Decoding the Gurus

2 hours 2 minutes

Jensen Huang, Part 1: AI Will Fix Everything (Probably)

Jensen Huang is so hot right now; not only did he make some statements that were widely derided, but he also featured in a glitzy "collab" episode with our favourite lone wolf, Lex Fridman. Sensing guru vibes, we turned to take a deep dive into his recent interview with Ezra Klein. Huang is the co-founder and CEO of Nvidia; he also really likes Lex Fridman and the All-In Besties. Trump even called him while he was on the All-In stage! So it's fair to say we went into this one expecting yet another bloviating tech CEO and were ready to join the dunking. We do not do guilt by association, of course, but bad vibes were in the air.

Huang thinks AI will transform the economy, take over tedious tasks, and leave us free to do more interesting things. Some jobs will disappear, but new industries will emerge to replace them, like wellness spas... It's okay for those whose jobs are disappearing, though Jensen has a solution: they should become systems thinkers!

Alongside such high-level insights, Matt and Chris do find some points of agreement, including his impatience with apocalyptic predictions being presented as scientific findings. The discussion also highlights a difference between our dear hosts: Huang's irritation with people talking about software like little human minds makes Chris increasingly sympathetic to him. Matt, as a committed pan-psychic, is less impressed by the reassurance that engineers understand what they are building, and thinks understanding the components is rather different from knowing what the whole system will do. Inevitably, this leads to a discussion of dogs, ants, and what "unpredictable" means, because apparently we are sensemakers now.

We will get to the fuller discussion of AI safety in Part Two. Until then, listeners can enjoy the experience of us listening to one of the less terrible tech billionaires and disagreeing with each other over minor points!

Source material

Relevant articles

28 October 2026, 10:50 pm

39 minutes 54 seconds

Supplementary Material 57: p(doom) Updates, Nazi Apologist Imbeciles, and JAQs about False Flag Conspiracies

Matt updates his p(doom), Tucker Carlson does his best impression of Wormtongue, and the political horseshoe unites over Flydubai JAQs. Sometimes our future AI overlords do not look so bad.

The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (2 hrs 51 mins).

Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus

00:00:00 Introduction

00:01:07 Dog Updates and Cultural Appropriation

00:07:20 Annual Health Check Approval

00:14:47 Matt’s p(doom) Update

00:17:26 Matt’s Dragon

00:21:34 Becoming Obsolete?

00:26:27 P-Zombie Thoughts on AI

00:33:03 Productivity Gains?

00:36:22 Jacob Rees-Mogg Meets Tucker Carlson

00:39:00 Tucker Carlson: Russian Apologist Extraordinaire

00:48:14 Cognitive Empathy for Russia

00:55:04 Who Cares About Treaties?

00:58:45 Studied Ignorance and Russian Sycophancy

01:05:50 The Isolationist Strain

01:11:33 Wormtongue Carlson

01:17:03 WHAT?!?

01:23:02 Hitler Apologetics

01:29:02 Bespoke Definitions of Sovereignty

01:37:17 Mr Hitler and His Promises

01:40:59 Great Fun with a Nazi Apologist Imbecile

01:42:17 The Joyful League of Big Characters: George Galloway Enters

01:46:20 Piers Morgan Is a Bad Guy

01:49:17 Flydubai False-Flag Conspiracies

01:56:35 The Young Turks Are Conspiracy Theorists

02:02:54 Jimmy Dore Claims Bondi Beach Was a False Flag

02:08:15 Cenk Explains False-Flag Psychology

02:13:53 Ana Notices Some Anomalies

02:18:25 Sneako Also Has Questions

02:20:16 Hasan Has Noticed Some Red Flags

02:35:00 Strategic Disclaimers Are Standard Practice

02:40:06 The Hannibal Directive

02:48:53 Dysphoric Bonding

Source material

Relevant articles

14 October 2026, 1:00 am

26 minutes

Supplementary Material 56: 10% for AI Doom, Bespoke Debates, and Eurotrash DJs

Chris and Matt grapple with Face Huggers, ponder the mysteries of algebra, and have a heated exchange over the term "bespoke".

*Sorry about some of Chris' audio: the microphone settings will be fixed next episode!

The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (2 hrs 12 mins).

Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus

Supplementary Material 56

00:00 Introduction

01:58 The Hugging Face incident

08:46 AI risks and AI discourse

22:29 OpenAI’s presentation and the incentives around AI safety

29:51 How worried should we be?

