In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton breaks down why eating disorders are rarely actually about the food or your body. We look at what’s really happening behind the strict rules, rituals, and need for control, and how these behaviors often show up as survival mechanisms to protect us from deeper stress, trauma, and overwhelm. Whether you’re struggling with restrictive eating, binging, purging, orthorexia, or just feel completely exhausted by your relationship with food, this conversation is here to give you clarity, reduce the shame, and help you understand what your brain is actually trying to tell you.

REBOUND: visit www.hellorebound.com/askkatianything & check your insurance or get matched with a therapistONESKIN: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code KATI at www.oneskin.co/KATI 00:00 - Why eating disorders aren't actually about food 00:40 - Pica: Eating non-food items & nutrient deficiencies 05:41 - ARFID: Sensory food avoidance without body dysmorphia 11:13 - Rumination Disorder: Regurgitation & unspoken shame 14:13 - Anorexia Nervosa: Energy restriction & body checking 17:16 - Bulimia Nervosa: Binging, purging & compensatory rules 20:59 - Binge Eating Disorder: Rapid eating, guilt & secrecy 23:56 - Orthorexia: When clean eating & rules run your life 30:43 - Why eating disorders are actually survival mechanisms 49:35 - How loved ones can offer support without triggering shame MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) This is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you. PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

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Do you think about your therapist between sessions? Check their social media? Spiral when they cancel? A licensed therapist explains why attachment to your therapist happens, why it's actually part of the process, and the exact signs that tell you when it's crossed into unhealthy territory. In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton breaks down the therapeutic relationship: the single strongest predictor of whether therapy actually works. She answers listener questions about feeling "creepy" for looking up their therapist, why therapy can feel transactional and fake, and what therapists are really noticing about you in session. Then she walks through the attachment ladder, the four stages that explain why your therapist starts to feel like the only person who truly gets you, and closes with a complete checklist of healthy vs. unhealthy therapeutic relationship signs. TIMESTAMPS 0:00 What is the therapeutic relationship? 1:21 The #1 predictor of successful therapy 2:26 Q1: "I'm attached to my therapist and feel like a creep" 5:52 Attachment wounds: why your therapist fills the void 11:54 What your therapist is actually noticing in session 15:20 Q2: "I feel closer to my therapist than anyone in my life" 16:56 The attachment ladder: 4 stages of attaching to your therapist 23:13 Q3: "Therapy feels transactional and the care feels bought" 28:21 Why you need to put the phone down and just think 31:17 Q4: "My therapist rescheduled and I spiraled for days" 32:47 What a therapist's role actually is (and isn't) 35:25 Signs of a HEALTHY therapeutic relationship 42:17 Signs of an UNHEALTHY therapeutic relationship 49:08 Why boundaries in therapy matter so much 53:06 How to make sure therapy works for you THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY ⁠REBOUND⁠

Rebound offers virtual, evidence-based treatment for PTSD with trauma-specialist therapists, in-network with most major insurance plans in all 50 states. Check your insurance or get matched: Head to https://hellorebound.com/askkatianything to check your insurance or get matched with a therapist. RESEARCH & RESOURCES

Psychotherapy and Therapeutic Relationship https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK608012/ Perceived therapist genuineness predicts therapeutic alliance in cognitive behavioural therapy for psychosis https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjc.12059 The Relationship Between Attachment Needs, Earned Secure https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2025-18086-004.html Client and Therapist Attachment Styles and Working Alliance https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cpp.1944 The experience of closeness and distance in the therapeutic relationship of patients with different attachment classifications https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1029783/full

⁠⁠⁠ASK KATI YOUR QUESTION Leave your question in the comments below and it may be answered on an upcoming episode. MY BOOKS & WORKSHOPS https://katimorton.com THERAPY If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati - Enjoy 10% off your first month! (this is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you)SOCIALS

X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Main YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/katimorton?sub_confirmation=1 Apple https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ask-kati-anything/id1502476673 Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/7itqbvflj0Q9IUDqOF5NST Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] DISCLAIMER The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. #therapy #mentalhealth #katimorton Ask Kati Anything ep. 323 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

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Do you sleep enough and live a balanced life on paper, yet still feel completely wiped out by Tuesday? You aren't "bad at adulting"—your nervous system is likely dealing with an invisible, compounded burden.

In this episode, we break down the three overlapping systems that drive modern exhaustion: cognitive load from constant decision fatigue, emotional labor from managing the people around us, and threat system exhaustion caused by chronic hyper-vigilance. We also discuss why physical sleep cannot fix cognitive or emotional burnout, how perimenopause/menopause can stack onto these existing stressors, and why our modern "always-on" remote culture is making it harder to disconnect. Learn how to reclaim your energy by setting better boundaries, creating end-of-day rituals, and giving your brain the "boredom" it desperately needs to recover.

Mentioned in this episode:

• The impact of cognitive load and "context switching"

• Why "people pleasing" is a form of exhausting emotional labor

• Understanding threat system exhaustion and hyper-vigilance

• The role of hormone changes (estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone) in energy levels 


• Tips for creating effective end-of-day work/life boundaries

3 Key Topics/Chapters:

• 04:15: The Reality of Cognitive Load & Decision Fatigue

• 10:30: Why Emotional Labor and People Pleasing Drains You

• 19:14: Threat System Exhaustion: When Your Body Braces for Danger

Support Our Sponsors

• BiOptimizers - Heat and summer travel can deplete your body's magnesium, making it harder to recover and relax 👉 Get 15% off your entire order + a FREE travel-size bottle of Digestive Enzymes: ⁠https://bioptimizers.com/kati use code: KATI

• Rebound - Trauma doesn’t just fade on its own. If you’ve been hitting a wall in your life or relationships, Rebound offers virtual, evidence-based treatment from trauma specialists who are in-network with most major insurance plans. 👉 Check your insurance or get matched with a specialist: ⁠http://hellorebound.com/askkatianything

PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected]

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional therapy or medical advice.

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Have you ever felt like you’re trying so hard to communicate, but the harder you try, the more things seem to fall apart? Whether it’s that heavy feeling of being misunderstood, the exhausting cycle of the silent treatment, or the fear that you’re accidentally pushing the people you love away—I want you to know: you aren't broken.

Most of us are just running on a communication "blueprint" we didn't choose. In today’s episode, we’re peeling back the layers of why we fall into these traps. We’re talking about:

• Why "stonewalling" and passive aggression are actually defense mechanisms (not just "bad behavior").

• The difference between being "anxious" versus "avoidant" in a conflict.

• How to use the DEAR MAN technique to finally ask for what you need.

• Why "repairing" after a fight is actually more important than being perfect.

You don't have to be perfect to have a healthy relationship. You just need to be willing to learn a different way.

Episode Sponsor:

Reddit - Interested in finding a community that you really love and can trust? Download the Reddit app today!

Mentioned in this episode:

• Why Do I Keep Doing This?
• My Substack
• Gottman Institute Research on The Four Horsemen

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Why does your brain feel like it's working against you when you're depressed? In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton answers deep viewer questions to unpack what is actively happening in the body and brain during depressive episodes and periods of suicidal ideation.

We challenge the traditional "chemical imbalance" framework to look at the modern science of mental health: how different regions of the brain communicate, why your HPA axis can get stuck in a chronic stress response, and the clinical data pointing to systemic inflammation as a primary driver of depressive symptoms. Plus, Kati breaks down the absolute differences between clinical depression, situational sadness, grief, and passive vs. active suicidal thoughts.

What We Cover:

• The DSM-5 Checklist: The 9 diagnostic criteria for Major Depressive Disorder.

• The Serotonin Myth: Why modern psychiatric research is moving away from looking at single chemical levels.

• The Inflammation Connection: Active clinical trials utilizing anti-inflammatory pathways to treat mental health.

• Your Audio Action Plan: How to implement behavioral activation, circadian light exposure protocols, and cognitive tools to stop internal negative loops.

Special Thanks to Our Sponsor: Go to hellorebound.com/AskKatiAnything to check your insurance or get matched with a virtual trauma specialist today. Real, evidence-based trauma treatment is within reach.

If you are in immediate danger or experiencing a mental health crisis, please call or text 988 (US) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. In the UK, you can reach the Samaritans at 116 123. You do not have to fight this alone.

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Do you feel like you're spiraling when your heart starts racing? Kati Morton breaks down why your body is misinterpreting normal sensations as a threat and how you can break the loop.

In this episode of Ask Katie Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton explores the reality of panic disorder and why it feels so physically life-threatening. We discuss the seven stages of the panic loop, the "suffocation alarm" theory developed by Donald Klein, and why typical advice like "just breathe" can sometimes make anxiety worse. You'll learn specific, science-backed grounding techniques—including the temperature shock method, vagus nerve stimulation, and the "labeling" technique—to help you navigate moments of high intensity.

Episode Sponsors

• BiOptimizers - If you're ready to finally sleep great and feel like yourself again, head to https://bioptimizers.com/kati and use my exclusive code KATI to get 15% off any order.

• Reddit - Interested in finding a community that you really love and can trust? Download the Reddit app today!

• Rebound - Offering virtual treatment for PTSD. Rebound is not a general therapy app where trauma is just one checkbox. Their therapists are trauma specialists. Head to https://hellorebound.com/askkatianything to check your insurance or get matched with a therapist

Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction: Why Panic Feels Like Dying 00:36 - Defining Panic Disorder: DSM Criteria 04:59 - The Difference Between Panic & Anxiety Attacks 08:05 - Is Your Heart Fluttering Normal? 14:21 - The 7 Stages of the Panic Loop 19:16 - Why Fighting Panic Often Backfires 25:23 - The "Suffocation Alarm" Research 34:12 - Homework: Labeling Your Sensations 38:29 - Grounding Tools: Cold Water & Vagus Nerve 42:17 - Community Success Stories & Tips

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Welcome back to another episode of Ask Kati Anything! In this episode, we are testing out our new single-topic format and diving deep into a topic you requested: adult friendships.

Are your friendships truly fulfilling, or are you staying in them simply because they are familiar? As we get older, our social dynamics change drastically. Today, we are breaking down the psychological differences between connections that are healthy and those that are just comfortable... because comfortable doesn't always mean healthy.

• The Red Flags: How to spot an unhealthy friendship, including passive-aggressive digs disguised as "honesty," scorekeeping, loyalty tests, and a total lack of reciprocity.

• The Green Flags: What a healthy, mutually supportive friendship actually looks like, from conflict resolution and repair to being able to celebrate each other's wins.

• "Letting Out the Rope": A visualization tool to help you gracefully pull back from one-sided relationships without dramatic confrontation.

• Making Friends as an Adult: Actionable strategies to beat the loneliness epidemic using proximity, repetition, and the scientific "50-Hour Rule" to turn acquaintances into true friends.

• The Physical Toll of Ambivalence: Fascinating research from the University of Utah revealing how "ambivalent" friendships (people you have mixed positive and negative feelings about) cause higher cardiovascular stress and blood pressure spikes than consistently negative ones.

• 00:00 - Introduction: The Reality of Adult Friendships

• 02:24 - Is Your Friendship Healthy, or Just Comfortable?

• 05:33 - Spotting the Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

• 14:55 - Sponsor Break: Rebound

• 16:47 - The Green Flags: What True Connection Looks Like

• 25:59 - When to Stay vs. When to Walk Away

• 38:15 - Setting Realistic Expectations with Friends

• 45:55 - Actionable Tips for Making New Friends (The 50-Hour Rule)

• 54:12 - Psychological Research: How Ambivalent Friends Harm Your Health

Today's Sponsor:

This episode is brought to you by Rebound, offering virtual, evidence-based trauma treatment with specialized therapists. Rebound is in-network with most major insurance plans across all 50 states. You deserve a therapist who truly understands what you've been through. Go to hellorebound.com/askkatianything to check your insurance and get matched today!

