This week, Brianne offers a substitute hot take, birds do not respond to polite requests, hitting record has detrimental consequences, we manifest sexy spreadsheets, the truth comes out about Melanie’s dad, we look for a fun place to meet our ends together in Tennessee, and soon the Sleepytime Bear will crawl from the earth screaming, just like a cicada.

Content warnings: drowning deaths and discussion during disaster relief about later term pregnancy loss and grief.

Content warnings: very extensive discussion of depression, bipolar disorder, and suicidal ideation that culminates in death by suicide. Discussion of the emotional state and inner reasoning leading to death by suicide, as well as its impact on family and friends, is the full content of the episode. This week is very difficult to listen to and we ask that you take extra care choosing whether to engage with this episode. If you need more specific content information to decide if this is safe for you, please reach out and we will help. We love you, ghouls, and you are so important to us.

In the US, you can reach a crisis line at 988. Here is a list of available numbers in other countries if you need someone to talk to.

Feces and brief but sad discussion of the mistreatment of animal performers are discussed.

Other resources:
Find a helpline
Free or low-cost mental health treatment
It Gets Better Project
LGBTQ+ mental health resources
List of Black mental health resources
Resources for finding a therapist
Trans Lifeline

This week, the Fried Bologna Sandwich man is safe from Brianne's attentions, Melanie gets mad about Gentle Ben, Brianne gets mad about the Charmin bears, and Mike makes Captain Schettino look good.

Disaster relief begins at 42:20.

Content warnings: very extensive discussion of depression, bipolar disorder, and suicidal ideation that culminates in death by suicide. Discussion of the emotional state and inner reasoning leading to death by suicide, as well as its impact on family and friends, is the full content of the episode. This week is very difficult to listen to and we ask that you take extra care choosing whether to engage with this episode. If you need more specific content information to decide if this is safe for you, please reach out and we will help. We love you, ghouls, and you are so important to us.

In the US, you can reach a crisis line at 988. Here is a list of available numbers in other countries if you need someone to talk to.

Other resources:
Find a helpline
Free or low-cost mental health treatment
It Gets Better Project
LGBTQ+ mental health resources
List of Black mental health resources
Resources for finding a therapist
Trans Lifeline

This week, we rate the eclipse, have a sandwich adventure, and do a whole episode about a Virgo from Ohio, but she’s cool.

This week, Brianne blames it on space, Melanie introduces the neighborhood kids to gambling, Brianne loses her nerve at the laundromat, Melanie is a classic 90s cigarette mom, what amounts to an old timey disaster drag show goes incredibly wrong, and Cody’s lack of chaos forced Melanie to start an in-house chaotic man factory.

Content warnings: discuss of adults’/teens’/adolescents’/children's deaths in a fire in moderate detail throughout.

This week, vegemite belongs toward the back end, Brianne has a grilled cheese plug, Melanie’s thirst is quenched, a plane has surgery, Brianne is rapidly aging, and we want the best for the makers of Cosmic Yoga.

Content warnings: plane crash, mass fatalities, final notes written to family, the presence of infants as fatalities is mentioned without detail, delayed rescue, mother and child in very near-death experiences, mention of suicide at 53:00.

This week, we are all personally responsible for the deer overpopulation problem, Melanie is finally desensitized to shafts, Brianne is a curious cat when it comes to water drills and industrial balloons, and Jessica is off the grid.

Content warnings: deer hunting, toddler in extreme peril who survives, mention of suicide at 41:30, mention of sexual assault and CSA materials at 42:50.

This week, Brianne brings you more Buckeye bullshit, Melanie is still vertical, we contemplate a bracket brought to you in partnership with Sandwich Daddy, Brianne’s cucumber terrorizes the world, the bracket ends with a controversial winner, you could put anything in a wiggler, Melanie is sending out a lumberjack fantasy kit, and the math ain’t mathin’ but that’s what happened.

Content warnings: gross discussion of dead rats and possum, fire, serious alcoholism and associated behaviors, knocked out tooth, death while detoxing from alcohol, crowd crushing/stampede deaths.
From 27:15-55:30: Vietnam atrocities, severe depression, abuse/neglect/violent killing of many animals, hoarding behavior, mutilation of body by animals, death by suicide, abusive marriage, prison, divorce.

This week, we hear from the man with the world’s largest collection of Titanic VHS tapes, Brianne cannot stop the wind, Melanie and Cody are both tax tops, the Kruse family presents a disaster charcuterie, we unpack the possibility that Australia is a hoax, we’re all personally responsible for thwarting ants, Melanie finds the silliest tornado ever, Brianne’s origin story gets leaked, your cult robes are in the mail, and Squonk ruins Brianne’s birthday.

Content warnings: plane incident, child in peril who survives, 28:15 tornado that kills a lot of sheep and ducks.

This week, Brianne plans for her next cohost, we finally identify Carmen Sandiego’s location, we begin an inquiry into Ohio’s lesbian farming, Brianne punches sideways, we get a crossover villain from the previous episode, Melanie is owed a chaotic man next week, Brianne will not be reading any car maintenance books, and Melanie is completely, totally, infallibly correct.

Content warnings: fire and crushing involving hundreds of children, upsetting story about a child dying attempting to rescue a sibling from 17:10-19:20, displacement following disaster, spread of infectious disease, flooding, drowning, racism.

This week, Marley enters her piranha era, Brianne must continually reckon with Froot Loops, we discover that there are two kinds of people, Melanie has a certain amount of knowledge about grave robbing, and we have a guest speaker for disaster relief.

Content warnings: deaths of children 13:30-14:30, flooding deaths, deaths of horses, brief mention of vomit, discussion of a movie’s depiction of sexual assault in disaster relief.

This week, we give lumberjacks a break from the female gaze, Melanie finally admits that she’s the bottom, Brianne is actually the river planner for the city, we try to appease Ohio, it really is all about that bass, and a “peculiar whistle” saves lives.

Content warnings: flooding deaths, very brief mention of deaths of mother and children.