🎧 Listen to this episode if…

• You're selling the family home during divorce or de facto separation

• A real estate agent has told you to renovate or stage before selling

• Your ex wants to delay settlement until renovations are finished

• You're stuck with a half-renovated or unfinished house

• You've already spent money on renovations and want to know if it "counts"

• Your ex is demanding reimbursement for renovations

• Parents or in-laws contributed money to renovations

• You're deciding whether to keep the house, sell it, or buy your ex out

• Renovations feel emotionally or financially overwhelming right now

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation.

📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below.

📝 Episode Summary

Should you renovate or stage the house when you're going through divorce or is it a costly mistake that keeps you stuck longer than you need to be?

In this episode, Mum and I break down renovations, staging, and selling the family home during separation, and what actually matters in property settlements. We talk honestly about when spending money might make sense, when it won't, and how renovations are often used intentionally or not as a delay tactic or control mechanism.

We cover staging versus maintenance, half-finished renovations, DIY disasters, family contributions, damage to property, and how the court really views all of it. Most importantly, we talk about how to decide whether renovations are worth the financial and emotional cost, and how to avoid getting trapped in a house or a settlement that never seems to move forward.

📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below.

⏱️ Episode Timeline

00:00 Should You Renovate Before Selling During Divorce?

00:40 Renovations During Divorce: Common Questions Answered

01:09 Legal and Financial Rules Around Renovations

02:03 Staging vs Renovations: What Actually Adds Value?

05:52 Renovation Traps: Delays, Control and Emotional Attachment

08:41 Half-Finished Renovations and Unsellable Homes

13:32 Renovations as Non-Financial Contributions Explained

16:49 Family Loans, Gifts and Renovation Contributions

23:14 Property Damage, Wastage and How Courts Value Homes

23:47 Keep, Sell or Buy Out the Family Home?

24:51 Renovation Reimbursements: Do You Have to Pay Them Back?

26:34 Renovating During Separation: What to Do and What to Avoid

28:51 How Family Law Courts Determine Property Value

30:02 Renovations and Consent Orders: What Courts Will and Won't Enforce

35:22 Property Valuations in Divorce: What Courts Accept

40:04 Final Thoughts: Avoiding Renovation Mistakes in Divorce

🔗 Links & Resources

Support Services (Australia)

• 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

• Lifeline – 13 11 14

Related Episodes

• Selling Your House During Divorce

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6YUc34CVu6aCmunjQT1Sp6?si=Aks8s1YMTguzG-wyYO33Xw

• Property Settlement Explained

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5WcJwbOkw7UcCdla48EpXj?si=JRrkI8pZRdu6EUn0h8gncw

• Financial Abuse After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wxVtk6TOSCgqCJikfk6LD?si=Uxr0alr8TeKwX-WvzKx6Cg

🚨 Support Services (Australia)

• 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

• Lifeline – 13 11 14

📌 Legal Disclaimer

This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation.

🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review!

If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who might be stuck in a renovation trap right now.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

• You're separating or divorcing someone with narcissistic traits

• Your ex keeps changing tactics and you feel like you're always one step behind

• You've experienced love-bombing, guilt, threats, or emotional manipulation

• Your ex is running smear campaigns or trying to control the narrative

• Money, disclosure, or property settlement keeps getting delayed

• Your children are being pulled into adult conflict

• Your ex is using the legal system as a weapon

• You feel like the abuse didn't end after separation

• You want to know what's coming next before it happens

📌 Legal Disclaimer

This episode is for education only and not legal or psychological advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances.

📝 Episode Summary

Divorcing a narcissist isn't just difficult it's predictable. In this episode, Mum and I walk you through the seven phases most people experience when separating from someone with narcissistic traits, based on what we see every single day in real cases.

We talk about how tactics have evolved, why the mask eventually drops, and how emotional manipulation turns into smear campaigns, financial control, legal abuse, and ongoing chaos even after court ends.

We're not diagnosing anyone, and this isn't about labelling. It's about pattern recognition. Once you understand the phases, you can stop blaming yourself, protect your boundaries, and make informed decisions instead of reacting in survival mode.

📌 This episode contains discussions around family violence. Support numbers are listed below.

