Do you feel like you are always doing all the heavy lifting in your marriage?
I am so excited to share this week's conversation with you.
I had the joy and honor of being a guest on the Money, Manifestation, and Business podcast with my friend, former life coaching client, and brilliant coach Jamie Berman.
We had a deep conversation about navigating money and manifestation in your relationships. And when I say manifestation, it's really just about managing different values and approaches, no matter what you're talking about with your partner.
In this episode, Jamie and I dive into my Soul-Centered Communication framework — Solution-focused, Open-hearted, Uncomplicated, and Loving.
We talk about stress cycles and how to recognize when you're in fight, flight, freeze, or appease mode. And we explore the concept of psychological safety and how to create it in your money conversations.
This conversation is practical, strategic, and will shift how you approach not just money conversations, but all the harder conversations in your marriage.
Here is the scoop on what's included —
✨ Episode at a Glance
The Soul-Centered Communication framework: Solution-focused, Open-hearted, Uncomplicated, Loving
Why our entire life happens inside of a conversation
The three elements of connected conversations
How to recognize stress cycles: fight, flight, freeze, appease
Why someone saying "yes" but never following through is actually a stress response (not lying)
What psychological safety is and why it matters in money conversations
How the words we use create and inspire feelings and results
The difference between "we have a problem" vs. "we have an opportunity"
Why loving yourself equally matters in conversations about money
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Today we're talking about something that might sound really simple, but is actually one of the most revolutionary acts you can practice in your marriage and your life—receiving.
Not just accepting or tolerating, but actually receiving love, help, pleasure, appreciation, and support. How do we actually receive the things we long for?
This is something I've noticed in my work with smart, strategic women who are deeply committed to their marriages—the ones who've mastered achievement in every other area but find themselves craving connection they don't quite know how to let in.
We've been culturally trained to give, to over-give, to anticipate everyone else's needs before our own.
And then we find ourselves craving connection, but not feeling fully equipped to let it in.
As I was preparing for this episode, I thought about: What if the marriage you want is actually the marriage you're allowing yourself to receive? That is a question I have never asked myself before and I think it is worth pondering.
In this episode, I'm joined by the brilliant Dr. Shideh Shafie. She is a board-certified emergency physician and a high-performance coach who helps leaders live and lead without breaking.
Today, she's here to talk about why receiving is actually a nervous system skill. It's not a personality trait. It's a skill we can build.
We're exploring why receiving is a practice you can build and how this practice can transform not just your marriage, but your entire life.
Here is the scoop on what's included -
✨ Episode at a Glance
Why receiving is a nervous system skill you can build (not a personality trait)
What happens in your body when you try to receive and why it feels uncomfortable
The "deflect and diminish" pattern women do automatically
How to practice "toning the muscle" of receiving
The simple phrase that changes everything: "Thank you, I receive that"
Why you need to receive from yourself first before you can receive from others
How to become conscious of what you actually want to receive (not what you're told to want)
Why your partner can't play every role in the movie of your life
The difference between disappointment and something being wrong
How grief is actually the natural progression of love
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Follow Dr. Shideh on Instagram: @shideh.shafie
Visit Dr. Shideh's website: www.shidehshafie.com
This is part two of our two-part series on understanding divorce. We're getting really strategic in this episode with Lauren Fair—a divorce attorney with 16 years of experience AND a master certified life and divorce coach.
I recorded this interview because I think as a society, we are woefully under-educated on how divorce actually works. The actual nuts and bolts of the process.
Here's the thing: whether you're actually going through a divorce OR you're happily married and never want one, understanding how the process works is incredibly empowering.
Because we are socialized as women to not pay attention to the law part of things, the fine print that governs our lives and our marriages.
Understanding all the different structures for divorce, whether for your own education or to support a friend or family member will help you in ways we may not know today, but I am trusting that having this resource will be so important and I am so proud to share it with you.
In this episode I'm joined by the brilliant Lauren Fair as she puts her lawyer hat on and teaches us some simple law things about the different structures we can use and why to use them and why not to use them.
