“Just stay positive” might be some of the most useless advice ever given when life is falling apart.

Because resilient optimism isn’t pretending everything is fine, ignoring reality, or slapping a silver lining on something that just plain sucks. It’s believing that even when we can’t control what happens, we still have agency over what we do next.

Michelle Gielan is a positive psychology researcher, bestselling author of Broadcasting Happiness, former CBS Morning News anchor, and author of Resilient Optimism: The Science of Sustaining a Positive Mindset in Tough Times. Her research explores how optimism impacts happiness, resilience, performance, productivity, and our ability to navigate stress, uncertainty, setbacks, and change.

In this episode, Michelle and Nicole unpack why optimism isn’t just a feeling — it’s a behavior. 

We explore:

• What resilient optimism is — and how it differs from toxic positivity

• Why optimism is a behavior we can practice, not just a personality trait

• How to hold two truths at once with a “yes, and” mindset

• Why our brains naturally focus on threats and negative information

• The five trainable behaviors of resilient optimists

• How to recalibrate perspective without ignoring reality

• Why strategic rest and recovery can improve performance

• The impact of negative news, social media, and our information diet

• Why relationships and social connection are critical to happiness and optimism

Optimism isn’t believing everything will work out exactly the way we want. It’s believing there’s still something worth doing before we know how the story ends.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Michelle:

Book: https://www.resilientoptimism.com/ 

Substack: https://michellegielan.substack.com/ 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellegielan/ 

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Work isn’t exactly working for women.

We have more opportunities, more impressive titles, more responsibility, and more ways to succeed than generations before us. And yet, a whole lot of successful women are exhausted, overwhelmed, underutilized, and wondering: Is this really as good as it gets?

Dr. Helen Krug von Nidda is an executive coach, licensed career counselor, Stanford University instructor, and author of Closing the Fulfillment Gap. She’s spent more than 20 years helping women navigate their careers and create work lives that actually fit who they are today — not who they were when they started climbing the damn ladder.

In this episode, Helen and Nicole unpack the “fulfillment gap” — the distance between what women expected successful careers to feel like and what they’re actually experiencing. 

We explore:

• Why women can be successful at work and still feel deeply unfulfilled

• How autonomy, connection, and competence influence fulfillment

• Why what fulfills women changes throughout different career and life stages

• The MOVE framework for creating a more fulfilling career

• How values can serve as breadcrumbs when the bigger vision isn’t clear

• Why knowing what you don’t want can help clarify what you do

• The surprising power of “weak ties” and expanding professional networks

• Small career changes women can make now to start closing the fulfillment gap

Fulfillment isn’t something waiting at the top of the ladder, and it probably isn’t hiding inside the next promotion either. Women may not control every workplace, leader, system, or outcome — but they do have power over what they pursue, tolerate, change, and choose.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Helen:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/with.dr.helen/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GT9YPC9C/ 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helenkrugvonnidda/ 

Substack: https://substack.com/@withhelen https://www.with-helen.com/ 

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• How To Live A Fulfilling Life with Dr. Edith Eger | 251

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We love a comeback story. The recovery after the diagnosis. The victory after the struggle. The inspiring lesson wrapped up with a pretty bow and, preferably, some flattering lighting.

But what about when you’re still in it?

Allison Sweet Grant was barely 40, a mother of three, and just beginning her literary career when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her memoir, Lump: A Memoir in Ineloquent Reflections, tells the truth about breast cancer treatment and recovery without cleaning it up for public consumption. There’s fear and hope. Gratitude and anger. Humor and grief. 

In this episode, Allison and Nicole talk about the messy emotional reality of a breast cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy and cancer recovery, including the pressure to stay positive, the complicated role of caregivers, and why gratitude doesn’t cancel out grief.

We explore:

• Why gratitude, grief, fear, anger, humor, and hope can all exist at once

• The pressure cancer patients can feel to stay positive or find the “silver lining”

• How cancer affects spouses, children, caregivers, and the entire family

• Why humor and sarcasm can be powerful coping mechanisms during difficult experiences

• How the need to be liked or seen as a “good patient” can keep women from asking important questions

• Why bringing an advocate to medical appointments can make a difference

• How fear influences major healthcare decisions — and why Allison wishes she had paused more

• The ongoing fear of cancer recurrence and what it means to live in the complicated space between patient and survivor

Because the truth doesn’t need to be positive, polished, perfect, or profound to be worth telling.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Allison:

Website: https://www.allisonsweetgrant.com/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Lump-Reflections-Allison-Sweet-Grant-ebook/dp/B0GL1H4FJL/ 

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Society doesn’t just tell girls who they’re supposed to be. It tells boys who they’re supposed to be too. Different rules, different consequences—but they’re still boxes asking our kids to perform who they’re supposed to be instead of discovering who they actually are.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil welcomes back Dr. Shefali, world-renowned clinical psychologist, multiple New York Times bestselling author, founder of the Conscious Parenting Movement, and author of two new books, Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons.

