I want to start with something I say to burned-out moms — and I mean it every single time I say it: Your burnout makes sense. Not the kind of "makes sense" that's just being nice. The kind that means there is a real, biological, neurological explanation for why you feel the way you feel. And it started long before you became a mom. That's a nervous system that was already running on empty — and finally hit its limit.

In this episode, I'm joined by Elizabeth LeForest — AuDHD somatic coach, trauma-informed practitioner, and someone who has lived this from the inside out. We go deep, and parts of this conversation hit very close to home for me personally.

What we talk about in this episode:

• Why neurodivergent moms are often already at their nervous system limit before motherhood even begins
• What the burnout cycle actually looks like for neurodivergent women
• The cascade effect: how chronic nervous system activation starts to affect your physical health, and why so many neurodivergent women end up with chronic illness, POTS, GI issues, fatigue, and pain that nobody can fully explain
• Why co-regulation with your autistic or ADHD child is nearly impossible when you've never experienced it yourself — and what to do about it
• The brain-body disconnect: why so many neurodivergent women stop trusting their bodies from a very young age — and what healing that actually looks like
• The intergenerational piece — why we end up saying the same things to our kids that were said to us, even when we desperately don't want to, and how to change the default setting
• Why anxiety in neurodivergent women is often a symptom of nervous system dysfunction — not a life sentence — and what Elizabeth sees happen when the nervous system actually heals
• What "rest and digest" is supposed to feel like — and why so many of us have never actually experienced it
• What happens to unprocessed emotions in your body, and why closing them changes everything — including your memory, your energy, and your mental load
• Why this work is in service to your child

This episode is for you if:

• You're a mom of autistic or ADHD kids who is burned out, exhausted, and wondering why nothing you try ever feels like enough
• You grew up neurodivergent — diagnosed or not — and were taught to push through, minimize your experience, and put everyone else first
• You're a therapist or counselor supporting neurodivergent families, and you want to understand what's really happening in the nervous systems of the moms you work with
• You've been told you have anxiety, depression, or chronic illness — and something in you has always wondered if there's more to the story

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you! 🥁🥁🥁🥁

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

Learn about my private practice - North Carolina Center for Autism and ADHD

🙋🏻‍♀️ Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About Elizabeth LeForest: Elizabeth LeForest is an AuDHD somatic coach and trauma-informed practitioner who supports neurodivergent women navigating anxiety, burnout, and chronic illness. Her work blends lived experience with a nervous system-centered approach designed specifically for neurodivergent women who are ready to stop surviving and start building lives that actually work for them. If you are interested in working with Elizabeth, you can contact her here.

Let me tell you about the time I performed Madonna's "Like a Virgin" at my elementary school talent show.

I was nine. I rolled around on the floor. I sang every single word. I thought the audience was speechless because I was that talented.

I had absolutely no idea what the word virgin meant.

Nobody asked what song I'd picked. Nobody explained it to me. And I didn't know what I didn't know.

This episode is full of stories like that one — real, honest, cringe-worthy stories from my own childhood as an autistic and ADHD kid navigating a world full of words, slang, and confusing situations. The boy who told me he was going to die. The grain alcohol I almost drank because I thought grain meant rice. The weed I offered to bring to school. The roach I politely declined at a concert because I didn't smoke bugs.

These stories are funny now. But they point to something that matters enormously for every neurodivergent child. Autistic and ADHD kids are confused by language more often than most adults realize. They take words literally. They miss the social context that neurotypical kids absorb automatically. They fill in gaps with whatever information they happen to have — which sometimes leads to some unsafe situations.

And most of the time? They're not asking for help. Because asking feels risky. Because they've already been teased for not knowing things. Because they've learned — through a hundred small moments — that some questions get you in trouble. So they guess. They go along. They stay quiet and carry the confusion alone.

