Painful sex is common, but it’s not normal and it’s definitely not something you just have to live with. In this episode, we’re joined by Kristen Damery, a pelvic health physical therapist and the founder of Lava lube, to break down what’s actually happening in the body when sex hurts. We talk about muscles, nerves, lubrication, stress, and why so many people are dismissed or misunderstood when they bring this up to doctors.

We Cover:

• Why painful sex is so often misunderstood. Kristen explains why pain during sex is frequently minimized, misdiagnosed, or written off as “normal.”
• What’s actually happening in the pelvic floor. How tension, weakness, and coordination issues can all contribute to pain.
• The role of the nervous system in sexual pain. Why stress, anxiety, and anticipation can cause the body to brace before penetration even happens.
• Different types of pain and what they can mean. Burning, stabbing, pressure, dryness, or deep pain and why the type of pain matters.
• Why lubrication alone isn’t always the solution. How dryness, friction, tissue health, and muscle response all interact.
• How pelvic PT helps retrain the body. What pelvic health physical therapy actually looks like and how it supports healing, comfort, and confidence.
• Why pain during sex is not a personal failure. How shame and self-blame make symptoms worse and why pain is a body signal, not a flaw.
• When to seek support and what to ask for. How to advocate for yourself and find providers who actually understand pelvic pain.
• Tools to support comfort and pleasure. Kristen shares practical tips for reducing pain, improving lubrication, and making sex feel safer and more enjoyable.

Get Lava for 25% off with code DEWME!

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: "I'm a 35yo woman who’s been married to a really good guy for the last seven years. He never pressures me or anything, but every time I don’t want sex, I instantly feel like i’m being a shitty wife. I know that’s some leftover ‘good girl / keep your man happy’ garbage, but the guilt is still really loud. How do I stop feeling like I’m failing him every time I’m not horny?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why you never owe anyone sex. Why consent and desire are required every single time, even in a loving and committed marriage.
• Where the guilt comes from. How “good girl conditioning” teaches us to prioritize a partner’s pleasure over our own boundaries.
• Obligation sex vs wanted sex. Why a supportive partner should only want intimacy you are genuinely excited about, not sex given out of pressure.
• How guilt impacts pleasure and connection. How anxiety, obligation, and performance mindset shut down arousal and make sex feel high stakes.
• What happens when you keep overriding your no’s. Why ignoring your boundaries leads to resentment, disconnect, and a shrinking desire for sex.
• Rewriting what it means to be a good partner. Why your value is not based on a penis ejaculating, and how honoring your needs strengthens intimacy.
• How to support your own desire and autonomy. Tools and mindset shifts to release pressure, protect your no’s, and show up with real desire when it is there.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

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Traditional Chinese medicine looks at your sex life very differently than Western medicine and honestly, it’s VERY refreshing. In this episode, we’re joined by Jaiming Ju, a 2nd-generation Chinese medicine practitioner and founder of Kun Health, to talk about how TCM understands libido, pain during sex, ED, arousal, and overall sexual wellbeing. We get into body patterns, energy balance, lifestyle habits, and what your symptoms are actually trying to tell you.

We cover:

• How Chinese medicine understands sex and pleasure. Jaiming explains why sexual health is seen as a major indicator of overall wellbeing, not an isolated issue.
• Why pain during sex is never “just in your head”. How TCM views dryness, pelvic pain, tension, and discomfort and why it’s almost always linked to imbalance, depletion, or circulation issues.
• Understanding libido changes. How arousal, desire, and lubrication map to warmth, energy, and hormonal patterns + how aging, stress, lifestyle, and depletion impact the body.
• ED from a TCM perspective. Why erections are about circulation, warmth, and “yang energy,” and what it means when interest and performance don’t match.
• Tongue diagnosis and what it reveals about your sex life. Yes, your tongue really can show dryness, heat, coldness, stress patterns, or issues affecting libido.
• Why stress and exhaustion shut down desire. How nervous system overload, burnout, and irregular routines drain the body’s resources and impact arousal.
• Practical pleasure support from a Chinese medicine lens. Food, warmth, routines, habits, and small changes that help your body feel safer, softer, and more responsive during sex.
• How to support long-term sexual health at every age. Daily practices Jaiming recommends to maintain circulation, lubrication, desire, and overall balance.

Connect with Jaiming HERE!

Follow her on Instagram HERE!

⁠Learn more about Honeydew Me 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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In this week’s solo episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on our mental health journeys and talking about the parts we’ve never shared publicly. Cass opens up about what postpartum OCD and anxiety really looked like behind the scenes and Emma shares how her lifelong anxiety shaped the patterns she still works through today. From intrusive thoughts and panic spirals to the shame, the turning points, and the actual support that helped us get better, we’re breaking down what healing looked like in real time. It’s messy, honest, sometimes dark, and ultimately a conversation we wish we'd heard when we were in it. 

