- 1 hour 7 minutesCourtney Act is Eminently Keen with Trixie and Katya
In today's class, myriad topics of interest and erudition will be covered, but first we shall crack open Miss Act's Rules of Grace and Refinement Vol. 1, beginning with the phrase, “Are you keen?” The word 'keen' derives its romantic force from the ancient adjective meaning 'eager' or 'interested'. By the twentieth century, however, especially in colloquial British vernacular, “keen on” had become an informal shorthand for affection and/or erotic preference, thereby avoiding the vulgarity and bluntness of directly discussing acts of love-making. In contemporary 2026 dating parlance, “Are you keen?” has become synonymous with the more direct question, "May we at some point this evening be inside each other?" Class dismissed. There will be a quiz.
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
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- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
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- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
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Listen and Watch Anywhere!
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5 May 2026, 7:00 am - 55 minutes 38 secondsThank you for Choosing Bald Airlines with Trixie and Katya
Ladies and gentlemen, as we taxi to the gate we'd like to thank you for choosing Bald Airlines, where every seat is first class and includes botox, estate planning, legally-binding mortuary consultation, a yacht sommelier, and a complimentary Fabergé pelvic floor egg. Please take a moment to check your overhead bins for any personal belongings, and don't forget to take your live harpist with you as you deplane. On behalf of all of us here at Bald Airlines, we hope you’ll avoid the humiliation of interacting with the proletariat and instead fly with us again very soon. Bald Airlines: Where Every Seat is First Class, Because Economy is a Hate Crime.
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
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- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
- To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT
- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
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- To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour
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#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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28 April 2026, 7:00 am - 1 hour 13 minutesKristen Schaal and the Science of "Bricked" with Katya
According to the newly-published Schaal-Zamo Compendium of Physiological Sex Stuff, "Bricked" (or "Briqued" as it is colloquially known for females) is a coordinated bio-psycho-physiologic process involving cognition, limbic activation, involuntary nervous response, and extremely localized arousal of genital tissues, primarily with, but not limited to, the Pee Pee and the Vee Vee. In males, nitric oxide is released within the corpora cavernosa, causing smooth muscle relaxation, increased arterial inflow, and the glorious phenomenon of penile tumescence, all in the hopes of attaining orgasm and ejaculation, not necessarily in that order. In females, arousal commonly includes vaso-congestion of the clitoris and labia, lubricated via plasma transudation, and the ever-so-slightly-tumescent expansion of genital and pelvic tissues. Arousal within all humans is multidimensional rather than purely genital, as it can be facilitated by both sensory input and cognition, typically when butts, boobies, purple-helmeted love warriors, and quivering mounds of sex pudding are present. In conclusion, Dr's Schaal and Zamo contend that to be bricked, is indeed, to be alive.
Go to Kristen's Instagram Bio for links to the 3 L.A. shows of her play, "The Legend of Crystal Shell": https://www.instagram.com/k.schaal/
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
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- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
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- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
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Listen and Watch Anywhere!
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#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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21 April 2026, 7:00 am - 1 hour 4 minutesBobby and the Ice Queens with Trixie and Katya
Premiering this Summer off off off Broadway, it's "Bobby & the Ice Queens"! From a fired usher at "Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark" comes the glitter-drenched fever dream no sane theater critic saw coming: a disco-soaked, high-kicking spectacle about Robert Khennady Jr., a wealthy socialite from a famous family by day, a debaucherous nose-candy-sniffing creature by night! Bobby tears through the 70s and 80s in the first act with a blizzard of Studio 54 chaos, toilet-seat-snorting bedlam, and enough raw wealth and privilege to frost the entire Eastern Seaboard. Starring Timothée Chalamet's pilates instructor as Bobby, the sheer insanity erupts into an even more deranged second act, where the stage lights blaze on a chorus line of dancing measles, a rock-tinged raw-milk gospel revival chorus, and a hellfire tap number that denounces fluoride as the very mouthwash of Satan himself! In a spectacle of pure sparkling lunacy, Bobby is swept into a torrid, torch-song love affair with a sexy brain worm so hot, so seductive, and so codependent it gets its very own curtain call. Just when the audience thinks the madness has peaked, the orchestra detonates into a scandal-soaked Central Park fantasia involving a dead bear, a city in shock, and free teriyaki bear jerky under every audience-member's seat! It is monstrous, majestic, and unapologetically unwell; just like the times we're living in. This rhinestone apocalypse of sin, camp, and scandal will leave Broadway gasping for air and begging for more. Get your tickets now!