⏱️ Episode Timeline

00:00 Divorcing a Narcissist – What to Expect & Why It's Different

01:50 Narcissistic Traits in Divorce and Separation

02:34 Phase One: Love Bombing, Guilt Tripping & Emotional Manipulation

03:50 How Narcissists Use Legal Delays and Manipulation

07:51 Phase Two: Control Tactics, Hoovering & Threats

11:57 Setting Boundaries When Divorcing a Narcissist

14:22 Phase Three: Smear Campaigns & Image Management Tactics

16:16 How to Protect Yourself Before Things Escalate

18:23 The Financial Motives Behind 50/50 Parenting Claims

18:36 Unethical Family Court Reports & Image Control

19:54 Social Media Smear Campaigns and Reputation Control

22:18 Financial Abuse Through Control and Delay Tactics

26:18 Using Children as Pawns in High-Conflict Divorce

28:47 Manipulating the Legal System After Separation

30:48 Post-Separation Abuse: Chaos and Control After Court

32:42 Final Support, Safety Planning & What to Do Next

🔗 Links & Resources

Support Services (Australia)

• 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14

• Episodes Mentioned

• The Narcissist Playbook

• 10 Boundaries You Must Set in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=0tfzIRFrTuWSfrywenG4lA

• What About Their Belongings? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bPd3wWLQh3pzQmL2KCR0v?si=ABBaDvMVRgqnkvfXHJh66A

• Protecting Your Role as Primary Carer https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oZAEkj18NEcUfJPXP0FOT?si=PR8-zKyXRru7oVeW2Allew

• Legal & Financial Abuse After Separation

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=ZkP-KquxREeTCyQPk8I-TA What If Your Ex Lies in Court?

• https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=sQjxVlNSTm2wnaHQdWxdlA

• Safety Planning After Separation

• https://open.spotify.com/episode/5hMmTS99LaeUWOXSxKMx1D?si=Y98mBgDoTiK1LQud-tr9BQ

• DARVO in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JyfH5fCoqrUoxeDj6jCtu?si=mDoKfN3fQWONekpLUQflXg

• False allegations of Parental Alienation https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=5z2-pibvRKavyrPkMeuMIw

Resources

• "Before You Go" Checklist – thedivorcecourse.com.au

🚨 Support Services (Australia)

• 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

• Lifeline – 13 11 14

• RSPCA Safe Beds for Pets (state dependent)

📌 Legal Disclaimer

This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances.

🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review!

If this episode helped you, please share it — you never know who else needs to hear this before they get blindsided.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

• You're unsure whether your relationship legally counts as de facto

• Your ex is denying the relationship, the dates, or the level of commitment

• You want to know how de facto status impacts property settlement

• You've heard about the 2-year rule and want to know if it applies to you

• You're wondering if having kids changes your legal rights

• You're not married, but financially tangled, and don't know where you stand

• You're trying to prove you were (or weren't) de facto

• You were "separated under one roof" and need clarity

• You're with someone who's still married but claim they're de facto with you

Episode Summary

What exactly does it mean to be de facto in Australia? And why does it matter so much when you separate? In this episode, Mum and I unpack de facto relationships in family law in Australia what counts, what doesn't, and what the court actually looks at when deciding whether a de facto relationship existed.

We break down the difference between being married and being de facto, the rules around the two-year relationship requirement, how children change everything, and what happens with short vs long relationships.

We also talk through what happens when one person denies the relationship ever existed, how to prove your timeline, and the evidence the court takes most seriously from finances to living arrangements to social media and everything in between.

If you've ever thought "Are we de facto? Does this count? What does this mean for my rights?" this episode will give you clarity, confidence and the facts that might help you in your situation.

📌 This is general information only. Always seek your own legal support for your exact situation.

⏱️ Episode Timeline

00:00 – What Is a De Facto Relationship in Australia? A clear explanation of the legal meaning of "de facto" and why it matters.

00:28 – Understanding the Term 'De Facto' Under the Family Law Act Breaking down the true definition and what "genuine domestic relationship" actually means.

01:16 – Why De Facto Status Matters for Property and Parenting How your relationship status affects your rights in separation.

01:47 – How to Prove You're in a De Facto Relationship Evidence, timelines, documents and what the courts look for.

03:50 – Common Myths About De Facto Relationships (Debunked) Misunderstandings about living together, bank accounts, and "we're not married so it doesn't count."

06:46 – Short vs Long De Facto Relationships: What's the Difference? How the length of the relationship can influence property outcomes.

