Is the government using Black social media users to study human behavior? Langston and David are joined by journalist-presenter Nina Parker to discuss how modern tech could be insidiously exploiting the Black community. Then, they answer a voicemail about the location of Dr. Umar’s charter school.

0:00 Prolapse cold open

8:58 A very weapons intro

17:24 Conspiracy: They never stopped experimenting on Black people

33:21 Content creation = drug dealing?

43:52 Newspapers, novels, smut

52:34 Internet posturing

58:04 Skincare for men

1:03:12 Voicemail: Dr. Umar’s school is in Delaware

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Will eating the chalaza of an egg give you salmonella? Langston and David are joined by comedian-actress Zainab Johnson to question if we shouldn’t be eating the white film on egg yolks. Then, they answer a voicemail about NBA megastar Stephen Curry.

0:00 Cold open: Extraordinary genitals

6:45 A very The-Dream intro

13:01 Michael Jackson’s vulnerability in ‘Will You Be There’

22:15 Katt Williams anecdote

26:52 Conspiracy: Never eat the chalaza of an egg

37:47 Unironically wearing Kangol hats

47:02 Talent vs. decency

52:42 Voicemail: Steph Curry uplifts white hoopers

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How many people are deceitfully claiming autism or ADHD to explain away bad behavior? Langston and David answer three listener voicemails, including one positing that self-diagnosed neurodivergence has gone too far.

0:00 A very low and sultry intro

3:46 Getting recognized in public

6:08 Boosie BadAzz got scammed

19:00 Fighting in prison

26:34 Voicemail 1: Langston’s secret…?

28:28 Voicemail 2: Light-eyed bigotry

32:35 Voicemail 3: The spectrum ain’t spectrum-ing

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Does a man’s choice of facial hair expose his personality? Langston and David sit down to answer a handful of voicemails, including one about how men choose to adorn their faces betray the content of their souls.

0:00 Intro: Jamaican patois teacher

16:13 Voicemail 1: Cannibalism FIFA

21:25 Voicemail 2: Black people are not Native Americans

27:05 The biracial experience, revisited

34:30 Voicemail 3: Stripper names could be nicknames

42:01 Voicemail 4: Men’s facial hair reveal their character

50:06 Voicemail 5: Sucking on breasts enlarges them

55:05 Other mammals’ genitals

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Are people with dwarfism being harmed for the sake of advancing cosmetic surgeries? Langston and David are joined by actor-comedian Denny Love to discuss truly one of the craziest theories ever put forth in the history of this podcast.

0:00 Cold Open: Black Happy Birthday

4:12 Almost soiling your pants

12:11 Yelling out of the car

18:29 Intro: Soundboard shenanigans

24:48 Conspiracy theory: Little people are being targetted for BBL research

43:43 Is this theory…hate speech?

50:19 What the “research” says

57:52 Nicknames, reprised

1:01:35 Voicemail: Yung Miami is kid-maxxing

1:05:43 Bathroom emergencies, revisited

Check out Langston’s mom’s Etsy store:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/MamaGiasStuff

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Is the government dangling confirmation of human contact with aliens to divert our attention from more pressing matters? Langston and David are joined by actor Malcolm Barrett to discuss how convenient the timing of alien news is for those in power as well as the possibility of extraterrestrial life at large.

0:00 Cold open: The lore of Yakub

2:59 Have you ever been dunked on?

6:38 The art of the scam

9:38 Intro: The term “wifey”

21:30 Pop-a-shot at home

28:31 David is anti-whimsy

40:18 Conspiracy theory: They’re trying to distract us with aliens

48:01 Coolest American presidents

56:52 Would aliens even want to meet us?

1:01:45 Asian people with non-American accents

1:07:57 Are we too free here?

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Is there something deeper and darker behind the way some white folks relate with animals? Langston and David sit down to respond to listeners’ voicemails and emails, including one about the power dynamics between white people and their pets.

0:00 Avatar is mid

4:34 Doing bits with loved ones

9:39 Langston acquires a new nickname!

13:11 Voicemail 1: The Love Island men receive help

21:35 Voicemail 2: Investi-gay-tion

40:39 Email: White people and their pets

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Was the panic around lettuce-related explosive diarrhea fomented to make us turn on immigrant farmers? Langston and David are joined by actor/comedian Orlando Jones to answer four (4) voicemails sent in by the Lil’ Mommas, including one about the recent iceberg lettuce scare.

0:00 Intro: Bad slave dealerships

9:08 Autobiographies

16:14 Good Black stereotypes and demon possession

25:32 Voicemail 1: Biracial eugenics

35:02 Voicemail 2: Langston’s idiosyncratic noises

37:46 Voicemail 3: Don’t trust school tests

50:42 Voicemail 4: Is the lettuce-diarrhea parasite for real?

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Are they leading our species to extinction because we’re having too much fun? Langston and David sit down with the ageless Mariah Smith to discuss the end of the world as we know it and how to cope with that.

0:00 Cold open: Sports vs theater

3:22 Intro: Aspirations and checkpoints

11:01 How old is Mariah?

15:20 Conspiracy: They want the planet to die

21:53 Mariah’s favorite is…Ed Sheeran?

31:10 Getting cryogenically frozen

38:45 How long do we have as a species?

42:38 (Hypothetical) deceitfulness as a way of life

49:38 Voicemail: Civilization dies in comfort

55:23 Compulsive lying for sport, reprised

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Are shady powers behind the once-viral mobile game Pokémon GO? Langston and David are joined by guitarist and former Pokémon GO player Brian Robert Jones to discuss the possibility that the popular game was harnessed for wicked purposes.

0:00 Cold open: Steppers, criminality, racial slurs

6:48 Intro: David’s treasonous ways

10:57 Smokey Robinson trying to pronounce Chanukah

20:10 Jar Jar Binks (!!!)

28:25 Conspiracy: Pokémon GO was a CIA plant

44:50 Slavery was the big lick

51:57 Fandom, fame, fitness, fishing

1:13:31 Homemade wine and new cocktail technology

1:19:30 Boundaries between teachers and students

1:25:34 Being tracked by the Apple Watch

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Has the biblical serpent Leviathan risen? Langston and David are joined by comedian Kiry Shabazz to discuss the scenarios in which we can eat, or be eaten by, the mythical sea beast. Then, they answer a listener voicemail about Terrence Howard’s porn habits.

0:00 Using the car back-up camera

7:10 Rappers acting as themselves in movies

12:20 Why the American accents in ‘The Odyssey’?

18:30 Denzel as a gateway into Shakespeare

27:45 Intro: The new soundboard

34:20 Smokey Robinson promoting (?) the gang life

37:15 The whimsical Baltimore accent

42:45 British rap…nah

49:00 What happened to white music culture?

54:15 Conspiracy: The Leviathan has risen

1:02:40 Do you worry that the Leviathan will eat you?

1:04:55 The unbelievable Langston car accident story

1:11:43 Voicemail: Terrence Howard watches incest porn

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