The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

  • 1 hour 41 minutes
    Bron Lewis - Is It Me or Postnatal Anxiety?

    What do you do when your 3 day-old-baby just doesn’t wake up?

    💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Motherhood is really hard. And Bron Lewis isn’t afraid to talk about it (anymore).

    Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, Bron answers the question ‘when was a time you genuinely needed help and were you able to ask for it?’, and recounts the worst week of her life.

    Deals with the devil, post-natal anxiety, and post-natal depression, Bron is incredibly vulnerable with Hugh and Ryan, sharing how the love from friends, professional help, and medication allowed her to return to herself.

    Bron, it was a delight.

    To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/qc9ZNO6VpeY

    0:00 – We’re all best friends / fathers / daughters 
    8:51 – When was a time you genuinely needed help?
    18:44 – Long nights, relentless days
    25:42 – Socially accepted punishment
    33:36 – Using pain to drown out the noise
    40:50 – Obviously, I can do it all
    45:44 – It doesn’t have to be this hard
    54:55 – On day 3, he didn’t wake up
    1:07:27 – The worst week of her life
    1:22:54 – This should feel good, shouldn’t it?
    1:33:01 – The aftermath

    🚨If you, or someone you know, is struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety, these are a few great resources

    • PANDA - 1300 726 306
    • ForWhen - 1300 24 23 22
    • Beyond Blue - 1300 22 4636

    📖 Things to read

    🎟️ Things to go see

    🎧Things to listen to

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    15 February 2026, 6:00 pm
  • 1 hour 23 minutes
    Dr Lucy Hone - A Life Worth Grieving

    Two cataclysmic events have shaped Dr Lucy Hone’s relationship with grief, and resilience.

    💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Today in the Academy of Imperfection, we welcome Dr Lucy Hone. Dr Lucy’s work focuses on making sense of the senseless, and helping others to do the same.

    As a legitimate expert in grief, resilience and wellbeing, Dr Lucy is able to blend the science with her own lived experience.

    This episode explores living losses (divorce, estrangement, infertility), grief comparison, as well as the research around post-traumatic growth. Guided by questions from Dr Lucy’s latest book, How will I ever get through this?, Hugh, Josh and Ryan ask Dr Lucy why grief feels so lonely, how you are supposed to accept loss, and will you ever be happy again, amongst others.

    This is a special one.

    0:00 – An Unsuspecting Saturday Morning
    12:11 – Grief comparison
    21:25 – How am I supposed to accept this?
    31:14 – How do you keep hope alive?
    35:48 – Why do I feel so lonely?
    50:20 – Will I ever be happy again?
    56:36 – Letting the other children live
    1:03:44 – Do you know your strengths?
    1:09:12 – Who and what do you want to live for?
    1:14:59 – Who and what is good in your world?

    To full this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/Zyb7kELxFxI 

    🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    📖 Things to read

    💻Things to check out

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    8 February 2026, 6:00 pm
  • 1 hour 37 minutes
    Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way

    Stop. Everything. Now. It’s Claudia Karvan day.

    💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    An icon of the screen, and of the heart, Claudia is Australian entertainment royalty.

    Claudia’s life itself feels like a movie (no one else grew up in a nightclub, did they?) and it was an absolute privilege to listen to all the lessons that she has learnt along the way.

    With incredible grace, Claudia talks to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about playing the long game during divorce, and how she came to the realisation that it wasn’t up to her to fix everything.

    Claudia speaks openly about separating the person from the diagnosis, and how, and why, she thinks so often about death.

    This is one for the highlight reel.

    If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click on this link - https://youtu.be/4qH4vBr0i6Y

    0:00 – Hugh ‘questionable-decisions’ van Cuylenburg
    12:24 – The role of a lifetime
    17:55 – An unconventional childhood
    28:50 – It’s not up to you to fix everything
    39:55 – The opening of another world
    45:47 – Doing it all (with support)
    51:12 – Love and family HER way
    59:33 – Play the long game
    1:07:15 – Managing mental ill-health
    1:24:39 – The benefit of helping others
    1:26:48 – How to love in a healthy way

    🥸 Which Imperfects Host Are You Quiz? - https://tally.so/r/Xx4PEO

    🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    📺 Things to watch

    📖 Things to read

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 February 2026, 6:00 pm
  • 45 minutes 57 seconds
    Soul Searching Summer - Ryan’s TV Show

    Ryan’s got news.

    Well, past-Ryan had news, and now future-Ryan is going to reflect on how present-day-Ryan is currently feeling about said news. Get it? It’s reflecting on a reflection about a rejection.

    Today we’re giving you two for the price of none, and bringing you two of the most memorable moments from our subscriber based show A Little More Imperfects.

