Today on the podcast, we are talking about a vulnerable topic and human experience: shame. While we know it’s not always comfortable to talk about, we also know we aren't alone in our experiences and that sharing is how we all learn and grow. To help us walk through the topic of shame, we have invited Dr. Zoe Shaw on to today’s episode. Dr. Zoe is a psychotherapist, author, podcast host, and speaker who is passionate about helping women through difficult relationships and helping them overcome complex shame and codependency. Dr. Zoe talks us through the difference between simple and complex shame, people who may be more inclined to experience complex shame, the part that shame may play in our romantic relationships, and how codependency can impact our shame cycles. Today’s episode is unlike any other episode. It is truly impactful and we will be thinking about this episode for weeks and months to come.

Links & Resources:

20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping 

Team SuperCrew use code ‘HERSELF’ for 10% your purchase PLUS free gift

10% off at BETTERHELP

Follow on Dr. Zoe Shaw on Instagram

Dr. Zoe’s Website

Listen to Dr. Zoe’s Podcast: Stronger In the Difficult Places

Preorder Dr. Zoe’s Book; “Strong In the Difficult Places…”’

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Join our exclusive community for bonus episodes, extra video content, book club and more!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Relationships are at the foundation of our everyday connections. Friendship, family, and romantic relationships take dedication for both sides to feel validated and loved. We know relationships are hard, which is why we invited Dr. Thema Bryant to share with us her incredible knowledge and expertise. Dr. Thema is a psychologist, author, professor, and President of the American Psychological Association. Through her work as an educator, podcast host, and her newly released book, “Matters of the Heart”, Dr. Thema is leading the way in creating healthy relationships, healing traumas, and helping others overcome stress and oppression. This episode gave us a new way of thinking about our own relationships and we walked away with so many insightful new ways to shift our mindsets surrounding love and relationships. Dr. Thema’s answers to our deep and personal questions were so well spoken, we know you’re going to take away a lot from today’s episode too!

(Trigger warning: emotional and sexual abuse discussed)

Links & Resources:

Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT

30% off your first order of Cornbread Hemp using code ‘HERSELF’

Get your first pack of Goodwipes for free!

Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’

Follow Dr. Thema Bryant on Instagram

Dr. Thema’s Website

Listen to Dr. Thema’s Podcast: The Homecoming Podcast

Purchase Dr. Thema Bryant’s Book; “Matters of the Heart”

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Join our exclusive community for bonus episodes, extra video content, book club and more!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today’s episode was inspired by our personal experiences and a blog post from The Gottman Institute all about perpetual versus solvable problems in long-relationships. As close friends, we’ve had a front seat to the common disagreements and issues that we each have in our 10-year long marriages. We often will talk through something and try to see the other partner’s side, while also working towards solutions - which is what you’ll get to hear in today’s episode. The Gottman blog post was so interesting to us because it made us realize that what may be a solvable problem for Abby and Colin, may be a perpetual problem for Amy and Drew and vice versa. According to The Gottman Institute, 69% of problems in relationships are perpetual with the most common topics being household chores, parenting, sex, and in-law relationships. We are digging into a couple of these topics today and breaking down whether this is a perpetual or solvable problem in our own relationship and what we’ve done to work on it together as a couple. We hope that from listening to our personal experiences in today’s episode, you’re able to reflect if your marital arguments are perpetual or solvable problems in order to evolve with your partner and be in a really happy marriage.

Links & Resources:

20% off your order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping 

20% off your first order at Vuori Clothing

Check out the Maui Nui Venison products we’re loving!

The Gottman Institute Blog Post, “Managing Conflict: Solvable vs Perpetual Problems”

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We know a lot of listeners in our HERself community are busy moms, including us! We've got households to run, kids to take care of, careers to advance, spouses to love, and friends to support. Today on the podcast Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein, licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two, is here to deep dive into stress and burnout, something that is unfortunately common amongst moms. Dr. Carolyn is passionate about supporting moms in finding their worth, helping them embrace the human experience not just with evidence-based strategies, but also with deep compassion and understanding. While stress may be a normal human response, unmanaged and compounding stress without intervention can lead to inevitable burn out. We hope that through today’s episode, you are able to learn the signs and symptoms of burnout and feel prepared with some strategies that Dr. Carolyn shares. Today’s episode was eye-opening knowing that if we just pause and evaluate, it’s possible to take small steps in the right direction to avoid burnout.