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
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- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
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- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
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Listen and Watch Anywhere!
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#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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14 April 2026, 7:00 am - 56 minutes 13 secondsAn Open Letter to the Emmys with Trixie and Katya
Dearest esteemed leadership of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. We respectfully and fervently request the honor of serving as presenters for the Lead Actress category during the primetime telecast of the 2027 Emmy Awards: roles for which we have physically, cosmetically, and emotionally been preparing for our entire lives. Given the extraordinary performances from Lisa Kudrow in The Comeback and Jean Smart in Hacks, we can scarcely imagine a greater privilege than to stand at that glistening podium, maintain impeccable posture, and display our genetically-natural beauty and elegance without incident or visible flop sweat. We hereby earnestly and unapologetically plead that you include us in the live primetime ceremony, as we would approach this responsibility with reverence and solemnity, and nary a whiff of our typically-bawdy senses of humor. With deepest admiration for the Academy and operatic hope for your favorable consideration, we remain faithfully yours, Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamo; already practicing our teleprompter-reading and envelope-opening skills in preparation for your call.
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo
- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
- To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT
- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
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Listen and Watch Anywhere!
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Follow Katya:
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Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo
#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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7 April 2026, 7:00 am - 49 minutes 53 secondsA Triumph of Pure Delight with Trixie and Katya
What you are about to hear is the absolute apex of what humanity has frequently referred to as "joy." The following sixty-ish minutes of audio and video are a glorious, overflowing symphony of happiness so immense it almost seems too dazzling for this earthly plane. It is delight at its most majestic and uncontained, brimming with an ecstatic brightness that will make every corner of your spirit feel lit from within with the glow of sparkling merriment. This episode is the very essence of glee itself, gathered into sound and images that represent joy at its highest, fullest form: radiant, triumphant, and so extravagantly alive that it will no doubt bring you and anyone else within earshot to an auditory climax you shall never forget.
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
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- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
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- To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour
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Listen and Watch Anywhere!
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#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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31 March 2026, 7:00 am - 59 minutes 40 secondsThe Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya
Ms. Trixie Mattel and Ms. Katya Zamo kindly request the distinguished honor of your presence at their most magnificent nuptial celebration, where the theme shall be "Baroque Techno Jurassic Gothic Cyborg Barbie Vampire." It will be held at the abandoned Hawthorne Plaza Mall in Hawthorne, CA, where the decor shall scream "gilded ruin of Baroque splendor where pink-hued creatures of the night have mated with cyborgs in orgiastic bliss." Guests are respectfully encouraged to appear in formal attire befitting the evening’s vision, namely Gothic court dress enriched with jewel tones, polished mechanical adornments, vampiric elegance, prehistoric accents, and, if one feels so moved, a whisper of pink-tinged old Hollywood glamour. A supper and bar of darkly splendid delicacies and rosy, probiotic blood-orange libations shall be served post-ceremony. Please feel free to visit our registry at The Sharper Image and make sure to RSVP no later than April 1st.
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
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- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
- To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT
- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
- If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
- To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour
- To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com
Listen and Watch Anywhere!
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Follow Trixie:
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Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo
#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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24 March 2026, 7:00 am - 55 minutes 59 secondsThe Squirtle Spurtle with Trixie and Katya
If you thought oatmeal recipes couldn't be sensual, you'd be dead wrong. Dim the lights, burn that bergamot arousal candle from your cousin's bachelorette party, and bring 1 cup of steel-cut oats to a slow, smoldering simmer in 4 cups of creamy, luscious whole milk. Add just a pinch of sea salt, and let the ingredients relax into a luscious, velvet-thick porridge so opulent it's no wonder this recipe won the World Porridge Making Championship. Once you achieve the ideal level of viscosity, stir in 2 tablespoons of sweet brown sugar, 2 tablespoons of hot melted butter, a dash of vanilla, and a deliciously decadent pour of heavy cream. Finish with toasted walnuts, a molten ribbon of sticky honey, and bejeweled raspberries whose tart sparkle will slice through all that thick seduction like Trixie and Katya waxing poetic about proper air conditioning. Serve it molten, fragrant, and make sure to eat it slowly, because this is not some bleak porridge from Oliver Twist, Deborah; it's a flirtatious, butter-kissed, spoon-clutching bowl of hot breakfast filth.
