It Starts With Attraction
Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement & Relationships
Revealing secrets on how to become the most attractive you can be Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally and Spiritually (or as us insiders call it...the PIES). Listen to weekly episodes. Join a course or get more info at www.piesuniversity.com.
- 56 minutes 1 secondThe Biggest Mistake You Make When Friends Ask for Advice with Meredith Ball
Ever feel like you've become the unofficial therapist in your friend group? You're not alone, and I've been there too. Most of us make one critical mistake when someone comes to us with a problem: we try to fix it.
In this episode, I sit down with licensed professional counselor Meredith Ball (LPC) to talk about how to actually support the people in your life without overstepping, shutting them down, or burning yourself out. Meredith helped me see some things about my own listening habits that I honestly needed to hear, especially how growing up in a conservative church environment shaped the way I respond when people come to me with their struggles.
In this episode, we cover:
How to listen without jumping into fix-it mode, what to do when a friend is clearly making a bad decision, when and how to have a moral confrontation with someone you love, the one thing that keeps most of us from truly hearing another person, how to support a friend who's thinking about leaving their marriage, why "do whatever makes you happy" might be the worst advice you can give, what "doing the work" actually means, and the truth about whether AI and ChatGPT can replace real human connection.
Meredith Ball is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Marriage Helper Certified Coach who specializes in helping individuals and couples navigate difficult relational dynamics.
📖 Book mentioned: The Lost Art of Listening by Michael Nichols and Martha Straus
Here's what I took away from this conversation: everything is endurable, learning to set your emotions to the side so you can stay present with someone is a game changer, and how you show up for the people in your life starts with the work you're doing on yourself.
If this episode helped you, share it with a friend who needs to hear it.I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
24 March 2026, 5:00 am - 52 minutes 32 secondsFor Anyone Who's Ever Struggled With Their Body... Listen To This
This conversation is one I've been so excited to share with y'all.
I sat down with my friend Emily Allen, and she boldly shared her story of struggling with an eating disorder that started all the way back in middle school. What began as trying to manage health issues turned into years of mental bondage around food, body image, and an identity that was built on appearance. Emily is honest about all of it, and I think so many of us can relate more than we realize.
But here's what I love most. Emily shares the powerful moment she prayed with her sisters and experienced complete freedom. And the joy she walks in today? You can see it the second she walks into a room.
We also talk about raising daughters with a healthy view of their bodies, the danger of comparison and social media, and what it really looks like to find your identity beyond the way you look.
If you've ever struggled with body image, food anxiety, or feeling like you're just not enough, this one is for you.
Follow Emily:
@belovedthriftedbundles on Instagram
@thriftedsisterco on InstagramI'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
17 March 2026, 5:00 am - 49 minutes 24 secondsHow To Stop Living Everyone Else's Vision For Your Life with Micheal Felker
You know that thing you keep saying you're going to do? The conversation you keep avoiding. The vision you have for your life that you keep putting on hold because everyone else needs something from you first.
You might think it's balance... but it's not. It's fear.
In this episode, I sit down with Micheal Felker and we get into what actually keeps people stuck, and it's not what most people think. We talk about the difference between acute and chronic anxiety, why anxiety is contagious (and I tell a story from Kenya that proves it), and what self-differentiation really means when you're trying to lead your life without losing yourself to everyone else's expectations.
Micheal shares a story about a man on a bridge that will change how you think about the responsibility you're carrying for other people's lives. And we get honest about what it looks like when you care too much about what people think of you, and what it costs you.
If you've ever felt like you're doing more work for someone else's life than they are, this one's for you.
In this episode we cover: → How to identify what's really keeping you stuck → The difference between acute and chronic anxiety → Why anxiety spreads and how to stop carrying everyone else's → What self-differentiation is and why it matters for leaders, parents, and anyone trying to move forward → The "bridge" story that will make you rethink who you're holding on to → How to have the nerve to choose your own vision without disconnecting from the people you love
Today's Guest: Micheal Felker
Micheal Felker is passionate about helping people experience hope and transformation in the areas that matter most - faith, leadership, and marriage. He serves as a pastoral coach through his ministry Kicking at the Darkness and works with Marriage Helper, supporting individuals and couples who want to rebuild and strengthen their marriages. Micheal loves helping leaders find hope, grow in resilience, and lead with courage in every area of their lives.
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
10 March 2026, 5:00 am - 59 minutes 50 secondsHow To Give And Receive Feedback with Dr. J.R. Briggs
Today we are tackling something that we all have to deal with, but very few of us actually know how to do well: feedback.
In this episode, I am honored to be joined by leadership coach, speaker, and author Dr. J.R. Briggs. We are diving deep into the art of giving and receiving feedback, figuring out which of the two is actually more important (spoiler alert: it’s receiving!), and uncovering why feedback often feels so personal and scary.
J.R. shares an incredible story about trapeze school that perfectly illustrates why we need outside perspectives, and we talk about the practical things you can start doing today to completely change how you handle criticism and praise. We discuss how creating healthy feedback loops is the ultimate key to emotional intelligence and growth.
I walked away from this conversation with three specific things I am immediately applying to my day-to-day life, and I know you will too.