Join the Conversation: What resonated with you the most in this episode? Do you have any friendship "green flags" to add? Let me know your thoughts and leave your questions for next week's episode in the comments below! Have a wonderful week, do your homework, and report back!

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On this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton is joined by globally recognized keynote speaker and wellness expert Alison Canavan. Alison is the creator of the Energy Bank Method, a framework built on the foundational belief that human energy—not time—is our absolute most valuable currency.

In this raw and insightful conversation, Alison shares her transformative journey through the high-pressure international modeling industry as a teenager, navigating addiction, recovering from severe burnout, and addressing systemic mental health challenges. Together, Kati and Alison pull back the curtain on generational family gaslighting and look closely at why so many of us grow up treating constant anxiety and hypervigilance as a badge of love. They unpack the toxic trap of learned compliance, look at the overlapping clinical symptoms of anxiety, ADHD, and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), and explain why passive family systems leave adults entirely blind to the process of proper conflict repair.

Tune in to discover how to stop playing an active role in your own ongoing suffering, how to shift from default nervous system reactivity into a state of presence, and how to rewrite your emotional blueprint using non-judgmental awareness.

Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything • Rebound - virtual treatment for PTSD. Please visit https://hellorebound.com/askkatianything • Reddit - Download the Reddit app today!

More Alison Caravan! https://alisoncanavan.com/

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Do you constantly over-do, over-give, and over-perform to "earn your keep" in your relationships? On this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton transitions to an all-new, single-topic format to take a deep, evidence-based dive into the world of over-functioning.

Through real community stories and personal reflections, Kati maps out the 6-stage cycle that leads from automatic over-giving straight into quiet resentment, eventual blowups, and toxic guilt. But this isn’t just an emotional burden. Kati shares fascinating, decades-spanning clinical research—including the concept of "unmitigated communion," a 7-year study following 1,340 couples, and a chilling 2022 medical study linking "self-silencing" directly to physical cardiovascular risks like carotid plaque.

If your body is carrying what your mouth refuses to say, it is time to break the loop. Tune in to get a clear, 4-step actionable framework to practice "deliberate under-functioning," express specific needs, and tolerate the discomfort of choosing growth over chronic exhaustion.

Chapters:

• 00:00 - A New Format for Ask Kati Anything

• 02:00 - What is Over-Functioning? Community Stories

• 04:00 - Fawning, People-Pleasing, and the Need to Feel Safe

• 07:40 - Earning Love: Kati’s Personal Story with Perfectionism

• 11:50 - The 6 Rungs of the Over-Functioning Cycle

• 22:02 - Episode sponsor message: BiOptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough - go to https://bioptimizers.com/kati and use code KATI for 15% off your entire order Plus a Free bottle of Masszymes

• 23:34 - Unmitigated Communion: When the Self Disappears

• 30:23 - The Relationship Trap: 7-Year Study of 1,340 Couples

• 35:36 - The Cardiovascular Cost of Self-Silencing

• 38:27 - Step 1: Identify Your Current Rung

• 40:34 - Step 2: Deliberate Under-Functioning

• 45:30 - Step 3: Make a Single, Specific Ask

• 49:15 - Step 4: Tolerate the Discomfort (Data vs. Danger)

• 52:43 - Next Week's Preview: Understanding Health Insurance

  
  

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it, leave your questions for next week's topic in the comments, and don't forget to subscribe!

