Are they mad at me? Did I do something wrong? They must hate me! I feel sick to my stomach (in response to a tone of voice) They don't think I'm good enough. What does that look mean? Do these narratives sound familar? If so, you are not alone...
In this episode, I introduce this beast called "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria" (RSD)- This is a common intense, even painful and overwhelming emotional experience when faced with internal, external, or percieved rejection.
We will stay creative and curious as we use the metaphor of a microphone and speaker to explore how your brain may be turning up the volume in certain emotions- making small moments seem HUGE!
"I am not too sensitive- my feelings might just be amplified!"
This episode helps kids understand:
Please remember that your feelings are not wrong- Your brain is just using a powerful sound system. And with the right tools and strategies, you can learn how to turn that volume down.
I look forward to being with you all next week as we continue to explore RSD! Always remember that you are never alone in how you think and feel! You are loved just as you are!
Check out my website www.katelynmabry.com to learn more about the opportunity to move through 1:1 coaching with me as your next step! I offer a free consultation to learn more! I would also love to hear from you about different episode topic ideas for the future or if your kiddo would like to share part of his or her ADHD journey by submitting an audio clip that I can share on a future episode! Have a super blessed day!
YIKES! This last episode really hits home! "I'm too much" was a fixed thought that I ALWAYS struggled with growing up and still to this day it creeps in and I have to talk back to that false belief! Does "I am too much..." creep up on you too!?
In this final episode of this emotional regulation series, we focus on identity, confidence, and self-compassion for kids with ADHD and big feelings. You were created for a beautiful purpose! Sometimes you hear that you are "too loud", "too sensitive", "too emotional", etc... This episode reframes those experiences and reminds you that having a fast, powerful brain simply means you need the right tools and support to strengthen breaks and adjust steering in life!
Using the metaphor of a race-car engine, we drive into a conversation about how some brains have a lot of power and energy. When kids learn and exercise skills like pausing, choosing actions, and getting support from trusted adults, that powerful engine can be guided with stronger breaks and steering.
We also talk about how traits often be labeled as "too much" can be strengths- like empathy, creativity, passion, and determination. The episode races to the finish line with a short self compassion practice and a recap of what you've learned throughout the series! If you missed past episodes, I would encourage you to go back and listen to go on the entire emotional regulation learning journey together! We connect on understanding feelings, regulating bodies, repairing after big emotional storms, and remembering that tough moments do not define who you are!
Big takeaway- Big feelings don't mean something is wrong with you. There are too many things right with you to even name! With support and practice, your powerful brain can learn how to steer in the direction you would like to go!!
I would love to hear from you! Check out my website at www.katelynmabry.com, where you can find a link to my children's book or send me a message to inquire about my 1:1 coaching package, or give a future podcast idea! I would love to hear more about your child's ADHD journey too! Love you all! Have a blessed day!
Did you know that your feelings are not your enemy!? I know sometimes it feels like they are! But in this episode, we will talk about how feelings are messengers that is giving you a signal that your mind and body may need help in some way.
In this episode, we will explore the idea of feelings being like mail being delivered to your brain and body. Every feeling carries a message that is trying to tell you something important. Feelings aren't good or bad, they are simply information.
We will look at what anger, worry, sadness and anxiety are trying to tell us and ideas of how we can practice responding. Maybe anger is delivering a message that something is unfair. Maybe worry is dropping off a note that your brain needs reassurance or a plan. Even BIG stormy feelings are just messages asking to be noticed.
This episode will help you see that you don't have to ignore, hide, run away or explode feelings. Instead, you can practice pausing, reading the message, and then deciding what to do. This is NOT easy and takes a lot of intentional practice!
When you learn how to read your feelings like mail, you start to understand yourself better- That is a SUPERPOWER! Let's continue to build that emotional toolbox together as we understand our brains, bodies and big feelings better!
I would absolutely LOVE to hear from you at www.katelynmabry.com. Check out my resources and reach out if you would like to be a future guest on my podcast or if you have a fun future episode topic idea! I also offer 1:1 coaching and will have more openings come Fall for the start of your new school year! You can book a FREE consultation to learn more about through my website too! Thank you for being here! You are loved and appreciated!!