17:45 – How Having Children Impacts De Facto Separation Why children change eligibility, contributions, and financial outcomes.

19:16 – Contributions in De Facto Relationships Explained Financial, non-financial, homemaking and parenting contributions — what the court considers.

19:49 – Proving a De Facto Relationship: Evidence That Helps Photos, messages, leases, documents and everyday interactions that build your case.

21:44 – What Evidence Can Be Used to Show a De Facto Relationship? From moving-day photos to shared responsibilities — what actually matters.

24:11 – Mediation Options When Your Ex Denies the Relationship How mediation and disclosure work when one person disputes being de facto.

26:55 – Can You Be Married and De Facto at the Same Time? How overlap occurs with affairs, breakups under one roof and blurred timelines.

33:31 – Clarifying the Rules Between Marriage vs De Facto How the law treats both pathways similarly for financial and parenting matters.

34:39 – Final Thoughts: Understanding Your Status and Next Steps Key takeaways on proving de facto status and protecting your future.

🔗 Links & Resources

"Before You Go" Checklist –

thedivorcecourse.com.au

Episodes Mentioned

Separated Under one Roof Episode

https://youtu.be/er5qlClqOGs?si=o6f2apVsjWNHE_ID

Beyond the Split Understanding Separation Dates

https://youtu.be/HDL4mhO94TY?si=1aUlslHr4xGqL_dN

Future Needs

https://youtu.be/_-5JlRLCNxY?si=YQKBsqG2cCAEVNqs

Cheating and Dating during Divorce

https://youtu.be/kBOV2sRtq7E?si=SlAgBVMkwf-LoaMU

🚨 Support Services (Australia)

• 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

• Lifeline – 13 11 14

📌 Legal Disclaimer:

This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support based on your circumstances.

🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review!

If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who else needs this clarity.

Listen to this episode if…

• You're thinking about dating before your divorce, property or children's matters are final

• Your ex has a new partner and you're worried about parenting or property issues

• You're unsure how the court sees new relationships in family law matters

• You want to know what's okay, what's risky, and what doesn't matter at all

Wondering if it's okay to date while your divorce is still in progress? You're not alone. In this episode, we unpack the legal, emotional, and strategic impacts of dating during divorce especially when children, property settlements, or court appearances are involved.

Whether you've just met someone new, or your ex is already flaunting their next relationship, we break down how new partners can influence family law outcomes in both parenting and property matters.

We cover the risks, realities, and misconceptions about what the court actually looks at and how to protect your position without putting your future on hold.

📌 Please remember this episode is for general information only and does not replace individual legal or safety advice. For immediate support in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.

🔑 Episode Timeline:

[00:00] Introduction: How New Relationships Can Impact Your Divorce Case

[01:13] Important Legal Disclaimer and Emotional Trigger Warnings

[02:02] Can a New Partner Affect Your Property Settlement in Divorce?

[09:35] Understanding No-Fault Divorce and How History Shaped Today's Rules

[15:11] Spousal Maintenance: Does Repartnering Change Eligibility?

[19:50] Child Support Implications When a New Partner Has Money

[22:11] Parenting Orders and Custody: What Role Do New Partners Play?

[25:25] How the Court Prioritizes Children's Welfare Over Relationship Status

[26:03] When (and How) to Introduce Your Kids to a New Partner

[28:13] Coercive Control, Repartnering, and Family Court Considerations

[30:05] What Are New Partners Responsible for in a Family Law Context?

[31:46] Red Flags: What Family Court Looks for in New Relationships

[33:34] Raising Concerns About New Partners Without Going to Court

[39:43] How to Document and Present Concerns the Right Way

[42:51] Does the Court Judge You for Repartnering During Divorce?

[45:16] Final Takeaways: Moving Forward with Caution and Clarity

🔗 Links & Resources:

1800RESPECT – 24/7 Support Service

Daisy App – Connect to Local Services

Technology and Safety Guide

Before you go Checklist - https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/opt-in

Example Safety plans template - https://yourtoolkit.com/resource/safety-plan-template/

Family Court Safety Plan information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/pubs/fl/fvbpp#intro

The Purple Book https://domesticviolence.com.au/resources/the-purple-book/

Episode Links

Separated under one roof do's and don'ts

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ

Stuck under one roof what are your options

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg

Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw

🚨 Support Services:

Safe Beds RSPCA - check your state for details https://www.rspcaqld.org.au/what-we-do/save-animals/Pets%20in%20Crisis%20Program

1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode.

📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning:

This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control.

Listen to this episode if…

• You're in a relationship or home where you feel unsafe
• You've left but still don't feel secure
• You're not ready to leave yet but want to prepare
• You're supporting someone who may be experiencing abuse
• You want to understand how to help a friend or loved one stay safe
• You have a court or mediation event you need to attend with an unsafe ex

📌 Please remember this episode is for general information only and does not replace individual legal or safety advice. For immediate support in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.

When things feel uncertain or even unsafe it's not being paranoid to think ahead. It's being prepared.

In this important episode, we break down what a safety plan actually is, why it matters, and how to build one tailored to your situation. Whether you're living with abuse, planning to leave, or simply want to feel more secure going through the Family Court, we talk through the key steps and considerations from protecting your children to securing your documents and digital life.

You'll learn how safety planning can be a quiet, empowering way to take back control and set up the support you need. I also share resources, tools, and who to call if you want help doing it safely and confidentially.

🔑 Episode Timeline: From Fear to Freedom: Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One

Safety Plans — What They Are & How to Make One

00:00 – Introduction: What is a Safety Plan and Why It Matters Overview of safety planning and who needs one.

02:06 – Why You Might Need a Safety Plan for Domestic Violence Signs, risks, and when it's time to prepare.

03:41 – Recognising Coercive Control and Hidden Danger Signals How emotional and behavioural control can put you at risk.

07:55 – Step‑by‑Step Guide to Creating Your Safety Plan Essential steps to start planning your safety today.

09:04 – Safety at Home: Preparing for a Potential Escape Practical tips for making your environment safer.

16:33 – Safety Technology: Real‑Time Tracking and Digital Risk Understanding digital abuse and how it affects your plan.

16:57 – Important Documents You Should Have Ready Checklist of documents to keep handy for safety or sudden departure.

17:33 – Leaving Without Explanation: When It's Necessary How to plan a quiet departure without alerting an abuser.

18:10 – The Power of Code Words and Communication Safety Using discreet signals to reach out for help.

19:20 – Planning Your Escape Route: Fast and Safe Exits How to map out the quickest way out when it's unsafe to stay.

20:11 – Handling Vehicle Safety and Transport During Escape Car strategies and avoiding being blocked in.

23:29 – Keeping Your Pets Safe During an Escape Plan Options and programs that support pets in family violence situations.

24:22 – Work, Online and Tech Safety Measures Protecting your devices, social media, and work life from monitoring or abuse.

27:00 – Staying Safe After Leaving a Violent Situation Changes to routines, communication, and personal security.

27:56 – Legal Steps to Support Your Safety Plan Protection orders, police involvement, and legal safety mechanisms.

30:58 – Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone — Support Is Available Encouragement and next steps with reminder resources.

🔗 Links & Resources:

1800RESPECT – 24/7 Support Service

Daisy App – Connect to Local Services

Technology and Safety Guide

Before you go Checklist - https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/opt-in

Example Safety plans template - https://yourtoolkit.com/resource/safety-plan-template/

Family Court Safety Plan information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/pubs/fl/fvbpp#intro

The Purple Book https://domesticviolence.com.au/resources/the-purple-book/

Episode Links

Who gets the Car in the long and short term https://open.spotify.com/episode/7CmoF5nrBhVfDlJgVyXlGp?si=uXtMvH1dRoG74CSd-7pD9w

Separated under one roof do's and don'ts

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ

Stuck under one roof what are your options

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg

Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw

🚨 Support Services:

Safe Beds RSPCA - check your state for details https://www.rspcaqld.org.au/what-we-do/save-animals/Pets%20in%20Crisis%20Program

1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)

📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning:

This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control.

💡 Listen to this episode if...

• You're navigating Christmas while going through separation or divorce

• You're co-parenting and worried about holiday arrangements or conflict

• You feel pressure from family and don't know how to handle it

• You're confused about what to expect from lawyers or the courts over the break

• You're worried about an emotional or legal crisis over the holidays

⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning:

This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control.

Holidays can bring joy, but during separation or divorce, it can also bring stress, confusion, and conflict. If you're dreading the tough conversations this holiday season, you're not alone and this episode is here to help.

