Listen to this episode if…
You're thinking about dating before your divorce, property or children's matters are final
Your ex has a new partner and you're worried about parenting or property issues
You're unsure how the court sees new relationships in family law matters
You want to know what's okay, what's risky, and what doesn't matter at all
Wondering if it's okay to date while your divorce is still in progress? You're not alone. In this episode, we unpack the legal, emotional, and strategic impacts of dating during divorce especially when children, property settlements, or court appearances are involved.
Whether you've just met someone new, or your ex is already flaunting their next relationship, we break down how new partners can influence family law outcomes in both parenting and property matters.
We cover the risks, realities, and misconceptions about what the court actually looks at and how to protect your position without putting your future on hold.
📌 Please remember this episode is for general information only and does not replace individual legal or safety advice. For immediate support in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.
🔑 Episode Timeline:
[00:00] Introduction: How New Relationships Can Impact Your Divorce Case
[01:13] Important Legal Disclaimer and Emotional Trigger Warnings
[02:02] Can a New Partner Affect Your Property Settlement in Divorce?
[09:35] Understanding No-Fault Divorce and How History Shaped Today's Rules
[15:11] Spousal Maintenance: Does Repartnering Change Eligibility?
[19:50] Child Support Implications When a New Partner Has Money
[22:11] Parenting Orders and Custody: What Role Do New Partners Play?
[25:25] How the Court Prioritizes Children's Welfare Over Relationship Status
[26:03] When (and How) to Introduce Your Kids to a New Partner
[28:13] Coercive Control, Repartnering, and Family Court Considerations
[30:05] What Are New Partners Responsible for in a Family Law Context?
[31:46] Red Flags: What Family Court Looks for in New Relationships
[33:34] Raising Concerns About New Partners Without Going to Court
[39:43] How to Document and Present Concerns the Right Way
[42:51] Does the Court Judge You for Repartnering During Divorce?
[45:16] Final Takeaways: Moving Forward with Caution and Clarity
🔗 Links & Resources:
1800RESPECT – 24/7 Support Service
Daisy App – Connect to Local Services
Before you go Checklist - https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/opt-in
Example Safety plans template - https://yourtoolkit.com/resource/safety-plan-template/
Family Court Safety Plan information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/pubs/fl/fvbpp#intro
The Purple Book https://domesticviolence.com.au/resources/the-purple-book/
Episode Links
Separated under one roof do's and don'ts
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ
Stuck under one roof what are your options
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg
Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw
🚨 Support Services:
Safe Beds RSPCA - check your state for details https://www.rspcaqld.org.au/what-we-do/save-animals/Pets%20in%20Crisis%20Program
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode.
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning:
This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control.
📌 Please remember this episode is for general information only and does not replace individual legal or safety advice. For immediate support in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.
When things feel uncertain or even unsafe it's not being paranoid to think ahead. It's being prepared.
In this important episode, we break down what a safety plan actually is, why it matters, and how to build one tailored to your situation. Whether you're living with abuse, planning to leave, or simply want to feel more secure going through the Family Court, we talk through the key steps and considerations from protecting your children to securing your documents and digital life.
You'll learn how safety planning can be a quiet, empowering way to take back control and set up the support you need. I also share resources, tools, and who to call if you want help doing it safely and confidentially.
🔑 Episode Timeline: From Fear to Freedom: Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need OneSafety Plans — What They Are & How to Make One
00:00 – Introduction: What is a Safety Plan and Why It Matters Overview of safety planning and who needs one.
02:06 – Why You Might Need a Safety Plan for Domestic Violence Signs, risks, and when it's time to prepare.
03:41 – Recognising Coercive Control and Hidden Danger Signals How emotional and behavioural control can put you at risk.
07:55 – Step‑by‑Step Guide to Creating Your Safety Plan Essential steps to start planning your safety today.
09:04 – Safety at Home: Preparing for a Potential Escape Practical tips for making your environment safer.
16:33 – Safety Technology: Real‑Time Tracking and Digital Risk Understanding digital abuse and how it affects your plan.
16:57 – Important Documents You Should Have Ready Checklist of documents to keep handy for safety or sudden departure.
17:33 – Leaving Without Explanation: When It's Necessary How to plan a quiet departure without alerting an abuser.
