If you’ve ever wondered “Do I actually matter?” — not in a motivational-poster way, but in the deep, existential, 3am-staring-at-the-ceiling way — this episode is for you.

In this powerful conversation, Nicole Kalil sits down with Rebecca Neuberger Goldstein, award-winning philosopher and author of The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us, to unpack one of the most fundamental human needs: the need to matter.

Together, they explore why mattering may be even more essential than happiness, how our desire to matter shapes our lives, relationships, and conflicts, and why the pressure to prove our worth often leads to comparison, competition, and division. Rebecca introduces the concept of “mattering projects” — the deeply personal ways we justify our lives to ourselves — and why there is no single “right” way to matter.

This episode challenges the idea that mattering is loud, performative, or scarce, and reframes it as an inside-out experience rooted in integrity, connection, and self-justification — not productivity, perfection, or approval.

💥 What we cover:

• Why the need to matter may be more fundamental than the need to be happy

• The difference between fleeting happiness and long-term flourishing

• What a “mattering project” is — and how to recognize yours

• Why comparison and competition distort our sense of worth

• How mattering becomes dangerous when treated as a zero-sum game

• Why the person you most need to matter to… is you

• How women have been taught to confuse usefulness with worth

• The ethical guardrail: you matter and so does everyone else

Mattering isn’t about being extraordinary, productive, or universally admired — it’s about living in alignment with what you can justify to yourself. You matter not because you prove it, but because you’re here, shaping lives through how you live, lead, and relate.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Rebecca

Website: https://rebeccagoldstein.com/ 

Book: https://rebeccagoldstein.com/the-mattering-instinct/ 

Substack: https://rebeccanewbergergoldstein.substack.com/ 

Related Podcast Episodes:

• Finding Purpose Through Human Design with Emma Dunwoody | 228
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• Big Trust Energy: How to Build Self-Trust When Self-Doubt Won’t Shut Up with Dr. Shadé Zahrai | 380

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For decades, we were sold a lie: get good grades, be smart, keep climbing—and success will magically follow. But in a world of nonstop disruption, AI, political chaos, and careers that don’t come with ladders anymore, IQ and EQ alone aren’t cutting it.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Liz Tran, executive coach, former venture capitalist, and author of AQ: A New Kind of Intelligence for a World That’s Always Changing, to unpack the intelligence that actually determines who thrives when everything keeps shifting: AQ (Agility Quotient).

AQ isn’t about being perfect, flexible to the point of burnout, or endlessly accommodating. It’s about how well you adapt to change, uncertainty, and the unknown—without losing yourself in the process. Liz breaks down the four AQ archetypes (Firefighter, Novelist, Astronaut, Neurosurgeon), how proactive vs. reactive change impacts your life and career, and why adaptability is no longer optional—it’s survival.

This conversation will change how you think about intelligence, leadership, confidence, and what it really takes to succeed when the rules keep changing mid-game.

Bottom line: Intelligence isn’t just what you know—it’s how you respond when what you know stops working.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Liz

Website: https://liz-tran.com/  

Book: https://liz-tran.com/#aq 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/liztranwrites/

Quiz: https://liz-tran.com/#quiz

LI: linkedin.com/in/liztran1 

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• Unlocking Your Hidden Genius: How to Harness Your Innate Talents with Betsy Wills & Alex Ellison | Ep. 289
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The health and wellness industry loves to tell women they’re broken — and then sell them the fix. In this unfiltered and slightly unhinged solo episode, Nicole Kalil calls out wellness culture for what it too often is: rebranded diet culture, influencer-led misinformation, and shame dressed up as self-care.

From green juice guilt to inflammation fear-mongering to TikTok experts blaming women for their own illnesses, Nicole takes aim at an industry that claims to prioritize longevity and quality of life — while obsessing over looking younger, smaller, and more “acceptable.” She shares her own expensive experiments with wellness trends, what actually helped, what didn’t, and why one-size-fits-all solutions are a massive red flag.

This episode is a permission slip to trust your body, question the algorithm, and stop outsourcing your health decisions to people with discount codes and zero accountability. Because real wellness isn’t about perfection — it’s about agency, discernment, and self-trust.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Nicole:

Subscribe to Nicole’s Substack: https://nicolekalil.substack.com/ 

Join the Inner Circle: https://nicolekalil.myflodesk.com/newsletter 

Related Podcast Episode:

• Yell for Help | Unfiltered & Unhinged
• Ask the Damn Question | Unfiltered & Unhinged

Share the Love:

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If meetings are draining your energy, killing momentum, and stealing your calendar — you’re not imagining it. They’re broken. And they’re costing us trillions.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole is joined by Dr. Rebecca Hinds, organizational behavior expert, Stanford PhD, and author of Your Best Meeting Ever, to expose why meetings are one of the most expensive, overlooked products inside any organization — and how to fix them.

We get into:

• Why bad meetings are literally an old-school sabotage tactic (thanks, WWII)

• The real cost of ineffective meetings — and who pays the highest price

• The 4D CEO Test for deciding if a meeting should exist at all

• Why status updates don’t belong in meetings (ever)

• The science behind why meetings over 8 people stop working

• How to measure meetings by return on time invested

• Why you don’t need fewer meetings — you need better ones

• And how to influence meetings even when you’re not the one in charge

This conversation is part wake-up call, part permission slip, and part playbook for anyone done pretending “this is just how work works.”

Meetings aren’t neutral. They shape culture, power, and whose work gets seen — so if your meetings are broken, your organization is too. The good news? You don’t need more authority to change them — just more intention.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Rebecca

Website: https://www.rebeccahinds.com/ 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-hinds/ 

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Talking about sex shouldn’t feel like a performance review you didn’t prepare for — and yet, for so many women, it does. In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil gets publicly uncomfortable (on purpose) to talk about what we’re really craving when it comes to sex — not hotter, not louder, not more performative… but healthier.

Joined by internationally renowned human sexuality professor and author Dr. Nicole McNichols, this conversation cuts through cultural noise, outdated scripts, and unrealistic expectations around women’s desire. Together, they unpack why exhaustion, mental overload, hormonal shifts, and decades of conditioning disconnect women from their bodies — and how to rebuild a sex life rooted in honesty, agency, and pleasure.

This episode isn’t about doing more or trying harder. It’s about unlearning shame, understanding your body, honoring your evolving needs, and creating a roadmap for sex that works for you — at every stage of life.

What We Cover:

• Why “hotter sex” is the wrong goal — and what healthier sex actually looks like

• The mental load, exhaustion, and emotional labor killing desire (and what to do about it)

• Dr. McNichols’ Hierarchy of Sexual Needs and why pleasure starts internally

• Getting out of your head and back into your body (hello, sexual mindfulness)

• Mismatched libidos, desire discrepancies, and how to stop making them mean something’s wrong

• When curiosity, communication, and consent unlock deeper connection

Healthy sex isn’t about performance, frequency, or checking boxes — it’s about presence, permission, and pleasure that evolves with you. When women reclaim agency over their bodies and desires, connection deepens, shame loosens its grip, and intimacy becomes something we get to experience — not something we’re expected to perform.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Dr. Nicole McNichols:

Book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/You-Could-Be-Having-Better-Sex/Nicole-McNichols/9781668053775 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_thesexprofessor/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nicole_thesexprofessor

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• How To Listen When Your Parts Speak (IFS Therapy + Ancestral Wisdom) with Tamala Floyd | 376

Share the Love:

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If you’ve ever turned a simple request into a full-blown production — congratulations, you’re one of us. In this short, unfiltered episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil shares a painfully relatable story involving kindergarten, lasagna, glitter, and a catastrophic failure to ask a clarifying question.

This episode is a reminder (and a loving call-out) for all the women who default to over-functioning, over-planning, and over-complicating things that were never meant to be that deep. Sometimes the bravest, smartest move isn’t doing more — it’s asking the damn question.

Because clarity beats chaos. And noodles in a box beat four trays of lasagna.

If you’re spiraling over something that feels way harder than it should be, this episode will hit you right in the overachiever feels. A funny, human reminder that better communication — and one simple question — can save you a whole lot of unnecessary stress.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/pd2550-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Nicole:

Subscribe to Nicole’s Substack: https://nicolekalil.substack.com/ 

Join the Inner Circle: https://nicolekalil.myflodesk.com/newsletter 

Related Podcast Episode

• Yell for Help | Unfiltered & Unhinged

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If you’ve ever wondered how some people build businesses that last—this episode is your blueprint.

Nicole sits down with Neri Karra-Silliman (author, advisor, entrepreneur, and Oxford entrepreneurship expert) to unpack what immigrant entrepreneurs can teach all of us about confidence, courage, resilience, and creating businesses that thrive for generations—even when you’re not starting with privilege, connections, or a trust fund.

In this episode, we get into:

• Why immigrant-founded businesses often endure longer—and why nobody’s been asking the right questions

• The difference between an entrepreneur and a pioneer (hint: pioneers build what didn’t exist before)

• How companies like WhatsApp and Duolingo started with impact-first problems 

• The 8 principles of business longevity inspired by immigrant entrepreneurs, including:

  • Cross-cultural bridging (innovation happens when you live in more than one world)

  • Community as currency (relationships are the wealth)

  • “Frying in your own oil” (aka self-sufficiency before outside money makes you lazy)

  • Shared values over growth-at-all-costsRejection as fuel (“no” is the beginning of negotiation)

  • Luck as a skill (recognizing moments and playing your hand)

  • Faith as the foundation for risk, reinvention, and resilience

  • And the most overlooked glue of all: kindness

Immigrants aren’t the problem—they’re the blueprint. This conversation will change how you think about risk, reinvention, and what it really takes to build something that lasts (with profit and purpose).

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/pd2550-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Neri:

Website: https://www.nerikarrasillaman.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Pioneers-Principles-Longevity-Immigrant-Entrepreneurs/dp/1394304056/ref= 

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Fun and work in the same sentence? For most of us, that’s a “does not compute” moment… and that’s exactly why this conversation matters.

Workplace culture expert Bree Groff (author of Today Was Fun: A Book About Work. Seriously.) breaks down why we’ve been trained to treat joy like it’s “unprofessional,” why busyness is murdering brilliance, and how to start building workplaces (and workdays) that are actually fit for human life.

In this episode, we get into:

• Why “hard” doesn’t automatically mean “valuable” (and why we need to stop romanticizing suffering)

• The two toxic extremes:

  • “Work is called work for a reason” (aka: misery cosplay)

  • “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day” (aka: burnout bait)

• Bree’s “third way”: work can be a nice way to spend our time on the planet—not a daily punishment

• Why people don’t buy your work because you suffered—they buy it because it creates value (pain is optional)

• The “infinite workday” problem: nonstop meetings, constant interruptions, and zero space to think

• Why brilliance requires spaciousness: “do nothing” time, thinking time, walking time, shower-epiphany time

• How conformity kills creativity (and why “professionalism” can be a creativity straightjacket)

• The case against delayed gratification when it turns into: “I’ll live later” (spoiler: later is not guaranteed)

Wrap-up: Work doesn’t have to be miserable to be meaningful—and if your job demands your whole life in exchange for a paycheck, that’s not ambition… that’s a bad deal wearing a blazer.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/pd2550-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Bree:

Website: https://www.breegroff.com/home 

Book: https://www.breegroff.com/book 

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Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!

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Women’s bodies get endlessly analyzed from the outside… while our internal health gets treated like an optional group project nobody studied for. Cool cool cool.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil goes deep on the perimenopause/menopause mess: the years of brain fog, 3 a.m. wake-ups, mood swings, weight gain, and the medical equivalent of a shrug. Enter Dr. Sarah Daccarett, hormone specialist and aging expert, to explain why so many women are confused, dismissed, and exhausted—and why hormone replacement therapy (HRT) should be viewed as foundational health support, not a “last resort once you’re fully miserable.”

What We Cover

• Why most women (including doctors) are confused about perimenopause + HRT—and why that’s not your fault

• The “natural” misconception: why Sarah argues HRT can be more natural than the supplement aisle

• Why waiting for hot flashes is like waiting for your car to explode before you change the oil

• Hormones as the “CEO of the body”: brain, bones, metabolism, sleep, libido, digestion—ALL of it

• The real problem with “just fix your gut / cortisol / diet” advice when your hormones are the actual root issue

• PCOS, insulin resistance, and why “just lose weight” advice can be straight-up useless

• Why hormone testing can be wildly unreliable—and why symptoms still matter

• Medical gaslighting: how women lose trust in themselves when the system keeps minimizing them

If you’ve been white-knuckling your way through perimenopause symptoms, you’re not weak—you’re under-supported. Better info + better care isn’t “extra,” it’s the bare minimum.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/WOMANSWORK with code WOMANSWORK — and if you get a post-purchase survey, mention you heard about Cure here to help support the show! 

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/pd2550-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Sarah:

Website: www.innerbalance.com

$50 off Discount code: PODCASTDRSARAH

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Share the Love:

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If you’ve ever waited to “feel confident” before you take the leap… congratulations, you’ve been scammed by your own brain. In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil goes full confidence-nerd (with the occasional rant) with Dr. Shadé Zahrai—behavioral researcher, peak performance educator, and author of Big Trust—to expose what confidence actually is, why self-doubt doesn’t disappear, and how to build real self-trust that holds up when life gets messy.

What we get into:

• Why confidence isn’t the opposite of self-doubt (and why that myth keeps you stuck)

• The thing you actually need first: self-trust / Big Trust—backing yourself before the outcome is guaranteed

• How “failure” can build confidence if you stop making it mean you are a failure

• The self-image trap (including a wild scar study that proves your brain will invent reality if you let it)

• The Four A’s of Big Trust: Acceptance, Agency, Autonomy, Adaptability (aka the internal upgrades your confidence has been begging for)

• The 4 Inner Deceivers (and the bonus villain):

  • The Classic Judge (never impressed, always loud)

  • The Misguided Protector (aka fear dressed up as “logic”)

  • The Ringmaster (grind culture’s toxic BFF)

  • The Neglector (everyone else first… until you break)

  • The Victimizer (outsourcing your power like it’s a hobby)

If self-doubt is showing up, it doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human and doing something that matters. Build Big Trust, take the step anyway, and let confidence catch up like it always does.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/WOMANSWORK with code WOMANSWORK — and if you get a post-purchase survey, mention you heard about Cure here to help support the show! 

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/pd2550-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Shadé :

Website: https://www.shadezahrai.com/ 

Book: https://www.shadezahrai.com/bigtrust?utm_source=chatgpt.com 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/shadezahrai/ 

LI: https://th.linkedin.com/in/shadezahrai?trk=public_post_feed-actor-name 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shadezahrai?lang=en 

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/shadezahrai 

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Share the Love:

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We need to talk about asking for help — and not the polite, over-explained, apologetic version most of us were taught.

In this unfiltered and slightly unhinged mini-episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil shares a courtside lesson she learned from a group of middle school girls playing basketball — and honestly, they’re doing teamwork, boundaries, and support better than most adults.

When these girls get caught on defense, they don’t spiral, minimize, or pretend they’ve got it handled. They yell “HELP! HELP! HELP!” loudly, clearly, and without shame — fully expecting their teammates to show up. And guess what? They do.

No judgment. No scorekeeping. No martyrdom.

This episode is a reminder that burnout isn’t a badge of honor, doing it all alone isn’t strength, and asking for help early is one of the smartest, strongest things you can do. Because life, love, leadership — it’s all a team sport.

And around here? We answer when someone yells for help. That’s woman’s work.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/pd2550-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass.

Connect with Nicole:

Subscribe to Nicole’s Substack: https://nicolekalil.substack.com/ 

Join the Inner Circle: https://nicolekalil.myflodesk.com/newsletter 

Share the Love::

If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!

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