It’s frustrating if you keep trying to stop drinking, but aren’t succeeding. We’ve discussed the brain changes that make it more difficult in a few recent episodes, but there are other factors as well. In this episode we’ll discuss the difference in how people handle the same life circumstances and stressors, and what determines whether you will be resilient in the face of stress and hardship. You’ll learn about epigenetic changes that make it more difficult to be resilient and how your family, friends and support system plays a role.

Sober Powered Skills bonus episode: 3 Skills to Practice to Improve Your Resilience

https://www.soberpowered.com/skills

What to listen to next

E149: alcohol and the nervous system

E210: good news, your brain heals A Lot within 90 days… unless you relapse

E204: why some people get addicted and others don't

Bullying story:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/38-sober-powered-a-coffee-with-gillian-tietz/id1653657536?i=1000623771932

https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-461-wait-you-drink-poison/

Sober Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anticipation of the reward from alcohol is one of the main reasons we stay stuck in the back and forth cycle. We believe alcohol will help us relax, unwind, deal with negative emotions, have fun, or connect with others. This is what causes cravings for alcohol. In this episode I’ll explain how we learn to associate certain things with drinking, how we can break these associations after we quit drinking, and 2 ways that you can reduce cravings.

What to listen to next:

E62: dopamine deep dive

E197: making the decision to quit drinking

E143: how to stay accountable in your sobriety

E128: why cravings are so powerful 

Sober Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Sober Powered Skills (bonus episodes with practical application and coping skills) https://www.soberpowered.com/skills
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Significant brain healing can happen within the first few months of being sober. Finally some good news for us, right? In this episode you’ll learn more about how alcohol damages the brain to make it harder to stay sober and how the brains of people who are able to stay sober differ from those who go on to relapse. It’s not just deciding that you’re done with drinking and that’s it. That’s what we observe other people do who aren’t addicted and then we feel like losers with no self-control when we do the same. The problem is, when you drink heavily long term it changes your brain and this makes it hard for the brain to function properly.

What to listen to next:

E196: how the brain heals in sobriety

E191: going back and forth makes your cravings stronger

E205: kindling in alcohol withdrawal

E202: wtf is "the work"

Sober Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Sober Powered Skills (bonus episodes with practical application and coping skills) https://www.soberpowered.com/skills
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what should you focus on to stay sober? https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/661458075c79120015d2eb4f
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Behavioral addictions are stigmatized because they feel like more of a choice because there’s no substance changing your brain. However, process addictions or behavioral addictions like porn do actually change the brain in similar ways. In this episode I’ll explain why porn is so addicting, brain changes from porn, and how porn influences us to objectify women and see them as sex objects. Porn has another layer of addictiveness beyond brain changes, it causes novelty seeking. This destroys relationships and I will explain more about why porn promotes novelty seeking, being unable to enjoy regular sex, and warning signs to look out for that you or a loved one are addicted to porn.

What to listen to next:

E170: Why the First Year of Sobriety is so Hard (it's Dopamine!)

E128: Why Cravings are So Powerful (Attentional Bias)

E203: Why You Still Want Alcohol Even When You Hate It (It’s Dopamine!)

E201: Your Dysregulated Stress Response

E202: WTF is “The Work”?

E204: Can Anyone Get Addicted to Alcohol?

Get support for porn addiction:

Porn Addicts Anonymous (12 Steps) https://www.pornaddictsanonymous.org/

The Addicted Mind Podcast https://theaddictedmind.com/episode-260-unraveling-the-complexities-of-sex-and-porn-addiction-with-dr-paula-hall/

The Addicted Mind Shame Webinar https://theaddictedmind.com/shame

Therapy Brothers Podcast (Call in Show) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapy-brothers/id1500794877

Unhooked Podcast Breaking Porn Addiction https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unhooked-breaking-porn-addiction-podcast/id1648984850

Relay App https://www.joinrelay.app/porn-recovery

Find a therapist that specializes in porn addiction (sort by zip code, insurance, and select sex addiction under "issue") https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Get Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what should you focus on to stay sober? https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/661458075c79120015d2eb4f
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We do the same thing with our diet that we do with our drinking- our eating habits aren’t great, but they’re not bad either so it feels manageable. Our food quality impacts our mental health and stress levels though. I’ve been struggling with fatigue and depression, so it got me interested in the link. In this episode I’m explaining the importance of breakfast and a high quality diet. You’ll learn how what you eat impacts the way you feel, how stressed you are, and how this makes us more likely to reach for a drink or to emotionally eat at the end of the day. 

What to listen to next:

E201: your dysregulated stress response

E188: wellness over weight loss

Get Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what is causing your alcohol cravings? https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/65db8de55d674c92e333e001
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are lots of great things that happen when you quit drinking, but we can get distracted by wanting everything to be easy and perfect. In this episode I’m sharing 15 things you can look forward to from day 2 to years of sobriety. Wherever you’re at in your journey, this episode will remind you of some of the best things about being sober.