18:10 – The Power of Code Words and Communication Safety Using discreet signals to reach out for help.
19:20 – Planning Your Escape Route: Fast and Safe Exits How to map out the quickest way out when it's unsafe to stay.
20:11 – Handling Vehicle Safety and Transport During Escape Car strategies and avoiding being blocked in.
23:29 – Keeping Your Pets Safe During an Escape Plan Options and programs that support pets in family violence situations.
24:22 – Work, Online and Tech Safety Measures Protecting your devices, social media, and work life from monitoring or abuse.
27:00 – Staying Safe After Leaving a Violent Situation Changes to routines, communication, and personal security.
27:56 – Legal Steps to Support Your Safety Plan Protection orders, police involvement, and legal safety mechanisms.
30:58 – Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone — Support Is Available Encouragement and next steps with reminder resources.
🔗 Links & Resources:
1800RESPECT – 24/7 Support Service
Daisy App – Connect to Local Services
Before you go Checklist - https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/opt-in
Example Safety plans template - https://yourtoolkit.com/resource/safety-plan-template/
Family Court Safety Plan information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/pubs/fl/fvbpp#intro
The Purple Book https://domesticviolence.com.au/resources/the-purple-book/
Episode Links
Who gets the Car in the long and short term https://open.spotify.com/episode/7CmoF5nrBhVfDlJgVyXlGp?si=uXtMvH1dRoG74CSd-7pD9w
Separated under one roof do's and don'ts
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ
Stuck under one roof what are your options
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg
Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw
🚨 Support Services:
Safe Beds RSPCA - check your state for details https://www.rspcaqld.org.au/what-we-do/save-animals/Pets%20in%20Crisis%20Program
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning:
This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control.
You're navigating Christmas while going through separation or divorce
You're co-parenting and worried about holiday arrangements or conflict
You feel pressure from family and don't know how to handle it
You're confused about what to expect from lawyers or the courts over the break
You're worried about an emotional or legal crisis over the holidays
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning:
This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control.
Holidays can bring joy, but during separation or divorce, it can also bring stress, confusion, and conflict. If you're dreading the tough conversations this holiday season, you're not alone and this episode is here to help.
Mum and I walk through how to manage communication with all the key players during the festive period: your co-parent, your lawyer, your kids, extended family, and even the courts or police. Whether you're trying to set healthy boundaries, stuck living under one roof, or bracing for something to blow up we've got practical strategies to get you through it.
⏱️ Episode Timeline:
00:00 – Introduction: Navigating the Holidays During Divorce
01:52 – Communication Challenges for Divorcing Couples During the Holidays
03:10 – Should You Talk to Your Divorce Lawyer Over the Holiday Break?
06:00 – Co-Parenting Holiday Conflicts & Practical Solutions
13:19 – Managing Property Settlements During the Holiday Season
18:33 – Living Together While Separated: How to Handle the Holidays
22:55 – How to Communicate Holiday Plans with Your Kids During Divorce
26:44 – When to Reach Out to the Court During Holiday Disputes
26:57 – Understanding Court Closures & Delays Over the Holidays
28:06 – Urgent Divorce Matters: Emergency Contacts & What to Do
28:41 – How to Document Incidents for Court During the Holidays
29:16 – Handling Non-Emergency Divorce or Co-Parenting Issues
33:26 – When to Contact the Police During Divorce or Custody Conflicts
37:46 – Setting Boundaries with Family During a Holiday Divorce
39:16 – Creating Emergency Plans & Safety Measures
44:47 – Mental Health Tips for Coping with Divorce During the Holidays
47:04 – Engaging with Your Community for Support
48:07 – Final Thoughts & Holiday Farewell
Resources
Central Practice Directions
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Free Disclosure Checklist
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
Episode Links
From no no no to Ho Ho ho in your divorce
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3K7q02MlJr1VRteK7uJyTe?si=C1dm9sHMTV2NUuagpYllWw
Christmas & CoParenting
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3fcY2B7N0lDo8U1WAqozVz?si=i_RzkSgMSPSbMT4ZeZqDVA
Separated for the Holidays How to deal with it emotionally
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zzVKOc0LJY3uZhnLXfiJC?si=LT0sg7wMT3OACnFHOER8AA
CoParenting without Court Orders
https://open.spotify.com/episode/05BC7rliGHpKcQ58JJzZej?si=iKR82uY6S2G-SF_XHeltQA
Handover Hell
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=v8ILJ4p3Qi6dycn4WhEv4g
Separated under one roof do's and don'ts
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ
Stuck under one roof what are your options
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg
Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw
🚨 Support Services:
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode.
