The Tanner Wallace Podcast

Dr. Tanner Wallace

Energetic evidence-based exploration

  • 27 minutes 23 seconds
    Embracing Healing: A Journey through the Big Ideas of CPTSD Recovery

    Welcome to a brand new season of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast! In this new season, we embark on a profound exploration of the central teachings of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) recovery. I'm thrilled to guide you through each of the 12 foundational principles, and in today's brief introduction, I invite you to prepare your heart and mind for the enlightening journey ahead. As we delve into these big ideas, you'll discover invaluable insights and practical tools to help you navigate your own path toward healing. Throughout the season, we'll uncover the essence of each principle, shedding light on why it's crucial for your recovery journey. I'll also share strategies to help you extract the most wisdom from each episode and integrate it into your daily life, whether through journaling prompts, mindfulness practices, or community support, allowing you to deepen into the medicine that is available to all of us through this podcast. Thanks for tuning in!

    Key Points From This Episode:

    • The overarching theme of Season 12 and why it’s relevant to your recovery.

    • What you can expect from the upcoming episodes and how to get the most out of them.

    • Ways to structure your implementation or actions taken from listening to this podcast.

    • Objectives for the CPTSD Medicine movement and your journey from novice to expert.

    • A sneak peek of the next episode in the season!

    • Reasons to join the Students of the Medicine Community.

    Quotes:

    “When you’re given a [big idea, story, phrase, or memory prompt], it will provide you with key anchors into what’s important – and what you are orienting towards without being so prescriptive that you won’t be able to innovate.” — Tanner Wallace [0:09:11]

     

    “[The CPTSD Medicine movement is] a group of lifelong learners that are intellectually curious, willing to study, willing to put the time in to become an expert but also [know] that, at some point, we have to [step up and ask] as a novice and risk holding Protective Parts.” — Tanner Wallace [0:19:42]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

    Students of the Medicine Community

    Book A New Client Consultation

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

    Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

    3 May 2024, 1:09 pm
  • 26 minutes 10 seconds
    Five Key Lessons for Partnership in CPTSD Recovery

    During the final episode of our season on partnership in CPTSD recovery, Tanner summarizes some of the biggest lessons she has learned in partnership. While some of these are universal, all are especially important in the context of complex trauma recovery and partnership. We explore how to support and build up our relationship as we do some of the tougher healing work of recovery. We unpack the valuable practice of building time to talk into your daily schedule and discuss what is often behind relationship issues that keep on arising. Next, we explore what it might look like to create a sacred union and refuse to disrespect it, touching on the reorganizing and disorienting that occurs during CPTSD recovery. Lastly, you’ll hear all about the beautiful balance of having independent pursuits and shared values in your relationship and how important it is to be able to answer the question of who you are outside of it. Thanks for joining us for this season! I will back May 3rd with the first episode of Season 12! 

    Key Points From This Episode:

    • Welcome to the final episode on our season dedicated to partnership in CPTSD recovery. 

    • Honoring those who have been with us for the whole series.

    • Plans for Season 12 of CPTSD to be released on the third of May.

    • What this episode consists of: five lessons Tanner learned in partnership while healing from complex trauma.

    • The need to build in time to talk into your daily schedule. 

    • Understanding that some things that keep coming back simply do so because they are unresolved.

    • Creating the sacred union and refusing to disrespect your partner.

    • The reorganizing and disorienting that occurs during CPTSD recovery.

    • Living in the overlap of shared values with your partner. 

    • Supporting independent pursuits and appropriate levels of autonomy. 

    • Answering the question of who you are without your partner.

    • A recap of the five lessons learned. 

     

    Quotes:

     

    “It can be very reorganizing and disorienting to come to meet the human that emerges during CPTSD recovery.” — Tanner Wallace [18:26]

     

    “What we want to do is come into this beautiful middle space where I am dependent on my partner in very healthy, intentional ways, but I’m also supported in my independent pursuits and I am granted a level of autonomy that feels right in my body.” — Tanner Wallace [21:57]

     

    “Each partner should be able to answer, at any point in the relationship, who am I without you?” — Tanner Wallace [22:23]

     

    “If it’s not resolved, that means it’s going to keep coming back.” — Tanner Wallace [23:28]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

    Book A New Client Consultation

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

    Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

     