In this episode, I'm talking about what we can do about that — as parents, therapists, and educators. Not with a perfect script. Not with one big talk. But with something much simpler: building the felt experience, over time, that your neurodivergent child can come to you with anything.

In this episode:

• Why neurodivergent kids are navigating confusing language every single day — and why they're often not asking for help
• Real stories of what can happen when there isn't open, safe communication with autistic and ADHD kids
• Why literal language processing makes slang, innuendo, and figures of speech genuinely confusing — not an excuse
• The one simple message that matters more than any scripted conversation
• What parents and therapists can do right now to become the safe adult a neurodivergent child actually comes to

This episode is for:

• Parents of autistic and ADHD children and teens who want to open the door to safer, more honest communication
• Therapists and counselors supporting neurodivergent kids and their families
• Anyone who grew up neurodivergent and is still carrying some of these stories themselves

Note: This episode discusses sex, drugs, and related topics through personal stories. It's a good idea to listen before sharing it with your child.

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you!

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

When adults tell autistic or ADHD children to be more accountable — to take more responsibility, to stop making excuses, admit when they're wrong — I understand exactly where that's coming from. The fear underneath it is real. The exhaustion is real.

But here's what I also know: when we demand accountability and responsibility through shame, we're not teaching our neurodivergent kids anything. We're just making them feel bad about who they are.

In this episode, I'm getting honest about something most of us don't talk about — the massive gap between what parents mean when they say "accountability" and what their autistic or ADHD child actually hears. And I'm going to show you what real accountability looks like for neurodivergent kids. It doesn't involve a giant, heavy bag of shame and blame. It involves understanding, curiosity, and problem solving — together.

I've been the parent standing in front of my child saying, "You need to take responsibility." I thought I was teaching him something essential. What I was actually doing was handing him a bag of garbage and calling it a life lesson. This episode is for every parent and teacher who has done the same. And for every therapist working with autistic and adhd children and their families.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why demanding accountability from autistic and ADHD kids often backfires — and what's actually happening when a child "refuses to take responsibility."
• The garbage bag metaphor: what happens when shame and blame get passed back and forth between parent and child — and how to put it down
• Real examples and what actually helped
• 5 ways to teach real accountability without shame, including how to separate the action from the person, how to use curiosity instead of blame, and how to teach missing skills without saying "you should know this by now."
• Why "I forgot" and "she was bothering me" are not excuses — they're a child trying to communicate
• What happens to neurodivergent kids who grow up in a shame-based accountability culture — and why it matters
• How to repair it when you've already shamed your child in the name of responsibility (because you will, and have I)
• What therapists need to ask when a parent says their child needs to be more accountable

This episode is for you if:

• You're a parent of an autistic child and/or ADHD child who struggles with responsibility, follow-through, or "making excuses."
• You're a therapist, school counselor, or psychologist supporting neurodivergent children and their families
• You grew up being told you made excuses — and it still weighs on you.

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you!

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here

Therapists click here

Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses

Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

ADHD & Autism: Why Chores Are So Hard and How To Teach Chores in a Way That Actually Works:)

Why do chores turn into power struggles in so many ADHD and autistic families?

It's not laziness. It's not defiance. And it's definitely not a character flaw.

In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Holly Blanc Moses sits down with adolescent psychologist Dr. Cam Caswell to unpack why chores feel like a nightmare for neurodivergent kids and teens.

If you're parenting a child with ADHD or autism and struggling with:

• Executive functioning challenges
• Chore refusal
• Emotional meltdowns over "simple" tasks
• Fear about your child's future
• Power struggles at home

This conversation will change how you see chores forever.

You'll learn:

✔ Why chasing compliance actually builds resentment ✔ The difference between responsibility and obedience ✔ How executive functioning impacts task initiation ✔ Why chores are an adult priority (not a teen priority) ✔ How to teach life skills without shame ✔ A neurodiversity-affirming approach to building ownership ✔ How to reduce conflict while increasing competence

This episode is essential listening for:

• Parents of ADHD and/or autistic children and teens
• Therapists and psychologists working with neurodivergent families
• Educators
• Parenting coaches

If you want to raise responsible, confident kids without damaging connection — this episode is for you!