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
You're preparing for mediation or trying to negotiate privately
What to learn the potential do's and don'ts of negotiations in divorce
You feel like your ex is "sitting pretty" and not engaging
You want to know the difference between reasonable and risky offers
You've made concessions early on and don't know how to recover
You want to avoid court, but still get a fair deal
This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation.
⏱️ Episode Timeline: Smart Divorce Negotiation Strategies That Actually Work
00:00 – Introduction to Divorce Negotiation Strategies Why negotiation matters and how to approach it with confidence.
00:33 – Meet the Hosts + Legal Disclaimer Who we are and a reminder this episode is for educational purposes only.
01:15 – Understanding the 3 Stages of Divorce Negotiation How strategy shifts between early separation, mediation, and court prep.
03:40 – Early Stage Negotiation Tips: Don't Rush, Repackage Your Offer Using smart presentations to make your offer sound more appealing.
07:54 – Mediation Tactics: Window Dressing and Framing Percentages How to reshape your proposal to match your ex's language and values.
20:04 – Mid-Stage Negotiation: When to Turn Up the Heat Signs it's time to get firmer and more structured in your approach.
22:05 – Using Real Court Cases to Support Your Offer Legal precedents and examples that make your proposal more persuasive.
26:09 – Common Myths and Mistakes in Divorce Negotiation Misunderstandings around legal advice and negotiation timelines.
27:29 – The Risk of Delaying Legal Action Too Long What happens when you wait too long to formalize your agreement?
28:01 – Understanding Pre-Action Procedure Letters and Legal Guidelines What they are, why they matter, and how they shape negotiation.
28:58 – Using Legal Costs as a Leverage Tool How to show what delays or refusals could cost in real terms.
29:23 – Should You Mention Court in Negotiation? When and Why Using the "threat of court" wisely to re-engage a stalled process.
33:02 – Smart Strategies for Writing Pre-Action Letters How to set the tone and expectations before heading to court.
34:53 – Court Door Negotiation Tactics: Calderbank Offers and Timing Last-minute strategies that could settle your case without trial.
38:53 – Do's and Don'ts of Divorce Negotiation The best and worst moves people make—and how to avoid mistakes.
51:21 – Final Thoughts: Confidence, Control, and Long-Term Focus Why the goal is clarity, closure, and fairness—not "winning."
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode
Resources
Central Practice Directions
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Free Disclosure Checklist
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
FCFCOA Judgements - Cases
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/judgments
Episode Links
Pitfalls of percentages in Negotiations Early On
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe?si=RWmY0i9eTuyWdUNQIuKNQg
https://youtu.be/o1n16TyarUo?si=hdxY73U3ZZ4gJ3Uj
Boundaries in Divorce
https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=KyJGKYneiBek41fe
Costs and Calderbank Offers
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2B2Se7hTIBAOg5f5YJ5wqE?si=EUOrEmeAQCWr6BOFt3RtuQ
https://youtu.be/0OKhDB8s3As?si=Vub2ujv1mapniv8L
Divorce Dynamic, balancing power with progress
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5I3WfPNkXncss2EI5jJwD1?si=YsTIkKDXTiqFIyDN7Qwn-g
From no no no to Ho Ho ho in your divorce
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3K7q02MlJr1VRteK7uJyTe?si=C1dm9sHMTV2NUuagpYllWw
🚨 Support Services:
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
You're feeling emotionally overloaded
Everyone around you has an opinion and it's stressing you out
You're being pushed to make decisions faster than you're ready for
You're not sure what's a legal deadline vs. emotional urgency
You're feeling pressure from all sides to get things sorted
You are overwhelmed
📌 Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode.
Are you feeling completely overwhelmed by your separation or divorce? Like everything is urgent, everyone needs something from you
You are not alone and this episode is here to help.
In this conversation, Mum and I walk through 8 practical ways to calm the chaos, slow things down, and take back control of your divorce journey. We cover emotional overwhelm, confusing legal pressure, and the early survival strategies that can make all the difference.