And while there’s plenty to say about raising confident girls, this conversation spends significant time on what boys need from parents in a culture sending them increasingly confusing messages about masculinity.

They explore:

• What parents are getting wrong about raising boys today

• What “integrated masculinity” looks like and why boys need healthier models of manhood

• How parents can help boys navigate social media, pornography, the manosphere, and toxic masculinity

• Why mentorship and positive male role models matter

• What boys may be seeking through video games, online communities, and bro culture

• How movement, purpose, contribution, and connection can support boys’ emotional health

• How to help boys experience and express anger without shaming their emotions or allowing harmful behavior

• How girls are still being taught to seek approval—even when it’s packaged as empowerment

• Why parents need to examine their own emotional baggage and achievement expectations

Because raising kids who know who they are—and get to decide who they become—that’s the work of a parent.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Dr. Shefali:

Website: https://www.drshefali.com/raisingconscious-daughters-sons/ 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/doctorshefali/?hl=en 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@doctorshefali 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doctorshefali 

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What if midlife isn’t the beginning of the decline, but the beginning of something entirely new?

We’ve been sold a pretty outdated life plan: learn, work, climb, achieve, retire. Preferably while raising children, maintaining friendships, exercising, drinking enough water, keeping our relationships interesting, remembering everyone’s birthdays, and figuring out what the fuck is happening to our hormones.

Yeah. That plan could use an update.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Lynda Gratton, one of the world’s leading experts on the future of work, professor of management practice at London Business School, and author of Living the Hundred Year Life: How to Build a Career That Lasts and a Life You Love.

They explore:

• Why the traditional learn-work-retire model no longer fits a 100-year life

• How longer lifespans are changing careers, retirement, and the future of work

• Why women have been living multi-stage careers long before workplaces caught up

• The eight “threads” that help create a fulfilling, sustainable life and career

• Why relationships, friendship, adventure, and calm are essential to avoiding burnout

• Why calm may be one of the most neglected resources in women’s lives

• How to create more calm without pretending we suddenly have hours of free time

• The difference between the future self you hope for, expect, and fear

• Why adventure doesn’t require blowing up your life or booking a trip around the world

• Why you might want to take a little piece of retirement now instead of saving all of it for someday

So if you’re asking, “What’s next for me?” maybe you don’t need the entire answer yet. Maybe you get to keep weaving, experimenting, and choosing as you go.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Lynda:

Website: https://www.livingthe100yearlife.com/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-100-Year-Life-build-career/dp/1399432966/ref=sr_1_1 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynda-gratton-3b179813/   

Assessment: https://www.livingthe100yearlife.com/assessment 

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Somewhere along the way, a lot of us got way too practical. We learned what’s realistic, reasonable, and likely to work. We became responsible adults who pay the mortgage and don’t launch every half-baked idea that hits us in the shower.

Great. But what if being “realistic” is sometimes just fear with better branding?

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Salima Bhimani, moonshot architect, entrepreneur, former Alphabet Chief Strategist for Responsible Technology, CEO of 10x Responsible Tech, and author of Invent Now: The Next Leap in Moonshots.

Salima challenges the idea that innovation, AI, emerging technology, and moonshot thinking belong exclusively to Silicon Valley geniuses with billion-dollar budgets. Instead, she argues that human ingenuity exists everywhere—and that the future gets a hell of a lot more interesting when everyday people stop being passive recipients of technology and start participating in what gets built.

They explore:

• What a moonshot idea actually is—and why it’s not just for tech billionaires

• Why Salima believes we’re wasting enormous amounts of human genius and potential

• How AI and emerging technology are lowering the barriers to innovation

• Why humanity—not technology—is the real moonshot

• How to stop underestimating your own ability to create change and make an impact

• The importance of community and collaboration when solving complex problems

• Why we tend to underestimate our own impact while wildly overestimating everyone else’s

• How purpose and creativity can emerge during messy, uncertain seasons of life

• Why friction, frustration, and problems may be exactly where the best ideas are hiding

• What Salima calls the “third space,” where human ingenuity and technology come together

This isn’t about convincing everyone to cure cancer, build the next Google, or become an inventor. It’s about getting a little less impressed by what’s “realistic” and a lot more curious about what could be possible.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Salima:

Website: https://salimabhimani.com/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Invent-Now-Next-Leap-Moonshots/dp/1394394020 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/moonshotmaven_salimabhimani/ 

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We’re living in the age of the quick fix. Three steps to happiness. One habit to eliminate anxiety. A supplement for every symptom. Enough already.

Because grief is complicated. Mental health is complicated. Relationships are complicated. We are complicated. And when we reduce deeply human experiences into easy solutions, we don’t just oversimplify the problem—we risk making people believe they’re the problem.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Celeste Birkhofer, clinical psychologist, adjunct clinical faculty member at Stanford Medical School, and author of Beyond Quick Fixes. Together, they explore the five inner resources that support mental health, emotional resilience, healthy relationships, and personal growth—and why strengthening ourselves from the inside out matters more than finding the next hack.

They explore:

• The five inner resources that create a stronger foundation for mental health and well-being

• How to develop a healthy sense of self, self-esteem, agency, and self-compassion

• Why coping strategies learned in childhood may no longer serve us as adults

• The difference between healthy coping and patterns of over-control, avoidance, numbing, or perfectionism

• Why strong relationships—and learning to tolerate disappointment and repair ruptures—are essential to well-being

• How to ask for the kind of support you actually need instead of expecting people to magically know

• Why self-compassion and personal growth can (and should) exist at the same time

• What the “wise self” is and how to strengthen and trust that internal voice

• Why professional mental health support matters when life becomes painful or overwhelming

The work isn’t to constantly fix ourselves. It’s to know ourselves, strengthen ourselves, and build the inner resources that help us meet whatever life hands us with more capacity, compassion, resilience, and trust.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Celeste:

Website: https://www.celestebirkhofer.com/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Quick-Fixes-Ingredients-Fulfilling/dp/B0GRWSRJLK 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/celestebirkhofer 

FB: https://www.facebook.com/celeste.birkhofer  

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/celeste-birkhofer-phd-psyd-85525a9/ 

Substack: https://drcelestebirkhofer.substack.com/ 

Brainzmagazine: https://www.brainzmagazine.com/executive-contributor/celeste-birkhofer 

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Women have been told for years that they need to negotiate more—but what if that isn't the real problem?

In this episode, Nicole welcomes negotiation consultant, Harvard research fellow, and founder of Moon Negotiation, Joan Moon, to unpack what the research actually says about women and negotiation. Together, they challenge outdated myths, explore the impact of gender bias at the bargaining table, and share practical strategies that help women advocate for themselves without abandoning who they are.

From salary conversations to flexible work arrangements and everyday communication, this conversation reveals that negotiation isn't about becoming more aggressive—it's about becoming more strategic. 

In This Episode Nicole and Joan Discuss:

• Why the idea that women are "bad negotiators" is a myth unsupported by research.

• How gender bias—not lack of skill—often influences negotiation outcomes.

• Why women excel when negotiating for others but face different expectations when advocating for themselves.

• The power of the win-win approach and how to frame requests around shared success.

• How asking better questions leads to stronger negotiation outcomes, and why listening is often a negotiator's greatest advantage.

• The importance of uncovering the other person's underlying interests instead of making assumptions.

• How to negotiate non-salary benefits like flexibility, time, and professional support.

• Practical strategies for performance reviews, raises, and promotion conversations.

• Common negotiation mistakes women make—and how to avoid them.

Together, these insights offer a practical roadmap for approaching negotiation with confidence, clarity, and a win-win mindset. 

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Joan:

Website: ww.moonnegotiation.com 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/moonnegotiation/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@moonnegotiation 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanmoon413/  

Mini Online Course: https://course.moonnegotiation.com/fundamentals-of-negotiation-for-women-EXPRESS 

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Women are told to be strong, but not hard. Confident, but not intimidating. Emotional, but for the love of God, don’t be too sensitive. Apparently, there’s some magical “just right” version of womanhood—but nobody seems to have the address.

In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Sasha Hamdani, board-certified psychiatrist, mental health educator, and author of Too Sensitive about why feeling deeply isn’t a flaw to fix. They unpack rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), what happens when emotions hijack logic, how hormones impact sensitivity, and practical ways to regulate without stuffing, numbing, or apologizing for what’s being felt.

