- 18 minutes 10 secondsE335: Convincing Yourself You Can Drink Again: 2 Reasons This Happens
Many of us, myself included, get stuck in a cycle where we keep convincing ourselves we can drink again and then we’re shocked when it doesn’t go well. There are a couple of reasons why this happens, and it’s not simply because you forgot. There’s more to it. You’re not doomed to keep repeating this cycle forever.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
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25 September 2026, 7:00 am - 25 minutes 27 secondsE334: Why We Resist Sobriety and What Acceptance Looks Like at Every Stage
There is a difference between knowing that you need to be sober and accepting that you need to be sober. Acceptance changes the question from “can I drink?” to “since drinking is not an option for me, what do I need now, and what am I going to do next?”
In this episode, I’m going to talk about why accepting sobriety can feel like such a loss, how resistance shows up differently when you’re sober curious, newly sober, or years into sobriety, and why you can accept that you have to be sober without liking it, feeling peaceful about it, or pretending that it’s fair.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
18 September 2026, 7:00 am - 13 minutes 37 secondsE333: Understanding the Problem Isn’t the Same as Changing It
There are a few stages that we go through on the path to truly acknowledging our drinking. One of the earlier ones is when drinking feels mysterious, so the “I drank and I don’t know why” or “it’s just a bad habit” person. Another one is getting really into learning and then doing nothing with everything you learn.
I got obsessed with the science when I quit drinking. It helped me understand myself and why this happened to me, but learning didn’t help me change what was causing all of my problems. I began shifting this podcast to talk more about behavior change once I noticed the same thing happening with my listeners. Sometimes I’d see people use scientific explanations before looking at the behavior right in front of them. They’d say they drank because PAWS is so hard to deal with, but they were on day 4. You can’t have post-acute withdrawal if you’re still in acute withdrawal. In that moment, the label became a way to explain the behavior without looking at what needed to change.
Insight gives us a reason to explain our behavior without having to change it.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
11 September 2026, 7:00 am - 27 minutes 28 secondsHigh Dopamine, Low Effort Behaviors and Making Sobriety Feel Less Hard (Replay)
Your brain is wired for quick hits of dopamine, or high-reward, low-effort habits that feel good in the moment but sabotage your long-term goals. Over time, this conditions your brain to expect rewards without effort, making real change feel harder than it actually is. In this episode, I’ll explain how these patterns destroy motivation, fuel inconsistent effort, and keep you stuck in the cycle of short bursts of change followed by slinking back to your old ways. You’ll learn how high dopamine, low effort behaviors impact the brain, how this makes us resistant to putting in effort, and 3 ways you may be making being sober feel more difficult for yourself than it needs to be- and how to shift that.
What to listen to next:
E265: Rewiring Your Reward System After Getting Sober
E263: Sugar Cravings After Quitting Drinking
E145: ADHD and Alcohol
Work with me:
- Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
- Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
- You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Courses:
- The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course
- Anger Management https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
Support the show:
- If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
- Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
4 September 2026, 7:00 am - 12 minutes 3 secondsE332: “Am I Bad Enough?”
When you're thinking about your relationship with alcohol you may stay stuck in, "am I bad enough?" for years before taking the next step. This episode is a way to think about the question and the ambivalence of wanting to quit but also secretly hoping you can drink without the consequences someday.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
28 August 2026, 7:00 am - 18 minutes 23 secondsE331: Wanting to Quit Isn’t the Same as Being Willing to Quit
There’s a difference between wanting the pain to stop and being willing to change the pattern, between wanting the benefits of sobriety and being willing to accept what sobriety requires, between saying, “I want to quit,” and actually becoming someone who protects that decision after the urgency fades. Wanting alone will keep you in the same loop if part of you still hopes that alcohol will stay available as an option.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21 August 2026, 7:00 am - 16 minutes 58 secondsE330: How to Stop Dabbling and Start Doing the Work
This is where I think people misunderstand what “doing the work” actually means. Doing the work is not just listening to sobriety content, understanding the science, or listening to people do the work in meetings. That information matters, but information alone isn’t going to change the pattern. You may have noticed how this podcast has evolved over the years. Each episode used to be a deep dive into the science, and then I’ve talked about it less and less. I learned that understanding what’s going on helps a lot, but it’s really the beginning of the story, not the end.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
14 August 2026, 7:00 am - 29 minutes 39 secondsHow Many Attempts Does it Take to Quit Drinking for Good (Replay)
I'm working hard on the last part of the dabbling series, but it's delayed by 1 week because I've been sick. Please enjoy this popular replay about how many times it takes to quit drinking for good.
Multiple quit attempts are common when you are trying to get sober, but how many tries does it take before it finally sticks? In this episode I’ll cover the statistics on relapse rates and share all the data I’ve found on the number of quit attempts it takes to stay sober for good. You’ll learn about what makes sobriety more challenging, and what you can do to make this quit attempt your final try.
What to listen to next:
E249: Alcohol and Cortisol: Extra Stress and Extra Cravings
E248: You Can’t Be Comfortable AND Stay Sober
E238: Why Moderation Doesn’t Work
E197: Making the DECISION to Quit Drinking
Sober Support:
- Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
- Weekly emails on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:
https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
7 August 2026, 7:00 am - 12 minutes 37 secondsE329: What Dabbling Looked Like For Me
Story time. In the last episode, I talked about the difference between dabbling in sobriety and actually committing to it. In the next episode, I’m going to talk more about what it looks like to stop dabbling and start doing the work. But before we get there, I want to tell you a story from when I was sober curious, because this is one of the clearest examples I have of thinking I was committed when I was actually dabbling so you can have an example of what I’m talking about in this dabbling series.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
The best way to stay connected in between episodes https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
31 July 2026, 7:00 am - 17 minutes 31 secondsE328: Why Dabbling Keeps You Stuck in the Drinking Cycle
Dabbling is when you stay close enough to sobriety to feel like you’re doing something, but not close enough for sobriety to actually change you. You listen to podcasts, follow sober accounts, make a Day 1 post. Maybe you go to a meeting. You lurk. You think about quitting. You say, “I know what I need to do.” You collect information, gather advice, and understand the problem intellectually. Then you disappear, or you get a little time and pull back, and you wait until things get bad again before you re-engage.
We all go through a dabbling stage. Sometimes listening, reading, and observing are the first steps. But at some point, dabbling becomes a way to get the emotional relief of feeling like you’re working on the problem, without requiring the behavioral change that would actually move you forward.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
24 July 2026, 7:00 am - 12 minutes 5 secondsSelf-Care is NOT Temporarily Turning Off Your Brain (Replay)
We think that turning off our brain with alcohol at the end of the day is “me time” and it’s the only way to get a break. This isn’t self-care, it’s called being depleted and trying to survive a life that drains you. Poor self-care is one of the most reliable predictors of relapse in people trying to get sober. It’s important and in this episode I’m explaining what self-care is and 5 simple ways you can begin to prioritize self-care in your life.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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