What makes her approach so aligned with my values is that she sees divorce not as a failure but sometimes being one of the most self-honoring choices a woman can make.
From my philosophy, even if you've decided to stay in your marriage, it's still super useful to understand what the heck is divorce and how it works.
Because everything you need in your marriage you will also need in your divorce—conflict resolution skills, emotional management, strategic communication.
It may be that understanding divorce will motivate you to try really hard one last time or it may open a door in your mind that tells you, it's okay to make this choice from an informed and grounded place.
So we're getting practical in this episode.
We talk about exit plans, the strategic advantage of working with a divorce coach (a relatively new discipline that is growing and helping everyone have better outcomes), and we also talk about safety—financial safety and emotional safety.
This conversation is your permission to get educated, get empowered, and make whatever choice serves your highest good.
If you haven't heard episode one in this series, we will link to that episode in the show notes so you can hear both of them together.
Here is the scoop on what's included -
✨ Episode at a Glance
What an exit plan is and why knowing your options frees you from feeling trapped
How everything you need in your marriage you will also need in your divorce
Why your first call should be to a divorce coach (not an attorney)
The different divorce options: mediation, collaborative divorce, litigation, and "kitchen table" divorce
Why mediation gives you the most control over your outcome
When mediation isn't appropriate and what to consider instead
How grief shows up in divorce (even when you're the one who wanted it)
Why the way your partner showed up in the marriage is likely how they'll show up in the divorce
The importance of building your village: divorce coach, attorney, financial planner, therapist
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episode 76: Trauma, Resourcing & Windows of Tolerance with Shelby Leigh
Follow Lauren @sensiblesplitdivorce
Visit Lauren's website: https://faircadora.com/sensiblesplit/
Listen to her podcast: The Sensible Split
I have a very special two-part series starting with this episode. We're doing a deep dive on how to prepare and how to think about divorce.
And I think as a society, we are woefully under-educated on how divorce actually works.
Here's the thing: as a marriage coach, one of the things that can strengthen your relationship the most is understanding the nuances of ending it. When we understand what it takes to stay AND what it takes to leave, it helps empower us for any choice we make.
In this episode I'm joined by Lauren Fair—a divorce attorney with 16 years of experience AND a master certified divorce coach.
What makes her approach so aligned with my values is that she sees divorce not as a failure but sometimes being one of the most self-honoring choices a woman can make.
Choosing to end a relationship can be a healthy, powerful growth experience, and the collective cultural narrative we have that still shames divorce in a variety of ways is something I hope these 2 episodes contribute to changing.
This conversation is your permission to get educated, get empowered, and make whatever choice serves your highest good.
We also start with a segment on how to support a friend going through a divorce which I think is so important as well so no matter where you are in your relationship journey right now, I think you will find something useful in this 2 part series.
Here is the scoop on what's included -
✨ Episode at a Glance
How to be a supportive friend when someone you love is going through divorce
Why understanding divorce options empowers you whether you're staying or leaving
The three common mistakes women make when hiring an attorney from an emotionally activated place
Why you want strategic, not "shark," legal representation
How to manage your attorney (yes, you need to manage them)
The difference between full scope representation and other options
Why the moment you deliver the news matters more than you think
How the divorce conversation begins determines the entire trajectory of the divorce
Why you should never use the word "divorce" until your bags are packed
The importance of slowing down when everything feels urgent
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Follow Lauren @sensiblesplitdivorce
Visit Lauren's website: https://faircadora.com/sensiblesplit/
Listen to her podcast: The Sensible Split
I recently sat down with Emily Reuschel on her Wild and Waking podcast to talk about something I call the growth gap. What happens when one partner outpaces the other in personal development work?
It was such a great conversation that I wanted to share it here with you too, because this is such a common pattern I see with my clients. Here's the thing: you've been reading all the books, listening to podcasts just like this one, doing all the inner work - because of course you have, and maybe your partner chooses to evolve differently than you.