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you!

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses

Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About Dr. Cam

Dr. Cam Caswell, PhD—"The Teen Translator"—is an adolescent psychologist, parenting coach, TEDx speaker, and host of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast. With over 20 years of experience and a teen of her own, Dr. Cam combines professional expertise with personal insight to help parents stop yelling, start connecting, and rebuild trust at home. With over 330K followers on Instagram, she's a trusted voice for parents who want practical, compassionate support, not more guilt. As one parent shared, "I learned more in 20 minutes than in 4 years of struggling with my teen."

Her mission: Empower parents. Uplift teens. Transform families.

Why are morning routines and bedtime routines so hard for ADHD and autistic kids?

If your mornings feel chaotic… If bedtime turns into battles… If you've tried "sleep hygiene," reward charts, reminders, and it still falls apart…

This episode is for you.

In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Dr. Peyton Gemmell to talk about why routines are especially difficult for neurodivergent kids and teens — and what actually helps.

Here's what I need you to hear:

It's not laziness. It's not defiance. It's executive functioning, sensory processing, transitions, and overwhelm.

We break down:

• Why morning chaos happens in ADHD and autistic children • How executive functioning impacts routines • Why traditional sleep hygiene advice often isn't enough • The role of sensory regulation in bedtime struggles • How to identify which part of the routine is actually hard • Simple, practical systems that reduce overwhelm (including a powerful visual basket strategy) • How to reduce shame while building real-life skills

We also talk about something parents don't hear enough:

The same routine will not work forever.

Neurodivergent brains need toolkits — not rigid systems.

Whether you're a parent, therapist, educator, or a neurodivergent adult trying to build sustainable routines, this episode offers practical, compassionate strategies rooted in neurodiversity-affirming care.

If you're tired of feeling frustrated before 8am… If you want to support your child without increasing shame… If you're ready for systems that actually make sense…

Press play.

Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you!

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses

Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About Peyton Gemmell

Dr. Peyton Gemmell is an occupational therapist and founder of Light Minded OT, where she specializes in supporting teen girls and women with ADHD. She supports clients in strengthening executive functioning skills, navigate sensory processing differences, and build sustainable daily routines. Her work focuses on practical skill development and environmental modification to reduce overwhelm and improve participation in school, home, and community life. Peyton is passionate about helping teen show up the way they want and need to in day to day life.

What if the problem isn't motivation… but misunderstanding?

In this episode, we dive deep into executive functioning and the powerful role of "why" in understanding ADHD and neurodivergent children and teens.

Joining me is Dani Donovan — ADHD advocate, comic artist, and author of The Anti-Planner — for an honest and validating conversation about procrastination, overwhelm, shame, and the myth of laziness.

If you've ever thought:

• "Why won't they just do it?"
• "They know what to do — so why aren't they doing it?"
• "Am I doing something wrong as a parent?"
• "Why does trying harder not work?"

This episode is for you.

We explore:

• Why executive functioning struggles are not laziness
• The critical difference between knowing and doing
• Why shame never improves behavior
• How misunderstanding leads to blame
• The emotional experience of ADHD
• Why "trying harder" is not a strategy
• How asking "why?" changes everything
• Practical ways to shift from frustration to curiosity
• Why understanding must come before intervention

For parents, this conversation offers relief and clarity.

For therapists and clinicians, it reinforces the importance of neurodiversity-affirming, emotionally attuned support that reduces shame and builds capacity.

When we understand the why behind executive functioning challenges, we stop seeing a "problem child" — and start seeing a nervous system that needs support.

Because if they could, they would.