Big emotions can feel like a tornado tearing through the house. Doors slam. Words fly. Feelings crash. But here is the truth: The storm is not the end of the story!
In this episode, we talk about what happens after emotional dysreguation strikes- when the wind dies down and everyone is standing in the quiet. Because after every storm, we can rebuild.
What you'll take away from this episode:
Imagine your relationship is like a house-
When the storm hits: Things get messy, something might break, everyone feels shaken...BUT, the house is still your HOME!
Repairing dysregulation is like:
Repair process steps:
The goal isn't pretending nothing happened. The goal is showing: We can come back from hard things!
Dyregulation is a storm. Repair is rebuilding and rebuilding is teaching resilience!
Your child is not thier meltdown. You are not your hardest parenting moment! The house is still your home and your are doing the best you can with what you know as you continue to grow!!! You are seen and loved!
Please reach out to me at www.katelynmabry.com with any future episode topic ideas or if your child would like to share their voice on a future episode! We are all on this journey together!! Have a blessed day!
Episode focus: Practical ADHD friendly regulation tools!
Core message: Different tools work at different times and that's ok!
Do you have BIG feelings too!!? I know I do and all 4 of my own kiddos with ADHD do too! They all look a little different and show up at different times, but we can all agree that the term, "just calm down never has and never will work! Do you agree!?
The goal is learning how to REGULATE through using different tools in our toolbox!
In this episode, I will introduce the idea of builing a regulation toolbox- because not every tool fits every job! Just like you wouldn't use a spoon to fix a bike, you won't use the same strategy for every feeling! And that's totally OK!
You'll learn in this episode...
Movement helps the nervous system reset (wall pushes, jumping jacks, animal walks, quick sprints, etc...
Breath that is slow and intentional- This is an internal tool that we can always turn to when our body feels safe to slow down (box breathing, balloon breaths, smell pizza and blow on it if it's too hot, etc.)
Sensory input tools help your brain organize itself! (squeeze stress ball, weighted lap blanket, cold water on wrist, listening to calm music, etc...)
Words- naming what's happening will lower the intensity ( "I'm in the yellow zone. I need a break, my brain needs help."
Connection is key! This creates safety and helps the brain come back online to think of the next best step to take. (Sit next to trusted adult, ask for a hug, co-regulate before problem solving.)
Key Takeaways-
Remember that big feelings are NOT bad behavior, they are information. Practice makes progress and the more confident you will become in using your toolbox! You don't need every tool, you just need a few that fit YOU!
Visit me at www.katelynmabry.com for more resources or to share a future episode topic or series idea! I would love to hear from you!
You are SEEN, VALUED AND lOVED!
Hello my fabulous friends! I have a super special treat for you in this episode as my daughter Evi, who also has ADHD and her friend join us to share the difference between cooling down and calming down, as well as how it shows up for them in their lives!
We will share the difference between cooling down= suppressing big, intense emotions. Where calming down is the process of regulation. Your body has to feel safe before it's ready to think!
Pressure cooker analogy- When steam builds up, we let it out safely...
Cooling down= holding feelings inside, forcing stillness, looks calm outside, but stormy inside..
Calming down= Helps nervous system feel safe, letting your energy move through your body, and use tools to match your feelings!
Calm is something you feel, not something you fake!
When steam builds up- Heart beats fast, muscles tighten, thoughts get loud, thinking brain goes offline during big emotions! Our body needs safety signals before problem solving!
Big feelings need body help first and brain help second!
How do we let out the steam safely!? Here are some ideas:
First identify which level of steam is coming out...
High steam (angry/overloaded)= wall pushes, jump or shake arms, fast animal walk, sensory swing
Medium steam ( frustrated/anxious)= squeeze pillow, hug trusted adult and talk about feelings, draw or journal feelings to release them...
Low steam (sad/drained)= Intentional slow breathing, cozy blanket reset, gentle stretching...
You don't stop the steam, you release it safely!
Now it's your turn to practice with your trusted adult or even you and a trusted green light friend can practice together! Great job practicing!!
Remember this... Your feelings aren't too big- Your body just needs the right tools!