Whether you're still in shock or already knee-deep in logistics, this episode is your gentle reminder that you don't have to do it all at once and you shouldn't.
⏱️ Episode Timeline: Divorce Overwhelm – 8 Ways to Stay Sane When Everything Feels Urgent
00:00 – Introduction: Overcoming Divorce Overwhelm Why everything feels urgent—and how this episode can help you breathe again.
00:21 – Feeling Pressured to Make Fast Decisions During Divorce How panic can lead to poor choices and what to do instead.
00:28 – 8 Practical Strategies to Regain Control in Separation Overview of what you'll learn and how to use these tips right away.
00:51 – Welcome and What This Episode Covers Who this episode is for and why this conversation matters.
01:08 – The Stress of Divorce Deadlines and Decision Fatigue How urgency from lawyers, family, or your ex can overwhelm you.
03:17 – Legal vs. Emotional Deadlines: Know the Difference Understanding what's truly urgent and what can wait.
06:50 – The Emotional Shock of a Breakup Why you're not functioning "normally" and that's okay.
13:48 – Setting Boundaries with Family and Friends During Divorce How to protect your peace from well-meaning (but draining) input.
19:48 – Prioritizing Safety, Shelter, and Stability First Triage your needs: food, housing, money, transport before anything else.
23:34 – Recognizing and Responding to Financial Abuse What financial control looks like—and how to get support.
24:09 – Why Self-Care Is Essential, Not Optional Simple ways to take care of yourself when everything feels like too much.
28:10 – Making Space for Grief and Emotional Recovery Letting yourself feel, cry, and heal without guilt.
30:41 – How Learning the Process Can Help You Feel Empowered Education as a tool to reduce panic and increase confidence.
34:32 – Creating a New Divorce Routine That Works for You Using structure and small steps to take back control of your life.
39:29 – Final Thoughts: You've Got This, One Step at a Time Encouragement, next steps, and reminding you—you're not alone.
Resources
Central Practice Directions
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Free Disclosure Checklist
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
Episode Links
Boundaries in Divorce
https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=KyJGKYneiBek41fe
🚨 Support Services:
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
You're in the middle of a separation and unsure what advice to follow
Friends, family, or Facebook have told you "what to do"
You've heard you can't leave the house without losing everything
You feel pressured not to bring up domestic violence
You're confused about disclosure, super splitting, or property rights
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING Discussions of Family Violence
Have you been told that if you leave the house, you lose everything? Or that you shouldn't mention domestic violence in family court? These are just a few examples of the harmful myths in Australia we hear all too often in separation and divorce.
In this episode, Laura & Lyn expose some of the worst legal advice circulating in family law and explain why it can derail your case, delay your outcome, or damage your safety and rights.
They break down five of the most common (and dangerous) misconceptions, share what the law really says, and help you feel more confident about asking the right questions of your lawyer and making informed decisions.
⏱️ Episode Timeline: Episode 221 Family Law Myths Don't Fall for These 5 During Separation
00:00 – Introduction: Debunking Common Family Law Myths Why bad legal advice is everywhere—and how it can derail your case.
01:42 – The Real Impact of Misinformation in Separation and Divorce What happens when you follow outdated or incorrect legal advice.
05:37 – Myth #1: "If You Leave the House, You Lose Your Property Rights" Why leaving the family home doesn't mean forfeiting your share.
12:48 – Myth #2: "You Must Have Every Document Before You Can Settle" The truth about financial disclosure and realistic expectations.
19:40 – Myth #3: "Don't Mention Domestic Violence in Court" How this dangerous myth puts safety and outcomes at risk.
24:19 – Understanding Family Violence and Property Entitlements How abuse can affect how assets are divided.
25:19 – Should You Mention Domestic Violence in Family Court? Legal perspectives on disclosure and protection.
25:50 – Spousal Maintenance: Know When and How to Ask Why it's often overlooked—and how to advocate for yourself.
26:43 – Myth Busting: Are Addbacks Still Used in Property Settlements? Clarifying a misunderstood financial concept in family law.
28:57 – Myth #5: "Superannuation Must Be Split 50/50" Exploring how super splitting really works under Australian law.
32:16 – How to Educate Yourself and Work Better with Your Lawyer Tips for being informed, assertive, and legally empowered.