And that gap, that difference in growth pace and in growth focus, can feel incredibly isolating and frustrating. But what if I told you that the growth gap isn't the actual problem? What if the real issue is what you're doing with that gap?
Emily and I dive deep into why personal growth can actually create more tension in your relationship at first, and then what to do about it. The counterintuitive truth about why your partner's lack of interest in therapy or coaching or a workshop might not be the deal breaker that you think it is. How to stop turning your relationship into a project you're trying to fix. The power of leading from your side of the street without carrying the whole emotional load.
This is one of those episodes where you really want to grab your journal and maybe listen to it once and then go back and take notes because we're going to be practical, we're going to be strategic, and of course we're going to be soulful and have fun all at the same time.
✨ Episode at a Glance
What the growth gap is and why it happens when one partner evolves and the other resists change
The "Power of One" framework and how one person's transformation can shift the entire relationship
Why the mindset of "I go first" changes everything
The difference between your partner being scared vs. thinking growth is dumb (and why it matters)
How to communicate your insights without triggering defensiveness
Why asking for consent before sharing what you learned is essential
The concept of do-overs and how one client's family transformed it into "rewinds"
How men and women process differently (and why understanding this helps)
When to adjust your expectations vs. when it's time to call it
Why quality matters more than length in relationships
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Laura Jurgens to talk about something I have very strong feelings about: polarity. If you've been out in the internet wilderness hearing about masculine-feminine energy and how you need to lean into it to create spark in your marriage, and you're getting a weird vibe about it—you're not alone.
A couple years ago, my husband and I took a virtual retreat on this exact topic with a well-renowned teacher. And I had the most visceral experience of probably disgust I've ever had in a teaching setting. The class promoted things like agency and consent in the description, but the structure was the opposite—repressive, oppressive, and the exact opposite of choice.
Ever since then, I've been a hard no on teaching polarity in my programs. But then I found Laura's podcast episode on this topic and it was like finding a Coca-Cola in the desert. She brings the nuance, the research, and the practical wisdom about when polarity can work without causing harm—and when it's just patriarchy disguised as spirituality.
We talk about the mix of deep and fun that I love, and we're going to tell you exactly when this approach can be helpful and when it becomes harmful.
Episode at a Glance
What polarity actually is (and why it's everywhere right now)
Why the masculine-feminine framework often reinforces harmful gender stereotypes
How polarity can damage women's agency and men's emotional vulnerability
The five criteria for when polarity can work without causing harm
Why high-achieving women often fantasize about being dominated (and what that actually means)
The difference between healthy dom/sub dynamics and repackaged patriarchy
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Visit Laura's website: https://laurajurgens.com/
Laura's Instagram: @laura.juergens.coach
In this greatest hits episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, I'm resharing one of my most important episodes for the long-term health of your marriage: teams versus alliances.
This framework explains why some marriages thrive for decades while others dissolve—and gives you specific tools to strengthen yours starting today.
Here's what made this especially timely: Oprah recently did a whole podcast episode on gray divorce (which has tripled for people 65+ since 1990). I've been talking about this phenomenon since 2016, and honestly? It made me do a little happy dance to see this conversation going mainstream. Because the more you understand what's driving gray divorce, the more you can prevent it in your own future.
In this episode, I share updated research on gray divorce, then dive into the original framework about what separates marriages that stay strong from those that quietly drift apart.
You'll discover:
The exact difference between a team and an alliance (you'll immediately know which one you are)
Why teams create happiness and resilience while alliances eventually run out of reasons to stay together
Three mindset shifts to build more team spirit in your marriage
Ready to make your marriage not just functional, but five-star? Let's dive in.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
In this episode, I sit down with Ali Ryan, a trauma-informed embodiment coach and clinical nurse hypnotist, to talk about something we don't discuss enough: friend breakups.
