This week I’m talking with Jaye Lin — ADHD podcaster and community builder — who brings a uniquely grounded perspective on what it actually takes to work with our brains instead of constantly trying to outsmart them. I got to know Jaye at the 2024 ADHD Conference in Anaheim, where we met at a party hosted by the Attention Different crew (that’s an upcoming podcast with them as well). It was great because I had already been introduced to Jaye through her excellent podcast on Understood.org Tips From an ADHD Coach on the MissUnderstood: ADHD in Women channel. And it turns out she’s been a long-time listener of this show, so some great serendipity with us running into each other.

Jaye is a former Google Administrative Business Partner, where she co-founded the ADHD-Women@Google employee resource group and became their first ADHD-trained peer coach. She has recently returned to corporate life but is still coaching, advocating and podcasting on the side.

In our conversation, Jaye walks us through the concept of the Optimization Trap — a sneaky little loop that many ADHDers fall into where we spend so much time planning and perfecting an idea that we burn out before we ever start. We get into why finishing often matters more than perfecting, the cognitive cost of creative over-planning. We also talk about how optimization shows up in everyday life: at work, in relationships, when packing for a trip, or even when choosing a podcast mic.

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This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. Optimize for completion, not perfection. Focus on what will get the task done, not the flashiest or most complex version of it.

   2. Try setting a timer for the planning phase. If you are having trouble with optimization, try giving yourself a set amount of time, maybe an hour, so you don’t get stuck endlessly researching or brainstorming.

   3. Be sure to schedule regular reevaluations of your planning. We don’t want to get stuck with an outdated plan that we’re not really using. Make time by putting it in your calendar to reassess whether your current path is still the one you want to be on.

In this episode, we’re doing something a little different. I want to play you an episode of another show that I think you will like. It’s called Climbing the Walls. This 6-part series investigates why women with ADHD have gone undiagnosed for so long… and how that changed dramatically during the pandemic, when the diagnosis of ADHD in women skyrocketed. The show asks: why women? Why now? How has underdiagnosis impacted women’s mental health?

I checked out the first episode, and I know I’m supposed to say something professional here, but honestly, my first thoughts were, “Oh my god, this is so good.”

Understood sent me the first two episodes to listen to and… now I’m just going to have the wait for the rest of the series to come out, because this is definitely something worth listening to and I just can’t wait to get to the next episode. If you’re a woman with ADHD, this is a series you’re going to want to catch, and even if you’re not, it’s still worth it.

Be sure to subscribe to Climbing The Walls wherever you get your podcasts!

Hey Team!

Today's episode is all about navigating ADHD as a late-diagnosed adult—especially for women who have spent years pushing through life without realizing why things felt so much harder. I’m talking with Kate Moryoussef, a UK-based ADHD coach who was diagnosed at 40 and has since made it her mission to help women work with their brains, not against them. She hosts The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast and her upcoming book is The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit, where she dives deep into strategies for managing ADHD beyond just productivity hacks.

In this conversation, we get into the realities of late diagnosis, why ADHD in women is often overlooked, and how hormones can throw an extra curveball into the mix. Kate shares her personal journey of discovering ADHD through her daughter’s assessment, and we talk about how self-compassion, nervous system regulation, and finding the right support can make a huge difference. There’s a lot here about understanding ADHD as a whole-body experience—not just something that affects focus or productivity.

This is another one where I had the wrong mic set up, so apologizes for that.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/218

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This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. Especially for women, work on understanding the role of hormones. ADHD symptoms can intensify during certain phases of the menstrual cycle or perimenopause, and awareness of these fluctuations can help with better self-regulation. And, hey, ADHD men, you also have hormones that can fluctuate.
   2. Instead of constantly pushing yourself to meet neurotypical expectations, recognizing that ADHD comes with different needs can be a game-changer. Avoid forcing yourself into rigid productivity schedules, and try to recognize your natural rhythms to make work and life feel easier.
   3. Finding ADHD-friendly ways to approach tasks (instead of just trying to "be more disciplined") leads to better long-term success. You don’t have to overhaul your entire life—focusing on little shifts, like setting boundaries or adjusting your expectations, can create lasting improvements.

