• 21 minutes 12 seconds
    What it Means to Use Alcohol to Escape (a replay)

    Many of us use alcohol to turn off our brain, escape our problems, or check out, but escapism is actually associated with more intense drinking and lower life satisfaction. In this episode you’ll learn about the different theories behind escapism, why we’re doing this, and how it makes our problems worse. I hope that this episode can help you make some connections so you realize drinking isn’t helping you. I’ll also share a personal story of when I drank to escape and how that went for me.


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    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.




    What to listen to next

    E213: self care is not temporarily turning off your brain

    E214: self-medication

    E216: 4 types of impulsivity


    Sources

    1. Jouhki, H., Oksanen, A. To Get High or to Get Out? Examining the Link between Addictive Behaviors and Escapism. Substance Use & Misuse. 2022.


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    16 October 2026, 7:00 am
  • 25 minutes 14 seconds
    E336: Why You Feel Like You Need Alcohol to Relax (Alcohol and Stress)

    I know it feels like alcohol is required to relax. I felt that way too, but it's not. Turning off your brain at the end of the day is not the same thing as relaxing. In this episode, I’m going to explain what the research tells us about alcohol and your stress system, why short-term relief doesn’t necessarily mean drinking is helping you cope over time, and how stress can become connected to the motivation to keep drinking. Let’s start with what happens when you drink after a stressful experience, because understanding why alcohol feels helpful is part of understanding why we become so attached to it.


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    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.


    Sources:

    1. Muehlhan M, Höcker A, Miller R, et al. HPA axis stress reactivity and hair cortisol concentrations in recently detoxified alcoholics and healthy controls with and without childhood maltreatment. Addict Biol. 2020
    2. Blaine SK, Ridner C, Campbell B, et al. People who binge drink show neuroendocrine tolerance to alcohol cues that is associated with immediate and future drinking- results from a randomized clinical experiment. Neuropsychopharmacology. 2023

    4. Adinoff B, Leonard D, Price J, et al. Adrenocortical sensitivity, moderated by ongoing stress, predicts drinking intensity in alcohol-dependent men. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2017


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    9 October 2026, 7:00 am
  • 30 minutes 55 seconds
    How the Sober Brain Breaks Down Alcohol Associations (But They’ll Build Back Up if You Drink Again- A Replay)

    We believe alcohol is required for vacations, unwinding, dealing with stress, celebrating, and socializing. We have built up powerful associations in our brains to reinforce these beliefs through dopamine and repetition. After you get sober, facing life without alcohol can feel impossible. Everything reminds you of alcohol. You start to notice how prevalent it is on TV and in movies. In this episode, I’m explaining how the brain builds associations with alcohol, how that gets worse while we stay in the back and forth, and how we break down these associations after getting sober. 


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    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 


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    2 October 2026, 7:00 am
  • 16 minutes 25 seconds
    E335: Convincing Yourself You Can Drink Again: 2 Reasons This Happens

    Many of us, myself included, get stuck in a cycle where we keep convincing ourselves we can drink again and then we’re shocked when it doesn’t go well. There are a couple of reasons why this happens, and it’s not simply because you forgot. There’s more to it. You’re not doomed to keep repeating this cycle forever.

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    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 


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    25 September 2026, 7:00 am
  • 23 minutes 12 seconds
    E334: Why We Resist Sobriety and What Acceptance Looks Like at Every Stage

    There is a difference between knowing that you need to be sober and accepting that you need to be sober. Acceptance changes the question from “can I drink?” to “since drinking is not an option for me, what do I need now, and what am I going to do next?”

    In this episode, I’m going to talk about why accepting sobriety can feel like such a loss, how resistance shows up differently when you’re sober curious, newly sober, or years into sobriety, and why you can accept that you have to be sober without liking it, feeling peaceful about it, or pretending that it’s fair.


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    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 


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    18 September 2026, 7:00 am
  • 12 minutes 22 seconds
    E333: Understanding the Problem Isn’t the Same as Changing It

    There are a few stages that we go through on the path to truly acknowledging our drinking. One of the earlier ones is when drinking feels mysterious, so the “I drank and I don’t know why” or “it’s just a bad habit” person. Another one is getting really into learning and then doing nothing with everything you learn.