    22 March 2024, 9:52 pm
  • 43 minutes 32 seconds
    CPTSD & Partnership Listener Questions and Responses

    We can learn a lot from other people's questions, especially since they can bring up ideas we may never have thought to explore or put forward ourselves. And if you’re in any kind of group therapy setting, the response from the guide, coach, or mentor, will likely be meant for you as well, not just the person posing the question. In that spirit, we invite you to join today’s conversation as we answer a series of questions submitted by you, our listeners! Tuning in you’ll hear thoughtful and considered responses to each query. We explore prompts that will help you answer the sacred question “How to know when it’s time to say goodbye”, options for establishing a fresh start with a long-term partner who hurt you in the past, what you need to understand about the concept of integration after unburdening, and much more. We hope you’ll join us for this expansive conversation as we explore listener questions and beyond!

     

    Key Points From This Episode:

     

    • Details on the special training program being launched in October and how to get involved.

    • An overview of the exciting things happening in the CPTSD universe.

    • Answering your listener questions on CPTSD.

    • Old hurts in the context of CPTSD recovery, and a long-term relationship.

    • How to truly start fresh, and build a safe and nourishing relationship with the same partner.

    • Working internally with the younger wounded parts of ourselves.

    • Updating those internal parts so that they can see what our current reality is.

    • Prompts to help you answer the sacred question “How to know it’s time to say goodbye”.

    • The many steps you can take before concluding that it’s time to say goodbye.

    • An examination of what to do if your partner has narcissistic characteristics.

    • Acknowledging the good within them and building bridges with their protective parts.

    • Explaining the concept of integration after unburdening.

    • Taking a moment to honor the privilege of answering your listener questions.

     

    Quotes:

    “There's so much to learn from other people's questions, because sometimes there's questions posed that we would have never thought to ask.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [05:48]

     

    “Sometimes older versions of us from our adolescent years will confuse our partner for our parent or will confuse our partner for an ex-lover or an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. And that needs to be cleaned up because that's also a distortion.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [15:21]

     

    “There's a very high bar for saying goodbye, in my personal opinion, because there's so much that can be done. To reach that point where you say with authenticity, clarity, transparency, it's time for me to say goodbye.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [25:22]

     

    “A human that doesn't see other humans as human has been hurt horrifically. At some deep cellular level, they've been rejected.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [29:34]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

    Book A New Client Consultation 

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

    Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

     

    15 March 2024, 8:14 pm
  • 36 minutes 2 seconds
    Navigating Extended Relationships within Trauma Ecosystems

    In this culture of never-ending healing and never-ending personal development, it’s important to remember that one can heal from CPTSD, permanently. But to do so, your relational ecosystem needs to be strong and for that, you need a base of supportive humans. Today’s show is all about navigating complex relationships with extended friends and family in your trauma ecosystem. We discuss the role and importance of good communication, how others may react to your healing journey, the responsibility of safety in adults and children, and everything you need to take into account regarding your partner and your extended trauma ecosystem. We also assess four trauma sets that may negatively impact partnerships, and we are reminded of the importance of the unburdening process and of separating oneself energetically while remaining emotionally invested.  

     

    Key Points From This Episode:

     

    • How it’s possible to completely heal from CPTSD.

    • Why it’s important to know how to navigate relationships within your trauma ecosystem. 

    • The role of communication. 

    • How friends and family may react to your healing journey. 

    • What it looks like as you progress further in your recovery.  

    • Why safety is an internal experience for adults and an external demand for children. 

    • What you need to know regarding extended family, friends, and your partner. 

    • Four trauma sets that influence partnerships. 

    • Separating energetically but remaining close emotionally. 

     

    Quotes:

     

    “CPTSD, [a] complex trauma, is a specific relational injury that impacts almost every aspect of your life, internally and externally. And yet, it can be healed. It can be resolved. You can complete active recovery of CPTSD.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [01:50]

     

    “The disconnections, the no contact, the estrangements; all of those, as I understand it now, are human attempts to demand external safety when in truth, safety is an internal experience.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [06:00]

     

    “Continue to unburden your own system and radiate compassion, forgiveness, and love, and keep showing up in those frequencies and see what happens over time.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [11:43]

     

    “Just repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. It’s the same basic things again and again and again that create a successful CPTSD recovery journey.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [34:56]

     

    Longer Quotes:

     