Books

Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ

Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j

Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month)

While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati

PARTNERSHIPS

Nick Freeman | [email protected]

Disclaimer

The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us know what we should be doing. The harder question is why we can't actually do it. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Goldman joins Kati to talk about food noise, GLP-1s, cognitive behavioral therapy, and the small mindset shifts that change everything. Dr. Rachel is a clinical psychologist, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, and author of the new book When Life Happens. She specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy, stress, and the treatment of eating disorders and obesity, and she runs a private practice in New York City.

Today we talk about why your brain defaults to worst-case scenario (it's survival wiring, not a personal flaw), the one-word shift that interrupts all-or-nothing thinking, and the cognitive distortions quietly running your day. Dr. Rachel walks us through what food noise actually is and why some people genuinely don't have it, how GLP-1 medications are changing the conversation around eating disorders and obesity treatment, and what most people misunderstand about both. We get into why the body sends signals that get louder until you finally listen, why "finding balance" is setting you up to fail, and the reframe that finally helped Dr. Rachel stop cancelling on herself.

We also go personal: how a clinical psychologist talks to her own kids about mistakes, what's actually in her toolbox when life feels too heavy, and the moment that changed how she thinks about self-care.

If you've been doing the work, reading the books, going to therapy, and still feel like you can't get traction, this conversation gives you a place to start that doesn't require overhauling your life.

Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything

• BiOptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough — Go to bioptimizers.com/kati and use code KATI for 15% off your entire order, plus a FREE bottle of MassZymes
• Reddit — Download the Reddit app today!

Chapters
(0:00) Why you keep starting over (1:30) Why she wrote this book (4:18) What a mindset shift looks like (6:00) All-or-nothing thinking (8:30) The one small thing rule (12:02) Worst-case scenario thinking (14:30) The thoughts running your day (16:13) When therapists share personal stuff (18:30) Did training prepare her for motherhood? (24:00) Working in obesity treatment (30:00) GLP-1s and food noise explained (37:20) Dance, eating disorders, the wake-up (42:30) Your body is sending signals (44:30) Managing a book launch and two kids (48:00) The Casey Neistat self-care moment (52:20) Why finding balance fails (55:00) Poker chips and resilience (58:30) What she hopes her kids learn (1:02:30) Dr. Rachel's three tools (1:04:30) Where to find Dr. Rachel

Dr. Rachel's book When Life Happens is out now: whenlifehappensbook.com
Find Dr. Rachel on Instagram: @drrachelnyc

More from Kati YouTube: youtube.com/c/katimorton Instagram: @katimorton

Kati's Books
Why Do I Keep Doing This? geni.us/XoyLSQ
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? geni.us/sva4iUY

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What do you do when your relationship is hard but you can't tell if it's worth saving, or when your trauma history makes your instincts feel unreliable? This week on Ask Kati Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton, LMFT, answers seven listener questions about the moments when everything feels overwhelming and you can't tell what's the relationship, what's the depression, and what's the trauma talking.

Topics in this episode include: when to stay in a relationship versus when to leave, BPD and people pleasing, complex PTSD and attachment wounds, fear of abandonment, codependency, starting therapy when you have bulimia, non-suicidal self-injury, and dissociation, grounding techniques for flashbacks, what healthy love actually looks like, why depression breakthrough symptoms make you feel empty after good experiences, shame spirals and how vulnerability snuffs shame out (Brené Brown's research), rumination, behavioral activation, recovering motivation after emotional burnout, finding yourself again after trauma, inner child work and writing letters to your younger self, and how to respond to unsolicited advice without building resentment.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:56 When to stay vs leave a relationship, attachment, BPD, complex PTSD

12:00 Starting therapy with bulimia, BPD, self-harm, and dissociation

19:00 What healthy love really looks like

25:11 Feeling empty after going out, depression breakthrough symptoms

28:39 Shame spirals, rumination, and Brené Brown on vulnerability

34:25 Lack of motivation after burnout, becoming yourself after trauma

40:56 Inner child work, writing letters to your younger self

45:21 Unsolicited advice and how to respond

Submit your question: https://www.youtube.com/@Katimorton/community

Follow Kati on Instagram: @katimorton

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