    I got obsessed with the science when I quit drinking. It helped me understand myself and why this happened to me, but learning didn’t help me change what was causing all of my problems. I began shifting this podcast to talk more about behavior change once I noticed the same thing happening with my listeners. Sometimes I’d see people use scientific explanations before looking at the behavior right in front of them. They’d say they drank because PAWS is so hard to deal with, but they were on day 4. You can’t have post-acute withdrawal if you’re still in acute withdrawal. In that moment, the label became a way to explain the behavior without looking at what needed to change.

    Insight gives us a reason to explain our behavior without having to change it.



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    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 


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    11 September 2026, 7:00 am
  • 25 minutes 13 seconds
    High Dopamine, Low Effort Behaviors and Making Sobriety Feel Less Hard (Replay)

    Your brain is wired for quick hits of dopamine, or high-reward, low-effort habits that feel good in the moment but sabotage your long-term goals. Over time, this conditions your brain to expect rewards without effort, making real change feel harder than it actually is. In this episode, I’ll explain how these patterns destroy motivation, fuel inconsistent effort, and keep you stuck in the cycle of short bursts of change followed by slinking back to your old ways. You’ll learn how high dopamine, low effort behaviors impact the brain, how this makes us resistant to putting in effort, and 3 ways you may be making being sober feel more difficult for yourself than it needs to be- and how to shift that.


    What to listen to next:

    E265: Rewiring Your Reward System After Getting Sober

    E263: Sugar Cravings After Quitting Drinking

    E145: ADHD and Alcohol


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    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.



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    4 September 2026, 7:00 am
  • 10 minutes 48 seconds
    E332: “Am I Bad Enough?”

    When you're thinking about your relationship with alcohol you may stay stuck in, "am I bad enough?" for years before taking the next step. This episode is a way to think about the question and the ambivalence of wanting to quit but also secretly hoping you can drink without the consequences someday.

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    Sources are posted on my website

    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 


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    28 August 2026, 7:00 am
  • 16 minutes 8 seconds
    E331: Wanting to Quit Isn’t the Same as Being Willing to Quit

    There’s a difference between wanting the pain to stop and being willing to change the pattern, between wanting the benefits of sobriety and being willing to accept what sobriety requires, between saying, “I want to quit,” and actually becoming someone who protects that decision after the urgency fades. Wanting alone will keep you in the same loop if part of you still hopes that alcohol will stay available as an option.

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    Sources are posted on my website

    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 



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    21 August 2026, 7:00 am
  • 15 minutes 43 seconds
    E330: How to Stop Dabbling and Start Doing the Work

    This is where I think people misunderstand what “doing the work” actually means. Doing the work is not just listening to sobriety content, understanding the science, or listening to people do the work in meetings. That information matters, but information alone isn’t going to change the pattern. You may have noticed how this podcast has evolved over the years. Each episode used to be a deep dive into the science, and then I’ve talked about it less and less. I learned that understanding what’s going on helps a lot, but it’s really the beginning of the story, not the end. 

    Work with me:

    Weekly email:


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    Sources are posted on my website

    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 


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    14 August 2026, 7:00 am
  • 27 minutes 24 seconds
    How Many Attempts Does it Take to Quit Drinking for Good (Replay)

    I'm working hard on the last part of the dabbling series, but it's delayed by 1 week because I've been sick. Please enjoy this popular replay about how many times it takes to quit drinking for good.

    Multiple quit attempts are common when you are trying to get sober, but how many tries does it take before it finally sticks? In this episode I’ll cover the statistics on relapse rates and share all the data I’ve found on the number of quit attempts it takes to stay sober for good. You’ll learn about what makes sobriety more challenging, and what you can do to make this quit attempt your final try.

    What to listen to next:

    E249: Alcohol and Cortisol: Extra Stress and Extra Cravings

    E248: You Can’t Be Comfortable AND Stay Sober

    E238: Why Moderation Doesn’t Work

    E197: Making the DECISION to Quit Drinking


    Sober Support:


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    Sources are posted on my website

    Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 


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    7 August 2026, 7:00 am
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