If mental health has ever knocked you on your ass (especially in early motherhood) this one is for you.

We dive into:

• What postpartum OCD and anxiety looked like behind the scenes. Cass opens up about the intrusive thoughts, fear spirals, and emotional numbness that made early motherhood feel nothing like the highlight reel she expected.
• Emma’s long-term anxiety and the patterns that came with it. Panic cycles, overwhelm, and the instinct to shut down instead of sit with big feelings.
• Why both of us struggled to admit something was off. The pressure to look fine, the fear of being judged, and the mental gymnastics we used to convince ourselves we could handle it alone.
  
• The turning points that pushed us to get help. The honest conversations, therapy breakthroughs, and moments that forced us to stop pretending.
• The support and tools that actually helped us feel better. OCD treatment programs, medication, grounding routines, and small daily habits that made life feel manageable again.
• How healing shifted our identities and relationships. Rebuilding confidence, reconnecting with our bodies, and experiencing love and connection in ways that weren’t accessible in survival mode.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content (including a downloadable that pairs PERFECTLY with this episode) HERE!

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Most of us don’t realize we’re in a toxic pattern until we’re deep in it — choosing the same partners, having the same fights, or falling into the same role over and over again. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Joy Berkheimer, psychotherapist and relationship expert, to talk about why these patterns feel so familiar, why they’re so hard to break, and how to finally choose something healthier. If you’ve ever wondered “why does this keep f*cking happening?” this conversation will hit home.

We cover:

• Why toxic patterns feel familiar and why that’s the problem. Joy breaks down why your brain and body are drawn to what they already know, even when it’s not good for you.
• How to actually recognize a pattern while you’re in it. The subtle signs and behaviors that show you’re repeating an old story.
• Why your nervous system keeps you stuck. How fear, comfort, and old survival responses pull you back into the same dynamics.
• What breaking a toxic pattern really takes. The realistic, day-to-day shifts that help you choose differently, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• How to tell if your intuition is speaking… or if it’s anxiety. Joy explains the difference so you can stop second-guessing yourself.
• What “not abandoning yourself” looks like in real relationships. How to stop minimizing your needs or shrinking to keep the peace.
• Why change feels scary, lonely, and messy. And why that discomfort is actually a sign you’re doing the work.
• How to reconnect with the version of you who knows they deserve better. Joy shares tools for rebuilding self-worth and choosing healthier connections.

Connect with Dr. Joy:

• On her website HERE!
• On Instagram HERE!

⁠Learn more about Honeydew Me 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: "My question is about breaking a negative habit. My long-term boyfriend is wonderful, patient, and always makes sure I finish, but sometimes I find myself not wanting to have sex at all because I don’t feel like giving myself the time. It’s like, “ugh, it takes too long and who has time for that?” How can I change that mindset, stop rushing my pleasure, and actually enjoy the process?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why it’s so hard to give yourself permission to take the time. And how guilt or pressure shows up even with a loving partner.
• Where the “too much work” mindset comes from. We trace it back to messages about sex, bodies, and being “easy.”
• Why it’s normal to feel impatient with your own pleasure. And how to shift out of that without forcing it.
• How to make slowing down feel good instead of awkward. Real ways to make the build-up part of the fun again.
• What to do when your brain won’t shut up during sex. Simple ways to come back to your body without overthinking.
• How to talk to your partner when you need more time. Language that feels natural, not clinical or awkward.
• Where to go from here. Check out our new ⁠1:1 coaching program⁠ and see how we can help you confidence, communicate better, and get the pleasure you deserve.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!

Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠

⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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Good relationships don’t just happen. They’re built on self-awareness, communication, and the willingness to grow. In this episode, Jordanne Sculler, LMHC, shares how to build your own relationship toolkit and start showing up with more curiosity, accountability, and intention, both with yourself and the people around you.

We Cover:

How to build your own relationship toolkit. The emotional skills and self-awareness you actually need to make relationships work.

Why self-awareness is the foundation of connection. Understanding your triggers, patterns, and needs so you can show up more intentionally.

The difference between reacting and responding. How to slow down, get grounded, and communicate instead of spiraling.

How to break out of old relationship patterns. What to look for when you keep finding yourself in the same dynamics.

The link between discomfort and growth. Why learning to sit in discomfort is essential for building emotional intimacy.

How to create emotional safety in your relationships. Tools for being honest without being defensive and how to invite that from others.

What accountability actually looks like. Why it’s not about blame, but about understanding and repair.

The importance of self-connection. How your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.

Connect with Jordanne:

• ⁠Website⁠ 

• ⁠Instagram⁠ 

Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Cass & Em? Apply HERE!

