We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
It’s been a big few weeks since Hugh released his Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People (episode linked below). If you haven't heard it, it’s best to listen to that before you listen to this episode.
Today we wanted to catch up and reflect on whats happened since.
Hugh shares some beautiful messages, and Josh asks, practically, how we can show less judgement and more empathy to neurodivergent people and the people who care for them. Then, Ryan does some quick maths to fact check Hugh’s claim to reply to every single message he’s received since the Open Letter went live.
We are so profoundly grateful for every message of love and support.
Love,
The Imperfects xxx
🎧 If you want to listen to Hugh’s Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People, click here - https://apple.co/4l4kw0m
💻 If you want to watch this full chat on YouTube, click here - https://youtu.be/wFrlUkqR8y4
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Get excited, it’s finally Steve Curry* day.
Actor, comedian, and expert hole digger (you bet we snuck this in here), Steve joins us to share his personal and professional epiphany: a ‘collaboration realisation’ his lightbulb moment about teamwork, success, and the power of vulnerability.
In our Vulnerabilitea House, Steve answers the questions ‘When was a time you genuinely needed help? Were you able to ask for it?’, and discusses the joy of working in a team where success is a joint effort.
This is such a joyful episode, Steve, we are definitely friends for life (can you hook us up with Helen too?)
*not the basket baller
If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4iv72IO
🦁 Things to check out
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Clinical psychologist Dr Julie Smith has a gift for explaining complex ideas in under a minute (which is GREAT for new-age attention spans).
With over 4.8 million TikTok followers, two best-selling books and a glowing endorsement from our own Dr Em, having Dr Julie join our Academy of Imperfection is nothing short of a dream.
In this episode, Dr Julie reframes the feeling of overwhelm, helping us to see it as valuable information about how we might not be meeting our needs, rather than something to fear.
Then, it’s all about confidence, baby. Getting into the nitty-gritty, Ryan and Dr Julie redefine failure, showing how confidence isn’t just built from successes, but from every experience – good, bad and (luckily for Hugh) the awkward.
Oh, and did we mention she’s Dr Em approved?
Smithy, we’d gladly talk to you forever.
If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4iwtFwz
🫖 Imperfects episode mentioned in this episode
📖 Things to read:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.
It may be confronting.
Please take care when listening.
Love,
Hugh
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Hannah Diviney is one of the most powerful people in pop culture.
At just 25 years old, the author, advocate, and actor hasn’t just called out Lizzo for using an ableist slur—she also took on Queen B herself. And she succeeded on both fronts.
Which, once you get to know her, isn’t surprising at all.
In our Vulnerabilitea House, Hannah reflects on the questions: “How do you see yourself? Is it the same way your loved ones see you?”
Answering with incredible vulnerability, Hannah shares how her relationship with her disability has evolved over time and what it was like growing up in a world where the Paralympics seemed like the only visible marker of success.
We talk to Hannah about being a part of intimate television history, and Ryan, the love doctor, Shelton manifests a Brad (or Stewie, or Chris, or Michael-Angelo) in her future.
Hannah, we are so desperate to be your friend.
To watch this full episode on YouTube, click here: https://bit.ly/41vzALg
🫖 Imperfects episode’s mentioned in this episode
🎟️ Things to go see
📺 Things to watch
📖 Things to read
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Today, Dr Emily talks about hope.
And in a world where things can feel a little bit hopeless, this really couldn’t have come at a better time.
In contrast to all of our understanding up until this point, hope is not an emotion.
Expertly defined by Dr Emily, hope is a belief. And most significantly, it can be learned, and it can be cultivated.
Psychological mic-drop.
This episode delves into strategies for creating both a sense of collective and individual hope, and in a discovery which happens to be VERY on-brand for this podcast, Dr Emily talks to the significance of vulnerability and connection in living a hopeful life.
We hope you enjoy this one as much as we did.
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/41j0pT1
📚To pre-order Dr Emily’s book Unstuck, click here - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2
🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
📖 Things to read
💻Things to check out
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Matthew Murphy, front-man of the iconic UK band The Wombats, joins us in our first VulnerabiliTea House of 2025.
In this episode, Murph answers one of life’s most terrifying questions, “In what ways do you fear you could negatively impact your children?”
He also shares his experience with panic attacks, anxiety and depression and is extremely honest detailing how alcohol became a crutch.
Becoming sober, which Murph describes as the best decision of his life, was not easy. Murph goes into detail about what the withdrawal process was like and how he began to find joy in activities again.
Murph, thank you for soundtracking our youths (and current lives), and thank you for this incredibly helpful conversation.
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4i6hRRi
💿 Things to listen to:
Enjoyed this episode but want a little more? Good news, we have a brand new show called A Little More Imperfects over on Patreon! Visit: www.patreon.com/theimperfects
If you would like to receive a weekly Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter, where you can answer this question yourself, click subscribe on our website www.theimperfects.com.au
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
It’s time for Announcement Number Three! A brand-new Imperfects Live Show (!!!!!!).
That’s right, we’re going on the road again. In October, November, and December of this year (2025), we’ll be performing a brand-new stage show, around the country!
It’s gonna be bigger, it’s gonna be better, and we promise we won’t let Hugh (or Chat GPT) write the show. All responsibility will henceforth be given to Random Word Generator!
We would love and adore to see you there!
🎟️ Click here to get your tickets – https://bit.ly/3EHPYkj
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/3CYoOF8
If you would like to subscribe to A Little More Imperfects, click here – www.patreon.com/theimperfects
🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Psychologist Maria Ruberto is back to talk about one of the most important parts of our day: sleep.
Starting off with the biology of sleep, Maria takes us through how we get to sleep, what happens when we sleep, and why we desperately need to sleep for good health and longevity. With metaphors galore to make the science as relatable as possible, we discuss the role of melatonin, the impact of screens on our suprachiasmatic nucleus and whether it’s worth cutting your sleep short to exercise?
In more practical terms, Maria shares what sleep hygiene actually looks like, and, to Hugh and Josh’s relief, how hormones released during parenthood act to buffer against sleep deprivation.
So set your sleep alarms, get comfy, and tuck yourself in for a BIG episode!
Sweet dreams x
If you would like to watch this full video on YouTub, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4htdJLj
If you’d like to subscribe to our Patreon, A Little More Imperfects, sign up here: Patreon.com/theimperfects
🫖 Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned in this episode:
💻 Things to check out:
🎧 Things to listen to:
📖 Things to read:
📺 Things to watch:
💤 Melbourne Sleep Labs:
*please note, some of these require a referral from a GP or specialist
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The stoke level is pretty high this week because we are joined by three-time world champion surfer, shark attack survivor, and maybe the nicest guy we have ever met, Mick Fanning.
We had high expectations for this chat (we mean, it’s Mick Fanning), but he absolutely blew us out of the water with his humanity, compassion, empathy, and positivity in the face of incredible tragedy.
Mick, we’ll definitely take you up on that offer of a surf (and lifelong friendship).
To watch this full video on our YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3Er6W6g
To subscribe to A Little More Imperfects on Patreon, follow this link: Patreon.com/imperfects
To subscribe to our newsletter, The Vulnerabilitea-Mail (which includes a reflective journalling question based on this episode), follow this link: https://bit.ly/42bYguo
🎧 Things to listen to:
📺 Things to watch
⛳️Things to check out
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Well, well, well. We’re (officially) back for 2025, baby!
On Hugh’s agenda for today’s episode: nugatory chat, ghosts, general excitement for the new season and we also reveal THE SECOND BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!
That’s right, The Imperfects are bringing you a new show.
A Little More Imperfects, which can be found on Patreon, is bonus fortnightly episodes featuring everything that you know and love (Josh going deep, Ryan being hilarious and Hugh giving life changing advice / intense second hand embarrassment) PLUS early access to live show tickets and events and great discounts on our merch.
So enjoy this sneak preview, and we can’t wait for the season ahead.
If you would like to subscribe to our Patreon, follow this link - https://www.patreon.com/theimperfects
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube (and catch a glimpse of organised Hugh for the only time this millennia), click here - https://bit.ly/4hC4XKI
🎧 Things to listen to:
📖 Things to buy:
📃Things to subscribe to:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.