Hey Team!

In this episode, I'm sitting down with Kelly Smith, a yoga and meditation teacher who has ADHD herself and has guided over 23 million meditations through her incredibly popular podcast, Mindful In Minutes. Kelly walks us through why meditation is especially beneficial for the ADHD brain, what to realistically expect from starting a meditation practice, and how even just a few minutes a day can sharpen your focus, reduce impulsivity, and make executive functioning a bit less exhausting.

We explore practical advice on how to start meditating, even when you’re convinced it’s not your thing, and break down the misconceptions that keep a lot of us with ADHD from ever even giving meditation a try. Kelly shares her insights on the best meditation styles for ADHD brains and introduces us to practices like yoga nidra that go beyond the mat and offer deep restorative rest—something I’m pretty sure we all could use more of.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/217

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This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. Start small and aim for just 5-8 minutes of meditation daily. Research shows even short practices can significantly benefit the ADHD brain. Choose a simple focus, like your breath or a body scan, to help redirect your wandering mind.
   2. Remember, meditation isn't about silencing thoughts. Accept that distractions will happen, and when you notice them, just gently try to bring your attention back to the practice itself.
   3. Try performing regular mindful check-ins by simply pausing, taking a breath, and asking yourself honestly, "How am I doing right now?”

Hey team!

Today, we dive deep with Dr. Devon Price, a social psychologist known for his groundbreaking work on neurodiversity and societal expectations. Dr. Price, who identifies as transgender and autistic, brings a wealth of experience and personal insight to our discussion, focusing on the complexities of masking in neurodivergent individuals. Price graduated with a BA in psychology and political science from Ohio State University in 2009, and he obtained his MS and PhD from Loyola University Chicago, where he has been teaching as a clinical assistant professor at the School of Continuing and Professional Studies since 2012. You can find Dr. Price’s research in journals such as the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and the Journal of Positive Psychology.

Dr. Price is also the author of the books Laziness Does Not Exist, Unmasking Autism, and Unlearning Shame. His new book Unmasking for Life is set to be released on March 25th - so if you’re listening to this when it comes out tomorrow.

I imagine with those book titles; you might have a good sense of where this episode is heading - although I will say that despite Dr. Price’s focus on autism, these concepts absolutely apply to ADHD as well, and we definitely get into how they differ. In this episode, we explore the survival strategies behind masking and how these can morph into rigid personas that are hard to shed. We also unpack the nuances of camouflage and compensation in social interactions, the strategic yet often oppressive need to conform, and strategies for managing and minimizing masking in daily life. Dr. Price's expertise is not only academic; his lived experience enriches our understanding of these dynamics, making this episode a must-listen for anyone navigating the intricacies of neurodivergence.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/216

This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. It’s important to recognize masking as a tool that is not inherently good or bad. With that in mind, we can make conscious choices about how and when we want to be masking.
   2. While it can be hard to find places to authentically be yourself and unmask, it’s important to find these spaces. These can be with friends and family, or if those are hard to find, there are many online communities to explore.
   3. For some, consistently masking can make it hard to remember who is under the mask. To help remove that mask, you can gradually work on introducing authentic traits or behaviors in safe spaces to reduce the psychological strain of constant masking.
   4. Additionally, you can consider professional guidance to help with unmasking, focusing on therapy that respects and understands neurodivergent experiences.

Hey Team!

This week I’m talking with Vanessa Gorelkin, a seasoned occupational therapist and ADHD coach who’s been working in the field for nearly 30 years. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Brandeis (Bran-Dice) University and a Master's degree in Occupational Therapy from New York University. She specializes in executive function strategies, emotional regulation, and anxiety management, and she brings a unique perspective to helping adults with ADHD navigate the day-to-day.

