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The Topical

Sony Music

  • 15 minutes 54 seconds
    The Final Episode Of The Topical

    Leslie Price returns from a months-long investigation to serve as host of America’s only daily news podcast one last time.

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    20 May 2021, 9:00 am
  • 9 minutes 52 seconds
    Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce

    Hear why PETA is coming to the defense of these over-bread monstrosities that exist for the sole purpose of having fresh tomato paste extracted from their many teat-like protuberances.

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    5 February 2021, 10:00 am
  • 8 minutes 2 seconds
    Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird

    It looks dirty, and it’s doing a weird thing with its wings. Hear why it would be best if you just didn’t go near it.

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    4 February 2021, 10:00 am
  • 9 minutes 50 seconds
    Nation’s Arborists Once Again Urge Congress To Lower The Age Of Consent For Trees

    Hear why these arborists believe that if the fruit’s on the ground, it’s ready to pound.

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    3 February 2021, 10:00 am
  • 9 minutes 19 seconds
    Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted

    Plus, from royalty to recluse, we’ll sit down with a former prom king who now lives anonymously among the commoners.

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    2 February 2021, 10:00 am
  • 8 minutes 12 seconds
    Team Of Vatican Geneticists Successfully Clone God

    It’s an awe-inspiring scientific advancement, but is it ethical? Hear why critics say these geneticists shouldn’t be playing God on God by making God.

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    1 February 2021, 10:00 am
  • 8 minutes 31 seconds
    Nation’s Hypnotists Announce You Are Now Under Their Command

    Hear why, when they snap their fingers, you will make the sound a donkey makes.

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    29 January 2021, 10:00 am
  • 8 minutes 48 seconds
    Deer Shot By Obsessed Fan

    Hear why authorities now believe the suspect stalked the 4-year-old buck for several hours before shooting him in the chest.

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    28 January 2021, 10:00 am
  • 8 minutes 34 seconds
    Dept. Of Homeland Security: ‘Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?’

    Hear why scrambling DHS officials are calling the missing folder “no big deal,” but they would really like to find it.

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    27 January 2021, 10:00 am
  • 9 minutes 10 seconds
    Fun Toy Banned Because Of 3 Stupid Dead Kids

    And they weren’t even playing with it right. Hear why these dead children apparently thought it would be a good idea to ruin the fun for everyone else.

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    26 January 2021, 10:00 am
  • 8 minutes 47 seconds
    Congress Investigating Why Capitol Dome’s Atomic Vaporizing Ray Wasn’t Deployed To Eviscerate Rioters

    Hear why Congress is still looking for answers as to why this crucial defense system wasn’t used to melt rioters’ eyeballs right out of their skulls and incinerate their bodies instantly.

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    25 January 2021, 10:00 am
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