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We’re getting EXTRA personal. In this episode, we’re talking about our sexual journeys, from growing up with shame and silence to finding confidence, connection, and actual pleasure. No fluff, no fake empowerment, just real conversations about what shaped us, what we had to unlearn, and what finally helped us feel comfortable in our own skin.We cover:

• How shame shaped our first experiences with sex. And how it still shows up in subtle ways today.
• What we thought “good sex” was supposed to be. And how those expectations completely missed the point.
• How confidence around sex actually develops. It’s not instant, and it’s definitely not about performing.
• What helped us rebuild our relationships with our bodies. The tools, therapy, and mindset shifts that made a difference.
• Why talking about sex changes everything. We share how these conversations helped us feel more connected, not embarrassed.
• The difference between being desired and feeling desire. And why that distinction matters way more than you think.
• How to navigate your own sexual growth. Tips for starting your own “unlearning and relearning” process without judgment.
• Where to go from here. We share how our new 1:1 coaching program can help you rebuild confidence, communicate better, and reconnect with your body and pleasure.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!

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Pleasure isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. This week, we’re dipping into the archive and revisiting our episode with Danielle Savory, a certified sex and pleasure coach, mindfulness expert, and all-around powerhouse in helping people reconnect to their bodies and their desires. Together, we’re redefining what pleasure actually means, why it matters, and how to start prioritizing it in your daily life, in and outside the bedroom.

We cover:

• What pleasure really does to your brain. Danielle breaks down how pleasure rewires your mindset, boosts creativity, and helps regulate stress.
• Why prioritizing pleasure improves every area of your life. From relationships to productivity, she shares how pleasure isn’t indulgent... it’s essential.
• How to find your personal “why” for pleasure. Learn how to connect pleasure to your deeper values and goals so it feels sustainable and guilt-free.
• How to prioritize pleasure when you’re busy. Simple, science-backed practices to bring more pleasure into your daily routine.
• The difference between pursuing pleasure and chasing happiness. Danielle explains why pleasure is a deeper, more embodied path to joy.
• How stress blocks your ability to feel good. We talk about how the nervous system impacts arousal, presence, and satisfaction and how to start stressing less.
• How to bring pleasure into the bedroom and beyond. Practical, judgment-free ways to expand your definition of what feeling good can look like.

Interested in 1-on-1 coaching? CLICK HERE!

Join Honey Book Club HERE!

Connect with Danielle HERE!

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Mother-in-law drama? You’re not imagining it, and you’re definitely not alone. This week, we’re joined by Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, a clinical psychologist, author, and relationship expert with over 15 years of experience helping couples communicate and connect better. Together, we unpack the emotional landmines that can show up when your partner’s mom is… a lot, and how to set boundaries that protect your relationship instead of tearing it apart.

We cover:

• Why mother-in-law relationships are so complicated. Dr. Tracy explains the hidden power dynamics and emotional expectations that can make them feel tense or competitive.
• How to stop feeling “stuck in the middle”. Learn practical communication strategies for when your partner and their mom are clashing, or when you’re the one feeling left out.
• The difference between boundaries and ultimatums. Why you don’t need to be “the good daughter-in-law” to keep the peace, and how to stand firm without guilt.
• How to get your partner on the same team. Tips for talking about family tension without triggering defensiveness or blame.
• When the problem isn’t just her. Dr. Tracy helps us look inward at our own triggers, expectations, and patterns that keep us repeating the same dynamic.
• The role of empathy in de-escalating family conflict. Why empathy for your partner (and even their mom) can shift everything.
• How to prioritize your partnership above all else. Actionable steps for strengthening your bond and creating a united front, no matter how messy the family dynamic gets.

PREORDER "You, Your Husband & His Mother" here!

Honeydew Me Resources:

Interested in 1-on-1 coaching with Cass & Em? CLICK HERE!

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Struggling with mismatched desire or a dry spell that won’t end? You’re not broken, and neither is your relationship. This week, sex therapist Vanessa Marin, who has 20 years of experience in the field, and her husband Xander, a self-proclaimed “regular dude," reveal the five most common reasons couples stop having sex and explain why desire might not be the problem you think it is.

We cover:

• Why desire isn’t the foundation of a great sex life. Vanessa explains why waiting to “feel in the mood” can actually block connection and intimacy.
• The top five reasons couples stop having sex. From resentment to routine, Vanessa and Xander unpack what really gets in the way and how to fix it.
• How to reconnect when sex feels like a chore. Practical tools for rebuilding closeness without pressure or guilt.
• The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire. Learn why expecting to just “feel it” can lead to frustration, and how to work with your body instead.
• How to talk about sex without it turning into a fight. Simple scripts and strategies for starting honest, non-defensive conversations.
• Why long-term desire is a skill, not a spark. Vanessa and Xander share how to cultivate passion and playfulness at every stage of a relationship.
• How to create a sex life that feels equal and exciting. Real advice for ditching resentment, sharing initiation, and rediscovering fun in bed.

Connect with Vanessa and Xander:

• Join DEEPER Here!
• Visit their website HERE!
• Buy their book HERE!

⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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