35:32 – Final Thoughts and How to Enrol in the Divorce Course Practical next steps and how to get more support.
41:53 – Listener Reviews and Community Shoutouts Sharing your feedback and how to get involved.
Resources
Central Practice Directions
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Free Disclosure Checklist
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
Episode Links
Superannuation and Equalising super https://youtu.be/2BQEHmIwjio?si=kWg9F8c8rh4X8HqB
🚨 Support Services:
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
You've been offered child inclusive mediation and don't know what to expect
You're worried about how separation is affecting your child
You're in a high-conflict co-parenting situation or dealing with coercive control
You've been told that involving your child in mediation will "help"
You want to make informed, child-centered decisions in your family law journey
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia.
In this powerful episode, Mum and I dive into a topic that's being promoted more and more in family law: Child Inclusive Mediation. On the surface, it sounds like a child-focused solution. But is it really in the best interest of your child?
We break down what child inclusive mediation actually involves, why it's not always as neutral or helpful as it's made out to be, and the serious emotional and legal implications it can have especially in high-conflict separations or situations involving coercive control.
From personal reflections to legal insights, we share why we're concerned about this process and what you need to consider before agreeing to include your child in any mediation setting.
What You'll Learn
What child inclusive mediation really means in practice
The difference between therapeutic support vs. pressure on children to speak up
When this process might backfire emotionally or legally
Why family reports may be a safer and more protective alternative
Red flags and questions to ask before you say yes
⏱️ Episode Timeline: Is Child Inclusive Mediation Helpful or Harmful?
00:00 – Introduction: What Is Child Inclusive Mediation? An overview of this growing mediation trend in family law and why it's controversial.
01:29 – How the Mediation Process Works in Parenting Disputes Understanding how mediation fits into separation and custody discussions.
03:44 – Defining Child Inclusive Mediation in Australian Family Law Breaking down what actually happens when children are included in mediation.
05:52 – The Risks and Red Flags of Child Inclusive Mediation Emotional pressure, manipulation, and when this process may do more harm than good.
08:00 – Confidentiality Issues and the Emotional Toll on Children What children are told, how their information is used, and the psychological impact.
13:42 – The Problem with Over-Interviewing Children in Family Law Why repeated interviews can traumatize kids and undermine the process.
20:00 – Real Concerns About Child Inclusive Mediation in Practice Legal and ethical questions raised by lawyers, parents, and professionals.
21:07 – How Child Inclusive Mediation Affects Older Children Teen-specific concerns, autonomy, and the danger of putting kids in the middle.
23:42 – Family Reports vs. Child Inclusive Mediation A safer alternative? What to expect from a court-ordered family report.
24:41 – DIY Divorce Blueprint: Free Resource Mentioned How to get practical tools to guide you through separation and co-parenting.
28:27 – Key Questions to Ask Before Agreeing to Child Inclusive Mediation What to consider if this process has been suggested to you.
32:49 – Final Thoughts: Protecting Your Child's Voice and Mental Health Wrapping up with a parent-first, child-protective perspective.
Resources
Central Practice Directions
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Free Disclosure Checklist
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
🚨 Support Services:
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
Listen to this episode if...
You're newly separated and trying to figure out parenting arrangements.
You don't have court orders yet and things are already getting tense.
Your ex is unreliable, manipulative, or emotionally unpredictable.
You're feeling pressured to agree to arrangements that feel unsafe or unfair.
You want to avoid court but don't want to be taken advantage of.
Trying to co-parent after separation without court orders? This episode offers a general discussion that may help you better understand the common challenges many face during this stage. Mum and I talk through the confusion, conflict, and emotional chaos that often arise when parenting without formal agreements in place.
We explore how co-parenting typically unfolds in the early days post-separation, the general differences between parenting plans and court orders, and what can happen when one parent starts making sudden changes like; withholding time with the kids, shifting pick-up arrangements, or insisting on "rules" that were never agreed upon.
If you're feeling unsure about whether to formalize your arrangements, being pressured into something that feels unfair, or just don't know where to start, this episode provides a helpful overview, insights, and discussion points to consider. Please remember this is not legal advice. Always speak with a qualified professional for advice on your specific situation.
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia.
