When you’re in early sobriety, it can feel like you’re overthinking everything. You’re thinking about what you’re going to drink, what you’re going to say, whether you should even go to something, how you’re going to get through the night, the weekend, the next event. It can feel excessive, like you’re putting way too much thought into situations that used to feel automatic.

Your brain still sees alcohol as important. Your decision isn’t fully stabilized yet. So it’s trying to protect you by scanning ahead, predicting situations, and figuring out how to handle them before you get there. It’s not trying to make your life harder, it’s trying to keep you safe in a situation where things still feel uncertain.

I know it can feel frustrating to have to think about sobriety so much and like this is going to be your life forever, but this phase is about learning how to use that thinking in a way that actually supports you instead of fighting against it.

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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Not everyone has a rock bottom moment and you can't control if and when it happens for you. In this episode, I share how you can make the decision final without waiting for it to be "that bad".

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you feel like you’re doing well for a while and then suddenly find yourself questioning whether you can drink again, this episode will help you understand why that keeps happening. We’re going to look at how “not right now” thinking keeps alcohol relevant in your brain and how that creates mental fatigue over time. I’ll also explain why the idea of “forever” feels so uncomfortable, but is actually what makes things easier.

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A short story about how I learned what "the work" is.

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are a lot of people in the sober community getting adult ADHD diagnoses, so what’s going on here? There is a strong link between struggling with ADHD and developing a problem with alcohol because just like with anxiety, trauma, or depression, alcohol can be used to self-medicate the symptoms of ADHD. In this episode you’ll learn why alcohol and ADHD are linked, what is going on in the brain’s of people with ADHD, and how having ADHD makes it harder to stop drinking once you start.

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been completely sure you’re done drinking, and then a few hours or days later it suddenly doesn’t feel like a big deal anymore? That shift can feel confusing, even scary, like you’ve lost your commitment or changed your mind. In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening in your brain in those moments, why your thinking changes, and why it feels so real when it does. Once you understand this pattern, you’ll see why trying harder hasn’t worked, and what actually makes your commitment hold.

What to listen to next: E283

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of people think they’re resilient because they’ve been through a lot. But if that were true, then why do the same situations keep hitting just as hard, or harder, every time? In this episode, I’m going to break down the difference between surviving something and actually becoming resilient, what’s happening in your brain when you cope by escaping, and why that pattern keeps people stuck in the back and forth with drinking. You’ll learn what actually needs to change so you don’t feel like you need relief from your life all the time.

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After getting sober many of us notice we go harder on scrolling, being productive, or people pleasing. In this episode, I want to walk you through how these behaviors are actually serving the same purpose, where they come from, what they’re doing in your brain, and why they can keep you feeling stuck even when it looks like you’re doing everything right.

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s a very specific thought pattern that keeps people stuck with drinking for years. It sounds like: “I know I should probably stop… but it’s not that bad”, “I’ll deal with it later”, “It’ll click eventually.”

And the tricky part is… those thoughts feel reasonable. There will always be a big enough stressor or a drinking event to justify delaying quitting. You’re still functioning. Nothing has completely fallen apart. You can still point to parts of your life that are going fine. So it doesn’t feel urgent.

This is one of the hardest places to be because when things are obviously bad, the decision gets made for you. There’s a clear reason to change. But when things are just “okay”… your brain keeps you stuck in this middle ground where you’re uncomfortable enough to think about quitting, but not uncomfortable enough to actually do it.

And that’s where people can stay for a really long time. Going back and forth. Thinking about it. Questioning it. Telling themselves they’ll deal with it later. This isn’t you taking your time or being thoughtful. This is a pattern. And the longer you stay in it, the more it reinforces itself.

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are experts at making our emotions much worse than they really are. You might feel stressed, and within a few seconds it becomes “I can’t handle this.” You feel overwhelmed, and suddenly it’s “this is too much.” You feel stuck or frustrated, and your mind goes to “this is never going to change.”

In those moments, it doesn’t feel like a thought. It feels true. It’s not just that you’re feeling something uncomfortable. It’s that the feeling turns into a conclusion about your life.

Stress turns into “I can’t handle this.” Frustration turns into “this will never change.” Discomfort turns into “I need this to stop.”

Once that happens, it changes how you experience everything. It changes how you think, feel, and what you want to do next. So in this episode, we’re going to break down why that happens. Why emotions don’t just stay as emotions, why your brain turns them into meaning, and why that can make you feel trapped, overwhelmed, or hopeless, even when the situation itself hasn’t actually changed.

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of people quit drinking expecting to feel calmer. You think sobriety is going to reduce anxiety, improve sleep, and make life feel more stable. It does… eventually. But for a while, many people experience the opposite. You feel on edge for no clear reason. Small things overwhelm you. You’re exhausted but can’t fully relax. Your sleep is inconsistent, your emotions are intense, and stress hits harder than it used to.

And this is where people start to wonder if something is wrong, or worse, if alcohol was actually helping. Years of drinking trained your body to live in a constant state of stress. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what alcohol actually does to the nervous system, why sobriety can feel so dysregulating at first, and how your brain and body relearn safety over time.

Get the E313 email that I reference at the end https://soberpowered.myflodesk.com/e313

Work with me:

• Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

• Skills library https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons

• Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Weekly email:

• You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

• If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

• Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices