We’re living in the age of the quick fix. Three steps to happiness. One habit to eliminate anxiety. A supplement for every symptom. Enough already.

Because grief is complicated. Mental health is complicated. Relationships are complicated. We are complicated. And when we reduce deeply human experiences into easy solutions, we don’t just oversimplify the problem—we risk making people believe they’re the problem.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Celeste Birkhofer, clinical psychologist, adjunct clinical faculty member at Stanford Medical School, and author of Beyond Quick Fixes. Together, they explore the five inner resources that support mental health, emotional resilience, healthy relationships, and personal growth—and why strengthening ourselves from the inside out matters more than finding the next hack.

They explore:

• The five inner resources that create a stronger foundation for mental health and well-being

• How to develop a healthy sense of self, self-esteem, agency, and self-compassion

• Why coping strategies learned in childhood may no longer serve us as adults

• The difference between healthy coping and patterns of over-control, avoidance, numbing, or perfectionism

• Why strong relationships—and learning to tolerate disappointment and repair ruptures—are essential to well-being

• How to ask for the kind of support you actually need instead of expecting people to magically know

• Why self-compassion and personal growth can (and should) exist at the same time

• What the “wise self” is and how to strengthen and trust that internal voice

• Why professional mental health support matters when life becomes painful or overwhelming

The work isn’t to constantly fix ourselves. It’s to know ourselves, strengthen ourselves, and build the inner resources that help us meet whatever life hands us with more capacity, compassion, resilience, and trust.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Celeste:

Website: https://www.celestebirkhofer.com/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Quick-Fixes-Ingredients-Fulfilling/dp/B0GRWSRJLK 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/celestebirkhofer 

FB: https://www.facebook.com/celeste.birkhofer  

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/celeste-birkhofer-phd-psyd-85525a9/ 

Substack: https://drcelestebirkhofer.substack.com/ 

Brainzmagazine: https://www.brainzmagazine.com/executive-contributor/celeste-birkhofer 

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• Stop Saying “I’m Fine”: Nervous System Regulation for High-Achieving Women with Michelle Grosser | 372
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• Grown-Up Goals: The 5 Pillars Of Being A Healthy Adult with Michelle Chalfant | 317

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Women have been told for years that they need to negotiate more—but what if that isn't the real problem?

In this episode, Nicole welcomes negotiation consultant, Harvard research fellow, and founder of Moon Negotiation, Joan Moon, to unpack what the research actually says about women and negotiation. Together, they challenge outdated myths, explore the impact of gender bias at the bargaining table, and share practical strategies that help women advocate for themselves without abandoning who they are.

From salary conversations to flexible work arrangements and everyday communication, this conversation reveals that negotiation isn't about becoming more aggressive—it's about becoming more strategic. 

In This Episode Nicole and Joan Discuss:

• Why the idea that women are "bad negotiators" is a myth unsupported by research.

• How gender bias—not lack of skill—often influences negotiation outcomes.

• Why women excel when negotiating for others but face different expectations when advocating for themselves.

• The power of the win-win approach and how to frame requests around shared success.

• How asking better questions leads to stronger negotiation outcomes, and why listening is often a negotiator's greatest advantage.

• The importance of uncovering the other person's underlying interests instead of making assumptions.

• How to negotiate non-salary benefits like flexibility, time, and professional support.

• Practical strategies for performance reviews, raises, and promotion conversations.

• Common negotiation mistakes women make—and how to avoid them.

Together, these insights offer a practical roadmap for approaching negotiation with confidence, clarity, and a win-win mindset. 

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Joan:

Website: ww.moonnegotiation.com 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/moonnegotiation/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@moonnegotiation 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanmoon413/  

Mini Online Course: https://course.moonnegotiation.com/fundamentals-of-negotiation-for-women-EXPRESS 

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• How To Ask Better Questions with Elizabeth Weingarten | 347

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Women are told to be strong, but not hard. Confident, but not intimidating. Emotional, but for the love of God, don’t be too sensitive. Apparently, there’s some magical “just right” version of womanhood—but nobody seems to have the address.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Sasha Hamdani, board-certified psychiatrist, mental health educator, and author of Too Sensitive about why feeling deeply isn’t a flaw to fix. They unpack rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), what happens when emotions hijack logic, how hormones impact sensitivity, and practical ways to regulate without stuffing, numbing, or apologizing for what’s being felt.

In This Episode:

• Why sensitivity isn’t weakness—and can actually be a leadership strength

• What rejection sensitive dysphoria is and why rejection can hit so damn hard

• How to regulate emotions without suppressing them

• Why hormones matter more than women have been taught

• Why the goal isn’t thicker skin—it’s greater self-awareness and control

Feeling deeply isn’t the same as being fragile. The goal isn’t to become less sensitive—it’s to understand it, work with it, and stop shrinking perfectly human parts of ourselves just because they make someone else uncomfortable.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Sasha:

Website: https://www.drhamdanimd.com/toosensitive 

Book: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250423764/toosensitive/ 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/thepsychdoctormd/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thepsychdoctormd

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• ADHD in Women, Nervous System Regulation & Getting Out of Fight-or-Flight with Jenna Free | 396 

• How To Listen When Your Parts Speak (IFS Therapy + Ancestral Wisdom) with Tamala Floyd | 376 

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Working mothers are often told they can "have it all." But what many actually hear is that they're expected to do it all—build a successful career, raise thriving children, manage a household, nurture relationships, and somehow make it all look effortless. It's no wonder so many women feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and convinced they're somehow falling short.

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil welcomes Julia Sewell—performance coach, founder of the Self-Made Mom movement, entrepreneur, and author of The Self-Made Mom: Thriving at Home and at Work Without Compromise. Together, they challenge outdated expectations surrounding motherhood and success while exploring what it truly means to build a life that honors both ambition and well-being.

In This Episode, Nicole and Julia Discuss:

• What it means to become a "Self-Made Mom."

• The concept of "noble self-abandonment" and how it keeps women depleted.

• How tying self-worth to productivity leaves women feeling like they're never enough.

• Julia's personal "broken red cup" story and the wake-up call that transformed her marriage and life.

• Why self-awareness often has to come before relationship repair.

• How partners can become allies in building healthier family systems.

• Why working moms should apply business strategies to their personal lives.

• Using values, systems, and planning to reduce stress and decision fatigue.

• Communicating effectively with family members and other key stakeholders.

• Delegating responsibilities based on strengths instead of outdated assumptions.

• How hiring help can reduce burnout and create more presence at home.

• Letting go of the myth of perfect work-life balance.

This powerful conversation is about what it really takes to redefine success on your own terms as a working mom. Offering a new way forward for women who are ready to stop measuring themselves against impossible standards and start building lives that actually work for them. 

Thank you to our sponsors!

Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills!

Connect with Julia:

Website: https://www.theselfmademom.com/ 

Book: Sign up to be notified when the book launches and receive exclusive updates at: https://www.theselfmademom.com/book

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• 144 / Jay & Nicole Kalil on Partnership, With Guest Host Lynn Casaletto
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Guilt has become so commonplace in women's lives that many of us barely notice it anymore. It shows up when we set boundaries, ask for help, prioritize our careers, take time for ourselves, or simply admit that we can't do everything. But what if much of that guilt isn't a reflection of our values at all? What if it's the result of impossible expectations we've been conditioned to carry?

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Dr. Jennifer Reid, psychiatrist, women's behavioral health expert, educator, podcast host, and author of Guilt-Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations. Together, they unpack how guilt functions as a form of social conditioning, why women are especially vulnerable to carrying unreasonable expectations, and how guilt often keeps us focused on fixing ourselves instead of questioning the systems that created those expectations in the first place.

In This Episode, Nicole and Dr. Jennifer Discuss:

• Why guilt can function as a form of social control.

• How guilt often masks deeper emotions like sadness, disappointment, and fear.

• Who benefits when women remain trapped in cycles of guilt and over-functioning.

• Dr. Jennifer's "Guilt Equation" and how expectations create unnecessary guilt.

• The four unreasonable expectations—or "Four Furies"—that drive guilt for so many women.

• How comparison widens the gap between expectations and reality.

• Why women tend to focus on what they're not doing instead of recognizing what they are doing well.

• Why the myth of "having it all" continues to fuel guilt and burnout.

• Dr. Jennifer's SPEAK framework for recognizing and responding to guilt.

• How to identify recurring guilt triggers and challenge the thoughts behind them.

• Healthy ways to establish and maintain boundaries without unnecessary guilt.

• How to navigate relationships with people who resist or ignore boundaries.

• The difference between healthy guilt that encourages growth and unhealthy guilt that keeps women small.

• Why letting go of unreasonable guilt is an act of resistance and self-leadership.

Ultimately, this conversation is a reminder that not all guilt deserves our attention, and learning to question where it comes from can be a powerful step toward greater freedom and self-trust. 

Thank you to our sponsors!

Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. 

Connect with Jennifer:

Website: https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/ 

Substack: https://amindofherown.substack.com/ 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mind-of-her-own/id1561999981 

Guilt Free Groups: https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/guilt-free-groups 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/jenreidmd/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Guilt-Free-Reclaiming-Unreasonable-Expectations/dp/0593833465 

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If you’re looking for some encouragement to chase your dreams, if it’s time for you to take that shot, or if you’re just looking for some energy to make it through your day, this is the episode for you!

Judi Holler is a fire starter, an energy shifter, the ultimate hype woman, one of my favorite people to follow on IG, and she’s moving audiences worldwide to take massive action in their lives and businesses. For the last decade, Judi has built an enterprise that includes a robust keynote speaking business, a top podcast, and a best-selling book. Each year, Judi shifts energy in convention centers and ballrooms worldwide with audiences of 50 - 50,000 with her motivational, inspiring, and transformational keynote experiences. 

Don’t waste another minute worrying and overthinking… it’s time to HOLLER AT YOUR DREAMS!

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Judi:

Website: https://judiholler.com/ 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/judiholler/ 

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Women are often told that working harder is the key to getting ahead. Deliver exceptional results, say yes to every opportunity, support the team, and eventually someone will notice. But for many women, that strategy doesn't lead to promotions—it leads to becoming indispensable in the very role they're trying to outgrow.

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Patty Azzarello—author, speaker, business advisor, and former Fortune 500 executive—to unpack the unwritten rules that shape career advancement. Drawing from her own journey from awkward introvert to CEO before the age of 40, Patty shares the lessons she learned about visibility, executive presence, influence, and why competence alone is rarely enough to build a successful career.

In This Episode, Nicole and Patty Discuss:

• Why being excellent at your job can actually keep you stuck in it.

• The hidden career rules that no one teaches—but everyone is expected to know.

• The difference between being busy, being valuable, and being visible.

• Why women often take on "office housework" that doesn't advance their careers.

• How to identify the work that creates the greatest value for the business.

• Practical strategies for saying no without damaging relationships.

• Why executive presence is often poorly defined—and how to build it authentically.

• How bringing humanity to leadership creates greater influence than trying to be impressive.

• Why visibility matters just as much as performance when it comes to promotions.

• Simple ways to build relationships with senior leaders and decision-makers.

• The power of asking for help as a leadership skill.

• Why waiting until you feel ready often keeps you from your biggest opportunities.

• How healthy conflict strengthens leadership and decision-making.

• The career cost of constantly taking care of everyone else.

This conversation is a wake-up call for anyone who has been told that hard work alone is enough. Patty offers a refreshing, practical perspective on what actually drives career growth—and how to start making those shifts today. 

Thank you to our sponsors!

Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. 

Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Patty:

Website: https://pattyazzarello.com/ 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pattyazzarello  

IG: https://www.instagram.com/pazzarello777/ 

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We explore a common paradox in this episode (and I’ll be up front that this is one I’ve struggled with for most of my career) – and that is, being a likeable badass.

How can we be both liked as a person and respected for our success? How do we get the recognition, negotiate for our value, and create opportunities without our peers or colleagues seeing us as cold, calculating or selfish? How do we create and leverage power and status as women, if we feel icky about the words power and status?

I don’t have the answers, friend, but I know someone who does.

Alison Fragale is the author of Likeable Badass and the Mary Farley Ames Lee Distinguished Scholar of Organizational Behavior at the Kenan-Flagler Business School. Her work has been published in the most prestigious academic journals in her field, and is featured in prominent media outlets such as The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Financial Times, Boston Globe, and many more. A sought-after keynote speaker and trusted advisor, Alison was introduced to me by Adam Grant, and is here today to help us understand more about power, status, and likeability – and how those things impact our ability to get more of what we want.

A loving reminder that whether or not you’re a working professional, we’re ALL negotiating for the things we want, for what matters most to us.

And whether you’re at work or in your personal relationships, your status matters.

It’s time for us to set aside those limiting mindsets because they aren’t serving us or our people.

You can be and become a likable badass.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. 

Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Alison:

Website: https://alisonfragale.com/ 

Subscribe to Alison’s Substack: https://alisonfragale.substack.com

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Likeable-Badass-Women-Success-Deserve/dp/0385549148 

Group Coaching Program: https://alisonfragale.com/likeable-badass-accelerator/ An 8-week group coaching program designed to help ambitious women build influence, increase visibility, and earn the recognition they deserve. Enter kalil10 at checkout for your discounted rate.

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Divorce is often portrayed as a battle—one that leaves everyone emotionally exhausted and financially depleted. But what if that's not the only path forward?

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Erin Levine, founder and CEO of Hello Divorce, to challenge the common misconceptions surrounding divorce and explore what it actually takes to have a good one. After nearly two decades as a family law attorney, Erin witnessed firsthand how the traditional legal system often creates unnecessary conflict, higher costs, and prolonged emotional distress. That experience inspired her to build a different approach—one that supports people through one of life's biggest transitions with greater clarity, compassion, and confidence.

In This Episode, Nicole and Erin Discuss:

• The three legal steps every divorce requires.

• Why 95% of divorces are resolved through agreement rather than trial.

• Common misconceptions about the divorce process.

• State-by-state differences that can significantly impact divorce timelines.

• Why divorce should be viewed as a life transition—not just a legal proceeding.

• Erin's definition of a "good divorce" and what makes it possible.

• Why fear and anger often lead to poor decisions during divorce.

• The financial mistakes that frequently cost people thousands of dollars.

• The role divorce coaches, mediators, therapists, financial professionals, and real estate experts can play throughout the process.

• Practical conversations and ground rules couples can establish before filing for divorce.

• Common misconceptions surrounding custody arrangements.

• Important considerations when dividing real estate and retirement assets.

• Why the end of a marriage doesn't necessarily mean the relationship failed.

Ultimately, the conversation reframes divorce as a process that can be navigated with clarity, dignity, and support rather than conflict.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. 

Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Erin:

Website: https://hellodivorce.com/ 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinlevine/ 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/hellodivorce 

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Spiritual health isn’t about following a specific religion, meditating on a mountaintop, or taking the sacrament (unless you want to do those things). It’s about something deeper—our connection to something greater than ourselves, our capacity for faith, and the hope that carries us through life’s challenges.

Dr. Lisa Miller is a New York Times bestselling author of The Spiritual Child and The Awakened Brain. She’s a professor in the Clinical Psychology Program at Teachers College, Columbia University, and the founder of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute—the first Ivy League graduate program dedicated to the study of spirituality and psychology.

Her groundbreaking research has been published in over 100 peer-reviewed articles, and she’s a sought-after speaker, working with the U.S. military, Fortune 500 companies, schools, and healthcare organizations to integrate spirituality into mental health and leadership.

Spirituality isn’t just a belief system—it’s a proven driver of resilience, purpose, and well-being. In this episode, we dive into:

✔️ How spiritual health impacts mental resilience and emotional well-being

✔️ The neuroscience behind spirituality and how it physically changes the brain

✔️ Why faith—whether in God, the universe, or your inner wisdom—makes you stronger

✔️ Practical ways to nurture your spiritual health (without needing a formal practice)

Because here’s the truth: Whatever created you, lives within you—and that alone makes you inherently valuable, worthy, and powerful.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills!

Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Dr. Lisa Miller: 

Website: https://www.lisamillerphd.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.lisamillerlis

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What if the goal isn't to live longer—but to live better?

In a world obsessed with anti-aging hacks, longevity supplements, biohacking, and looking younger, Dr. Kerry Burnight is offering a radically different perspective. A gerontologist, educator, and author of the New York Times bestselling book JoySpan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life's Second Half, Dr. Kerry challenges the fear-based messaging that dominates the aging and wellness industries and invites us to focus on something much more meaningful: joy.

In this conversation, Nicole and Dr. Kerry unpack what actually matters when it comes to healthy aging, longevity, purpose, confidence, connection, and fulfillment. They explore why society's obsession with youth may be distracting us from the very things that create a life worth living—and why growing older might be one of the greatest gifts we receive.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• Why the anti-aging industry profits from fear—and how to stop buying into it

• The difference between lifespan, healthspan, and Dr. Kerry's concept of "joyspan"

• What research says actually improves as we get older

• How purpose, meaning, friendship, and connection impact longevity

• Why confidence often increases with age

• The role of mindset in healthy aging and overall wellbeing

• How to overcome internalized ageism and embrace every stage of life

• Why joy isn't something you find—it's something you cultivate

• Practical ways to focus less on optimization and more on actually enjoying life

Because at the end of the day, a meaningful life isn't built through endless optimization—it's built through the moments, relationships, and experiences that make us glad we're here.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Elevate your summer wardrobe: Go to Quince.com/tiww for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns!

Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills!

Go to https://CovePure.com/tiww to get $250 off. Thanks to CovePure for sponsoring this episode!

Connect with Kerry:

Book: https://drkerryburnight.com/joyspan 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/the_gerontologist/ 

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