Co-Parenting Without Court Orders: The Real Rules and Red Flags You Need to Know
Episode Timeline Summary:
00:00 – Introduction: Co-Parenting After Separation Setting the stage for co-parenting challenges in the early days of separation.
01:23 – Myths and Misunderstandings About Separation Rules What many parents get wrong after they separate—and what's important to know.
03:42 – How to Decide Where the Kids Live After Separation Living arrangements, routines, and initial decisions—without court orders.
07:48 – Co-Parenting with a Manipulative or Controlling Ex Recognizing red flags and what to consider if you're being pressured or gaslit.
13:46 – Strategies for Co-Parenting with an Avoidant Ex When your ex won't engage or avoids parenting responsibilities.
18:40 – Managing High-Conflict Co-Parenting Situations What to do when emotions run high and agreements fall apart.
20:45 – Parenting Plans vs Court Orders: What's the Difference? Legal strength, enforceability, and when each option makes sense.
24:02 – Making Parenting Agreements Without Going to Court What to include, how to approach it, and setting healthy boundaries.
24:31 – Signs You're Dealing with a Manipulative Co-Parent Control tactics, emotional abuse, and maintaining your parenting role.
25:40 – Do You Need Court Orders or Is a Parenting Plan Enough? Legal protections and risks of informal arrangements.
28:38 – What to Do When Your Ex Avoids All Responsibility How to respond when you're carrying the full parenting load alone.
31:31 – High-Conflict Parenting Post-Separation Tips for managing ongoing disputes and protecting the kids.
33:51 – When Your Ex Ignores the Parenting Agreement Understanding your rights and the next steps if the agreement isn't followed.
35:02 – When to Consider Court Orders: Timing and Triggers Knowing the signs that it's time to formalize your parenting arrangement.
40:04 – Family Violence, Supervised Contact & Legal Protections When safety becomes an issue—and what support is available.
47:43 – Final Thoughts: Stay Grounded and Protect Your Peace Encouragement, next steps, and key reminders moving forward.
Resources
Central Practice Directions
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Free Disclosure Checklist
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
Episode Links
The Hidden Connection between Property and Parenting in Divorce
https://youtu.be/w0-TnEjMmhs?si=_y1n3i0fejy04W2L
10 Essential Boundaries in Divorce
https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=nqq4fmavJGu25Z2X
🚨 Support Services:
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
Listen to this episode if...
You're divorcing or separating from someone who owns or runs a business.
You're in a family business with your ex and things are getting murky.
You suspect your ex is hiding assets or undervaluing the business.
You're overwhelmed by the complexity of business valuations in divorce.
You're preparing for mediation or court and want to understand your options.
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
Divorcing a business owner or running a business with your soon-to-be ex? You must hear this. In this eye-opening episode, Mum and I dive into the most common and sneaky tricks business owners use during separation and how to stay one step ahead.
From manipulating business valuations to hiding assets in clone companies, refusing disclosure, and even dragging staff into the mess, we break down each tactic with real-world examples and strategies you can use. Whether you're preparing for mediation or already deep in the property settlement process, this is a must-listen for anyone who suspects their ex isn't playing fair when a business is involved.
Episode Timeline Summary: Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart!
00:00 – Intro: Divorce and Business Ownership Understanding why divorcing a business owner is uniquely challenging.
01:06 – Real-Life Divorce Scenarios with a Business Involved What happens when you're in business with your ex—or they own one.
03:02 – Trick #1: Making the Business Seem Worthless How business owners hide value before property settlement.
08:12 – Trick #2: Starting a New Business to Hide Assets The "mirror business" strategy and how to uncover it.
09:26 – Trick #3: Issuing New Shares to Dilute Ownership What to do when your share of the business suddenly shrinks.
12:41 – Trick #4: Hiding Income and Creating Fake Tax Debts How income manipulation affects child support and property division.
17:58 – Trick #5: Refusing to Allow a Business Valuation Steps to take when your ex delays or avoids business valuation.
19:58 – Legal Disclaimer: General Education Only Reminder to seek personal legal advice for your situation.
20:39 – How Courts Handle Business Valuation & Disclosure Why you don't need full financial disclosure to move forward.
21:31 – Trick #6: Cooking the Books & Cash Deals Spotting hidden income, second books, and cash-based deception.
26:39 – Trick #7: Financial Abuse via Job Loss or Sacking What to do when your ex cuts your income post-separation.