Take the free PIES assessment to see your inputs, outputs, and where your biggest area for growth is: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com/pies-assessment
In this episode, we cover:
Why receiving feedback is a more vital skill than giving it
The trapeze analogy: why we desperately need outside perspectives
Practical steps for receiving tough feedback without getting defensive (and the only two words you really need to say)
Why you must ask for permission before giving someone else feedback
How to calm your "reptilian brain" when you feel angry or triggered
The danger of overdrawing your "trust bank account" in relationships
Two powerful, vulnerable questions you can ask your trusted circle right now to uncover your blind spots
This is The Way You Show Up — a podcast and YouTube series all about the science of attraction and influence, and how focusing on these four pillars changes the way you show up at work, at home, in your marriage, in your parenting, and beyond.
New episodes every week. Subscribe so you don't miss one!
📖 J.R.'s Latest Book: https://bit.ly/4l2cJjIDr. J.R. Briggs lives with a clear and focused calling: to grow fruit on other people’s trees.
His work seeks to bridge the gap between spiritual formation and actionable leadership practices, aiming to help faith leaders and their organizations grow both in their faith and their impact on their communities.
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
3 March 2026, 6:00 am - 39 minutes 35 secondsThe 4 Part Method That Changes The Way You Show Up
I'm back, y'all and SO much has happened since the last time we talked. In this episode, I'm sharing the updated science of attraction and influence and breaking down the PIES method: the four pillars that change the way you show up in every area of your life.
PIES stands for Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual, and each pillar has four specific inputs that you can control. These aren't about looking a certain way or performing for other people. They're about building the kind of embodied confidence that people notice when you walk into a room.
In this episode, I'm diving into all 16 inputs across the four pillars, busting some myths from the self-help world that keep people stuck, and sharing the personal experiences (including finishing my PhD!) that sparked a renewed vision for this work.
Oh, and I'm officially Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes now. 🎓
🔗 Take the free PIES assessment to see your inputs, outputs, and where your biggest area for growth is: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com/pies-assessment
In this episode, I cover:
The PIES method explained
The 4 inputs for Physical attraction & influence
The 4 inputs for Intellectual attraction & influence
The 4 inputs for Emotional attraction & influence
The 4 inputs for Spiritual attraction & influence
How to see where you're at risk for burnout
The free PIES assessment
This is the first episode of The Way You Show Up — a podcast and YouTube series all about the science of attraction and influence, and how focusing on these four pillars changes the way you show up at work, at home, in your marriage, in your parenting, and beyond.
New episodes every week. Subscribe so you don't miss one!I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
24 February 2026, 2:00 pm - 6 minutes 34 secondsWhat I've Been Working On...
A year ago, I stopped.
I stopped doing one of the things I loved the most.
I stopped because I was overwhelmed.
I stopped because I was chronically burnt out.
I stopped because I started doubting my purpose.
It felt like a wise and mature decision at the time.
Maybe it was
But what I slowly began to realize was that I stopped doing the thing that, when it came to my work, was one of the most life-giving.
Now, it's back.
But better.
For ten years, I’ve loved talking about the PIES because it changed my life.
I was depressed. Stuck. Anxious. Overworked.
My marriage was in shambles.
I had no friends.
I felt lost.
The PIES method allowed me to focus on becoming my best physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually and focusing on what I could control.
Me.
And it changed my focus. It changed my energy. It changed me.
And over the past year, as I've finished my PhD (freaking finally!) I've realized that the PIES is even more powerful than I originally thought.
We're going to be talking about confidence, clarity, influence, and how what you do impacts the way you show up to those around you...
...and we're going to be doing it together with a new podcast, new title, and new content.
Same PIES.
Revamped.
Reimagined.
Redefined.
Can't wait to go along this journey with you.
Stay strong,
Dr. KimberlyI'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
17 February 2026, 2:00 pm - 52 minutes 7 secondsThe Truth About Trauma
Meredith Ball, a licensed professional counselor dedicated to healing trauma, joins us to unravel the intricate web of trauma's impact on our lives. In this episode, Meredith opens up about her own journey and sheds light on how trauma affects the brain, the underestimated power of neuroplasticity, and the generational gaps in acknowledging these wounds.
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
18 February 2025, 6:00 am - 41 minutes 17 secondsUnlocking Learning Strategies and Decision-Making
Want to unlock your potential? Discover how to study smarter and retain more information with expert insights from Dr. Dan Willingham! Tune in now and transform your learning experience!
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
11 February 2025, 6:00 am - 47 minutes 52 secondsUnderstanding The Difference Between Male And Female Emotions
Is there actually a difference in the way men and women process emotions? Find out on today’s episode!
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
4 February 2025, 1:00 am - 33 minutes 50 seconds10 Things You Can Do To Feel More Attractive
Feeling unattractive? You're not alone! Discover 10 uplifting strategies to reclaim your self-worth and feel fabulous again! Tune in to our latest episode and transform your outlook! What's your go-to feel-good strategy?
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
28 January 2025, 3:00 am - 53 minutes 17 secondsThe 5 Step Method To Improving Your Communication
Discover the 5 step method we use to improve communication. Not only does this help with communication between us as spouses, but it can also be used in conversations with friends, family, coworkers, and everyone in between!
Let’s dive in to this week’s episode!
Links to SMART Communication Episode:
Episode 1
Episode 2I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
21 January 2025, 6:00 am - More Episodes? Get the App