Mum and I walk through how to manage communication with all the key players during the festive period: your co-parent, your lawyer, your kids, extended family, and even the courts or police. Whether you're trying to set healthy boundaries, stuck living under one roof, or bracing for something to blow up we've got practical strategies to get you through it.

⏱️ Episode Timeline:

00:00 – Introduction: Navigating the Holidays During Divorce

01:52 – Communication Challenges for Divorcing Couples During the Holidays

03:10 – Should You Talk to Your Divorce Lawyer Over the Holiday Break?

06:00 – Co-Parenting Holiday Conflicts & Practical Solutions

13:19 – Managing Property Settlements During the Holiday Season

18:33 – Living Together While Separated: How to Handle the Holidays

22:55 – How to Communicate Holiday Plans with Your Kids During Divorce

26:44 – When to Reach Out to the Court During Holiday Disputes

26:57 – Understanding Court Closures & Delays Over the Holidays

28:06 – Urgent Divorce Matters: Emergency Contacts & What to Do

28:41 – How to Document Incidents for Court During the Holidays

29:16 – Handling Non-Emergency Divorce or Co-Parenting Issues

33:26 – When to Contact the Police During Divorce or Custody Conflicts

37:46 – Setting Boundaries with Family During a Holiday Divorce

39:16 – Creating Emergency Plans & Safety Measures

44:47 – Mental Health Tips for Coping with Divorce During the Holidays

47:04 – Engaging with Your Community for Support

48:07 – Final Thoughts & Holiday Farewell

Resources

Central Practice Directions

https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

Free Disclosure Checklist

https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

Episode Links

From no no no to Ho Ho ho in your divorce

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3K7q02MlJr1VRteK7uJyTe?si=C1dm9sHMTV2NUuagpYllWw

Christmas & CoParenting

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3fcY2B7N0lDo8U1WAqozVz?si=i_RzkSgMSPSbMT4ZeZqDVA

Separated for the Holidays How to deal with it emotionally

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zzVKOc0LJY3uZhnLXfiJC?si=LT0sg7wMT3OACnFHOER8AA

CoParenting without Court Orders

https://open.spotify.com/episode/05BC7rliGHpKcQ58JJzZej?si=iKR82uY6S2G-SF_XHeltQA

Handover Hell

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=v8ILJ4p3Qi6dycn4WhEv4g

Separated under one roof do's and don'ts

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ

Stuck under one roof what are your options

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg

Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw

🚨 Support Services:

1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode.

📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

💡 Listen to this episode if...

• You're preparing for mediation or trying to negotiate privately

• What to learn the potential do's and don'ts of negotiations in divorce

• You feel like your ex is "sitting pretty" and not engaging

• You want to know the difference between reasonable and risky offers

• You've made concessions early on and don't know how to recover

• You want to avoid court, but still get a fair deal

• You are in court and want it over

⚠️ Legal Disclaimer:

This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation.

⏱️ Episode Timeline: Smart Divorce Negotiation Strategies That Actually Work

00:00 – Introduction to Divorce Negotiation Strategies Why negotiation matters and how to approach it with confidence.

00:33 – Meet the Hosts + Legal Disclaimer Who we are and a reminder this episode is for educational purposes only.

01:15 – Understanding the 3 Stages of Divorce Negotiation How strategy shifts between early separation, mediation, and court prep.

03:40 – Early Stage Negotiation Tips: Don't Rush, Repackage Your Offer Using smart presentations to make your offer sound more appealing.

07:54 – Mediation Tactics: Window Dressing and Framing Percentages How to reshape your proposal to match your ex's language and values.

20:04 – Mid-Stage Negotiation: When to Turn Up the Heat Signs it's time to get firmer and more structured in your approach.

22:05 – Using Real Court Cases to Support Your Offer Legal precedents and examples that make your proposal more persuasive.

26:09 – Common Myths and Mistakes in Divorce Negotiation Misunderstandings around legal advice and negotiation timelines.

27:29 – The Risk of Delaying Legal Action Too Long What happens when you wait too long to formalize your agreement?

28:01 – Understanding Pre-Action Procedure Letters and Legal Guidelines What they are, why they matter, and how they shape negotiation.

28:58 – Using Legal Costs as a Leverage Tool How to show what delays or refusals could cost in real terms.

29:23 – Should You Mention Court in Negotiation? When and Why Using the "threat of court" wisely to re-engage a stalled process.

33:02 – Smart Strategies for Writing Pre-Action Letters How to set the tone and expectations before heading to court.