40:13 Disagreeing about AI

46:15 Peter Boghossian’s AI-generated utopia and dystopia

52:00 Matt’s favourite DJ meme

53:32 Tucker Carlson meets algebra

1:00:18 Andrew Callaghan and Channel 5

1:02:07 Hunter Biden’s $LAPTOP meme coin

1:06:08 A brief intervention on “paleocon”

1:13:41 Andrew Callaghan explains the email-list mistake

1:23:46 Andrew Callaghan on tech oligarchs

1:36:28 Taylor Lorenz’s political independence

1:42:35 The Great Bespoke Debate of 2026

1:56:35 Hasan, Mearsheimer, and Russia

2:07:16 Peace is restored

Links

4 October 2026, 8:00 am

2 hours 27 minutes

Candace Owens, Part 2: The Woman Who Noticed Everything

Part Two of our Candace Owens decoding offers a generous case study in conspiratorial thinking. The necklace in the footage of Charlie Kirk’s murder may have moved before his jacket, a photograph of Tyler Robinson in front of a Man of Steel poster also raises questions about why Erika Kirk used the phrase about Charlie’s neck, not to mention that one of the early suspects also lived in New York during 9/11... all of it just makes you think... who is actually running things?

One possibility could be Erika Kirk. Not that she is the mastermind (that, as always, is occult Jewish satanists), but rather that she might be a sociopath that dark energy is being temporarily channelled into. Candace asks why Erika returned to work so quickly, muses over how Candace's connection to Charlie was deeper and more spiritually potent, and ponders if she was the only person who really truly cared about Charlie. But don’t worry, Shawn Ryan is there with his trademark scepticism to offer pushback, like “wow” and “holy shit, that’s incredible”. Trump, meanwhile, has apparently sold his soul to Israel, though JD Vance may still be redeemable. Then Freud turns up, accused of inventing modern gaslighting and covering for satanic murders.

Candace, as you might imagine, has her own place in the story. Charlie apparently knew she would inherit the fight after his death (which he had psychically foreseen), and Candace has indeed felt a spiritual awakening since. It’s a good thing then that she is so sensitive to others engaged in religious/spiritual grifting.

As per Part One, this is ultimately a tour de force in conspiracy theorising and guru dynamics. And yet, remarkably, Candace still manages to come across as interpersonally likeable and even endearing. Which perhaps explains part of her popularity. Even still, with this episode we are (hopefully) done with four-hour Candace interviews.

Also be forewarned that this episode contains an extended shoutout section; the Candace decoding ends at 1:41:02. We work through a backlog of listener shoutouts that we have neglected for long enough to turn them into a second podcast. If you would rather skip that entirely, jump to 2:25:56 for the brief sign-off. Complaints about the length/shoutouts will be referred to this paragraph. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Source material

Shawn Ryan Show #318: Candace Owens, “I Don’t Believe Tyler Robinson Was Even There”
Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson, The Assault on Truth: Freud’s Suppression of the Seduction Theory (the book Candace invokes during the Freud segment)
Rate the gurus yourself on the Gurometer

26 September 2026, 10:20 pm

1 hour 42 minutes

Candace Owens, Part 1: Charlie Kirk and the Cosmic Conspiracy

Candace Owens is just a Catholic, a mother, and a wife. She loves her husband, works hard, and tries not to let internet drama disturb her spiritual peace. She also has just a few questions about the international satanic conspiracy behind Charlie Kirk’s ritual murder.

We join Candace during her appearance on the Shawn Ryan Show, where an impressive amount of time is devoted to establishing how lovely they both find each other. There are the usual fond memories of dinner, a husband who is a James Bond lookalike, and a series of fascinating career adventures, including how Candace rose to be vice president of administration in just 4 years! She even got to experience the damaging effects of toxic mould before it was fashionable (and don't worry, it was cured with a restrictive diet!).

Candace is like a one-woman crash course in conspiratorial ideation and how conspiracy theorists interact with other conspiracy theorists and conflicting evidence. But, to be fair, she is also very good at what she does! Coming across as a charismatic and composed speaker who makes very ugly claims sound like an entirely reasonable conversation.

But then there are the questions... Why do witnesses remember different things? Why was ten inches of soil removed rather than eight? Did Charlie Kirk's necklace move before his jacket? But that's just the start; as is often the case we end up talking about Rothschilds, Freemasons, Denmons, and a public demonic ritual intended to channel spiritual energy into a surprising target. Shawn Ryan, who assures us repeatedly that he is an extremely sceptical person, is astonished at what he hears!

And there's more to come too... in Part 2.

Source material

21 September 2026, 11:40 am

59 minutes 54 seconds

Gurometer Triple Threat: Professor Jiang, Mel Robbins & Jimmy Carr *Patreon Preview*

The rumours of the Gurometer's demise have been greatly exaggerated. We were simply collecting enough gurus to feed three into the sacred instrument at once. In this special Triple Threat edition, Professor Jiang brings angel-informed psychohistory, Jimmy Carr brings a head full of dubious historical factoids, and Mel Robbins just desperately wants to help you (for a price). Three potential gurus, eleven characteristics, and a brief disagreement over the nature of data. Let the highly rigorous scoring commence!