Links & Resources:

20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping 

Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’

Check out LeVillage on Instagram and their website to find a location near you, and be sure to grab tickets to our event at the new Des Plaines location on March 21st!

10% off at BETTERHELP

Follow Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein on Instagram

Dr. Rubenstein’s Website

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today’s conversation is all about…conversation! We are happy to have Dr. Alison Wood Brooks joining us on the podcast. Alison is a behavioral scientist as well as a professor and Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School. She created and teaches a course called “TALK” and has now taken her research and published it in her new book also titled TALK! Many of us as parents want our kids to grow and learn in the area of communication - communicating with us, with their friends, with teachers or coaches, etc. Whether you have extroverted or introverted kids - this episode is for you. We touch on things like how to help your extroverted child find balance in discussions by letting others participate, and teaching introverted children how to feel comfortable in conversations to create strong friendships and excel at school. We also discuss how to approach difficult topics, especially with our significant others. And we end the episode elaborating on the importance of apologies and why this comes easily to some, not so easily to others, and some techniques to help bridge that gap. 

Links & Resources:

20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping 

Use code ‘HERSELF’ for 10% off your Team SuperCrew purchase, PLUS free gift!

Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT

Follow Dr. Alison Wood Brooks on Instagram

Alison’s Website

Purchase Alison’s Book; “Talk: The science of conversation and the art of being ourselves”

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We all have twenty four hours in a day. And when your plate is full with things like a romantic relationship, kids, a career, keeping up your home and taking care of pets, friends, and other obligations, every piece on that plate gets a designated amount of your time. Some seasons of life, the time you have for friends is plentiful - thinking back to our youth with school friends, college friends, and friends at your first job. Friendships came easily then because you had the time to pour into them. Now as adults, it can be hard to find the time to create new and meaningful friendships or keep existing friendships going. Today on the podcast, we are sitting down to have a conversation about our experiences with friendships through our seasons of life. We share the concept about friendship “tiers” and how that relates to our new and existing relationships, our most important values in friendship, and what we feel about friendships with the opposite sex. Our goal is that after listening to today’s episode, you feel hopeful that whether your friendship cup is big or small for your current season of life, that your cup can be full!

Links & Resources:

Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’

20% off your first purchase of Vuori Clothing

Check out Maui Nui Venison and the limited HERself collection

30% off your first order of Cornbread Hemp using code ‘HERSELF’

Episode “59: HERself Expert: Dr. Marisa Franco on the Challenges and Triumphs of Adult Friendships”

KU Med professor, J. A. Hall’s article, “How many hours does it take to make a friend?”

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

The winter season can feel long for a number of reasons, especially if you live in a cold climate like us! Illnesses going around at school or daycare seem to be constant and our kids are always catching something. That’s why we are so excited to have Dr. Kelly Fradin on the podcast today to talk with us about how to keep our kiddos healthy during this season, when to seek additional help for issues such as tonsils and sleep problems, and we even touch on our children’s mental health too. As a pediatrician and mother of two, Dr. Kelly shares the concerns of keeping our children healthy. Having graduated from Harvard College and Columbia College of Physicians and Surgeons and years of experience working in public health and schools, we knew Dr. Kelly’s outstanding credentials would make her the perfect guest to share tips and tricks to help keep our kiddos healthy, mind and body, during this cold and flu season! Be sure to share this one with a friend in solidarity and share on your socials, tagging us @herselfpodcast! 

Links & Resources:

20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping 

Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT

10% off your first month of BETTERHELP

Follow Dr. Kelly Fradin on Instagram

Dr. Kelly’s Website

Purchase Dr. Kelly’s Book; “Advanced Parenting: Advice for Helping Kids Through Diagnoses, Differences, and Mental Health Challenges”

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Here at HERself, we love wellness in all aspects of life whether it’s your sleep, relationships, parenting, self-care, even digital wellness. Today on the podcast, Amy Blankson is joining to help us discern what digital balance can look like in our everyday lives. Amy is the Co-founder of the Digital Wellness Institute and author of “The Future of Happiness” and she shares how to cultivate happiness and well-being in a hyperconnected world. We know there is lots of talk about our children and tech, but we want to utilize this episode as a way for us to reflect as adults on our own digital usage and be proud of the way we use our screen time. Amy shares a great exercise that helps us all tailor our screen time to our personal values and reminds us about the importance of reflecting on these values often. We are also going to talk through what digital boundaries look like for our home life, work life, in relationships and how to decide what a healthy balance looks like for you! We know that in this day and age, it is hard to be completely away from our phones and the digital world, but we hope that today’s episode helps you focus on your values when it comes to tech and helps you set a healthy balance that supports your overall wellness!