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses

Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About Dani Donovan

Dani Donovan is an ADHD content creator, public speaker, and author of The Anti-Planner. Through her viral comics and practical tools, she helps people better understand executive functioning, productivity struggles, and the emotional experience of living with ADHD. Make sure to get The Anti-Planner (clean version) and The Anti-Planner (original version)

When I was in first grade, I had a plan for Valentine's Day. A very thoughtful, very Holly plan.

Every classmate was getting a Valentine. But not every classmate was getting the same coin taped inside.

There were the quarter kids. The dime kids. The nickel kids. The penny kids. And one classmate got nothing.

My teacher was not happy. My parents were not happy. And not one single adult that day asked me why I did it.

That part — the part where no one asked — is what this episode is really about.

In this episode, I talk about:

▸ The full story of the Valentine's Day coin system (and why, at seven years old, it made complete sense to me) ▸ What actually happens in a child's nervous system and sense of self when adults skip curiosity and go straight to correction ▸ Why neurodivergent kids stop explaining themselves — and what we accidentally teach them when we don't listen ▸ The one thing I wish an adult had said to me that day — and how you can say it to the kids in your life ▸ A direct challenge: How do YOU want to show up in the next hard moment?

This episode is for parents, therapists, and educators who want to be the person an autistic and adhd child actually feels safe with. The one who asks before they assume. The one who listens before they correct.

It's also for anyone who grew up being the kid that no one asked. You'll know who you are.

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

People Pleasing Is Dangerous for Autistic & ADHD Kids: What Parents and Therapists Need to Know

People pleasing is often labeled as being kind, flexible, or mature. But for autistic and ADHD children and teens, people pleasing is often something else entirely.

It's a self-protective survival strategy—one rooted in fear of rejection, emotional pain, and the belief that their needs are "too much."

In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I talk about why people pleasing is especially risky for neurodivergent kids and teens, how it develops, and the early warning signs adults often miss.

I also share a very real moment from my own life—standing in a grocery store with no water at home, right before a major ice storm—and how that moment revealed just how powerful (and dangerous) people pleasing can be, even after a year of hard work.

This episode is for parents, therapists, and educators who want to support autistic and ADHD children and teens in building safety, boundaries, and self-trust—without pushing them into burnout.

In this episode, I cover:

• What people pleasing really looks like in autistic and ADHD children and teens
• Why people-pleasing is closely connected to masking and emotional safety
• Early warning signs, including over-apologizing and difficulty saying no
• How people pleasing is often unintentionally reinforced by adults and peers
• Why people pleasing increases burnout, anxiety, and vulnerability in relationships
• How supporting capacity and boundaries can reduce meltdowns and shutdowns

If you've ever worried that teaching boundaries might make a child "too rigid" or "selfish," this episode offers a compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming reframe.

🎧 Listen now and share with another parent, therapist, or educator supporting autistic and ADHD kids and teens.

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

About Holly Blanc Moses Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

We use the word friend all the time—at school, at home, on the playground. "Line up, friends." "We don't hit our friends." "That's my friend from work." It sounds warm and inclusive, and it's almost always said with good intentions.

But for many autistic and ADHD children, language is taken literally. When we tell them everyone is their friend, they believe us. And then they expect those people to act like friends—to include them, play with them, and treat them kindly. When that doesn't happen, the confusion can turn into hurt, self-blame, anxiety, and even depression.

In this episode, I break down why overusing the word friend can be especially harmful for neurodivergent children—and how it can unintentionally teach them to ignore their own experiences or accept mistreatment. I share real-life examples from classrooms, playgrounds, and therapy spaces, including what happens when a child asks, "Are you my friend?" and the answer doesn't match the actions.

We'll talk about:

*Why autistic and ADHD children often take friendship language literally

*How some children are bullied through "pretend friendship."

*Why teaching actions of a friend is more helpful than using labels

*How to help children notice when friendship behaviors change and know who to go to for help

*A simple visual circles model that teaches self-friendship, boundaries, and different levels of connection

*Why we need to be cautious with questions like "Who's your best friend?"

