For a lot of us, having kids absolutely wrecks our sex lives… at least for a while. And no one really prepares you for that. In this episode, we’re joined by Rebecca Howard Eudy, PhD, LMHC, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and couples therapist, to talk about what actually happens to desire, intimacy, and connection after kids (or even just in long term relationships). We dig into exhaustion, resentment, pressure, and why so many couples assume something is wrong with them, when really they’re just navigating a huge shift. This conversation is about understanding what’s happening and figuring out how to rebuild intimacy in a way that actually works for the season you’re in.

We cover:

• How pressure kills intimacy. What happens when sex becomes another expectation instead of a point of connection.
• Why resentment shows up in the bedroom. How unequal labor, emotional disconnect, and unspoken needs quietly erode desire.
• How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy. Practical ways to reconnect that do not rely on forcing desire or “trying harder.”
• Why sex changes so much after kids. Rebecca explains how exhaustion, mental load, and identity shifts directly impact desire and arousal.
• The difference between low desire and low capacity. Why many parents still want sex but feel too depleted to access it.
• Understanding desire differences after parenthood. Why mismatched desire is common and not a sign something is wrong with your relationship.
• Why scheduling intimacy can actually help. How planning connection creates safety and reduces pressure instead of killing spontaneity.
• The importance of redefining sex after kids. Moving beyond penetration-focused sex and expanding what intimacy can look like now.
• How to talk about sex without blame or defensiveness. Language shifts that help couples feel like teammates again.

Connect with Rebecca:

• BUY HER BOOK HERE!
• Visit her website HERE!
• Follow her on Instagram HERE!
• Listen to her podcast HERE!

⁠⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠⁠⁠

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What if your sex life could tell you something important about your health? In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Elliot Justin, an ER doctor of 25 years who pivoted into sexual health innovation to change the way we talk about bodies, pleasure, and well-being. We explore how erections, cardiovascular health, data-driven tools, and honest conversations can give us earlier insight into what’s happening in the body and why sexual health should never be treated as separate from overall health.

We cover:

• Why sexual health is a health issue, not a vanity issue. Dr. Justin explains why pleasure, performance, and function are often early indicators of deeper health patterns.
• What erections can reveal about cardiovascular health. How nighttime erections are connected to blood flow and heart health long before other symptoms appear.
• Why men’s sexual health is often ignored until there’s a crisis. How stigma and silence delay diagnosis and meaningful conversations.
• The science behind nocturnal erections. What’s normal, what’s not, and why the body’s nighttime patterns matter.
• How data can change the way couples talk about sex. Why shared, objective information can reduce shame, blame, and guesswork in the bedroom.
• The role of technology in modern sexual wellness. How tools like FirmTech are bringing measurable insights into intimacy and performance.
• Why early awareness matters more than quick fixes. How prevention and understanding beat waiting for symptoms or relying on temporary solutions.

Use code "DEWME" for a discount at FirmTech!

⁠⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠⁠

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: "I’m 22 and in my first long-term relationship with a partner I truly love. Everything is healthy and supportive, but I’ve noticed I’ve started deferring to his routines and preferences instead of my own. I miss parts of myself, like how I used to spend my free time and make plans just for me. How do I stay true to myself while still making room for my relationship?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Losing yourself in a relationship. Why this is common in early long-term relationships and how it can happen even when the partnership is healthy and loving.

• Staying true to yourself while partnered. Why maintaining your own identity, routines, and desires takes intention in a committed relationship.

• People-pleasing and resentment. How deferring to a partner’s needs and preferences can slowly lead to disconnection and frustration.

• Identifying what you’ve stopped prioritizing. How to recognize the hobbies, values, and personal time that have taken a backseat.

• Solo needs vs relationship needs. Understanding the difference between individual fulfillment and shared intimacy in a long-term relationship.

• How to communicate your needs. Practical language for talking to your partner about independence, boundaries, and personal time without blame.

• Following through with boundaries. Why awareness isn’t enough and how to actually implement change in your daily life.

• Rebuilding a relationship with yourself. Why solo time, self-dates, and personal routines support emotional health and relationship satisfaction.

• Why this improves intimacy. How staying connected to yourself strengthens attraction, communication, and long-term relationship success.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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Most of us were never actually taught how to understand our own sexuality. In this episode, we’re joined by Tash Doherty, author and sexuality advocate behind Misseducated, to talk about what it really means to become shamelessly sexy. We get into unlearning bad sex education, reconnecting with desire, and why curiosity, reflection, and self-knowledge are foundational to confidence and pleasure.