32:01 – Trick #8: Superannuation and Self-Managed Funds Risks of SMSFs and how assets may be hidden or misused.
36:39 – Court Penalties for Business-Related Divorce Tricks When shady business tactics backfire in property settlements.
40:36 – Listener Review & Free Coaching Call Giveaway Shoutout to a listener + how to win a free call with Mum.
Resources
Central Practice Directions
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Free Disclosure Checklist
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
Shinohara & Shinohara [2025] FedCFamC1A 126 (23 July 2025)
https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/126.html
Shamon & Shamon [2025] FedCFamC1A 150 (8 September 2025)
https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/150.html
Episode Links
Your Business and Divorce (old episode)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0CwIeW1ZHTphzvhPdlq2Bf?si=JCtAHG7NTom5YSceqdSJ2Q
Weapons of Tax Destruction
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1Bvc2JFmgcLMpIZLIXEwVR?si=KT3UdjZRQAWjDRp3EMXhiw
DIY Disclosure
https://open.spotify.com/episode/49yOIB1GLDmXgeZCXkfyJS?si=nhgq3QQlQge-CSYLkMGKBg
🚨 Support Services:
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
You constantly walk away from conversations with your ex feeling drained, confused, or second-guessing yourself.
Co-parenting feels more like a battleground than teamwork.
You suspect your ex might be narcissistic or manipulative, but you're not sure what to do about it.
You want to learn how to protect your children emotionally while staying calm and in control.
You're tired of being baited into fights and want tools to respond, not react.
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. 📌 Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances.
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
💻 The Divorce Course Free Resources
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
What You'll Learn: Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids💔 Recognising the Signs: Mia explains how narcissistic or high-conflict co-parents reveal themselves — through blame-shifting, entitlement, image obsession, and control.
⚖️ The Court Reality Check: Lyn shares why using the word "narcissist" in court can backfire — and how to instead describe their behaviours (the "ingredients" rather than "the cake").
🧱 Setting Boundaries That Stick: How to stop being pulled into chaos, manage constant conflicts, and accept "who you're dealing with" so you can regain power.
🧒 Protecting the Kids: Red flags to watch for in how your ex uses or manipulates the children — and how to model calm, consistent parenting when they don't.
💬 Parenting Teenagers of Narcissistic Exes: Mia and Lyn dive into the tricky years — when kids start echoing their narcissistic parent's behaviour — and how to hold firm without turning into your ex.
💪 Your Healing & Hope: Why the most powerful move isn't "winning" against your ex — it's rebuilding your self-trust, removing their emotional "buttons," and staying in your own lane.
🔗 Guest Expert
Mia from Grey Rock Consulting — https://www.greyrockconsulting.com.au/ Lawyer, founder, and Australia's first certified Master High Conflict Negotiation Coach (trained by Rebecca Zung). Mia helps clients and lawyers navigate high-conflict personalities with strategy, clarity, and self-preservation.
⏱️ Episode Timeline –
00:00 — Intro: Are You Co-Parenting with a Narcissist? Signs to Watch For
00:34 — Meet Mia from Grey Rock Consulting: Expert in Narcissists & High-Conflict Exes
02:11 — What Narcissistic Co-Parenting Really Looks Like (and Why It's So Draining)
13:51 — How Narcissistic Co-Parenting Affects Kids Emotionally and Psychologically
18:25 — Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist: Staying Calm & In Control
21:49 — What to Include (and Avoid) in Parenting Orders or Plans
26:22 — Custody Chaos: When Your Narcissistic Ex Twists the Rules
26:45 — Unexpected Changes & Power Plays: How to Handle Parenting Plan Disputes
27:32 — Dealing with Difficult Co-Parents Who Refuse to Cooperate
29:12 — Emotional Recovery: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
29:53 — When to Push Back (and When to Let It Go) in Co-Parenting Conflicts
35:08 — Teenagers & Narcissistic Parents: What to Do When Kids Mirror the Ex
37:38 — Maintaining Boundaries, Consistency & Emotional Safety at Home
40:39 — Becoming the Positive Role Model Your Kids Need
43:22 — Focusing on You: Self-Growth, Strength & Rebuilding Confidence
46:44 — Where to Get Help: Support, Counselling & Co-Parenting Resources
49:15 — Final Thoughts: Finding Freedom from a Narcissistic Co-Parent
Related Episodes:
Is it emotional abuse?