*How society's message that "more friends = more value" can deeply harm neurodivergent kids

*And why being a good friend to yourself is just as important as having friends around you

I also share examples from my own adult friendships to show that real friendship doesn't look one way—and that closeness, frequency, and intensity can all vary and still be meaningful.

If you're a parent, educator, or mental health professional supporting autistic or ADHD children, this episode offers a compassionate reframe and practical language shifts that can reduce confusion, protect emotional safety, and support healthier relationships.

Because being precise with our language doesn't make kids less kind—it makes them safer. And safety is where real connection begins.

🎧 If you find this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with a parent, therapist or teacher, and leaving a 5-star review so more people can find the podcast. The more people we can reach, the more neurodivergent children we can help:)

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast.

About Holly Blanc Moses Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

"Bossy." "Rude." "Demanding." "Has an attitude."

If your autistic or ADHD child keeps getting these labels from teachers, family members, other parents or even yourself - this episode is for you.

As an AuDHD psychologist, I see this pattern and how it silences the voices of neurodivergent children. destroying children's voices every single day.

In this episode, I'll show you:

• What's REALLY happening when your neurodivergent child speaks directly
• Why YOUR nervous system reacts so strongly to their tone (and why that matters)
• The devastating long-term impact of constantly correcting tone
• The 4-Step approach that changes everything (with real examples you can use TODAY)
• How to repair when you get it wrong

This isn't about letting kids "be rude." It's about understanding the difference between directness and disrespect - and protecting your child's ability to advocate for themselves.

I'm excited to share this episode with you and share about an incredible workshop - "A Better 2026: A Gentle Reset for Overwhelmed Parents of Neurodivergent Children."

If you are ready to learn how to make 2026 lighter, you'll want to register right away! Can't wait to see you there:)

PARENTS CLICK HERE

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

You are going to LOVE this guide!

Thank you for your advocacy!

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning continuing education credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast.

About Holly Blanc Moses Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

https://www.youtube.com/@autismadhdtvwithhollySensory experiences shape how neurodivergent kids feel, think, and show up in the world — and when those experiences are overwhelming, confusing, or dismissed, the emotional toll can be enormous.

In today's rebroadcast, Holly Blanc Moses (AuDHD therapist, evaluator, and mom) gets deeply personal, sharing powerful stories from her own childhood and adulthood that reveal what sensory differences really feel like from the inside. From the "sock struggle" to being pushed into a pool, to finally standing under a waterfall at 50 years old—Holly opens the door to understanding sensory experiences in a way that is validating, compassionate, and unforgettable.

Whether you're a parent, therapist, or educator, this episode will help you see big reactions, meltdowns, refusals, or "sensitivities" through an entirely new lens: ✨ One rooted in sensory distress, not misbehavior. ✨ One grounded in emotional safety, not compliance. ✨ One that teaches us to believe kids—even when we don't fully understand.

Because when we understand sensory needs, we understand the child.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

What sensory overload actually feels like for many autistic and ADHD individuals

Why sensory distress often leads to emotional dysregulation or meltdowns

How invalidation ("You're being dramatic") impacts long-term emotional wellbeing

Why believing kids' sensory experiences improves trust, attachment, and regulation

Holly's personal sensory stories (you may see your child or client in them!)

Who This Episode Is For:

✔ Parents of autistic & ADHD children ✔ Mental health therapists ✔ Educators, school staff, and support professionals ✔ Anyone who wants to better understand sensory differences and emotional regulation

If you've ever wondered, "Why does this tiny thing create such a big reaction?" — this episode will give you the clarity and compassion you've been searching for.

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you!

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside: 📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

You are going to LOVE this guide!

Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here

⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

Therapists click here

⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A

Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.

Parents, click here for your masterclasses

❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)

Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals

Subscribe, Support & Share 📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast.

About Holly Blanc Moses Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.