Head Noise: My Partner Trauma Dumps, I Feel Like a Fraud at Work, and I Freeze in Conflict

In this Head Noise episode, we unpack three listener dilemmas that all come down to boundaries, self-perception, and finding your voice when things feel overwhelming.

We talk about:

• Whether to stay with a partner who constantly trauma dumps — and how to figure out if the relationship is actually sustainable long-term

• What imposter syndrome really is at a new job, and how to rewrite your self-talk so it becomes realistic and empowering instead of self-sabotaging

• Why some people freeze during confrontation, and how to start responding instead of shutting down

This episode covers:

• Emotional compatibility vs emotional exhaustion in relationships

• Determining if your needs are being met — not just if you care about someone

• Reframing “I’m a fraud” thinking into grounded, self-supportive internal dialogue

• The psychology behind conflict freeze responses

• How to make decisions that protect your energy and long-term wellbeing

If you’ve ever felt drained by someone you love, doubted your place at work, or struggled to speak up when it matters, this one will resonate.

As always, Head Noise is about cutting through emotional overwhelm so you can make clearer, calmer decisions.

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In this Head Noise episode, we’re unpacking three very different dilemmas that all come down to trust, discomfort, and self-honesty.

We talk about:

• What to do when you get back with someone who previously ghosted you, and the trust issues won’t go away

• How to build a relationship with your sister-in-law when you fundamentally don’t see eye to eye

• Why you might want to leave a “lovely” boyfriend, and how to know if you’re making a mistake or finally listening to yourself

This episode covers:

• Rebuilding trust after being ghosted (and whether it’s actually possible)

• Why good on paper doesn’t always mean right for you

• Fear of regret vs fear of staying stuck

• Choosing peace over potential

If you’ve ever stayed because you were scared to hurt someone, gone back to someone who hurt you, or felt guilty for wanting something different, this one will hit.

As always, Head Noise is about cutting through the emotional fog and helping you make decisions that align with your self-respect.

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In this Head Noise episode, I answer three listener questions that sit right at the intersection of hope, attachment, and self-betrayal the kind of decisions that feel impossible when you’re emotionally involved.

We talk about:

• Whether you should leave a life you love to move cities in the hope of finding a partner

• What to do when your cheating ex wants you back, is in therapy, and swears they’ve changed, especially when you’ve already moved on with someone else

• How to emotionally detach and move forward after being slowly ghosted by someone you thought things were going really well with

This episode breaks down the psychology behind:

• Making life decisions from loneliness vs self-trust

• Sex addiction, and the difference between change and intention

• Why ghosting hurts so much

• Choosing yourself without spiralling into guilt or doubt

As always, Head Noise episodes are about cutting through the emotional fog and helping you see what’s actually happening, so you can make decisions that protect your peace and self-respect.

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How to Reclaim Your Power Without Controlling Anyone

In this episode, I break down the psychology behind control. Why we try to manage other people’s behaviour, emotions, and choices, and how that quietly drains our power, peace, and sense of self.

We talk about:

• Why trying to control others makes you feel more powerless, not less

• How victim mentality keeps you dependent on other people’s energy and validation

• The ways control shows up as guilt, emotional pressure, or “needs”

• Why boundaries are about your behaviour and not changing someone else’s

• How letting go of control reduces anxiety and emotional exhaustion

• Why focusing only on yourself feels uncomfortable but creates real change

• How to stop feeling guilty, indebted, or responsible for other people’s emotions

• The mindset shift that helps you reclaim your power without force, manipulation, or emotional labour

This episode is for anyone who feels drained by relationships, stuck in cycles of guilt or resentment, or exhausted from trying to hold everything together.

You don’t need more control.
You need your power back.

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Why do you keep comparing yourself to everyone else, even people you love?
Why does competition creep into friendships, relationships, work, and social media… even when you know it’s making you feel worse?

In this episode, I break down the psychology of comparison and competition. Why your brain gets stuck in it, why some situations trigger you more than others, and how to end the comparison cycle permanently, not just “manage” it.

We talk about:

• Why comparison isn’t the problem, loss of self-trust is

• How triggers reveal where you’ve outsourced your worth

• The difference between healthy ambition and toxic competition

• Why comparing yourself to friends and siblings hurts the most

• How social media intensifies insecurity without you realising

• The psychology behind competing for validation, attention, and approval

• How to stop competing in friendships, dating, and everyday life

• The mindset shift that makes comparison lose its power for good

This episode is for anyone who feels behind, constantly measures themselves against others, or is exhausted by the quiet mental competition they can’t seem to turn off.

If comparison is draining your confidence, affecting your relationships, or keeping you stuck, this episode will help you understand why it happens and exactly how to step out of it for good.

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BONJOUR! Head Noise today!

So many questions coming through so we are ramping up these Head Noise episodes.