    With both segments focusing on wildest dreams, Hugh, Ryan and Josh explore how to navigate regret when you’re not at your best, and how to show yourself compassion and love when your dreams are, well, crushed.

    Also, we ask Hugh what happened to him today.

    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/Ilg-r9gHGPk

    🩵Sign up for A Little More Imperfects here

    🩷Sign up to the My Imperfect Email here

    🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    25 January 2026, 6:00 pm
  • 40 minutes 14 seconds
    Spooky Summer - Hugh’s Haunted House

     Do you believe in ghosts? Josh doesn’t, Ryan does, and Hugh is actually being haunted.

    🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale! One show left! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

    It’s the second episode of our super sexy summer series (the alliteration is wild in this episode), and we’re revisiting the time that Hugh got haunted.

    Blending together a few episodes of A Little More Imperfects, our subscriber platform that you can sign up for below, we’ll introduce you to Geraint the shamanic healer, what happened during Hugh’s ghost busting appointment, and whether Hugh has had any paranormal activity since.

    And finally, whether this whole ordeal has convinced Josh that ghosts are real.

    Long live summer!

    0:00 – A phoenus? Draw it
    4:17 – Team Josh v Team Ryan
    10:28 – Meeting the shamanic healer
    16:25 – The not-so-light-hearted update
    30:01 – Cursed artwork: to burn or not to burn
    35:46 – Has the ghost been busted?

    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/u4XNRTLXtrQ 

    🩵Sign up for A Little More Imperfects here

    🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    👻Ghost busters

    • Garant

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    18 January 2026, 6:00 pm
  • 1 hour 7 minutes
    Psychology Summer - Your Inner Fan with Dr Emily

    Today, we come to you with a gift: bonus Dr Emily. Thank you in advance for the standing ovation.

    🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale! One show left! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

    Welcoming you into the world of A Little More Imperfects, our subscriber-based platform available on Patreon and Apple Podcasts, our resident psychologist Dr Emily reaches into the reflection pond, to discuss and decode a reflection from one of our community members.

    Responding to this reflection, Dr Emily chats to Ryan, Josh, and special guest Producer Bridge, about how life changing it can be to receive an ADHD diagnosis, as well as the not so joyful emotions, such as grief and anger, which can accompany this.

    Josh talks about his own inner critic, which leads into a broader discussion about self-compassion, top down vs bottom up therapy, and the therapeutic benefits to showing up for your younger self as the adult you are today.

    Don’t say we don’t spoil you.

    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzBxIFUOJL0 

    🩷To join our A Little More Imperfects Community

    🩵Where to send in your reflections

    🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    📺Things to watch

    💻 Things to do

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    11 January 2026, 6:00 pm
  • 38 minutes 32 seconds
    The Little Drummer Girl - A Christmas Scandal

    Little heads up, this episode contains some language that is exclusively found on the naughty list, and therefore, isn’t suitable for kids.

    Now, it’s time to spill some Vulnerabili-TEA.

    It’s our annual holiday episode, and this year, with many thanks to comedian Becky Lucas, we welcome into the studio Little Drummer Girl. Who has some, um, grievances to air.

    Little Drummer Girl is taking us back in the space-time-continuum to re-write history, and let us in on the scandal which surrounds the infamous lyrics ‘pa rum pum pum pum’.

    All ad revenue from this episode will be donated to Becky’s chosen charity of HeartKids, who do an incredible job providing lifelong support, resources, and advocacy to the 250,000 people impacted by childhood-onset heart disease.

    0:00 – Introducing the Little Drummer Girl
    5:50 – The ultimate gift guide
    9:51 – An original song, an original crime
    15:22 – Sharing enriching information from 20 AD
    25:28 – Know what you’re good at
    30:20 - Hello Becky, Hello HeartKids

    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube (you really do), follow this link - https://youtu.be/oXBEij8q5Tc 

    🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    💻Things to do

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    21 December 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 1 hour 27 minutes
    Dave Hughes - Me, Myself & Ego

    Dave Hughes has a complicated relationship with his ego.

    Performing in prestigious venues around the world, Dave Hughes has solidified himself as one of Australia’s comedy icons, but the journey was (and still is) far from easy.

    Joining us in the studio today, Dave vulnerably shares how the burden of feeling unworthy affected his ability to give and receive love.

    Dave chats to Ryan about how much he has struggled with comparison, both with others, and the success of his past self, and the role that ego plays in never being able to turn down an opportunity.

    Hughesy, thank you so much for joining us.