In This Episode:

• Why sensitivity isn’t weakness—and can actually be a leadership strength

• What rejection sensitive dysphoria is and why rejection can hit so damn hard

• How to regulate emotions without suppressing them

• Why hormones matter more than women have been taught

• Why the goal isn’t thicker skin—it’s greater self-awareness and control

Feeling deeply isn’t the same as being fragile. The goal isn’t to become less sensitive—it’s to understand it, work with it, and stop shrinking perfectly human parts of ourselves just because they make someone else uncomfortable.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Connect with Sasha:

Website: https://www.drhamdanimd.com/toosensitive 

Book: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250423764/toosensitive/ 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/thepsychdoctormd/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thepsychdoctormd

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Working mothers are often told they can "have it all." But what many actually hear is that they're expected to do it all—build a successful career, raise thriving children, manage a household, nurture relationships, and somehow make it all look effortless. It's no wonder so many women feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and convinced they're somehow falling short.

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil welcomes Julia Sewell—performance coach, founder of the Self-Made Mom movement, entrepreneur, and author of The Self-Made Mom: Thriving at Home and at Work Without Compromise. Together, they challenge outdated expectations surrounding motherhood and success while exploring what it truly means to build a life that honors both ambition and well-being.

In This Episode, Nicole and Julia Discuss:

• What it means to become a "Self-Made Mom."

• The concept of "noble self-abandonment" and how it keeps women depleted.

• How tying self-worth to productivity leaves women feeling like they're never enough.

• Julia's personal "broken red cup" story and the wake-up call that transformed her marriage and life.

• Why self-awareness often has to come before relationship repair.

• How partners can become allies in building healthier family systems.

• Why working moms should apply business strategies to their personal lives.

• Using values, systems, and planning to reduce stress and decision fatigue.

• Communicating effectively with family members and other key stakeholders.

• Delegating responsibilities based on strengths instead of outdated assumptions.

• How hiring help can reduce burnout and create more presence at home.

• Letting go of the myth of perfect work-life balance.

This powerful conversation is about what it really takes to redefine success on your own terms as a working mom. Offering a new way forward for women who are ready to stop measuring themselves against impossible standards and start building lives that actually work for them. 

Thank you to our sponsors!

Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills!

Connect with Julia:

Website: https://www.theselfmademom.com/ 

Book: Sign up to be notified when the book launches and receive exclusive updates at: https://www.theselfmademom.com/book

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Guilt has become so commonplace in women's lives that many of us barely notice it anymore. It shows up when we set boundaries, ask for help, prioritize our careers, take time for ourselves, or simply admit that we can't do everything. But what if much of that guilt isn't a reflection of our values at all? What if it's the result of impossible expectations we've been conditioned to carry?

In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Dr. Jennifer Reid, psychiatrist, women's behavioral health expert, educator, podcast host, and author of Guilt-Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations. Together, they unpack how guilt functions as a form of social conditioning, why women are especially vulnerable to carrying unreasonable expectations, and how guilt often keeps us focused on fixing ourselves instead of questioning the systems that created those expectations in the first place.

In This Episode, Nicole and Dr. Jennifer Discuss:

• Why guilt can function as a form of social control.

• How guilt often masks deeper emotions like sadness, disappointment, and fear.

• Who benefits when women remain trapped in cycles of guilt and over-functioning.

• Dr. Jennifer's "Guilt Equation" and how expectations create unnecessary guilt.

• The four unreasonable expectations—or "Four Furies"—that drive guilt for so many women.

• How comparison widens the gap between expectations and reality.

• Why women tend to focus on what they're not doing instead of recognizing what they are doing well.

• Why the myth of "having it all" continues to fuel guilt and burnout.

• Dr. Jennifer's SPEAK framework for recognizing and responding to guilt.

• How to identify recurring guilt triggers and challenge the thoughts behind them.

• Healthy ways to establish and maintain boundaries without unnecessary guilt.

• How to navigate relationships with people who resist or ignore boundaries.

• The difference between healthy guilt that encourages growth and unhealthy guilt that keeps women small.

• Why letting go of unreasonable guilt is an act of resistance and self-leadership.

Ultimately, this conversation is a reminder that not all guilt deserves our attention, and learning to question where it comes from can be a powerful step toward greater freedom and self-trust. 

Thank you to our sponsors!

Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. 

Connect with Jennifer:

Website: https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/ 

Substack: https://amindofherown.substack.com/ 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mind-of-her-own/id1561999981 

Guilt Free Groups: https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/guilt-free-groups 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/jenreidmd/ 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Guilt-Free-Reclaiming-Unreasonable-Expectations/dp/0593833465 

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