Two weeks into a new house, Deanna is still living out of boxes on purpose.

She's running a Packing Party, and while she unpacks, she's doing something that matters more than where the dishes go. She's deciding how this house will work before it fills up.

After 17 moves, she knows a house decides how it works in the first few weeks whether you're paying attention or not. So this episode is the three house rules she's putting in place, all built on one framework: if this, then that.

A real rule has two parts. A trigger you'll actually notice, and one action. "Be tidier" isn't a rule. It's a wish with a stern voice.

Rule 1, for the no: If you pick something up and know you don't want it, it goes straight into the donation bin. No setting it back down and deciding all over again next week.

Rule 2, for the surfaces: If you have a flat surface, put a container on it. A tray, a bowl, a basket. The surface isn't the problem. A surface with no boundary is the problem.

Rule 3, for the maybe: If you hesitate, it goes in the Pause Box, with a date on it. One to three months. And check the box before you buy anything new so you don't rebuy what you already own.

Also in this episode: why willpower fails exactly when you need it, why your cluttered house is a decision problem and not a caring problem, where Deanna's donation bins live while they unpack, the console tray, the entry bin, the fruit bowl, and how house hunting got her family on board with clear surfaces.

Your challenge this week: Pick one to three rules. Write them as if this, then that. Say them out loud at dinner tonight and let everyone add one.

Then come tell Deanna your house rules on Instagram @wannabeclutterfree.

Packing Party results coming at the end of October.

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/329

[Next week: decluttering, tidying, cleaning, and organizing are four different jobs]

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Five nights into a brand new house, Deanna is recording from a room full of boxes.

The furniture is up. A few kitchen things are out. Everything else is still packed. And all three members of her family are about to unpack in completely different ways.

In this episode:

• Method 1: The Packing Party (Deanna's). From Ryan Nicodemus of The Minimalists. Whatever is still in a box stays there until she reaches for it. She's giving it one month.
• Method 2: The Traditional Way (her husband's). Open the box, decide on every item, finish it, move on.
• Method 3: The Pause (her daughter's). Unpack what you love now, put the maybes in a box, and revisit them at the end of November.

Also in this episode: why moving feels so heavy even when you own less than most people, how Deanna searched every box she owns in about an hour, the sentimental things that earn their place without being useful, and why she and her husband are ready to pare down even further.

Your challenge this week: Pick the method that sounds most like you and try it on one space. Packing Party: box up a category and only take out what you need for two weeks. Traditional: empty one drawer and decide on every item. The Pause: put away what you love, box up the maybes, and date the box.

Then come tell Deanna which one you picked on Instagram @wannabeclutterfree.

Results episode coming in about a month.

Mentioned:

• Tindy, the nightly 10-minute reset app, at tindy.app
• Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
• Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com
• Check out BetterHelp and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/328

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
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Deanna Yates thought the hardest part of moving would be the packing.

It wasn't.

Nine weeks ago, her landlord told her family she was selling the house they had rented for almost five years. It was the longest they had lived anywhere, and everyday there felt like winning the lottery. Now they're packing up the whole house in less than a week.

In this solo episode, Deanna shares six mindset shifts from one of the hardest seasons her family has had in a long time. Not one of them is about her closet.

In this episode:

• Shift 1: It's never really about the stuff. Why her uneasiness came from feeling out of control
• Shift 2: Same reach, different bag. How the donation bag and the Add to Cart button come from the same place
• Shift 3: You can't declutter a feeling. What a waiting season teaches someone who likes to take action
• Shift 4: "Just in case" is just fear. The crowded Labor Day showing that flipped her into scarcity mode
• Shift 5: Stop chasing, start trusting. The late-night Zillow message that turned into keys four days later
• Shift 6: Clutter free starts in your head. Let go, create space, release your grip

Plus the question her family is asking about every item they pack.

Try this week: Pick one drawer. Pull everything out. For each item, ask: would I unpack this?

Mentioned in this episode:

How to Change by Katy Milkman

Tindy, the 10-minute nightly tidy app: tindy.app

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/327

Instagram: @wannabeclutterfree

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
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My clutter threshold broke this year.

I am a decluttering expert. Our house is not cluttered. And I still hit a wall, because we are in the middle of an unplanned move, my husband had back surgery, and I am 46 and doing most of the lifting myself.

That is the exact season I was in when Amy Nesbitt came back on the show, and I am so glad she did.