We Cover:

• Why most of us are still “miseducated” about sex. Tash breaks down the gaps in traditional sex education and how they shape shame, confusion, and silence.
• How shame disconnects us from desire. Why feeling awkward, guilty, or “behind” is incredibly common and not a personal failure.
• What it actually means to be shamelessly sexy. Moving beyond performative confidence and into self-trust, curiosity, and ownership.
• The role of self-reflection in sexual confidence. Why understanding your own patterns, turn-ons, and boundaries changes everything.
• How journaling can transform your relationship with sex. Tash shares how intentional reflection helps women access desire, clarity, and agency.
• Why desire changes and how to work with it. Normalizing libido shifts and learning to stay connected to pleasure across life stages.
• How to build a healthier relationship with your body. Tools for getting out of comparison and back into embodied experience.
• Creating space for pleasure without pressure. Why slowing down and listening to yourself is more effective than “trying harder.”
• What women actually need more of in sex education. And why access to better tools leads to better relationships, communication, and confidence.

Connect With Tash:

Misseducated

The Intimacy Journal 

These Perfectly Careless Things

Website

Connect with Us:

⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠

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If sex in your long-term relationship feels expected, routine, or disconnected, you’re not alone. In Part 2 of our 50 best sex tips for 2026 series, we talk about desire, pressure, and how to build a more satisfying sex life that actually feels good.

This episode is about when sex starts to feel like something you’re doing because you’re supposed to. Going through the motions. Having sex because it feels expected. Checking boxes. Trying to be a good partner. Forcing yourself to want it. And still wondering why it doesn’t feel good.

We cover:

• Doing what you think you’re supposed to do. Why “good partner” sex often disconnects you from what you actually want and feel.
• Going through the motions. How routine, obligation, and autopilot sex quietly drains desire.
• Having sex because it feels expected. Why expectation creates pressure and shuts desire down.
• Checking boxes instead of tuning in. How tracking frequency, effort, or outcomes pulls you out of connection.
• Forcing yourself to want it. Why trying to manufacture desire backfires.
• Trying to be a good partner. How people-pleasing and self-abandonment show up in sex.
• Wondering why it still doesn’t feel good. Why “fine” sex can still feel empty and what actually changes that.

Get your FREE Want, Will, Won't list in our Linktree HERE!

Connect with Us:

⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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We’re kicking off the year with a two-part solo series where we share 50 of the best sex tips to help you build a more satisfying, confident, and connected sex life in 2026. This episode is about the foundations of intimacy. The things that actually change how sex feels over time. Desire. Confidence. Communication. Pleasure. And letting go of the belief that something is wrong with you.

In Part 1, we dive into the deeper reframes that make great sex possible in real, long-term relationships. Especially when bodies change, desire shifts, and life gets full. If you’ve ever felt broken, behind, or like you’re doing sex “wrong,” this episode is for you.

We cover:

• You’re not doing it wrong. Why most people are measuring their sex lives against unrealistic standards and how that comparison quietly kills desire.
• You’re not broken. How shame becomes the biggest blocker to pleasure and what actually helps rebuild confidence over time.
• Responsive desire is normal. Why many people need time, safety, and context to get in the mood and why taking your damn time matters.
• You will never crave sex you don’t enjoy. How pushing through unenjoyable sex trains avoidance and what supports genuine desire instead.
• Redefining what sex means. Why orgasm and penetration cannot be the only goals and how expanding your definition creates more connection and satisfaction.
• Going back to the basics. Why simple, playful touch like dry humping, fingering, and hand jobs are lost arts that often work better than what we deem "full sex."
• Creating safety, fun, and structure. How scheduling intimacy, setting containers, using games, and talking about turn-ons builds trust, playfulness, and long-term connection.

Connect with Us:

Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.

⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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To close out the year, we’re dipping into the Honey Archive and revisiting a fan-favorite episode. We went to a sex club as total first-timers and came back with an honest, behind-the-scenes breakdown of what it’s actually like, what surprised us, and what we wish we’d known before walking in.

If you’ve ever been curious, nervous, or just plain intrigued, this episode is your first step.

We cover:

• What it’s really like getting into a sex club for the first time, from check-in to the full tour

• The rules, boundaries, and consent culture (and why they made us feel safer than expected)

• How the club is set up and how different spaces are used

• What we saw, what we participated in, and what we chose not to do

• Our biggest takeaways and practical tips for other sex club first-timers

Whether you’re seriously considering going or just want the inside scoop, this episode answers the questions everyone has but rarely asks.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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Sex worker rights aren’t a niche issue. They’re a human rights issue. In this episode, we’re joined by Kaytlin Bailey, stand-up comic, sex worker rights advocate, and expert on sex worker policy and history, to unpack why moral panics around sex work harm far more than just sex workers. We talk about power, policy, women’s autonomy, and why everyone, especially women who care about freedom, bodily autonomy, and choice, should be paying attention.

We cover:

• Why sex worker rights affect everyone. How laws and stigma aimed at sex workers quietly erode rights for all women.
• What moral panics actually do. Why fear-based narratives around sex are so effective and so dangerous.
• The historical roots of sex work criminalization. How policy has long been used to control women’s bodies, labor, and sexuality.
• Why “good girl vs bad girl” thinking still shapes policy. And how that mindset limits freedom far beyond sex work.
• The difference between protection and control. Why many laws framed as “safety” measures actually increase harm.
• How storytelling changes public opinion. Why human stories are one of the most powerful tools for policy change.
• What sex worker rights teach us about bodily autonomy. Consent, agency, and who gets to decide what women do with their bodies.
• Why this conversation matters now. How current cultural and political shifts are putting foundational freedoms at risk.
• How to learn more and get involved. Ways to support sex worker rights through education, advocacy, and listening.