34:53 – Court Door Negotiation Tactics: Calderbank Offers and Timing Last-minute strategies that could settle your case without trial.

38:53 – Do's and Don'ts of Divorce Negotiation The best and worst moves people make—and how to avoid mistakes.

51:21 – Final Thoughts: Confidence, Control, and Long-Term Focus Why the goal is clarity, closure, and fairness—not "winning."

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode

Resources

Central Practice Directions

https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

Free Disclosure Checklist

https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

FCFCOA Judgements - Cases

https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/judgments

Episode Links

Pitfalls of percentages in Negotiations Early On

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe?si=RWmY0i9eTuyWdUNQIuKNQg

https://youtu.be/o1n16TyarUo?si=hdxY73U3ZZ4gJ3Uj

Boundaries in Divorce

https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=KyJGKYneiBek41fe

Costs and Calderbank Offers

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2B2Se7hTIBAOg5f5YJ5wqE?si=EUOrEmeAQCWr6BOFt3RtuQ

https://youtu.be/0OKhDB8s3As?si=Vub2ujv1mapniv8L

Divorce Dynamic, balancing power with progress

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5I3WfPNkXncss2EI5jJwD1?si=YsTIkKDXTiqFIyDN7Qwn-g

From no no no to Ho Ho ho in your divorce

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3K7q02MlJr1VRteK7uJyTe?si=C1dm9sHMTV2NUuagpYllWw

🚨 Support Services:

• 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

Listen to this episode if…

• You're feeling emotionally overloaded

• Everyone around you has an opinion and it's stressing you out

• You're being pushed to make decisions faster than you're ready for

• You're not sure what's a legal deadline vs. emotional urgency

• You're feeling pressure from all sides to get things sorted

• You are overwhelmed

📌 Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode.

Are you feeling completely overwhelmed by your separation or divorce? Like everything is urgent, everyone needs something from you

You are not alone and this episode is here to help.

In this conversation, Mum and I walk through 8 practical ways to calm the chaos, slow things down, and take back control of your divorce journey. We cover emotional overwhelm, confusing legal pressure, and the early survival strategies that can make all the difference.

Whether you're still in shock or already knee-deep in logistics, this episode is your gentle reminder that you don't have to do it all at once and you shouldn't.

⏱️ Episode Timeline: Divorce Overwhelm – 8 Ways to Stay Sane When Everything Feels Urgent

00:00 – Introduction: Overcoming Divorce Overwhelm Why everything feels urgent—and how this episode can help you breathe again.

00:21 – Feeling Pressured to Make Fast Decisions During Divorce How panic can lead to poor choices and what to do instead.

00:28 – 8 Practical Strategies to Regain Control in Separation Overview of what you'll learn and how to use these tips right away.

00:51 – Welcome and What This Episode Covers Who this episode is for and why this conversation matters.

01:08 – The Stress of Divorce Deadlines and Decision Fatigue How urgency from lawyers, family, or your ex can overwhelm you.

03:17 – Legal vs. Emotional Deadlines: Know the Difference Understanding what's truly urgent and what can wait.

06:50 – The Emotional Shock of a Breakup Why you're not functioning "normally" and that's okay.

13:48 – Setting Boundaries with Family and Friends During Divorce How to protect your peace from well-meaning (but draining) input.

19:48 – Prioritizing Safety, Shelter, and Stability First Triage your needs: food, housing, money, transport before anything else.

23:34 – Recognizing and Responding to Financial Abuse What financial control looks like—and how to get support.

24:09 – Why Self-Care Is Essential, Not Optional Simple ways to take care of yourself when everything feels like too much.

28:10 – Making Space for Grief and Emotional Recovery Letting yourself feel, cry, and heal without guilt.

30:41 – How Learning the Process Can Help You Feel Empowered Education as a tool to reduce panic and increase confidence.

34:32 – Creating a New Divorce Routine That Works for You Using structure and small steps to take back control of your life.

39:29 – Final Thoughts: You've Got This, One Step at a Time Encouragement, next steps, and reminding you—you're not alone.