    “You can’t really have a real, authentic, intimate relationship with somebody [who’s] running [on] survival instinct. You can appreciate them, you can hold space for them, you can be around them, you can laugh with them, you can even have fun with them, but that deep, reciprocal, authentic, genuine intimacy is not possible.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [09:54]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

     

    SUBMIT A QUESTION

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

    Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

     

    8 March 2024, 11:39 pm
  • 33 minutes 36 seconds
    A Conversation About Sex and CPTSD

    This episode of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast dives into a complicated, yet necessary topic: sex. Context and history are important here because sex, sexuality, sexual satisfaction, sexual connection, and intimacy during CPTSD recovery can be so wildly nuanced. Join Tanner as she delves into why sex should be something you and your partner talk about (often) and invites you to become truly curious. She unpacks several instances that indicate a conversation is necessary, highlights a critical foundational principle to fuel mutual sexual satisfaction, and shares several pieces of homework for you and your partner to consider, work through, and implement as you continue on your journey toward improved sexual connection in your relationship. Tanner brings it all together by emphasizing the importance of radical responsibility and offers some practical tips to get you started on this beautiful and profound journey!

    Key Points From This Episode:

    • Reasons that sex should not be taken off the table as a topic of conversation.

    • Why sex (and all it encompasses) is a basic, core, human need.

    • An invitation to be curious with your partner about sex.

    • Different indications that conversations about sex need to be had.

    • A disclaimer to pause the podcast to go and have a conversation.

    • Power meets power; a critical foundational principle to fuel mutual sexual satisfaction.

    • Talking to your children about sexual satisfaction and pleasure (solo and in partnership).

    • The importance of exploring your own pleasure.

    • What it really means to know your partner’s true sexual preferences.

    • Reaching mutual fantasy space alignment. 

    • Things we cannot ask to override or deny in the sexual satisfaction space. 

    • Bringing it all together: taking radical responsibility for what is yours.

    • How to get to a place where taking radical responsibility is possible. 

    • Insights you can use to start this journey for you and your partner. 

    Quotes:

    “Sex, sexuality, sexual satisfaction, sexual connection, and intimacy are so wildly nuanced.” — Tanner Wallace [0:02:39]

    “Our sexuality, sexual connection, [and] sexual expression in the context of a long-term partnership is non-negotiable. Sexual satisfaction, sexual expression, sexual fulfillment is a basic core human need.” — Tanner Wallace [0:06:45]

    “Anything but neutral curiosity is an indication that there’s some work to be done here.” — Tanner Wallace [0:09:05]

    “Waiting until you are healed to deal with your sexuality [and] sexual issues is avoiding a beautiful, sacred, profound training ground that is only possible in a partnership. There is no other space where this particular thing can be held.” — Tanner Wallace [0:30:44]

    Longer Quotes:

    “Our sexuality is not just practical. It’s not just transactional. It’s truly about life force activation. It’s about primal, deep, body energy. It’s about creativity, it’s about expression, it’s about release, it’s about satisfaction. It’s about flow states and transcending our human experience. It is truly about — [unlocking] experiences beyond what our human brain can comprehend.” — Tanner Wallace [0:15:17]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

    SUBMIT A QUESTION

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

    Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

     

    1 March 2024, 2:03 pm
  • 35 minutes 50 seconds
    Big Energy of Money and CPTSD Recovery

    Money can be a very difficult topic of discussion and often causes conflict in all kinds of relationships; especially when you, your partner, or both of you are healing from CPTSD. Today on the CPTSD Medicine Podcast we are continuing our conversations about CPTSD recovery in relationships, and delving into money specifically. Tune in to hear about what you’ve missed this season, what you can expect from the rest of the season, things to look forward to, and how to stay up to date with this organization. We discuss some of the natural trauma responses to money, before stressing why you have to honor the existence of those trauma responses. Finally, we’ll share four practical strategies you can use alongside the understanding of your trauma responses to money to help heal CPTSD in partnerships. This is an incredibly important episode that you don’t want to miss out on!

     

    Key Points From This Episode:

     

    • How you can get involved in and stay up to date with this organization. 

    • What you can expect from the rest of season 11 of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast. 

    • Why working out problems is a power struggle in relationships where CPTSD is present.

    • Today’s topic of discussion: money. 

    • Some of the common trauma responses related to money. 