This is our last week with our fabulous sponsor "Inflow!" This amazing APP is a helpful tool for the whole family to use to learn and grow! They have made it their mission to bring the right solution to individuals 13+ years old ( ADHD is VERY hereditarty- this is where learning and modeling as an older sibling or adult who also has a busy brain can be helpful.) Are you tired of your untamed ADHD owning you? This app is designed for those who have tried countless strategies and contiue to hit roadblocks!
To make it even easier, Inflow starts with a quick quiz that creates a personalized plan tailored to your brain- so you can finally connect with strategies that work for your uniquely wired mind.
I am thrilled to have Inflow as our sponsor this month, so that your whole family can feel seen, supported, and even more in control of your beautiful, brilliant brains!
Visit http://getinflow.io/adhdjourney to discover how you can get started using this helpful tool today!
Then you can visit me next at my website www.katelynmabry.com and let me know if your child would like to be a guest on a future podcast episode! I would also love to hear your kiddos topic ideas too! I am here to serve you! love you all!
Your body starts to tighten, your breath gets heavy, your mind is racing, senses are overwhelmed and your dysregulated emotions just burst... Sound familiar!? This is called a MELTDOWN...Your brain has had "too much" body is giving information that it needs HELP! It's when your brain is overloaded. This is not a misbehavior issue, it's a regulation struggle- a neurological response!
So what is a TANTRUM then?
"I want this...I don't like that...you need to do what I want... give me that...NOW"= Desire for control leading to emotional outburst...
It can be tricky to tell the difference as a trusted adult, which is why staying curious and helping kids raise self-awareness is key!
In this episode, you will discover the difference between a meltdown vs a tantrum and even hear a little from my 8 year old child with ADHD who struggles with this too. We will talk about how how brain is like a computer, at first it's doing great. Tabs open faster and faster, then suddenly it freezes up! The computer isn't being bad, it's overloaded...That's when a meltdown happens.
My son shares some helpful self-talk tips :
"My brain's not broken."
"I wasn't being bad."
"My system is overloaded."
Meltdown brain is saying, "I need support, I need quiet, I need space, I need help!"
Make sure you check out our February sponsor "Inflow!" This helpful resource has made it their mission to bring the right solution to individuals 13 + years and older, who are tired of dealing with the daily untamed struggles of ADHD. This app is designed for those who have tried countless strategies on their own, but they just aren't sticking.
To makes it even easier, Inflow starts with a quick quiz that creates a personalized plan tailored to your brain- so you can finally get connected with strategies that work for your uniquely wired mind. I am thrilled to have Inflow as our sponsor this month so that your whole family can take even more control of your beautiful, brilliant ADHD brain!
Visit http://getinflow.io/adhdjourney to discover details and get started with this great tool today.
This tool works great alongside 1:1 coaching as well. Visit me at www.katelynmabry.com to learn more about coaching, discover my book for kids, or just message to share a future episode topic idea!! I would love to hear from you!
Do you ever feel like your emotions go from 0-100 in about 2.2 seconds!? I know I do and my own kids do too! This is super common for those of us with busy brains and big emotions! The good news is that we don't have to live in the choas of red and we can recognize the reactivity so that we can become better responders through practice!!! Just like other skills, emotional regulation is a skill that needs to be exercised in order to help it grow stronger!
In this episode, you we will connect on how it feels to blow up like a ballon and pop into the red zone! We will talk through practices we can put into place to find the yellow zone, while our thinking brain is still online to choose a healthy way to regulate (younger kids may need co-regulation (this is when your child borrowed your calm through a hug, matched breathing, rocking, or even jumping and crossing the midline together) to name a few, while their ability to regulate on their own grows stronger!)
We will discuss the "dashboard of colors": None are BAD, only information to explore and stay curious about!
Green- Regulated, calm mind and body that feels in control
Yellow- Sirred up emotions, racing negative thoughts, body might feel tense, heart may begin to race...This is what we want to practice becoming more self aware of and responding to...
Red- Emotions are now in full control of words and action, completly hijacking the thinking brain that is now officially offline!
Did you know that ADHD is extremely hereditary and the first step could be to get your own brilliant, busy brain understood, so that you can better connect with and understand your child's colorful brain too...