Amy is a full time corporate working mom of two boys, the creator of the This Japanese American Life YouTube channel, and the host of the Whole Wellness Mamas Summit, now in its fourth year. She is also the person who got me into summits in the first place.

This year she built the summit around four Japanese concepts, and they reframed how I am thinking about my own home.

In this episode:

• Why the popular Venn diagram version of Ikigai misses the point, and what it actually means
• Ma, the concept of intentional empty space, explained through the pause in a song
• Why your empty counter is not wasted space, and why we fight so hard to fill it
• The two minutes you sit in your car before walking in the door, and why that counts
• Kaizen, and why going smaller than feels impressive is the thing that actually sticks
• Kintsugi, the art of gold in the cracks, and why your hardest chapters are not the ones to hide
• How to bring your family into something without becoming the household nag
• Amy's answer for how she does it all, which starts with four words: it does not have to be you

Amy and I are both speaking at the Whole Wellness Mamas Summit, September 14 through 17. It is completely free, completely virtual, and you can watch in whatever you slept in. My session is How to Face the Challenge of Midlife Decluttering, which I am currently living in real time.

Grab your free seat

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/326

Find Amy: Instagram and TikTok: @wholewellnessmamas YouTube: This Japanese American Life Books: AmyNsReads

Find me: Instagram: @wannabeclutterfree Website: wannabeclutterfree.com

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
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You will get rid of more in two weeks of packing than in five years of living in the same house.

Not because you tried harder. Because the rules changed.

Deanna Yates has moved 16 times as an adult, and number 17 is happening right now, unplanned and unwanted. In this episode she breaks down exactly what moving does to your brain, and how to steal that effect without touching a single roll of packing tape.

On a normal day, everything you own is already in your home. Every item has a spot. So when you try to declutter, each thing has to argue its way OUT, and if you cannot find a good reason, it stays. That is why decluttering feels like a fight. It is why so many decisions end with "well, I have room for it."

When you move, everything comes out. And now every item has to argue its way back IN.

Same stuff. Same you. Opposite default.

Deanna hands you the one question that flips it: Would I unpack this?

In this episode:

• The real reason moving makes you ruthless (it is not motivation)
• Why "I have room for it" is the sentence that kills most decluttering sessions
• How to use the unpack question on your kid's artwork without feeling like a bad mom
• What that box you never opened from your last move is actually telling you
• Why show ready and move-in ready are not the same thing, and which one you deserve
• The five minute photo exercise that will show you exactly what feels off in a room

Plus, Deanna is taking a small group through her move-in method in real time as she packs up her own home. Six years of helping families declutter, a background in property management, and 17 moves worth of lessons. Waitlist link below.

You do not have to move to declutter like you are moving.

Homework this week: Stand in the doorway of one room. Take a wide angle photo like it is a real estate listing. Then look at it the way you would scroll past it on Zillow. It will click.

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/325 Join the move-in method waitlist: https://www.wannabeclutterfree.com/move-in-waitlist Come say hi on Instagram: @wannabeclutterfree

Next week: Amy Nesbitt on wellness, energy, and how to be a whole mom when your time is completely constrained.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
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If you're decluttering the chances are that there is a bag in your trunk right now, isn't there?

You did the hard part. You went through the closet, you made a hundred decisions in a row, you got everything bagged up and loaded in the car. And then you drove past the donation center. Twice.

The problem is that there are two decisions inside every declutter, and almost nobody warns you about the second one.

In Episode 324, Deanna is answering this question in real time. Her house is selling, her family is moving, and she is decluttering 500 items right now while her husband recovers from back surgery. Some of it is going to Buy Nothing. Some of it is going on Vinted. Some of it is going in the trash. None of it is happening perfectly, but it is happening.

She is also going to tell you the truth about where donated items actually end up, because she thinks you can handle it, and because knowing is going to make you feel better instead of worse.

In this episode:

• The two decisions inside every declutter, and which one stalls you out
• What percentage of your donations actually make it onto a thrift store shelf
• Where the rest of it goes, including the millions of garments that arrive regularly in Ghana
• How to tell in 30 seconds whether a parking lot donation bin belongs to a real charity
• The 1938 labor law behind the unease people feel about big box thrift chains, and how to research your own local one in two minutes
• Why the guilt you are carrying is not keeping a single item out of a landfill
• The donation Deanna found while volunteering that made her want to throw her hands up
• Five places your decluttered stuff can go, ranked in the order you should try them
• The new Target Textile Drop Spot that takes stained and torn clothing in every California store
• Where to send shoes, makeup empties, electronics, and batteries
• Full permission to throw away actual garbage
• Why we need a lot of people doing this imperfectly instead of a few people doing it perfectly

FREE RESOURCE:

• The Guilt-Free Exit Plan One page that tells you where anything goes, a short vetted list instead of forty links, and the 30 second donation bin check. Comment the word TRUNK on Instagram to get it, or grab it here.