    • The importance of honoring the presence of these money-related trauma responses. 

    • Practical strategies to use in collaboration with understanding trauma responses to money.

    • One: understanding your individual values in-depth. 

    • Two: cleaning up all things money. 

    • Three: dream with your partner. 

    • Four: practice greater gratitude towards what you already have. 

     

    Quotes:

     

    “Everything you need to heal is already inside of you, you just need some facilitation, structure, understanding, and practice to know how to access it consistently.” — Tanner Wallace [01:13]

     

    “Money is associated with a particular survival mode [for people with CPTSD].” — Tanner Wallace [21:01]

     

    “[Use] these money conversations as the healing, not [standing] in the way of the healing.” — Tanner Wallace [29:57]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

     

    Monarch Money

    SUBMIT A QUESTION

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

    Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

     

    23 February 2024, 11:05 pm
  • 41 minutes 16 seconds
    Breaking the Cycle: Parenting on Your CPTSD Healing Journey

    For adult humans living with the painful effects of their own upbringing, becoming a parent can introduce a variety of new cognitive, emotional, and practical challenges. In today’s episode, we touch on the areas of your relationship with your children and partner that can be very triggering during CPTSD recovery. Even if you don’t have children, this episode will help you guide and support family members, friends, loved ones, and other CycleBreakers in their parenting journey. It will also help you unearth places in your lived experience of complex trauma where you might want to do some grief work or help you work through the difficult question, “Why didn’t I have children?” Tuning in, you’ll learn about the five often-unconscious activations that children can bring up in our lives when we have unresolved trauma, practical and energetic ways to work through them with your partner, and how to show up from a place of Self Energy with curiosity, courage, creativity, compassion, and calmness.

     

    Key Points From This Episode:

     

    • Important context for this podcast, the work this community does, and how to learn more.

    • How this episode can be productive for your CPTSD recovery, even if you don’t have kids.

    • Different configurations within the framework of parenting.

    • Things that can prevent us from parenting from a grounded place of pure personal power.

    • Why breaking the cycle of trauma is one of the main goals in our parenting relationships.

    • The deep importance of doing this work for your children (and for yourself).

    • Insight into the Motherless Mother frequency that this work requires.

    • Five activations children can bring up in our lives when we have unresolved trauma.

    • Examples of how these activations might play out in your environment.

    • The role of consciousness in helping us lead from a place of Self Energy.

    • Practical and energetic considerations for cycle-breaking parenting.

    • How to become a bridge to Healing Power while also healing yourself in the process.

     

    Quotes:

     

    “When activated, we start to drop into Primitive Survival Instinct, Hurt Parts, Wounded Younger Parts, Aggressive Protective Parts, Collapsed Protective Parts. – We’re no longer leading [or] parenting our child from a grounded, anchored place of pure personal power.” — Tanner Wallace [16:19]

     

    “What am I doing for my kids to break the cycle [of trauma] so that their children are trauma-free?” — Tanner Wallace [19:21]

     

    “There’s a lot of work planning [and practical considerations] that must go into cycle-breaking parenting.” — Tanner Wallace [31:43]

     

    “When in distress, lean in to connect.” — Tanner Wallace [36:17]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

     

    'A Season for Partners of Humans Recovering from CPTSD'

    SUBMIT A QUESTION

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

    Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

     

    16 February 2024, 11:58 am
  • 18 minutes 45 seconds
    Radical Responsibility in Your Partnership While Recovering from CPTSD

    A developmental relationship is such a gift to us as humans. It’s the kind of relationship where you are fundamentally changed because of it. You would not be the same human without the stimulation, activation, scaffolding, prompts, support, love, and cheerleading from your partner. The same is true for them! This episode is our final installment of the introductory material for Season 11, setting the context for three very specific conversations to come, which center around parenting, money, and sex. Exploring what it means to take radical responsibility at every level of the healing journey, we discuss navigating the leapfrogging that might happen along the way, reciprocity and holding space for one another, and more. Don’t miss this foundational conversation offering meaningful support for your journey. Thanks for joining us! 

     

    Key Points From This Episode:

    • A reminder of how to approach this series dedicated to the partners of humans with CPTSD.

    • What it means to have a developmental relationship.

    • Requirements for building a developmental relationship. 

    • Quantum leaps that may happen during the process of building with a partner.