Resources

Central Practice Directions

https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

Free Disclosure Checklist

https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

Episode Links

Boundaries in Divorce

https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=KyJGKYneiBek41fe

🚨 Support Services:

• 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

Listen to this episode if…

• You're in the middle of a separation and unsure what advice to follow

• Friends, family, or Facebook have told you "what to do"

• You've heard you can't leave the house without losing everything

• You feel pressured not to bring up domestic violence

• You're confused about disclosure, super splitting, or property rights

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING Discussions of Family Violence

Have you been told that if you leave the house, you lose everything? Or that you shouldn't mention domestic violence in family court? These are just a few examples of the harmful myths in Australia we hear all too often in separation and divorce.

In this episode, Laura & Lyn expose some of the worst legal advice circulating in family law and explain why it can derail your case, delay your outcome, or damage your safety and rights.

They break down five of the most common (and dangerous) misconceptions, share what the law really says, and help you feel more confident about asking the right questions of your lawyer and making informed decisions.

⏱️ Episode Timeline: Episode 221 Family Law Myths Don't Fall for These 5 During Separation

00:00 – Introduction: Debunking Common Family Law Myths Why bad legal advice is everywhere—and how it can derail your case.

01:42 – The Real Impact of Misinformation in Separation and Divorce What happens when you follow outdated or incorrect legal advice.

05:37 – Myth #1: "If You Leave the House, You Lose Your Property Rights" Why leaving the family home doesn't mean forfeiting your share.

12:48 – Myth #2: "You Must Have Every Document Before You Can Settle" The truth about financial disclosure and realistic expectations.

19:40 – Myth #3: "Don't Mention Domestic Violence in Court" How this dangerous myth puts safety and outcomes at risk.

24:19 – Understanding Family Violence and Property Entitlements How abuse can affect how assets are divided.

25:19 – Should You Mention Domestic Violence in Family Court? Legal perspectives on disclosure and protection.

25:50 – Spousal Maintenance: Know When and How to Ask Why it's often overlooked—and how to advocate for yourself.

26:43 – Myth Busting: Are Addbacks Still Used in Property Settlements? Clarifying a misunderstood financial concept in family law.

28:57 – Myth #5: "Superannuation Must Be Split 50/50" Exploring how super splitting really works under Australian law.

32:16 – How to Educate Yourself and Work Better with Your Lawyer Tips for being informed, assertive, and legally empowered.

35:32 – Final Thoughts and How to Enrol in the Divorce Course Practical next steps and how to get more support.

41:53 – Listener Reviews and Community Shoutouts Sharing your feedback and how to get involved.

Resources

Central Practice Directions

https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

Free Disclosure Checklist

https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

Episode Links

Superannuation and Equalising super https://youtu.be/2BQEHmIwjio?si=kWg9F8c8rh4X8HqB

🚨 Support Services:

• 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

Listen to this episode if...

• You've been offered child inclusive mediation and don't know what to expect

• You're worried about how separation is affecting your child

• You're in a high-conflict co-parenting situation or dealing with coercive control

• You've been told that involving your child in mediation will "help"

• You want to make informed, child-centered decisions in your family law journey

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia.

In this powerful episode, Mum and I dive into a topic that's being promoted more and more in family law: Child Inclusive Mediation. On the surface, it sounds like a child-focused solution. But is it really in the best interest of your child?

We break down what child inclusive mediation actually involves, why it's not always as neutral or helpful as it's made out to be, and the serious emotional and legal implications it can have especially in high-conflict separations or situations involving coercive control.

From personal reflections to legal insights, we share why we're concerned about this process and what you need to consider before agreeing to include your child in any mediation setting.

What You'll Learn

• What child inclusive mediation really means in practice

• The difference between therapeutic support vs. pressure on children to speak up

• When this process might backfire emotionally or legally

• Why family reports may be a safer and more protective alternative

• Red flags and questions to ask before you say yes

⏱️ Episode Timeline: Is Child Inclusive Mediation Helpful or Harmful?

00:00 – Introduction: What Is Child Inclusive Mediation? An overview of this growing mediation trend in family law and why it's controversial.

01:29 – How the Mediation Process Works in Parenting Disputes Understanding how mediation fits into separation and custody discussions.

03:44 – Defining Child Inclusive Mediation in Australian Family Law Breaking down what actually happens when children are included in mediation.

05:52 – The Risks and Red Flags of Child Inclusive Mediation Emotional pressure, manipulation, and when this process may do more harm than good.

08:00 – Confidentiality Issues and the Emotional Toll on Children What children are told, how their information is used, and the psychological impact.

13:42 – The Problem with Over-Interviewing Children in Family Law Why repeated interviews can traumatize kids and undermine the process.