Kaytlin Bailey is the Founder & Executive Director at Old Pros, a nonprofit that uses storytelling to advocate for sex worker rights. She hosts The Oldest Profession Podcast and is touring the live show The Oldest Profession. Follow @oldprosonline — Email Newsletter | Instagram | X

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠

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Painful sex is common, but it’s not normal and it’s definitely not something you just have to live with. In this episode, we’re joined by Kristen Damery, a pelvic health physical therapist and the founder of Lava lube, to break down what’s actually happening in the body when sex hurts. We talk about muscles, nerves, lubrication, stress, and why so many people are dismissed or misunderstood when they bring this up to doctors.

We Cover:

• Why painful sex is so often misunderstood. Kristen explains why pain during sex is frequently minimized, misdiagnosed, or written off as “normal.”
• What’s actually happening in the pelvic floor. How tension, weakness, and coordination issues can all contribute to pain.
• The role of the nervous system in sexual pain. Why stress, anxiety, and anticipation can cause the body to brace before penetration even happens.
• Different types of pain and what they can mean. Burning, stabbing, pressure, dryness, or deep pain and why the type of pain matters.
• Why lubrication alone isn’t always the solution. How dryness, friction, tissue health, and muscle response all interact.
• How pelvic PT helps retrain the body. What pelvic health physical therapy actually looks like and how it supports healing, comfort, and confidence.
• Why pain during sex is not a personal failure. How shame and self-blame make symptoms worse and why pain is a body signal, not a flaw.
• When to seek support and what to ask for. How to advocate for yourself and find providers who actually understand pelvic pain.
• Tools to support comfort and pleasure. Kristen shares practical tips for reducing pain, improving lubrication, and making sex feel safer and more enjoyable.

Get Lava for 25% off with code DEWME!

Follow Lave on Instagram!

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: "I'm a 35yo woman who’s been married to a really good guy for the last seven years. He never pressures me or anything, but every time I don’t want sex, I instantly feel like i’m being a shitty wife. I know that’s some leftover ‘good girl / keep your man happy’ garbage, but the guilt is still really loud. How do I stop feeling like I’m failing him every time I’m not horny?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why you never owe anyone sex. Why consent and desire are required every single time, even in a loving and committed marriage.
• Where the guilt comes from. How “good girl conditioning” teaches us to prioritize a partner’s pleasure over our own boundaries.
• Obligation sex vs wanted sex. Why a supportive partner should only want intimacy you are genuinely excited about, not sex given out of pressure.
• How guilt impacts pleasure and connection. How anxiety, obligation, and performance mindset shut down arousal and make sex feel high stakes.
• What happens when you keep overriding your no’s. Why ignoring your boundaries leads to resentment, disconnect, and a shrinking desire for sex.
• Rewriting what it means to be a good partner. Why your value is not based on a penis ejaculating, and how honoring your needs strengthens intimacy.
• How to support your own desire and autonomy. Tools and mindset shifts to release pressure, protect your no’s, and show up with real desire when it is there.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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Traditional Chinese medicine looks at your sex life very differently than Western medicine and honestly, it’s VERY refreshing. In this episode, we’re joined by Jaiming Ju, a 2nd-generation Chinese medicine practitioner and founder of Kun Health, to talk about how TCM understands libido, pain during sex, ED, arousal, and overall sexual wellbeing. We get into body patterns, energy balance, lifestyle habits, and what your symptoms are actually trying to tell you.

We cover:

• How Chinese medicine understands sex and pleasure. Jaiming explains why sexual health is seen as a major indicator of overall wellbeing, not an isolated issue.
• Why pain during sex is never “just in your head”. How TCM views dryness, pelvic pain, tension, and discomfort and why it’s almost always linked to imbalance, depletion, or circulation issues.
• Understanding libido changes. How arousal, desire, and lubrication map to warmth, energy, and hormonal patterns + how aging, stress, lifestyle, and depletion impact the body.
• ED from a TCM perspective. Why erections are about circulation, warmth, and “yang energy,” and what it means when interest and performance don’t match.
• Tongue diagnosis and what it reveals about your sex life. Yes, your tongue really can show dryness, heat, coldness, stress patterns, or issues affecting libido.
• Why stress and exhaustion shut down desire. How nervous system overload, burnout, and irregular routines drain the body’s resources and impact arousal.
• Practical pleasure support from a Chinese medicine lens. Food, warmth, routines, habits, and small changes that help your body feel safer, softer, and more responsive during sex.
• How to support long-term sexual health at every age. Daily practices Jaiming recommends to maintain circulation, lubrication, desire, and overall balance.

Connect with Jaiming HERE!

Follow her on Instagram HERE!

⁠Learn more about Honeydew Me 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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