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
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- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
- To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT
- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
- If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
- To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour
- To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com
Listen and Watch Anywhere!
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Follow Trixie:
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Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/trixiemattel
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Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo
#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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17 March 2026, 7:00 am - 47 minutes 42 secondsA Motherforking Clusterfluff with Trixie and Katya
Welcome back to another motherflocking, cockadoodle, son-of-a-biscuit episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, where our dolls yap their pretty little ash-offs about fame, folly, and every half-baked batshirt thought that ricochets around in their glamorous skull caverns. Listen as every ding-dang topic gets dragged through the glittery mud by two world-class gobshites armed with surgically-hilarious horseshirt opinions that make you think, "Holy shiitake mushroom she has a point." It is a full-throttle fartknuckling, crapweaseling, beefwobbling, shut-the-front-door spectacle of elegance and idiocy, so sit your bass down, shut your fishlips, and enjoy this monkey-fighting, son-of-a-nutcracker masterpiece of an episode. Yippie-kye-ay, Monsieur Trucker!
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo
- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
- To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT
- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
- If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
- To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour
- To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com
Listen and Watch Anywhere!
http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
Follow Trixie:
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Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/trixiemattel
Follow Katya:
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Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo
#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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10 March 2026, 7:00 am - 53 minutes 50 secondsThe Last Rites of Eternal Chaos with Trixie and Katya
You are cordially invited to attend a most distinguished yet eminently fake wake in honor of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, the undisputed queens of chaos, podcasts, and mirth. We shall convene in a chapel that smells faintly of Red Bull, stale makeup, and air conditioner refrigerant. Guests will enjoy a program of refined absurdities including a dramatic reading of Whitney Houston's 2001 BET Awards acceptance speech, a panel discussion on Taco Bell entitled, "Beans, Cheese, and Consequences," and a ceremonial burning of Katya's old hip. Attendees will encounter a tasteful lounge where retired wigs dispense movie reviews and gallon-jugs of iced coffee. The service will feature a eulogy by a Dunkin' Donuts cashier from Back Bay, culminating in the release of several doves that will immediately relieve themselves on Trixie and Katya's pink and crimson coffins. Formal mourning attire is required, though guests are strongly encouraged to incorporate elements of high camp, delusion, and inappropriate accessories that suggest you are in dire need of therapy.
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Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo
- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
- To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT
- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
- If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
- To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour
- To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com
Listen and Watch Anywhere!
http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
Follow Trixie:
Official Website: https://www.trixiemattel.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel
Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/trixiemattel
Follow Katya:
Official Website: https://www.welovekatya.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo
Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo
#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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3 March 2026, 8:00 am - 1 hour 2 minutesThis One Goes Out to All the Buttholes with Trixie and Katya
I am the ring that no laurels adorn,
A puckered little star at the edge of the form.
No medals are pinned to my tireless skin,
Yet I toil and labor each day, all from within.Through tempests of spice and fast food you regret,
The burdens the rest of the body forgets.
I clench through trials both noble and dire,
An unsung sentinel forged in fire.But even the steadfast may weary and ache,
May whisper, “Dear world, give me one gentle break”.
A balm, a rest, a moment of grace,
For I too am part of this curious place.Through trials and toil, both small and bold,
One should never overlook, even the smallest of holes.
I have found a truth both simple and fair:
Even the lowliest ring merits tenderness and care.To see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro, go to: https://Ro.co/BALD
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Join Rakuten to start saving money today! Join for free by downloading the app or going to: https://Rakuten.com
Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel
Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo
- To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
- To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipYT
- Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
- If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
- To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com/#tour
- To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com
Listen and Watch Anywhere!
http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast
Follow Trixie:
Official Website: https://www.trixiemattel.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@trixie
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel
Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/trixiemattel
Follow Katya:
Official Website: https://www.welovekatya.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo
Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo
#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful
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24 February 2026, 8:00 am - More Episodes? Get the App