20:00 – Real Concerns About Child Inclusive Mediation in Practice Legal and ethical questions raised by lawyers, parents, and professionals.

21:07 – How Child Inclusive Mediation Affects Older Children Teen-specific concerns, autonomy, and the danger of putting kids in the middle.

23:42 – Family Reports vs. Child Inclusive Mediation A safer alternative? What to expect from a court-ordered family report.

24:41 – DIY Divorce Blueprint: Free Resource Mentioned How to get practical tools to guide you through separation and co-parenting.

28:27 – Key Questions to Ask Before Agreeing to Child Inclusive Mediation What to consider if this process has been suggested to you.

32:49 – Final Thoughts: Protecting Your Child's Voice and Mental Health Wrapping up with a parent-first, child-protective perspective.

Resources

Central Practice Directions

https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

Free Disclosure Checklist

https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

🚨 Support Services:

• 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

Listen to this episode if...

• You're newly separated and trying to figure out parenting arrangements.

• You don't have court orders yet and things are already getting tense.

• Your ex is unreliable, manipulative, or emotionally unpredictable.

• You're feeling pressured to agree to arrangements that feel unsafe or unfair.

• You want to avoid court but don't want to be taken advantage of.

Trying to co-parent after separation without court orders? This episode offers a general discussion that may help you better understand the common challenges many face during this stage. Mum and I talk through the confusion, conflict, and emotional chaos that often arise when parenting without formal agreements in place.

We explore how co-parenting typically unfolds in the early days post-separation, the general differences between parenting plans and court orders, and what can happen when one parent starts making sudden changes like; withholding time with the kids, shifting pick-up arrangements, or insisting on "rules" that were never agreed upon.

If you're feeling unsure about whether to formalize your arrangements, being pressured into something that feels unfair, or just don't know where to start, this episode provides a helpful overview, insights, and discussion points to consider. Please remember this is not legal advice. Always speak with a qualified professional for advice on your specific situation.

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia.

Co-Parenting Without Court Orders: The Real Rules and Red Flags You Need to Know

Episode Timeline Summary:

00:00 – Introduction: Co-Parenting After Separation Setting the stage for co-parenting challenges in the early days of separation.

01:23 – Myths and Misunderstandings About Separation Rules What many parents get wrong after they separate—and what's important to know.

03:42 – How to Decide Where the Kids Live After Separation Living arrangements, routines, and initial decisions—without court orders.

07:48 – Co-Parenting with a Manipulative or Controlling Ex Recognizing red flags and what to consider if you're being pressured or gaslit.

13:46 – Strategies for Co-Parenting with an Avoidant Ex When your ex won't engage or avoids parenting responsibilities.

18:40 – Managing High-Conflict Co-Parenting Situations What to do when emotions run high and agreements fall apart.

20:45 – Parenting Plans vs Court Orders: What's the Difference? Legal strength, enforceability, and when each option makes sense.

24:02 – Making Parenting Agreements Without Going to Court What to include, how to approach it, and setting healthy boundaries.

24:31 – Signs You're Dealing with a Manipulative Co-Parent Control tactics, emotional abuse, and maintaining your parenting role.

25:40 – Do You Need Court Orders or Is a Parenting Plan Enough? Legal protections and risks of informal arrangements.

28:38 – What to Do When Your Ex Avoids All Responsibility How to respond when you're carrying the full parenting load alone.

31:31 – High-Conflict Parenting Post-Separation Tips for managing ongoing disputes and protecting the kids.

33:51 – When Your Ex Ignores the Parenting Agreement Understanding your rights and the next steps if the agreement isn't followed.

35:02 – When to Consider Court Orders: Timing and Triggers Knowing the signs that it's time to formalize your parenting arrangement.

40:04 – Family Violence, Supervised Contact & Legal Protections When safety becomes an issue—and what support is available.

47:43 – Final Thoughts: Stay Grounded and Protect Your Peace Encouragement, next steps, and key reminders moving forward.

Resources

Central Practice Directions

https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

Free Disclosure Checklist

https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

Episode Links

The Hidden Connection between Property and Parenting in Divorce

https://youtu.be/w0-TnEjMmhs?si=_y1n3i0fejy04W2L

10 Essential Boundaries in Divorce

https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=nqq4fmavJGu25Z2X

🚨 Support Services:

• 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!