Check out our February sponsor "Inflow!" This brilliant app has made it their mission to bring the right solution to people who are tired of dealing with the daily struggles of ADHD. This app is designed to those who have tried countless strategies on their own and they just didn't work.
It makes it even easier, Inflow starts with a quick ADHD quiz that creates a personalized plan tailored to your brain -so you can finally get connected with strategies that work. I am thrilled to have inflow as our sponsor this month to take even more control of your beautiful, brilliant ADHD minds!
Visit http://getinflow.io/adhdjourney to discover details and get started with this great tool today!
You can also use this tool alongside coaching as well! Visit me at www.katelynmabry.com to learn more about 1:1 ADHD life coaching! It could be a wonderful next step for you and your kiddo too! Always here for you!
"Sometimes my feelings go up and down, that's when my head spins round and round!" This is a page in my book and it rings so true for the February series we are going to do! "Sometimes I feel happy, sometimes I feel sad, sometimes I feel jumpy, other times I feel mad!" Another page of my book that speaks to the emotional rollercoaster that we often feel like we are on living with an ADHD brain!
In this episode we will jumpstart our February series where we dive into the topic of emotional regulation. You will discover WHY our emotions tend to get big really fast and how the waves of emotions can show up after allowing our balloon of emotions to blow up with worry, fear of failure, feeling too much or not enough, and how when it gets too big, it POPS! We will also touch on becoming surfers to ride those waves and then revisit the balloon analogy at the end of the episode to scratch the surface of ways to deflate the balloon before it pops! Come ride with me as we swim through the sea of emotional regulation!
Im SUPER excited to introduce you to our February sponsor "Inflow." Are you continuing to struggle to manage your ADHD? Inflow has made it their mission to bring the right solution to people who are tired of dealing with the daily struggles of ADHD. Their app is designed to help those who've tried countless strategies that don't quite work yet.
To make it even easier, inflow starts with a quick ADHD quiz that creates a personalized plan tailored to your brain-so you can finally get connected with strategies that work.
I am thrilled to have inflow as our sponsor this month to help you all take even more control of your beautiful, brilliant ADHD minds!
Visit http://getinflow.io/adhdjourney to get started today!
This app is a great resource to consider alongside coaching as well! Visit me at www.katelynmabry.com if you'd like to explore how ADHD coaching could be helpful for you too!
Do you ever notice that your first tendency when things get hard, new or uncomfortable is to either freeze, get frustrated or fly away!? If so, you are not alone, BUT the great news is that you can practice charging at these things with a reframed mindset to build a resilience and confidence you didn't know was possible!
In this episode, you will meet my newfound friend and brilliant ADHD mind, AMINE, who is from Moraco and the incredible content creator for "ADHDoers" on Instagram (almost 2M followers!) and he has a fun, animated show at www.neurodivers.show. Amine shares his childhood stories of how he was once said to be shy, but really he was feeling shame and how he would practice building resilience by facing the "uncomfortable" head on and moving into a more confidence mind and emotional space by doing so!
Visit my website at www.katelynmabry.com to share your journey toward resilience! I would love to hear from you!!
Now that you've created your New Year targets and have had some time to shoot for them, let's refocus on the celebration of any amount of progress on your journey of aiming for targets made!!
In this episode, we will celebrate hitting the target and the resilience built when missing the target and trying to aim again. We want to pause and celebrate how far you've come- not just where you landed. Wheather you hit your target, got close, changed your aim, or learned something new along the way, this episode is all about progress over perfection!
As ADHD warriors, we often put in a lot of progress that goes unnoticed. Today, we will slow things down and shine a light on the growth that happens inside. Learning how to refocus, trying again, adjusting plans, and keep going even when things feel tricky or sticky!
We will talk about why trying matters just as much as finishing, how noticing small wins builds confidence, and how every effort helps build momentum for the rest of the year! This episode will remind you that aiming takes practice- and that practice is something to be proud of!
Let's practice those intentional breaths, give yourself credit, and celebrate the journey you are on! You are learning to aim with courage, kindness, and curiosity- and that's a BIG win!
Please reach out at www.katelynmabry.com for more resources or to share future episode topic ideas! I would love to hear from you!