What to listen to next:

E17: alcohol and the heart

E169: alcohol and gut health

E159, 161, 162: physical, cognitive, and emotional benefits from quitting drinking

E188: wellness over weight loss

E75: how sleep recovers in sobriety

E157: brain fog and fatigue

E175: 5 ways to boost your energy

E170: why the first year of sobriety is so hard (it's dopamine)

Get Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what is causing your alcohol cravings? https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/65db8de55d674c92e333e001
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve probably heard of the acronym HALT, hungry, angry, lonely, tired. These are all triggers for relapse because they influence our ability to think things through and wait. These feelings make us impulsive, overwhelmed, and more likely to go for an instant gratification choice like drinking, even when we know we want to stay sober. In this episode I’m explaining why these 4 conditions are triggering. 

What to listen to next:

E192: E192: Do You Need a Drink or Are You Just Hungry? (Alcohol & Ghrelin)

E186: Anger Management in Sobriety

E199: Frustration Tolerance

E157: Fatigue and Brain Fog in Early Sobriety

E175: Tired After Quitting Drinking? Here’s How to Boost Your Energy Levels

E159: What to Expect Physically When You Quit Drinking

E161: What to Expect Emotionally When You Quit Drinking

E162: What to Expect Cognitively When You Quit Drinking

Get Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what is causing your alcohol cravings? https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/65db8de55d674c92e333e001
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For some of us, each time we go through withdrawal, the next withdrawal is worse. This is called kindling and in this episode I’m explaining what kindling is and how it happens. You’ll learn why we get withdrawal symptoms when we quit drinking, what delirium tremens is, and how kindling makes it harder to get sober. I’ll also discuss what counts as a cycle of withdrawal and what doesn’t.

What to listen to next:

E191: Going Back and Forth Makes Your Cravings Stronger

E201: Your Dysregulated Stress Response

E203: Why You Still Want Alcohol Even When You Hate It (It’s Dopamine!)

E22: Why You Think Alcohol Helps Your Anxiety

E180: Why Your Drinking Gets Worse Over Time, Not Better

E196: How the Brain Recovers After Quitting Drinking

E170: Here’s Why Early Sobriety is So Hard (it’s dopamine)

E161: What to Expect Emotionally in Early Sobriety

Get Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what is causing your alcohol cravings? https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/65db8de55d674c92e333e001
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is everyone on the slow path towards addiction? Are all moderate drinkers a little bit addicted? We know alcohol is an addictive substance that gets us hooked and then changes our brains to keep us hooked, but why does this process even start? In this episode I’ll explain 15 risk factors that can lead us to become addicted to alcohol. You’ll learn about emotional factors, genetic factors, and life circumstances that influence the risk of developing a problem with alcohol.

What to listen to next:

E177: 4 years sober. Why did this happen to me?

E199: frustration tolerance

E203: why you want alcohol even when you hate it

E71 and 72: trauma episodes

E29: how alcohol affects the teen brain

E201: your dysregulated stress response (cortisol)

E202: wtf is "the work"?

E88: sibling studies: why one gets addicted and the other doesn't

Get Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what is causing your alcohol cravings? https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/65db8de55d674c92e333e001
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Drinking stops being fun and enjoyable, but we continue to do it anyway. Why is this? We know it makes us miserable and we want to stop, but by 4pm or after a few days or weeks of sober time we talk ourselves back into it. In this episode you’ll learn about the adaptations that happen in the brain as we drink heavily and how this leads to compulsive drinking despite the consequences. I’ll explain how alcohol changes our dopamine system to increase cravings, prevent us from stopping once we’ve started, and keep us hooked on alcohol long after it’s stopped being fun. We’ll end by discussing why we continue to drink at this point and how this recovers in sobriety.

What to listen to next:

E22: why you think alcohol helps your anxiety

E125: why you can't stop drinking once you start

E170: why the first year of sobriety is so hard

E128: why cravings are so powerful

E201: your dysregulated stress response

E33: why does drinking make us feel energized?

E157: brain fog and fatigue

Get Support:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Sober Group Coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays with the sober tip of the week, announcements, interviews, and more. https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what is causing your alcohol cravings? https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/65db8de55d674c92e333e001
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I talk about doing “the work” a lot on this podcast, so let’s talk about what that work is. In this episode I’ll explain what the work is, roadblocks to doing the work, how you can get started and detours to be aware of on the journey. You’ll learn about victim mentality, blaming others, and if we have to do “the work” forever.

What to listen to next:

E189: rumination

E197: making the decision to quit drinking

Resources I offer:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
• Sober Group Coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
• Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger
• Weekly emails on Thursdays with the sober tip of the week, announcements, interviews, and more. https://www.soberpowered.com/email
• Quiz: what is causing your alcohol cravings? https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/65db8de55d674c92e333e001
• Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more:

https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support my work https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices