Unlock Deeper Intimacy & Connection With Thais Gibson This Boxing Week. Start Your Free 7-day Trial and Get the Attachment Styles & Sex Course ($250 Value) Free for Life.
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/boxing-week?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=boxing-week&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=aUrPwa0KzOI&utm_content=yt-12-20-25&el=podcast

Moving in together can feel like a major relationship milestone, but when one partner has a Dismissive Avoidant attachment style, it can also surface unexpected challenges.

In this episode, Thais Gibson and co-host Mike DiZio walk through what to realistically expect when you first move in with a Dismissive Avoidant, why certain behaviors show up, and how to navigate this transition without taking things personally or creating unnecessary conflict.

If you’re considering moving in with a Dismissive Avoidant, or already have, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and practical strategies.

Living together often fast-tracks couples into the power struggle stage of relationships, and Dismissive Avoidants can feel especially activated by this shift. In this episode, you’ll learn why Dismissive Avoidants may retreat, equate comfort with love, struggle with compromise, and fear expectations, even when they deeply care about their partner.

Thais and Mike explore:
✅ Why Dismissive Avoidants need space to regulate emotionally
✅ How fear of being trapped can show up after moving in
✅ Why conflict feels especially threatening in their home environment
✅ How unconscious habits from hyper-independence impact cohabitation
✅ What conversations must happen in advance to prevent resentment

Most importantly, this episode emphasizes that these patterns are understandable, workable, and not signs that the relationship is doomed, especially when both partners are willing to communicate and do the healing work.

Key Takeaways

✅ Dismissive Avoidants often retreat into personal space to self-regulate after moving in
✅ Comfort and routine may be interpreted as love, leading to unintentional complacency
✅ Fear of expectations can cause emotional withdrawal, not loss of care
✅ Avoiding conflict temporarily increases long-term tension
✅ Compromise and shared habits must be consciously built, not assumed
✅ Clear conversations before moving in reduce fear, shutdown, and resentment

Timestamps

00:00 – Introduction
03:17 – 1. Dismissive Avoidants Retreat to Their Own Space for Emotional Distance
21:34 – 7-Day Free Trial Promo
22:25 – 2. Dismissive Avoidants Equate Comfort With Love
31:06 – 3. Dismissive Avoidants Fear Expectation and Being Trapped
43:22 – 4. Dismissive Avoidants Retreat to Avoid Conflict
48:33 – 5. Dismissive Avoidants Struggle with Compromise
51:14 – 6. Dismissive Avoidants Are Protective of Their Belongings
51:14 – Live With Them for a Few Days Before Moving in
1:00:04 – Subscribe and Follow For More

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#DismissiveAvoidant #AttachmentTheory #AvoidantAttachment #CommitmentIssues #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #RelationshipHealing #SecureAttachment #DatingAdvice

Start Healing Your Attachment Style With Personalized Courses Taught by Thais Gibson. Free for 7 Days (Enough Time to Complete a Full Course). Limited-Time Offer
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=aIKk1oX3_YE&utm_content=yt-12-19-25&el=podcast

Dismissive Avoidants don’t commit because they’re pressured, convinced, or chased. In fact, those approaches usually push them further away. Commitment happens when specific emotional conditions are met, conditions rooted in their childhood conditioning, core fears, and unmet needs.

In this episode, Thais Gibson explains the real reasons Dismissive Avoidants propose, marry, and invest long-term and why these patterns often surprise people who are dating or loving them.

In this video, Thais breaks down the four core drivers behind long-term commitment for Dismissive Avoidants, drawing from attachment theory, conditioning, and years of clinical experience.

You’ll learn:

Why Dismissive Avoidants are often trying to avoid breakups more than commitment itself
How pressure triggers autonomy wounds and emotional shutdown
How childhood conditioning shapes their beliefs about relationships and marriage
Why many Dismissive Avoidants secretly fear they “can’t do” relationships
The deep shame wound that makes them fear being truly seen
The emotional needs that help dismissive avoidants feel safe enough to commit

This episode also explains what actually helps move the relationship forward, without suppressing your own needs or walking on eggshells.

✨ Key Takeaways

✔ Dismissive avoidants often fear commitment because they associate closeness with pain
✔ Pressure triggers rebellion, not security
✔ Relationship beliefs are shaped by childhood environments — not objective reality
✔ Many dismissive avoidants fear they are defective or incapable of relationships
✔ Acceptance, direct communication, and emotional stability increase safety
✔ Commitment grows when relationships feel predictable, non-shaming, and emotionally safe

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – What Makes Dismissive Avoidants Commit Long-Term?
00:24 – Dismissive Avoidants Avoid Breakups
02:43 – Dismissive Avoidant Don’t Like Being Pressured
03:56 – Our Perception is Conditioned by the Environment We Grew Up in
06:16 – 7-Day Free Trial Promo
07:07 – Dismissive Avoidant Fear They Can’t “Do” Relationships
09:09 – Dismissive Avoidant Fear Being “Found Out” as Shameful or Defective
10:05 – Needs of the Dismissive Avoidant
13:01 – Comment and Subscribe

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#DismissiveAvoidant #AttachmentTheory #AvoidantAttachment #CommitmentIssues #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #RelationshipHealing #SecureAttachment #DatingAdvice

Start Healing Your Attachment Style & Unlock Your Core Needs. Free for 7 Days + Bonus Course for Life!
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-free-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-free-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=2iAB3SwfKMY&utm_content=yt-12-17-25&el=podcast

How Do You Actually Bond With a Dismissive Avoidant, Without Losing Yourself?

If you’ve ever felt confused, disconnected, or like you’re walking on eggshells in a relationship with a Dismissive Avoidant, this video is for you. Bonding is possible, but only when it’s done in a way that honors both your needs and theirs.

In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the real core needs that make dismissive avoidants feel safe, connected, and bonded, while also showing you how to communicate your own needs without self-abandoning or creating resentment .

In This Video, You’ll Learn:

Why unmet needs quietly starve relationships over time
What Dismissive Avoidants are truly afraid of in closeness
How to communicate needs without triggering withdrawal
Why appreciation, empathy, and understanding matter more than grand gestures
How safety, stability, and certainty create lasting emotional bonds

Key Takeaways:

✔ Dismissive Avoidants bond through clear boundaries, autonomy, and emotional safety
✔ Concrete communication prevents misunderstandings and fear-based withdrawal
✔ Appreciation works best when it’s sincere, specific, and grounded
✔ Empathy and understanding meet deep unmet inner-child needs
✔ Healthy relationships require mutual needs to be acknowledged and met

⏱ Timestamps:

00:00 – What Makes Dismissive Avoidants Feel Bonded?
01:26 – The Significance of Needs
03:04 – 1. Dismissive Avoidants Need a Sense of Autonomy, Independence, and Freedom
05:17 – Needs Course Promo
06:10 – 2. Dismissive Avoidants Want to Feel Understanding in the Relationship
07:16 – 3. Dismissive Avoidants Need Appreciation and Acknowledgement
09:17 – 4. Dismissive Avoidants Need Empathy
10:09 – 5. Dismissive Avoidants Need Certainty, Stability, and Safety

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#AttachmentStyles #DismissiveAvoidant #HealingAttachment #PersonalDevelopment #Relationships #EmotionalNeeds #ThaisGibson

Start Healing Your Attachment Style & Unlock Your Core Needs. Free for 7 Days + Bonus Course for Life! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-free-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-free-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-12-13-25&el=podcast

The Fearful Avoidant attachment style is often labelled as unpredictable, confusing, or “mixed signals.” But behind the push-pull, the self-protection, and the sudden emotional shifts is something deeper: hidden childhood pain and conditioning that never got healed.

This video uncovers that pain — the chaos, broken trust, abandonment fears, and betrayal wounds that wire the subconscious nervous system to equate love with danger. You’ll learn how conditioning forms, why your nervous system responds before you’re even conscious of it, and how ancient wisdom + neuroscience come together to create a practical path forward.

Most importantly, we walk through a step-by-step exercise to rewire the core wounds Fearful Avoidants carry, and finally stop reliving the emotional past in the present.

You’ll learn:
✅ The childhood patterns that shape Fearful Avoidant attachment
✅ Why your nervous system reacts before you can think
✅ How conditioning becomes identity — and how to break that link
✅ What ancient traditions teach about non-attachment and self-awareness
✅ Why observing your conditioning changes your relationship to it
✅ A powerful rewiring method to release abandonment, betrayal, and unworthiness
✅ How repetition and emotion reprogram core beliefs stored since childhood

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – The Inner Childhood Pain of the Fearful Avoidant
02:28 – Fearful Avoidants Experience Chaos in Childhood
04:43 – Conditioning Shapes Our Identity
06:48 – Needs Course Promo
04:23 – Express Your Needs Early On
07:14 – Pavlovian Conditioning: Pavlov’s Dog 
09:42 – How Our Conditioning Can Affect Our Nervous System
13:14 – The Avenues to Healing 
15:36 – Non-Attachment and the Observer 
19:09 – Ancient Wisdom on Clinging to Our Conditioning 
22:16 – Rumi: “Out Beyond Ideas of Wrongdoing and Rightdoing”
23:37 – Transcendence VS Rewiring
25:14 – Belief Reprogramming – Step 1: Write Down Your Wounds and Fears
26:37 – Step 2: Find the Opposite of Your Wound or Fear
27:28 – Step 3: Come Up With 10 Pieces of Evidence Why This New Idea is Possible  
28:23 – Your Subconscious Mind Speaks In Emotions and Imagery
31:22 – Record and Listen Back for 21 Days
32:18 – Bowl of Light 

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson

💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentStyleHealing #AttachmentTheory #EmotionalTrauma #InnerChildHealing #Neuroplasticity #ThaisGibson #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #RelationshipHealing #SubconsciousReprogramming

Start Healing Your Attachment Style & Unlock Your Core Needs. Free for 7 Days + Bonus Course for Life!
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-free-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-free-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-12-12-25&el=podcast

If you’ve ever felt torn between wanting love and fearing it at the same time, this episode is for you. Join Thais Gibson, founder of The Personal Development School, for a powerful deep dive into the core wounds of the Fearful Avoidant (FA) attachment style and what it really takes to heal them.

You’ll discover how FAs develop conflicting subconscious beliefs about connection, trust, and vulnerability and how those beliefs drive push-pull patterns, emotional burnout, and relationship anxiety. Thais shares her proven framework for identifying and reprogramming your own wounds so you can finally feel safe giving and receiving love.

💡 You’ll Learn:
The core wounds that keep fearful avoidants stuck in painful patterns
How to recognize the signs of conflicted attachment behavior
Why your nervous system gets triggered during intimacy and distance
Practical steps to reprogram fear-based beliefs and build inner safety
How to use somatic tools to regulate emotions in real time
A step-by-step approach to becoming a secure, emotionally available partner

Key Takeaway:
Healing as a fearful avoidant starts with understanding your core wounds, but true transformation happens when you reprogram your nervous system and beliefs to feel safe in connection.

🎙️ Meet Your Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and creator of the Integrated Attachment Theory™. With a Ph.D. and over 70,000 students worldwide, she teaches emotional mastery, subconscious reprogramming, and secure relationship skills.

📚 Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📘 Read Learning Love by Thais Gibson
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Explore the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentHealing #ThaisGibson #EmotionalHealing #SubconsciousReprogramming #SomaticHealing #RelationshipAnxiety #AttachmentStyles #SecureLove #PersonalGrowth

Start Healing Your Attachment Style & Unlock Your Core Needs. Free for 7 Days + Bonus Course for Life! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-free-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-free-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-12-10-25&el=podcast

Many people misunderstand what sex and intimacy mean to a Dismissive Avoidant — assuming distance, shutdowns, or withdrawal are signs of disinterest. But neuroscience shows that Dismissive Avoidants bond through intimacy in very unique ways, and their core wounds around vulnerability deeply shape how they connect emotionally and physically.

In this video, Thais Gibson breaks down what happens in the mind, body, and nervous system of a Dismissive Avoidant during sex and connection. You’ll learn why intimacy activates old subconscious programming, why vulnerability can trigger fear, and how to build a safer foundation for physical and emotional closeness.

You’ll learn:
✅ Why vulnerability activates core wounds like “I am unsafe” and “I am defective”
✅ How emotional intimacy can trigger shutdown after closeness
✅ Why pressure or expectations around sex lead to withdrawal
✅ How shame becomes subconsciously associated with intimacy
✅ The role of childhood emotional neglect in adult sexual dynamics
✅ How fear of inadequacy impacts desire and presence
✅ What partners can do to communicate without triggering shutdown

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – What Happens to Dismissive Avoidants Around Sex and Intimacy
01:00 – 1. Dismissive Avoidants Have Big Core Wounds Around Intimacy
01:35 – 2. Dismissive Avoidants Are Afraid of Feeling Trapped, Helpless or Pressured
02:50 – Needs Course Promo
03:17 – When There is a Lot of Vulnerability Around Sex
03:56 – If There is Pressure Around Sex
04:27 – When Sex Becomes Less Frequent or Creates Problems
05:17 – If They Feel Criticized About Sex
05:32 – When They Feel Incapable of Meeting Their Partner's Needs
06:04 – If They Are Critical About Themselves
06:22 – Do You Have Any Questions?

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson

💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#DismissiveAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #AvoidantAttachment #IntimacyIssues #RelationshipAdvice #SexAndAttachment #Neuroplasticity #ThaisGibson #PersonalDevelopmentSchool

Start Healing Your Attachment Style & Unlock Your Core Needs. Free for 7 Days + Bonus Course for Life! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-free-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-free-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-12-08-25&el=podcast

If you’re tired of feeling confused, undervalued, or “left hanging” by someone who only gives you just enough to keep you around, this episode breaks down the psychology of Dismissive Avoidant breadcrumbing.

Thais Gibson explains the deeper emotional and subconscious roots of breadcrumbing within the Dismissive Avoidant attachment style, including how their childhood emotional neglect creates a comfort zone around emotional scarcity. She also reveals why people on the receiving end of breadcrumbing often feel “stuck,” and how this dynamic stems from their own learned comfort with neglect.

You’ll walk away with practical tools to recondition your subconscious comfort zone, shift limiting beliefs, rebuild your standards, and create a relationship model based on mutual nourishment rather than deprivation.

You'll learn: 
✅ What breadcrumbing actually is and why it’s so common with Dismissive Avoidants
✅ How childhood emotional neglect creates an Avoidant's “breadcrumb comfort zone”
✅ Why trauma spreads through patterns, not intention
✅ How Dismissive Avoidants can stop breadcrumbing by learning to stop breadcrumbing themselves
✅ Why people who accept breadcrumbs usually have their own comfort zone of neglect
✅ How to recondition your subconscious to expect, and accept, real emotional nourishment
✅ The role of boundaries, standards, and self-worth in stopping the cycle
✅ Why identifying your needs changes your entire dating experience

Episode Breakdown: 
00:00 – Are You Being Breadcrumbed by a Dismissive Avoidant?
02:34 – Why We Accept Breadcrumbs: Subconscious Comfort Zones
05:15 – Dismissive Avoidants Must Stop Breadcrumbing Themselves
06:37 – Giving Yourself What You're Not Receiving Externally
08:22 – Needs Course Promo
08:47 – Why You Stay in Breadcrumbing Dynamics
09:26 – Boundaries as a Declaration of Your Self Worth

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson

💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#DismissiveAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #ThaisGibson #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #HealingAttachment #RelationshipPatterns #Breadcrumbing #EmotionalNeglect

CYBER MONDAY OFFER: FREE Somatic Attachment Healing Course for Life!
Get the Somatic Attachment Healing Course FREE for life when you start your 7-day trial of the All-Access Pass.
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/somatic-attachment-healing?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=cyber-monday&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=yt-11-29-25&el=podcast

Can a Dismissive Avoidant actually become secretly obsessed with you?

In this vulnerable episode, Mike opens up about a real-life limerence experience, revealing what Dismissive Avoidant infatuation truly looks like from the inside. If you’ve ever wondered whether a Dismissive Avoidant is thinking about you more than they let on… this episode will give you clarity, compassion, and surprising insight.

Today we’re diving into the 6 key signs a Dismissive Avoidant is secretly obsessed with you and why dismissive avoidants can experience deep limerence even when they appear emotionally distant. Mike shares a personal story of unexpected intense infatuation, how unmet needs and repressed traits triggered limerence, and the subtle ways Dismissive Avoidants try to connect without revealing too much. We also break down the psychology of limerence, why it hits so hard, and which attachment style tends to experience celebrity-crush limerence the most.

Dismissive Avoidants do experience limerence, often intensely, but privately.

Dismissive Avoidant limerence is usually triggered when someone reflects their deeply repressed traits or meets long-standing unmet needs such as acceptance, attunement, and emotional support.

Signs of Dismissive Avoidant obsession often show up indirectly (liking all your posts, asking deep questions early, staring from a distance, subtle attempts to “bump into you”).

Limerence becomes soothing for Dismissive Avoidants, a way to experience emotional intensity without vulnerability.

Dismissive Avoidant women are the most likely group to develop strong celebrity-crush limerence.

True connection requires moving from fantasy to authenticity and learning to meet your needs more directly.

👥 ABOUT THE HOSTS

Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a leading expert in Attachment Theory and integrative emotional healing.
Mike is a former Dismissive Avoidant who openly shares his experiences to help others understand attachment dynamics and healing.

📚 RESOURCES & LINKS

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson

💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#DismissiveAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #Limerence #AvoidantAttachment #AttachmentTheory #PDS #ThaisGibson #EmotionalHealing #Relationships

If you’re ready to break old patterns, heal your nervous system, and transform your relationships from the inside out, start your 7-day trial today and get the Somatic Attachment Healing Course FREE for life.

https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/somatic-attachment-healing?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=cyber-monday&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=fxGk1uk5YWM&utm_content=yt-11-29-25&el=podcast

Get 14 Days Free inside PDS's All-Access Pass  with 65+ courses, live webinars, and a thriving global community: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/black-friday?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=black-friday&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=livestream&utm_content=yt-11-24-25&el=podcast

In this special live Q&A, Thais Gibson, founder of The Personal Development School, walks you through the practical process of identifying your core wounds and attachment triggers — the hidden emotional patterns that drive your reactions, fears, and relationship dynamics.

Whether you’re anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between, you’ll learn how to decode emotional triggers, understand their root causes, and start reprogramming them at the subconscious level. Thais also answers audience questions in real time, helping listeners uncover their most powerful healing opportunities.

🎙️ Meet Your Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and creator of the Integrated Attachment Theory™. With a Ph.D. and more than 70,000 students worldwide, she teaches emotional intelligence, subconscious reprogramming, and secure relationship skills.

📚 Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📘 Read Learning Love by Thais Gibson
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Connect with Us:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#CoreWounds #AttachmentHealing #ThaisGibson #SubconsciousReprogramming #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #HealingJourney #AttachmentStyles #PersonalDevelopment #EmotionalHealing

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When you love someone deeply but every argument feels like hitting the same wall — one partner chasing, the other shutting down — it can be excruciating. You want connection and resolution, but every attempt only pushes you further apart.

In this episode, Thais Gibson reveals five crucial steps to break free from the Anxious–Dismissive Avoidant argument cycle. You’ll learn how to de-escalate conflict, communicate your needs without triggering defenses, and turn disagreement into emotional closeness and repair.

You’ll learn:
✅ The core triggers for both Anxious and Dismissive Avoidant partners
✅ How to identify emotional patterns that keep you stuck in painful cycles
✅ A powerful somatic technique to calm your body during conflict
✅ The “one topic per conversation” rule that prevents spiraling arguments
✅ The step-by-step framework for validation, communication, and resolution
✅ Why learning your needs — and expressing them — transforms every relationship

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – When A Dismissive Avoidant Argues with An Anxious Attachment Style
01:30 – 5 Steps To Change How You See Conflict
02:27 – Step 1. Know Your Triggers.
02:53 – Anxious Attachment Style Biggest Core Wounds
03:20 – Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Biggest Core Wounds
04:48 – Step 2. Practice a Somatic Processing Skill
05:25 – Research on Triggering Experiences
06:54 – Step 3. Stick To One Topic Per Conversation
07:26 – 7-Day Free Trial Promo
08:15 – Steps 4 & 5. The Validation, Need, Validation Framework
09:20 – Locked in Trigger Cycles
10:00 – Framework for Conflict Resolution
11:50 – Arguing Isn't About Right or Wrong 
12:26 – Announcement: New Livestream Podcast!

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
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📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

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💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

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Get 14 Days Free Inside the Personal Development School’s All-Access Pass — including 65+ courses, live webinars, and a thriving global community:

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When someone you love suddenly shuts down and says “I’m fine,” it can be confusing, painful, and triggering — especially if you know something’s off. In this episode, Thais Gibson and Mike de Zio dive deep into what’s really happening when a dismissive avoidant (DA) or fearful avoidant (FA) pulls away.

They explore how shutting down is rarely about spite or indifference — it’s a subconscious protection strategy. Through personal stories and actionable steps, Thais and Mike explain how to understand these patterns, respond without pushing your partner away, and create safety for honest reconnection.

• Why dismissive and fearful avoidants withdraw when they’re hurt

• The 6 key steps to reconnect without triggering defensiveness

• How to validate your partner’s needs without abandoning your own

• What to say (and not say) when they need space

• How to rebuild communication, empathy, and safety in conflict

• Why clearly expressing your needs is a vital part of healing

00:00 – Intro: Why avoidants “shut down” during conflict
03:00 – Understanding Avoidant Protection Mechanisms
06:10 – Thais’ Past Experience as a Fearful Avoidant
07:45 – Why Avoidants Retreat When Hurt
09:03 – Emotional Safety vs. Pressure in Relationships
11:00 – How to Support a Dismissive Avoidant Without Overstepping
13:05 – The Power of Asking Gentle Questions
16:12 – How Opposite Needs Create Miscommunication
19:00 – Is It Okay to Sleep on an Argument?
21:15 – Reassurance, Timing, and the Hybrid Approach
22:30 – Step 1: Approach Them With Sensitivity
24:45 – Step 2: Offer Support Without Pressure
27:00 – Step 3: “Timebox” the Conversation
30:19 – Step 4: How to Reconnect When They’re Ready
33:10 – Step 5: Communicate Needs Clearly & Calmly
36:00 – Step 6: Take Your Own Needs Into Account
38:00 – Why Communicating Your Needs Builds Emotional Safety
41:00 – Healthy Conflict vs. Avoidance
44:30 – How Validation and Compromise Foster Secure Attachment
46:00 – Final Reflections: Reconnecting After Withdrawal

Avoidants don’t shut you out because they don’t care — they do it because vulnerability feels unsafe. The more you understand their patterns and communicate your own needs clearly, the faster you both can reconnect from a place of empathy, not defense.

🎙️ Meet Your Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and creator of the Integrated Attachment Theory™. With a Ph.D. and over 70,000 students worldwide, she’s a global expert in attachment healing, subconscious reprogramming, and emotional intelligence.

📚 Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📘 Read Learning Love by Thais Gibson
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love

🎧 More Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

📱 Connect with Us:
📸 Instagram: @thepersonaldevelopmentschool
📘 Facebook: The Personal Development School
🎵 TikTok: @thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: The Personal Development School
▶️ YouTube: The Personal Development School

#DismissiveAvoidant #FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #ThaisGibson #AttachmentHealing #EmotionalSafety #ConflictResolution #RelationshipCommunication #SecureAttachment #SubconsciousHealing

Remember: Silence doesn’t always mean disinterest — sometimes, it’s protection. Learn how to bridge the gap with compassion and clarity. 💗