Links & Resources:

20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping 

Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’

Follow Amy Blankson on Instagram and LinkedIn

Amy’s Website and The Digital Wellness Institute Website

Amy’s LinkedIn Course

Purchase Amy’s Book; “The Future of Happiness”

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Dr. Kelly Vincent, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, and founder of the holistic mental health practice Nourished Wellness Group, helps women in all walks of life with their mental health journey. She is most passionate about caring for the mental health of mothers, female entrepreneurs, and other young professionals, which we know describes a lot of our listeners! Keeping you all in mind, we thought Dr. Kelly would be an excellent expert to bring on the show to share her knowledge on the body’s state of dysregulation, anxiety and high-functioning anxiety, and the “fawning” response. We discuss why so many of today’s parents feel dysregulated, overstimulated, and experience sensory overload more often than parents of previous generations. Kelly really gets to the root of why so many women feel the way they do and walks us through strategies that we can do to help feel more regulated. We hope you find this conversation with Dr. Kelly insightful, and that her actionable tips empower you to create a more regulated parenting experience.

Links and Resources:

20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping

Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT

Look for Goodwipes on Amazon or in your local grocery store!

Follow Dr. Kelly Vincent and Nourish Wellness Group on Instagram

Dr. Kelly’s Website, and Nourish Wellness Group Website

“How to Map Your Nervous System” Blog Post

Purchase Dr. Kelly’s “True You: A Self-Discovery Journal” 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

HERself turned 5 years old this month! Join us, Abby and Amy, today to hear the HERself Podcast inception story, the bumps and growth that happened along the way, and some of our all-time favorite guests and moments from the last 5 years. We know none of this could be possible without our incredible listeners, so truly, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for being a part of it! It started with an idea and has grown into this beautiful, supportive community where women can come together to get the best information from the best experts and we are so happy to be sharing this space with you all! We hope you hear some of your favorite past episodes and quotes - or that you’ll go back and re-listen to the ones that meet you where you are today. Cheers to 5 years and many more episodes to come!

Links & Resources:

10% off at BETTERHELP

Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’

Check out Maui Nui Venison and the limited HERself collection!

3. Bring on the Men: Our Husbands on Being True Partners

10. HERself Expert: Molly Millwood on Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma 

213. Greatest Hits: HERself Expert: Kristin Neff on Self Compassion and Calming Your Mean Inner Critic 

103. Nedra Tawwab on Reclaiming Yourself Through Setting Boundaries

157. Real Parenting: What To Do When the Script Doesn’t Work with Claire Lerner

178. Discipline, Fostering Resilience, and Finding Your Confidence as a Parent with Dr. Aliza Pressman

21. HERself Expert: Vanessa Marin, Sex Therapist. All Your Questions, Answered.

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

You all know by now that here at the HERself podcast, we love and prioritize our sleep - our guest even deemed us sleep advocates! Which is why we are beyond excited to bring you today’s episode with Dr. Fiona Baker, Director of SRI International’s Human Sleep Research Program. She is a leading sleep expert who graciously joins us for today’s interview where we ask her questions we received straight from you all, our HERself community! Today we will discuss aspects of sleep like the differences between men and women, how our partners impact our sleep, what to do about sleep disturbances, and more. Because sleep touches all areas of our lives, Dr Fiona shares some great tips on how we can improve our sleep too to set ourselves up for a successful day. Whether you sleep well or are a light sleeper, we hope you find some key takeaways from this episode and have a great night’s sleep!

Links & Resources:

20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping

20% off at VUORI

Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT

Follow Dr. Fiona Baker on LinkedIn

SRI International Website

National Sleep Foundation Website

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.