In this episode, we talk about why people with ADHD struggle with even the things they want to do, how anxiety and executive dysfunction team up to make life extra frustrating, and why strategies that work for a while inevitably stop working. We also dig into emotional regulation, how to break down tasks so they actually feel doable, and why giving yourself a crisis plan before you need it can make a huge difference.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/215

This Episode's Top Tips

1. If something feels overwhelming, try breaking it down into micro-steps. Even something like getting out of bed can be broken into “sit up,” “put feet on the floor,” and “stand up.” In more practical ways, we could think of this as starting out as just opening the document you need to work on, adding the formatting, and starting your first sentence. The idea is you want to build momentum and go with the flow.

2. Be mindful of language; words like "just" and "should" can be damaging. Instead of “I should just wash the dishes,” you can reframe it as “I could wash the dishes,” and then also if you need a little bit more asking yourself, “What’s making this difficult, and how can I work with it?”

3. It’s important to have a crisis plan ready before you need it. When emotional overwhelm hits, it’s hard to think through what you need. You can pre-plan strategies like a weighted blanket, a favorite show, or calling a friend so you don’t have to figure it out at the moment.

Hey Team!

We’re back for part two of my conversation with Russ Jones, host of the ADHD Big Brother podcast and head of his community-based ADHD coaching of the same name. In this half of the conversation, we get into the nitty-gritty of how to actually get yourself to do the things you know you need to do—whether that’s tackling laundry, setting (and remembering) goals, or just getting yourself unstuck when ADHD inertia takes over.

We talk about how traditional goal-setting can fail for ADHDers (and to try and flip that around), why accountability makes everything more manageable, and how structuring tasks in a fun, interest-driven way makes all the difference. Russ also shares some of his best hacks for dealing with executive dysfunction, including gamifying chores, breaking through mental resistance, and using community as a force multiplier for motivation.

Now, you don’t have to listen the first half of our conversation to get a lot out of this episode, but just know that this is part two.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/214

All right, keep on listening to find out how to build momentum, follow through, and stop getting stuck at the starting line.

This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. When you’re stuck in a rut, having people who believe in you (even when you don’t believe in yourself) is a game-changer. This is one of the places where having a strong community can really help you flourish.
   2. Traditional goal-setting doesn’t always work. If you're finding yourself stuck, try a “Reverse Mountain” Approach: Instead of imagining the goal at the top, imagine yourself at the top and let momentum pull you down, guiding your each next step towards your goal.
   3. If something is “important but boring,” find a way to inject fun, novelty, or urgency to make it engaging. If the task still feels unbearable, set a 10-minute timer and see how far you get. If you still don’t want to do it, try switching things up and find an approach that does work.

Hey team!

Joining me today is Russ Jones, the host of the ADHD Big Brother podcast and founder of an ADHD coaching community that helps adults get out of their heads and into action. Russ is an actor and comedian, a background that shines through into his work giving his content relatability and charisma.

Russ and I really got into our talk and so I’ve ended up splitting this episode into two parts.

In this first half of the conversation, we get into why so many of us struggle to turn knowledge into real-life change and how a strong ADHD community can provide the structure and support we need to actually follow through. Russ also shares insights from his own journey—like how quitting a 20-year nicotine addiction helped him discover the power of daily community support.

If you’ve ever struggled with consistency, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/213

All right, keep on listening to find out how community coaching can provide the structure and support to help you actually follow through.

This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. ADHDers love collecting information (tips, tricks, hacks), but we can often struggle to implement it—having a community to provide some accountability is a great way to help bridge that gap.
   2. Having consistent, low-pressure accountability (like daily check-ins) can often work better than big coaching sessions spaced out over weeks, where we’re scrambling to get to that thing we said we’d do right before our session.
   3. Community support works best when you’re actively engaged. You get out so much when you’re engaging with your community.

Over the last few weeks, it has been increasingly difficult for me to keep myself focused on what I want to be focused on. I don’t think I have to particularly speak to the reasons; we’re all handling the state of the world in our own ways - in many ways, it has a similar feel to the beginning of the pandemic, where I felt like I needed to pay extra attention to the news because so many people around me were ignoring the alarm bells.