    0:00 – Ryan got papped, Hugh got crumpets
    7:19 – The failures that lead to success
    17:12 – A feeling of general greatness
    21:06 – Reckoning with comparison
    30:18 – The joy is in the giving
    36:03 – Walking the family / work tightrope
    41:07 – Humour as a way in
    47:56 – You had me at IMAX helmet
    56:00 – Ego doesn’t let you enjoy the moment
    1:08:10 – Five strategies to let go of ego

    If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/ogE4j-UQIGY

    🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode:

    🎄Other Xmas Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode:

    📖 Things to read

    💻Things to look up

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    The Imperfects acknowledge the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation, as the traditional owners of the land on which this podcast was recorded and we extend our respects to elders past & present. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    14 December 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 1 hour 21 minutes
    Mary Fowler - Forgiving Yourself-Harm

    We’re nervous. We’re excited. We’re nervous and excited. Because it’s Mary freaking Fowler day.

    🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

    Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, all the way from Manchester, Mary answers the question ‘what do you worry about the most?’

    With wisdom far beyond her 22 years, Mary explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the impossible task of being the ‘perfect’ role model, especially when you are still growing up yourself.

    And then, in a conversation that will help many, and maybe even save the life of a few, Mary graciously shares her experiences with self-harm, and why she thinks it is so important to have the heavy conversations, even with the risk of saying the wrong thing.

    Mary talks about her journey with pressure and forgiveness that lead her to rediscover ‘Little Mary’, her wall of things that make her feel loved, and how she has been able to reframe her darkest times to find more empathy for others.

    Mary, it was an absolute dream come true to speak with you.

    0:00 – The 2023 Fairy tale
    6:52 – What do you worry about most?
    23:00 – Giving and taking power
    34:01 – Appreciating the little things
    41:01 – Saying the hard thing
    56:22 – Beauty after pain
    1:04:29 – Am I supposed to be here?
    1:09:16 – Looking after Little Mary

    if you would like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/O_9Wf0WSfMM 

    📖Things to read;

    🚨If you, or someone you know, is thinking about suicide or self-harm, Lifeline on 13 11 14 is a great place to start. In an emergency, please call 000.

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    7 December 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 1 hour 26 minutes
    Dr Emily - You Had Me At Communication

    Is your communication style a red flag?

    It’s our favourite time of the month and Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk the talk (and walk the walk) about healthy communication.

    The impact of our learning history (colloquially known as “baggage”) gets a heavy feature in this episode, as Ryan, Josh and Bridge unpack their communication styles, and how this has impacted their intimate relationships.

    Dr Emily talks us through why the real challenge of communicating is not our use of language, but rather regulation of emotion, and gifts us a plethora of acronyms to practice at home the skills of effective communication.

    Dr Em, always a pleasure.

    Chapters:
    0:00 – Communication, conflict, and Hannah Ferguson 
    10:19 – How do you (mostly?) communicate?
    14:57 – The impact of our learning history
    22:10 – Interpersonal Effectiveness
    27:41 – Practicing getting it wrong to get it right
    31:59 – Do opposites attract?
    34:44 – Respond rather than react
    47:51 – We all love an acronym
    1:01:45 – Dealing with unreasonable people
    1:15:49 – Breaking patterns

    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

    🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

    💻Things to do:

    📺 Things to watch:

    📖 Things to read:

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    30 November 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 1 hour 13 minutes
    Jamila Rizvi - Awoken by a Broken Brain

    Jamila Rizvi has not been the perfect sick person.

    When Jamila was last in our studio, she was deep in the grief stage.

    Jamila’s life had been irrevocably changed by the imposition of a brain tumour, and the myriad of health complications due to surgery. To put it simply, Jamila didn’t know who Jamila was anymore, and that terrified her.

    This week, in the Vulnerabilitea House, Jamila answers the questions “what aspects of your identity have you held onto for too long?”

    The drip-fed loss of cognitive functions and a new hormone condition which made her constantly starving, Jamila felt like her body and mind were no longer her own. Speaking to Hugh, Josh, and Ryan really honestly, Jamila opens up about her eating disorder during this time; how it impacted her sense of self, her relationships, and ability to connect.

    Jamila, it was a joy to have you back. We’re so proud of you.

    Chapters:
    0:00 – Where are they now?
    7:31 – What aspects of your identity have you held onto for too long?
    20:06 – Phases of identity
    25:24 – Impact of a brain tumour on a relationship
    29:52 – Constantly starving, craving thinness
    36:51 – Intense, urgent desperation
    48:38 – Train your brain to love your body
    54:12 – Would you take it back?
    59:39 – Adrenal Crisis and Crisis of Self

    To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/A_lE3nSA2Mc

    🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned on this episode

    📖Things to read:

    💻Things to look up:

    📱Games to download:

    🦋 If this conversation has raised some uncomfortable feelings for you around eating and food, the Butterfly Foundation 1800 33 4673 is a great place check out - https://butterfly.org.au

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    23 November 2025, 6:00 pm
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