Also... think you can do better? Rate Jiang, Mel, Jimmy, or any of the other gurus on our online Gurometer and compare your scores with ours. Ideally, do it before listening, lest Matt declare your numbers inadmissible.

https://decoding-the-gurus-gurometer.netlify.app/

14 September 2026, 10:00 am

34 minutes 57 seconds

Supplementary Material 55: Nature Debates, Murder Drone Conspiracies, and Podcast Vibes

Two academic windbags attempt brief discussions of the controversy at Nature, Bret’s newest conspiracy theory, and the latest vibe sessions in Podcastistan. It goes about as well as expected.

The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1hr 18mins).

Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus

Supplementary Material 55

00:00 Introduction: Science by Podcast

04:04 Nature Joins the Arday Discourse Wave

09:28 Activism and Science

14:40 Academic Prestige Bias

19:08 The Business of Academic Publishing

23:43 Sasha Gusev Being Sensible and Culture War Brainrot

29:04 Bret Weinstein and Jimmy Dore Investigate Charlie Kirk’s Death

36:13 Anomaly Hunting

42:27 Science Washing

45:00 Conspiracy Discrimination and Reasoning Ability

53:46 Academic Debate Norms

59:16 Chris Williamson Promotes Professor Jiang

01:01:01 Vibing Out in Podcast Panels: Hunter Biden x Nick Fuentes

01:05:49 Dave Rubin and Andrew Gold Discuss Political Tribalism

01:08:25 Heterodoxy in 2026: Zaid Jilani on Michael Tracey

01:12:52 Hitler Was a Human and Had Motivations

01:16:33 Outro

Links

8 September 2026, 4:00 am

1 hour 42 minutes

Mel Robbins, Part 2: Matt & Chris manifest their fully actualised future selves

In Part Two of our decoding of Mel Robbins, things take a practical turn. But before we get to preoccupied with all that, why don't you pause, take a breath, and, in the context of your body, write down ten ways to make a bad situation worse. Your focus should then be on doing the exact opposite! For example, if one of your answers is to not listen to the podcast, then start listening, right now!

Next, before hitting play, let's work on building a daily manifestation practice. Write down five things you want, then sit in your body, picture yourself doing all the annoying steps, and flood yourself with the feelings of future success. This needs to happen every day.

One more thing: now imagine someone who is one million per cent behind you and ask them what is the best way for you to consume the podcast. They can be alive, dead, or fictional. Greek messenger Gods are permitted. You can even imagine your mother, if you like, but better. Alternatively, why not meet your future self at the front door and ask how listening to the podcast helped them to become so wise, slim, and successful?

There are other options too. You can manifest a legion of ancestors, reconfigure a difficult afternoon by getting sushi, and even transcend the limits of possibility with an elephant murder themed visualization!

You might think this sounds a bit like (too much) planning, mental rehearsal, and just trying to be a bit more positive. But it's much more than that. These mental activities are actually powered by very hard science. Ignore the tiny samples, one-tailed tests, and suspicious p-values... that all sounds like negative thinking.

And now you are finally prepared so choose your technique, release the brake, and visualise the download button. Your future self is waiting. They have a cool scar and some bad news about your future children.

Links

The Mel Robbins Podcast: “World Leading Psychologist: How to Manifest Anything & Create the Life You Want” with Dr Cassandra Vieten
Cassandra Vieten: Imagine That: Transform How You Think, Feel, and Live with the Science of Imagination
Institute of Noetic Sciences: Origins Story
Hershfield, H. E., Goldstein, D. G., Sharpe, W. F., Fox, J., Yeykelis, L., Carstensen, L. L., & Bailenson, J. N. (2011). Increasing saving behavior through age-progressed renderings of the future self. Journal of marketing research, 48(SPL), S23-S37. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3949005/
Robalino, J. D., Fishbane, A., Goldstein, D. G., & Hershfield, H. E. (2023). Saving for retirement: A real-world test of whether seeing photos of one’s future self encourages contributions. Behavioral Science & Policy, 9(1), 1-9. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/23794607231190607

30 August 2026, 8:00 am

41 minutes 22 seconds

Supplementary Material 54: Solarpunk Pecan Pie, Northern Irish Sushi, & the Discourse Meat Grinder

We return from our holidays with an indulgent episode that starts light and ends up very dark as we turn to the unavoidable Jason Arday discourse.