    • Why this series is dedicated to Tanner’s partner, Matt, and a glimpse into their journey.

    • Where this episode fits into our series: the final context-setting conversation.

    • What radical responsibility means and why it is so difficult.

    • One of the early milestones of CPTSD: dropping the childlike energy of ‘I don’t want to have to do this’.

    • The reciprocal holding of space for the partner that wants to be witnessed.

    • Allowing one another the room to actively grieve by taking on responsibility in the home. 

    • Periods of time when a Wounded Younger Part may require all of the attention of a partner. 

    • The longest, most pervasive phase of healing is when you take radical responsibility for every choice you have made. 

    • Different types of responsibility necessary for different parts of the journey.

    • Why it’s necessary for there to be a reciprocal back and forth. 

    • Key questions to ask yourself following this episode.

     

    Quotes:

    “One of the early milestones of CPTSD recovery is dropping the immature, childlike energy of ‘I don’t want to have to do this’.” — Tanner Wallace [06:14]

     

    “Your partner is not a parent. However, they can provide a pseudo-parenting context for a short period of time while an unburdening is happening.” — Tanner Wallace [11:01]

     

    “At different points of the journey, there are different types of radical responsibility.” — Tanner Wallace [14:34]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

     SUBMIT A QUESTION

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine of YouTube

    Opt-In The Calling monthly newsletter

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

     

    10 February 2024, 3:39 am
  • 28 minutes 33 seconds
    Empowerment For Unburdening Within Your Partnership: Four Must-Haves

    Relationships are the ideal training ground for complex trauma recovery. During this episode, we continue our series equipping and encouraging those in partnership with humans healing from complex trauma. Healing is impossible without committing to the process of unburdening yourself. This episode explores four things you can create in your relationship to set the context to really support your individual unburdening work. Starting with a definition for the unburdening process, we explore ways to develop a high level of trust, eradicate shame from the environment of your relationship, and create a context where each person can reach out and touch fear. We discuss why trust is so important and unpack what it means to hold space for your partner’s emotions without taking them on, as we may be tempted to do. Tune in to learn more today. 

     

    Key Points From This Episode:

     

    • A recap of the four episodes addressed to the partners of humans dealing with complex trauma leading up to this one. 

    • The upcoming Q&A session and where to submit your questions. 

    • Holding space for those whose partners are unwilling to engage with this content.

    • Advice for those without the opportunity to meet their partners on this journey.

    • A suggestion for the best way to approach this series with your partner.

    • Why Tanner has dedicated a whole episode to unburdening. 

    • What unburdening is: storytelling with neural networks. 

    • Introducing four things you can create in your relationship to set the context for individual unburdening work. 

    • The role of trust in creating a peaceful homeostasis as you enter your internal world.

    • Establishing a no-shame environment for the course corrections that will need to happen.

    • Creating an environment where it’s possible to reach out and touch fear.

    • Holding big emotions including fear without taking them on.

    • Distinguishing between holding space for your partner’s emotions and taking them on.

    • Why trust is so important and the necessary work to do to sustain it. 

     

    Quotes:

    “In my opinion, unburdening is essential, required, non-negotiable for permanent healing of CPTSD.” — Tanner Wallace [08:40]

     

    “Trust is critically important in small and big ways.” — Tanner Wallace [23:29]

     

    “Relationships are the perfect, ideal training ground for complex trauma recovery.” — Tanner Wallace [27:27]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

     SUBMIT A QUESTION

    The Unburdening Process: Part 1

    The Unburdening Process: Part 2

    The Unburdening Process: Part 3

    The Unburdening Process: Part 4

    The Unburdening Process: Part 5

    The Unburdening Process: Part 6

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

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    CPTSD Medicine of YouTube

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    CPTSD Medicine Podcast

     

    2 February 2024, 11:06 pm
  • 47 minutes 24 seconds
    Opening Up the Path for Your Partner’s Complex Trauma Recovery

    Today, we drop into more specificity about what the partner of a human recovering from complex trauma is likely going to have to dance with, steward, come to acceptance with, and support along the way. All humans have what we refer to as Protective Parts, but for survivors of complex trauma, a lot of the protective survival coding is woven into their DNA at every level. That’s what makes recovery so challenging. During this episode, we dive deep into how to respond to your partner’s different Protective Energies to best provide a container that facilitates and supports them on the path to healing. Our focus is on restoring dignity from the inside out in the context of our intimate partnerships, the closest relationship to our early attachment experiences. Join us today to hear more!