Trying to deal with all of this while also having to grapple with the cognitive dissonance of having to go on with real life while all of this is also going on at the same time can be incredibly difficult. It feels like we should be able to press pause on all the other things going on in our life. 

But regardless of how we feel, time marches on.

In today’s episode, we’re tackling how to navigate life when focus feels impossible, why we turn to numbing when we’re overwhelmed, and most importantly, how we can break out of that cycle in a way that actually supports us.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/212

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This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. More than anything, I want to remind everyone to give themselves grace when they’re going through something. We’re not always going to get it right, but being hard on ourselves is never the right answer.
   2. Throughout your day, take a moment to check in with how you’re feeling. We tend to ignore our feelings until they become something we have to deal with.
   3. Forget the "Go big or go home" mentality. Tiny changes—like five minutes of mindful breathing or a short walk—are more effective than drastic, unrealistic plans.
   4. When everything feels overwhelming, find support. Whether it’s a friend, an online group, or a therapist, you don’t have to handle everything alone.

Hey team!

This episode, we’re doing something a bit different—I want to share an episode of another podcast with you. It’s called ADHD Aha! and it’s hosted by Laura Key.

You may remember that last year I actually had the chance to be a guest on ADHD Aha!

But if you haven’t heard it before, ADHD Aha! is all about those moments when people finally connect the dots on their ADHD—those “oh, that’s why I do that” realizations. Each episode dives into real, candid stories from people with ADHD, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll probably hear something that makes you go, “Yep, that’s way too relatable.”

Even in the episode I’m about to share with you, I had a number of times I went, “Oh… oh!”

In this episode, Laura talks with Matthew Raghunauth, an artist and UX designer, about his late ADHD diagnosis and how it completely shifted the way he saw himself. They dig into the struggle of prioritizing tasks, the spiral of catastrophizing, and the unique challenges that come with asking for help—especially when you’ve spent years thinking you just needed to try harder. I particularly liked the way Matthew framed how taking care of his ADHD was growing up and the mature thing for him to do.

It’s a great conversation, and I think you’re going to get a lot out of it. 

To listen to more episodes, search for ADHD AHA! in your podcast app or just click here.

Hey Team!

Today, I’m talking with Dr. Ryan Sultan, a distinguished psychiatrist specializing in ADHD, anxiety, depression, and substance use disorders. He serves as an Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University Irving Medical Center and the New York State Psychiatric Institute. Dr. Sultan is a Senior Psychiatrist at Integrative Psych.

And he has also been exploring the evolutionary basis for ADHD. Now, let’s get to a few things up front here because often when I hear about evolution and ADHD, I know I’m about to hear something about ADHD as a superpower.

That’s not what this conversation is about today. While we will be looking at how ADHD traits might have been useful in a pre-industrial world and why natural selection didn’t weed out our distractible, impulsive brains, the focus is more on how those brains thrived within society instead of looking at them in isolation. This means that our conversation mostly focuses on how these ADHD traits work in conjunction within society rather than trying to view them either negatively or positively. And then we also get into how understanding this evolutionary basis for ADHD can help us understand better ways of managing and treating ADHD.

You can check out Dr. Sultan’s work here: https://www.integrative-psych.org/

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This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. Regarding the evolutionary basis of ADHD, avoid thinking of it in terms of better or worse and instead try to see how ADHD traits can serve the community as a whole.
   2. With that lens in mind, the impulsivity, novelty-seeking, and hyper-focus of ADHD brains could have been advantages in early human societies, especially for hunting, exploring, and problem-solving in unpredictable environments. With the opposite from the structured, repetitive, sit-still-and-focus world we live in today giving us more difficulties because it wasn’t “designed” with the ADHD brain in mind.
   3. Neurodiversity can benefit everyone. Societies thrive on diverse thinking styles. ADHD brains bring creativity, spontaneity, and out-of-the-box problem-solving, which can be a huge asset when properly supported. We’re better when we work together.