The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (Full Episode: 1hr 40 mins)

Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus

Supplementary Material 54

00:00 Pecan Pie Introduction

04:10 Solar Punk Matt

08:17 Ireland Trip Report

15:24 Australian Burger Culture

17:32 Manga Cafe Experiments

24:10 Joe Rogan on AI Remote Viewing

29:14 Parapsychology as a Research Field

34:07 A One Man University Level Course in Bad Thinking

36:58 The Young Info Turks

40:53 More Credulity with Ryan Grim over Fauci

42:14 Richard Ebright, Warning Signs, and Radicalisation Spirals

48:28 Vinay Prasad jumping on the Anti-Fauci wagon for the Free Press

52:31 The Jason Arday Affair

54:28 The Surrounding Context

58:18 Polemical Discourse Waves

01:05:22 The Guru Factor

01:08:25 A Realistic View of Universities as Imperfect Institutions

01:12:17 Elite Prestige Bias

01:21:33 Culture War Distortions

01:25:04 The Ethics of Critical Journalism

01:29:50 Inconsistent Standards

01:38:36 Outro

Links

28 August 2026, 2:00 am

2 hours 4 minutes

Mel Robbins, Part 1: The Hard Science of Manifestation

Are you tired, stuck, or inconveniently constrained by reality? Good news: you may simply be imagining the wrong one.

In Part One of our decoding of Mel Robbins, we explore the world of a self-help mogul who is also just a simple mother of three in Vermont hosting a little ol' podcast with a HUGE global impact. Together with Cassandra Vieten, a psychologist who is (apparently) one of the world's leading researchers on imagination and consciousness, Mel explains how to begin to stop reacting and start imagining, visualising, and manifesting the life you truly deserve. This will lead to self-actualised transcendence through a variety of simple-to-implement techniques. But don't worry, the universe has also put in safeguards: manifestation only works if you use it for good, such as empowering your authentic self. So please manifest enthusiastically without any concern.

In the episode, you will learn about the delicate art of rebranding common sense into complex (proprietary) theories and be shocked to discover that mystical intuitions are a core component of any fully holistic scientific research. Mel's HUGE media business, meanwhile, manifests itself as an intimate personal friendship with each of her millions of listeners.

Expect the usual decorative scholarship, a new Five Second Rule and insights into how to Let Them and Let You, reality tunnels, obstacle courses, a thousand supportive women, lighthouses, tapestries, and the therapeutic potential of fire-breathing dragons. All of it is very hard science, as they repeatedly remind us.

Chris and Matt attempt throughout to give the self-help genre a fair-minded assessment. They even concede that wearing colourful socks and being a bit less miserable are probably harmless, but ultimately their dark reductionist souls are beyond salvation.

Part Two is coming next week. In the meantime, try to visualise it clearly, align your energy, and not to put one foot on the brake as you hit the download button.

Links

25 August 2026, 9:45 am

2 hours 54 minutes

Jimmy Carr & Joe Rogan: The Jester & the Khan

Joe Rogan, the Great Khan of podcasting, is once again receiving a travelling jester at court. This time it is Jimmy Carr who arrives bearing gifts: pop evolutionary psychology, dubious history factoids, conservative "common sense", and an apparently bottomless appetite for telling Joe just how important he is.

After listening to their three-hour conversation(!), we conclude there is nothing much of note beyond serving as a nice demonstration of popular "alternative" podcasting in 2026. What you get is a medley of sycophantic praise; regurgitated pop science and historical factoids; right-wing political positions presented as basic common sense; and shocked reactions to pseudo profundity and mundane observations.

Along the way, you will also thrill as you learn Rogan and Carr's takes on motherhood, feminism, work ethic, astrology, religion, taxation, vaccines, human evolution, the Black Death, and stand-up comedy.

As for Jimmy Carr himself, well, according to us: he's a very much your standard middle-aged conservative British person who happens to be a comedian. Rogan's level of crankery makes Jimmy look moderate by comparison, but as we know that's a very low bar.

Links

Jimmy Carr on The Joe Rogan Experience (2326)
Jimmy Carr on Modern Wisdom #953
Schulz, J. F., Bahrami-Rad, D., Beauchamp, J. P., & Henrich, J. (2019). The Church, intensive kinship, and global psychological variation. Science, 366(6466), eaau5141. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.aau5141
Robinson D. The Black Death and Clerical Prospects in England. In: Bothwell J, Hamilton JS, eds. Fourteenth Century England XII. Fourteenth Century England. Boydell & Brewer; 2022:129-150. https://doi.org/10.1017/9781800105904.008
Xu, X., & Barrett, P. M. (2025). The origin and early evolution of feathers: implications, uncertainties and future prospects. Biology Letters, 21(2), 20240517. https://doi.org/10.1098/rsbl.2024.0517

17 August 2026, 8:00 am