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=VV8mR7aYS7uJYstTMYwZvg
Post Divorce Glow Up
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7JoSZEPWiMgM1N1G1C6WSU?si=HDBpOPXqTnmzzrIudA16tQ
Divorcing an abuser
https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=lonuOpx8Q22ZRrKKbArc0g
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew 🎙️ The Narcissist Playbook
https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK
🚨 Support Services (Australia):
1800 RESPECT – Family Violence Support
Lifeline 13 11 14 – Crisis Support
Police – Call 000 if you are in danger
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
🎧 Listen to this episode if… 💔 You've left an abusive relationship but still feel stuck, numb, or confused. 🧠 You're trying to understand why you still feel controlled, scared, or exhausted. 💬 You want to know what healing actually looks like and how long it takes. 💪 You're ready to start finding yourself again after years of walking on eggshells. 🌸 You want to rebuild your confidence, identity, and hope for the future. 💫 You just need to hear that full recovery is possible
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. 📌 Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances.
Leaving an abusive relationship doesn't mean the pain or confusion stops overnight. In this heartfelt episode, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krazi Kirova, who specialises in trauma recovery and emotional abuse. Together, they explore what happens after you leave the emotional crash, the exhaustion, and eventually, the glow-up.
You'll learn what the research says about post-separation abuse, why healing takes time, and the eight key stages of recovery every survivor eventually moves through. Krazi shares powerful, evidence-based insights on rebuilding safety, identity, and connection and why the "post-divorce glow-up" you see online is about so much more than appearance.
If you're in that stage where you feel broken, tired, and unsure of who you are this episode is for you. It's about hope, self-reclamation, and the small steps that slowly lead to peace, power, and joy again.
⏱️ Episode Timeline – The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Healing After Abuse
00:00 – Introduction: Leaving abuse and why the pain doesn't stop overnight 01:00 – Support reminder: Lifeline, 1800 RESPECT, and why safety comes first 02:00 – What keeps you stuck after leaving an abusive partner 03:00 – Why recovery can't begin until you feel physically and emotionally safe 05:00 – The psychological "hurricane" of separation — and why it gets worse before it gets better 07:00 – Understanding post-separation abuse and coercive control 09:00 – How predictability helps survivors regain power and calm 11:00 – How courts are improving in recognising coercive control and trauma 12:00 – The physical and emotional depletion from years of abuse 13:00 – The "post-divorce glow-up" — and why your energy eventually returns 17:00 – How long does it really take to heal after abuse? 18:00 – What research says about recovery — it's not linear 19:00 – The 8 key tasks for healing and recovery 20:00 – Step 1: Establishing safety — physical, emotional, and financial 22:00 – Step 2: Educating yourself and re-examining the relationship 25:00 – Step 3: Rebuilding identity — remembering who you are 29:00 – Step 4: Rebuilding social connections and support networks 32:00 – Step 5: Being selective about who you let in — healthy relationships only 33:00 – Step 6: Taking time before dating again 35:00 – Step 7: Embracing freedom, autonomy, and decision-making 38:00 – Step 8: Accepting recovery as a process — patience and self-kindness 42:00 – Courts and trauma-informed change in the family law system 44:00 – Step 9: Healing mentally and physically — reconnecting with your body 46:00 – The power of community, spirituality, and belonging in recovery 47:00 – Final reflections: "It's a journey — and you are getting somewhere."
Resources Mentioned: 🧩 Kirova Psychology – Personal Resources
https://kirovapsychology.com.au/personal-resources/
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
💻 The Divorce Course Free Resources
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
Related Episodes: 🎙️ Is It Emotional Abuse?
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11
Is it emotional abuse?
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=VV8mR7aYS7uJYstTMYwZvg
Divorcing an abuser
https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=lonuOpx8Q22ZRrKKbArc0g
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew
🎙️ When Mediation Goes Wrong (And What You Can Do Next)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv 🎙️ The Narcissist Playbook
https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK
🚨 Support Services (Australia):
1800 RESPECT – Family Violence Support
Lifeline 13 11 14 – Crisis Support
Police – Call 000 if you are in danger
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.