I just went through one myself, and even as a relationship coach, I needed support and guidance, so I was up at 1 am googling, what are the steps in Conscious Uncoupling? And they were SO HELPFUL!
I share some of my process in my conversation with Ali and was so delighted to hear her insights!
On this episode, we explore conscious uncoupling (not just for romantic relationships!), how to have what I call a "loving ending" that honors the past while acknowledging when something needs to end, and why we don't have to make someone right or wrong when a relationship evolves.
This conversation is for anyone navigating the end of a friendship and wanting to do it with grace, integrity, and love.
✨ Episode at a Glance
What conscious uncoupling really means beyond the buzzword
Why we need to normalize talking about friend breakups
The five steps of conscious uncoupling and how they apply to friendships
How to stay out of survival brain when a relationship needs to end
Why our society conditions us to be unconscious in both coupling and uncoupling
The power of allowing relationships to evolve without making anyone wrong
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ali's Instagram: @ali_ryan__
Ali's Website: www.aliryancoaching.com
Katherine Woodward Thomas (creator of Conscious Uncoupling framework)
In this milestone 200th episode, I sit down with licensed therapist and sex educator Tia Conway to talk about why pleasure actually matters, especially for those of us who've spent our whole lives prioritizing productivity over feeling good.
Tia shares her definition of pleasure, why it's not selfish or indulgent, and how giving yourself permission to enjoy your life transforms everything. We talk about the difference between aesthetic pleasure and embodied pleasure, why we resist good feelings, and how to create more joy without waiting for the perfect moment.
✨ Episode at a Glance
Why pleasure isn't hedonism or laziness—it's essential for operating effectively
The difference between aesthetic pleasure (looking good) and embodied pleasure (feeling good)
How to bring pleasure to mundane tasks (yes, even grocery shopping)
Why high-achievers resist pleasure and how to reclaim permission
The connection between pleasure and reducing relational conflict
Practical ways to increase pleasure capacity in your marriage
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Connect with Tia on Instagram @pleasureandpeacewithtia
This week's episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast is something special. I'm joined by my emotional support Canadian (yes, really!) and fellow coach Crystal Thompson, and we're diving into a book that touched both our hearts: Ordinary Mysticism: Your Life as Sacred Ground by Mirabai Starr.
If you've ever wanted to feel more connected—spiritually, emotionally, relationally—but didn't quite know how, this conversation is for you. We talk about finding sacredness in everyday life, receiving love when it feels hard, and why awe and gratitude can change everything, especially in long-term relationships.
There's laughter. There's depth. There's even a moment that made me cry on the mic.
✨ Episode at a Glance
Why the word mysticism can feel scary—and how to reclaim it
What sacred ground actually looks like in everyday life
How awe + gratitude fuel connection (and soften resentment)
The neuroscience of wonder, and why it matters in marriage
What Mirabai Starr, Richard Rohr, and Mary of Guadalupe have in common
The real-life moment I almost deflected a miracle
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Connect with Crystal on Instagram @crystalruthcoaching
If you feel like you're exhausted and angry all the time, you're probably treating every frustration like a crisis. In this greatest hits episode, I'm teaching you The Anger Scale - a simple but powerful tool that helps you stop reacting to dirty socks the same way you'd react to unpaid bills.
I'll share:
Why we treat anger like an on/off switch (and why that's exhausting)
The story of when I completely lost it at my bank (Cuban-ity unleashed!)
How to rate your anger on a 1-10 scale and why this changes everything
How to decide ahead of time what's worth your energy
The 15-minute rule that prevents explosions
How to stop being angry all the time and actually enjoy your marriage
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
📖 Questions for Couples Journal My bestselling journal with conversation starters to deepen connection in your marriage
🎓 The Growth Gap Workshop (FREE) Free on-demand training for high-achieving women who are growing while their partner stands still
💎 Private Coaching with Maggie: Work with me 1:1 to create more clarity, power, and love in your marriage
✨ The Marriage Mindset Makeover: Self-study program with all my best tools and frameworks for transforming your marriage