So you want to outgrow porn. But how? How do you change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship? Welcome to Husband Material with Drew Boa, where we answer all these questions and more! Each episode will help you achieve lasting freedom from porn more quickly and permanently—without fighting an exhausting battle. Porn is a pacifier. This podcast will help you outgrow it and become a sexually healthy man of God.
In this incredibly vulnerable episode, Nate Larkin tells the story of how he returned to lying, hiding, binge drinking, and destructive sexual behavior while leading a sexual recovery organization. You'll also hear Nate's wisdom on how to be vulnerable as a leader and the importance of telling the truth.
Nate Larkin is the founder of the Samson Society, a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility, and recovery. Learn more at samsonsociety.com
Buy Nate's book: Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men To Authentic Brotherhood
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What’s next for Husband Material? In this episode, you’ll hear the exciting new vision for how we want to help the next generation of young men and couples change their brains, heal their hearts, and save their relationships.
Here’s how you can be part of it:
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How can technology help you connect, heal, and outgrow porn? In this episode, Chandler Rogers tells his story of finding freedom through connection with others (even online) and shares what he has learned from overseeing hundreds of online groups. You'll find out what you're missing out on if you track your sobriety without tracking your recovery—and what healthy, shame-free accountability looks like.
Chandler Rogers is the CEO and co-founder of Relay, a group-based program to break free from the unhealthy system of addiction and find lasting freedom.
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How do you see yourself? Do you ever feel like a villain, like everything is your fault? Do you ever feel like a victim, overwhelmed and powerless to change your life? Do you ever feel like a hero, as if you have to succeed because the whole world is depending on you? Today, we’re talking about how to see yourself accurately and understand yourself better through three lenses: your villain story, your victim story, and your hero story. These categories are inspired by “The Karpman Drama Triangle” by Dr. Stephen B. Karpman. The original drama triangle describes common patterns in dysfunctional relationships. I’ve adapted it for the context of story work for men outgrowing porn.
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What exactly is arousal? Is it more than just sexual? In this episode, you'll learn the four types of arousal (uppers, downers, all-arounders, and deprivation) and how we use addiction to avoid intimacy ("into messy"). Along the way, you'll also find out why recovery is not a "don't touch your penis" program and how the skill of "tension holding" can transform your relationships. Great conversation!
Chris Chandler (LMHC, LPCC, EMDR, CSAT-S) is a licensed therapist, coach, and Clinical Advisor at Relay Health. He is also the founder of Christian Recovery Groups LLC, a national program helping men and women heal from compulsive and addictive behaviors through faith, community, and neuroscience-informed recovery practices. Over the past 20 years, Chris has led thousands through individual and group recovery experiences. His mission is simple: to restore people to wholeness by integrating clinical insight with authentic, Spirit-filled community because true recovery happens in relationship.
Schedule a 30-minute consultation with Chris here.
Andrew Engstrom is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with Seattle Christian Counseling, where he helps individuals and couples heal by understanding themselves better first. Andrew is certified in MDFT (a holistic approach to counseling treatment) and uses PREPARE/ENRICH in pre-marital and marital counseling. He offers support and insight for overcoming obstacles that stand in the way of forming lasting, fulfilling relationships with others and God.
Learn more and connect with Andrew here.
See a preview of Chris and Andrew's intensives here.
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In this episode, Doug and Drew explain their powerful, unique approach to psychodrama: DIRECT. You'll learn how this powerful modality can help you experience deeper healing and freedom from porn.
D.I.R.E.C.T. = Dynamic, Intuitive, Redemptive, Embodied, Communal Transformation.
Come experience D.I.R.E.C.T. at a Husband Material Healing Weekend! See all upcoming healing weekends and retreats at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
January Healing Weekend in Florida: 4 spots left. Apply here.
March Healing Weekend in Utah : FULL.
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Why do adult men need sex education? What sexual changes do men's bodies go through as we get older? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains what men need to know about low testosterone, urinary flow, sperm production, and more. You'll learn about the importance of prostate exams, the truth about penis size, the difference between sex in porn vs. sex in marriage, and other common misconceptions men have about sex.
Join us for sex education in person at the next Husband Material Retreat! husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author, and founding board member of Husband Material Ministries. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com
Buy Doug's books:
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When you're triggered or tempted to watch porn, you cannot not regulate. What you can do is choose how you will regulate. In this episode, you'll learn ten powerful grounding techniques to regulate your brain and body without porn:
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How does sex trafficking affect boys and men (not just girls and women) and what does healing look like? Hear Mike Chapman's incredible story. This episode is a taken from Mike's recent presentation, "Family-Controlled Sex Trafficking of Young Boys: One Survivor's Healing Journey" at the International Human Trafficking & Social Justice Conference.
Mike Chapman is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and family-controlled sex trafficking, and a survivor of sexual assault by clergy as a young adult. In his spiritual journey to recovery, Mike has had to battle anger, PTSD, anxiety, codependency, and addictive behaviors, including porn addiction. Mike is also a Full-Time Sign Language Interpreter and a Part-Time Santa Claus Portrayal Artist. He’s been happily married to his wife Beth for over 35 years, and they have 2 adult children – Lizzy and Mac. He and Beth live in Hubert, NC. Mike is currently a part-time Recovery Life Coach for both Polar Life Consulting and Husband Material. To find out more or to contact Mike, email him at [email protected]
Check out Mike's own podcast:
Healing for Male Survivors with Mike Chapman
Join Mike and Drew at the next Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
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How does living in a drugified world affect our brains, and what can we about it? Renowned psychiatrist Anna Lembke vulnerably shares her own story of addiction to romance novels and erotica, how digital media hijacks our brains, and what freedom practically looks like. Along the way, you'll learn the meaning of dopamine fasting, self-binding strategies, and prosocial shame. Take notes!
Dr. Anna Lembke is professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. A clinician scholar, she has published more than a hundred peer-reviewed papers, book chapters, and commentaries. She sits on the board of several state and national addiction-focused organizations, has testified before various committees in the United States House of Representatives and Senate, keeps an active speaking calendar, and maintains a thriving clinical practice.
Buy Anna's books:
Learn more about Anna at annalembke.com
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Have you ever wondered if certain sexual behaviors are okay? How do you decide what to believe and how to behave? In this episode, you'll learn 3 foundational principles of sexual ethics: integrity, intimacy, and impact.
Looking for a safe place to talk about sensitive topics?
Ask your questions in the Husband Material Community!
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