LEARN MORE

• Show notes and free resource: wannabeclutterfree.com/324
• The 19 for $19 Ultimate Decluttering Bundle: wannabeclutterfree.com
• Go to https://OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply.

CONNECT

• Instagram: @wannabeclutterfree

LISTEN

• Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wannabe-clutter-free-declutter-simplify-find-freedom/id1485473251
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ATUIVONi0kyoVUKOQV4OT?si=f555de5388164b10
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@wannabeclutterfree

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
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Your house isn't cluttered. It's loud.

That single reframe changed how I look at my own home, and it comes from Myquillyn Smith, known online as The Nester.

Myquillyn has spent over twenty years helping women create homes they actually want to use. She's the author of Cozy Minimalist Home and House Rules, and her new book House Hushing is out now.

Here's what makes her different. She's a decorator, not a decluttering coach. She is not going to tell you to give up everything beautiful. She's going to show you how to turn the volume down first and let the room tell you what it actually needs.

In this episode she walks through backwards decluttering, her method that takes about twelve minutes a room and requires zero hard decisions up front. You clear the visible layer, you live in the quiet room for 48 hours, and then you only bring back what you genuinely missed. No willpower required. The room does the convincing.

We also get into why we fill up whatever space we're given, what to do about the closets you're not touching yet, and how to hush a kid's room without breaking their trust.

And I got honest with her about where my own home is right now, in a hard season, drifting. What she said back to me is the reason I'm keeping this episode close.

In this episode:

• Why "loud" lands when "cluttered" doesn't
• The photo trick that cures house blindness instantly
• All the steps of backwards decluttering
• Why the 48 hour wait does the deciding for you
• Stuff threshold vs clutter threshold
• When to finally open the closed storage
• Hosting without keeping every extra just in case
• How to hush a kid's space collaboratively
• Experiencing a season through your five senses instead of storing decor eleven months a year

Your quick win from Myquillyn: clear off your coffee table and let it be naked.

Connect with Myquillyn:

• Website: thenester.com
• Instagram: @thenester
• House Hushing is available everywhere books are sold.

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/323

Come say hi on Instagram @wannabeclutterfree and tell me which room you're hushing first.

Happy decluttering.

Our Sponsors:
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I host a decluttering podcast, and my house is full.

Not messy. Full. And I know exactly how it happened, because I have done it before.

Our landlord is selling our house. My husband is in surgery the day this episode goes live. My mom is in another round of chemo. My daughter just went back to school and does not know about the move yet.

I did not choose any of this. So I am choosing the one thing I still control.

For the next 20 days, I am radically simplifying every single thing I own. Not my husband's. Not my daughter's. Mine.

This is not the plan I wanted to make. It is the one I have. And I would love for you to make it with me.

In this episode I share:

• Why my home quietly filled back up after I sold 85 to 90 percent of what we owned
• The reason I am not touching anyone else's belongings, and why going first works better than asking
• My five rules for the 20 days, including why the maybe box has to go
• The four phase plan: the warm up, the drift zone, papers and pixels, and the hard things
• My goal of 500 items in 20 days, or 25 items a day if you want it simple
• The reframe that changed everything for me the week I found out we had to move

I have been told you are not supposed to share until you are through to the other side. I cannot do that.

So I am showing you the whole thing, in real time, starting today.

Want the tracker? DM the keyword 20 on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/wannabeclutterfree and I will send you the 500 Item Declutter Challenge tracker so you can count right alongside me.

Before you do anything else today: find five things that are yours. Just five. Put them in a bag by the door. That is day one, and you are already in it.

Next week I am talking with Myquillyn Smith, The Nester, about her new book House Hushing. I recorded that conversation standing in the middle of this very full house, and I asked her things I would not have asked a year ago.

Full show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/322

Follow along daily: @WannabeClutterFree

Listen and subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube

Go to https://OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
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You have decluttered your closets. But have you decluttered your calendar?