Today we cover dating curses and how to break out of them, issues with friends who have given you the silent treatment, how to advance at work and stop being a soggy lemon and what to do when you take a step back for the sake of your mental health but it causes your mental health to continue to suffer because of the dreaded identity crisis.

Lets get into it!!

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On this HN episode, I get to answer your questions and they are GOOD. ⁠
We get to the bottom of:

• Why you may be so bad at picking the right partner, how to change something within you to make better choices moving forward.

• Why you do not have to feel guilty for cutting a friend off even if they have zero friends (ahem, accountability)

• How to deal with a painfully negative mother (whom you adore and do not want to cut out)

• And what to do if you are at the 7 year mark, unsure if you should stay or leave when there is a house and 2 dogs involved.
  

Don’t forget to send through YOUR Head Noise questions to ⁠⁠[email protected]

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If rejection (or even perceived rejection) feels physically painful, overwhelming, or impossible to shake, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore the psychology behind Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) a widely recognized experience (though not a formal diagnosis) that’s especially common in people with ADHD, and anyone who struggles with intense emotional reactions to rejection, criticism, or disapproval.

This episode covers:

• What RSD actually feels like and why it can feel physically painful

• The difference between real rejection and perceived rejection

• Common triggers (and why perception matters more than reality)

• What’s happening in the brain during an RSD spiral

• Signs you may be experiencing RSD

• Why people-pleasing, avoidance, overachievement, and rumination don’t actually help

• How RSD differs from “normal” emotional sensitivity

• The link between RSD, ADHD, and emotional dysregulation

This episode isn’t about “toughening up” or stopping emotions from happening.

It’s about learning how to move through rejection without losing yourself to it and rebuilding a sense of control, safety, and self-trust.

If you’ve ever thought, “I know this is irrational, but it feels unbearable,” this conversation will help you understand why and what to do next.

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Episode 10 – Choosing Peace Is the Power Move

(How Stability, Clarity, and Balance Actually Give You Everything You Want)
The Reset You Actually Need

For a long time, hustle culture convinced us that being busy meant we were getting somewhere.

In Episode 10 — the final episode of The Reset You Actually Need , we explore why choosing peace isn’t giving up on ambition, but refining it into something sustainable, intelligent, and far more effective.

This episode breaks down:

• Why hustle culture confuses motion with real progress

• How constant urgency fragments attention and fuels anxiety

• Why peace of mind increases performance rather than complacency

• How balance isn’t a compromise it’s an optimisation strategy

• Why inconsistency creates anxiety and the illusion of “falling behind”

• How overstimulation kills clarity, creativity, and fulfilment

• Why slower, long-form thinking leads to better decisions and deeper satisfaction

We talk about the gap between where you are and where you think you should be and how that gap is often the source of chronic anxiety. Not because you’re failing, but because you’re trying to sprint instead of stabilise.

Choosing peace doesn’t mean doing less.
It means doing the right things, consistently, without burning yourself out.

This episode is about redefining success so you don’t have to escape your own life to survive it.

This episode concludes a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and step into the year calm, clear, and self-led.

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Day 9. Less Proving, More Choosing

The Reset You Actually Need

So much exhaustion comes from trying to prove your worth.

In Day 9 of The Reset You Actually Need, we explore what happens when you stop performing for validation and start making decisions from clarity, self-trust, and alignment instead.

This episode breaks down:

• The difference between proving and choosing and why it matters

• Why proving is reactive, while choosing is grounded and powerful

• How the need to prove often comes from unresolved self-doubt

• Why proving keeps you busy, but choosing actually moves you forward

• How choosing makes boundaries feel simpler and more natural

• The discomfort that comes with choosing and why it’s necessary

This episode isn’t about becoming cold, dismissive, or disconnected.

When you stop trying to convince people of your value, your decisions get quieter, clearer, and far more effective.

Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and move through the year with calm authority and direction.

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Day 8 – Until You Learn to Rest, You Will Not Get Ahead

The Reset You Actually Need

So many people think they’re resting but they’re actually avoiding.

In Day 8 of The Reset You Actually Need, we explore why confusing rest with avoidance keeps you feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and stuck in the same place, even when you’re “taking breaks.”

This episode covers:

• The difference between real rest and avoidance behaviours

• Why your mood and energy don’t change when rest isn’t restorative

• The kinds of tasks people avoid and why

• How to tell if you truly rested or just numbed out

• Why sleep alone doesn’t fix exhaustion

• Forms of rest that actually restore energy and calm the nervous system

• Why some activities are more restful than bed rotting

• How to wind down on your own without avoidance

If you feel like you’re constantly tired, overwhelmed, or needing more time off — this episode will help you understand what kind of rest you actually need, and how to get it without sabotaging your momentum.

Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and move through the year with clarity and calm self-leadership.

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