueline shares the results of a skin check. Placebo works, folks! Drawing the blinds and doing incantations over tofu — don’t bring fixation into someone else’s energy field. Memories of the Russian banya, marbled skin and tending by other hands. This could go bigger than Youtube.

I work nights! This week on Poog, we're bringing you our favorite moments when Kate just...made things up. Whether to avoid a friend, defuse a fight, or to just have some fun — Kate's getting creative with the truth and Jacqueline's analyzing why she can't get enough of it.

Entering the stage in character. This week, hags are dropped in as Kate walks and Jacqueline cooks. Both hotel rudeness and home deliveries abound. Tofu strategies and the origins of Dimes Square. Jacqueline pinpoints the tough thing about all products and services, though foot nor shoe should sticky laminate meet. Kate spots husband-wife hags and five-broom rankings are doled out to some, while others are riding til the rails come off. There’s no interest in the rooftop roast or the small-potted cactus. It’s not random.

Nerves cringe, fear wells up inside and doubt floods the way. A man arrives at Kate’s door and Jacqueline delivers a monologue. Unearthing the long lost comedy club cheque and dirty underwear — the hags are already convinced the saffron is working. Youtube is up on Kate’s TV, while Jacqueline is turning her’s off. Reading aloud on the ADD balance board, tea has always been the answer. Are you obsessed? A tale of a road hag is told, while Kate queries the nighttime numbness. You can't call a hair twice but three taps always calms the spirit. Kate is called to receive her dreams. Overriding the coin flip, for the sake of flowers. 

This week, Jacqueline’s on eastern time while Kate holds it down in pacific. The kind of pain others can see and ceaseless reinvention. When the computer takes the long way home and the case for stealing at the airport. Barfing in Denver, intuitive booking and full-body scans. A hard brush the morning before the dentist... when sickness hits. The Yogurt Shop Murders and harrowing Uber rides, galore. Good rapport, driving too fast. Jacqueline recalls slowly rolling into something and Kate can’t just be dressed up in some guy’s car. Break a leg, bitch.

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