     

    Key Points From This Episode:

     

    • Context for CPTSD Medicine leading up to the timely message of this episode.

    • What a partner of a person recovering from CPTSD is likely going to have to be able to do.

    • The difference between the continuum of the effects of tricky to traumatizing family dynamics.

    • Reserving the perspective of, ‘If I were this human,’ and adopting ‘I can do this first,’.

    • Why the sacred union is such a powerful context in which to do CPTSD recovery work. 

    • Tanner’s process of gaining clarity on what was in front of her in her life. 

    • How working on our partnership directly affects our children. 

    • Acknowledging the challenge that our partners are not our parents. 

    • The true challenge of dating someone who is recovering from CPTSD.

    • What we really want to highlight for our partners.

    • Four main protective part energies and one central energy for childhood trauma survivors. 

    • What it might look like to lead with the vulnerability.

    • Differentiating between ‘I won’t’ and ‘I must’ energy.

    • The ‘I can’t’ protective instinct and what triggers it.

    • Restoring dignity from the inside out.

    • What triggers the ‘I will destroy’ energy.

    • How to respond to a partner in this energy to illustrate that you are willing to meet them there.

    • Your role in facilitating the unburdening work. 

    • Dropping into awareness of your protective instincts when they come online.

    • A very important explanation of the danger of weaponizing parts work. 

     

    Quotes:

     

    “It’s very hard to change behavior, especially if it was an adaptive strategy or something that you inherited or were socialized to believe is the way from your family of origin.” — Tanner Wallace [11:02]

     

    “Working on our partnership directly affects our children as well.” — Tanner Wallace [17:29]

     

    “You’re keeping the path clear for your partner to do the healing work, but you’re not doing the work for them. You’re simply keeping everything open and clear so that the work is easier to do.” — Tanner Wallace [42:44]

     

    “If you weaponize Parts Work, you are creating an unsafe experience for parts of each other to feel that they can trust to be vulnerable.” — Tanner Wallace [45:24]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

    The Calling Monthly Newsletter 

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast 

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

     

    26 January 2024, 10:28 pm
  • 27 minutes 48 seconds
    Guideposts Along the Way In Your Partnership During CPTSD Recovery

    In the long-term process of healing, it can be disorienting not knowing which benchmarks to strive for or the milestones you’re aiming to achieve. And in partnerships, it’s important to remember the ultimate goal; to completely recover from CPTSD and to have a comprehensive understanding of the relationship you have with your partner. So today, we’re taking a look at five guideposts to follow or milestones to strive for as you work through your CPTSD recovery while in a partnership. We discuss what it means to have full permission to express, how to contextualize conversations within your relationship, why you should never speak behind your partner’s back, and how to identify the negative roles that you assume in your relationship. We also discover how to find the root cause of moments of judgment and why you have to take radical responsibility for your own wounds. Thanks for listening. 

     

    Key Points From This Episode:

     

    • Today is about which guideposts to follow in your partnerships along your healing journey. 

    • Understanding the ultimate goal of CPTSD recovery in partnerships. 

    • What it means to have full permission to express. 

    • Why all conversations need to be held within the context of your relationship and together with your partner.

    • Identifying then addressing the negative roles you’re playing in the relationship.

    • Noticing when judgment comes, and isolating the root cause. 

    • The importance of taking radical responsibility for your own wounds. 

    • Your homework for today. 

     

    Quotes:

     

    “It’s one thing to listen to something, and it’s another thing to integrate the knowledge; embody it through your actions; and see how it lands and shapes what you do day to day.” — Tanner Wallace [02:21]

     

    “It takes so much courage to change, and change happens over time when we align with a particular identity that shapes our habits.” — Tanner Wallace [02:36]

     

    “If there is an urge to turn to somebody else to talk about your partner; complain about your partner; talk about the partnership, this is an immediate sign that you need to turn toward your partner and start sharing some of this with them.” — Tanner Wallace [13:38]

     

    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

     

    The Calling Monthly Newsletter 

    CPTSD Medicine on Instagram

    CPTSD Medicine on Facebook

    CPTSD Medicine Podcast 

    CPTSD Medicine on YouTube

     

    19 January 2024, 10:32 pm
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