In this episode, Deanna sits down with Megan Sumrell, time management expert and founder of The Pink Bee, to talk about why reclaiming your time is the piece of living clutter free that most people skip. Megan spent over 20 years in corporate IT before she realized traditional time management systems were never built for women's lives, and she has spent the years since building something that actually works.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why living clutter free has to include your calendar, not just your closets
• The single biggest time thief most women never notice
• How to set up your phone so you're only interrupted for what actually matters
• Why invisible work is real work, and how to make it visible to your family
• Why a to-do list is not a plan, and what to build instead
• How a decluttered home and a decluttered schedule work together
• Why rest is not a reward, it's required

If your schedule feels just as cluttered as your closet used to, press play.

Connect with Megan Sumrell:

Podcast: Work + Life Harmony

App: The Pink Bee (App Store & Google Play, free training inside)

Instagram: @megansumrell

Connect with Deanna:

Instagram: @wannabeclutterfree

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/321

Go to https://OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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Who has soccer at 5:15? Did the permission slip go back? Is there anything defrostable for dinner? Are we out of milk again?

If every one of those answers lives in your head and nowhere else, you do not have an organization problem. You have a bottleneck problem, and the bottleneck is you.

In this episode I am sharing the session I presented at the Chaos to Calm Summit on building a family command center. It is one of my favorite things I have ever taught, because it is not about being more organized. It is about not being the only person in your house who knows what is going on.

We cover both versions, physical and digital, so you can build the one that actually fits your family instead of the one that looks good on Pinterest. I walk you through the components every command center needs, the extras that solve specific problems like the school paper avalanche, and the five steps to get yours set up this week. And with the school year and every activity schedule coming back at once, this is the week to do it.

In this episode:

• Why a family command center works as the brain of your home, and what it actually fixes
• The three components every command center needs, physical or digital
• The one physical addition that finally solves permission slips and school papers
• Why location matters more than how pretty it looks
• Why I love my Skylight calendar, and the three features to look for in any digital system
• How color coding creates instant ownership so nobody has to ask you
• Why I use a hybrid of physical and digital, and where each one earns its keep
• The five setup steps, including the fifteen minute weekly sync that holds the whole thing together
• Three bonus tips to make it stick past week two

Your next step: Pick one component. Just one. Set it up today.

Grab my free Doable Dozen guide with the 12 tasks I run every week to keep our home running, including my Daily Magic Five: https://wannabeclutterfree.com/doabledozen

Want the rest of the Chaos to Calm Summit? All 35 sessions are available here: https://wannabeclutterfree.com/summit

Next week I am talking with Megan Sumrell about time management, and it is the perfect follow-up to this one.

If this episode helped, would you tap follow and leave a quick rating? It genuinely helps other tired moms find the show.

Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wannabeclutterfree/

Full show notes: https://wannabeclutterfree.com/podcast

Go to https://OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you struggle to stick to your routines, create new habits, or find perfectionism running your life, this episode is for you.

I'm sitting down with Monica Packer, host of the top-rated About Progress podcast and author of the upcoming book Sticky Habits, for a conversation that completely reframes why habits feel so hard for busy moms.

Monica opens up about her own journey with perfectionism, and then walks us through something surprising: almost every popular habit book was written by and tested on lives that look nothing like a mother's. Most of us carry an insane amount of invisible labor every day. So when the standard advice doesn't stick, we blame ourselves, when really the method was never built for us.

Here's what we get into:

• Why perfectionism is really a misplacement of identity, and what it quietly costs us
• The invisible labor research that explains why habit advice keeps failing women
• How to redefine consistency so it's actually possible on your worst days
• The four qualities that make a habit sticky
• Monica's simple WTA formula (When, Then, After) for habits that finally hold

This is warm, validating, and full of the kind of slow, messy, sustainable growth we love around here. It pairs perfectly with the decluttering work you're already doing.

The thing Monica most wants you to know? You can change. Everyone can.

Resources mentioned:

• About Progress podcast
• Sticky Habits by Monica Packer, pre-order at stickyhabitsbook.com
• Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

Connect with Monica: Instagram: @aboutprogress Book and bonuses: stickyhabitsbook.com

Let's connect: Instagram: @wannabeclutterfree Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/319

If this episode helped you breathe a little easier, share it with a friend who's been beating herself up about her habits, and leave a quick review so more moms can find us.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
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