In this episode, we're continuing our holiday self-care series with one essential truth: real peace begins when we're honest about what we can actually handle. The holidays tend to pull us back into old roles and emotional patterns, leaving us overwhelmed, overextended, and disconnected from ourselves before we even realize it. Today, we explore why this happens, how to recognize the subtle moments of self-abandonment, and what it looks like to care for yourself from a place of truth instead of pressure or performance.

Three Takeaways

1. You'll learn the surprising reason holiday stress often has less to do with events and more to do with old emotional patterns we slip into without noticing.

2. We'll talk about how to identify the quiet, subtle moments where you start abandoning yourself… and what a small shift toward honesty can do for your peace.

3. You'll walk away with simple, practical questions that help you stay grounded, connected, and true to yourself no matter what the season brings.

You can't set a healthy boundary

if you aren't willing to

tell yourself the truth first.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

This week, we're pulling a good one from the vault…

Welcome to Episode 191 where we dig into how real self-care means following through on what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

In this episode we dive deeper into the idea that TRUE self-care is when we make it real. When we follow through on both holding the line on our boundaries and taking responsibility for what we have promised ourselves we would take care of. Self-care involves following through with actions that nourish your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. We talked last week about some of the good things and not so good things to have in our life. If you haven't had a chance to listen to that yet you might want to do that first…and come join us back here when you're done so this episode will make more sense.

When you commit to taking care of yourself, it means setting boundaries, saying no to things that drain you, prioritizing rest and relaxation, and making time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Following through with these actions not only benefits your own well-being, but also supports your ability to be assertive and advocate for yourself in all areas of your life.

Key Elements:

· Explore the some of the consequences of not following through on self-care

· Identify how taking care of ourselves is the best way to feel more confident.

· Identify ways to make it easier to commit and follow through.

You don't have to

prove anything

this holiday season –

not your worth,

not your patience,

not your strength.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

This week, we're looking at how our families shaped the way we think about boundaries and why holiday gatherings like Thanksgiving tend to reactivate old roles and survival strategies.

This episode explores how to show up differently this Thanksgiving — grounded, prepared, and centered — instead of slipping back into the versions of ourselves we've outgrown. You'll learn how to notice old triggers before you walk in the door, create invisible boundaries that protect your energy, plan resets and exit strategies without guilt, and stay connected to the adult version of you instead of the child who learned to self-abandon. This is about creating safety inside yourself so you no longer trade your peace for approval.

Three Things to Think About:

1. Why family gatherings often reactivate old roles — and how to stay anchored in the adult you are now, not the child you used to be.

2. How to prepare your nervous system before you arrive so you can stay present, grounded, and connected to yourself throughout the day.

3. Simple ways to protect your peace quietly and confidently even when others have big emotions, expectations, or reactions.

The adult you are today

gets to make choices

the child version of you

never had.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Boundaries aren't just about saying no - they're about finally seeing clearly. In this episode, I break down how boundary work forces us out of fantasy and into reality, and why this shift brings up grief, sadness, and confusion before it brings peace. We explore what detachment actually means (loving without carrying), why acceptance always asks us to grieve the illusions we've held onto, and how seeing the truth opens the path to emotional freedom, self-respect, and grounded decision-making.

Three Things to Think About:

1. Why clarity feels uncomfortable before it feels freeing — and how boundaries shift you from potential to reality in ways you may not expect.

2. What healthy detachment really looks like — and why it's not distance, coldness, or giving up, but something far more grounded and compassionate.

3. How grief and acceptance quietly shape boundary work — and how these emotions help you stop carrying what was never yours to hold.

Sometimes the hardest goodbye

is to the version of someone

you hoped they'd be.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

When you start communicating with boundaries, the tone of every relationship begins to change — sometimes in ways that surprise you. In this episode, Mary Baker breaks down what it really means to speak from emotional honesty and detachment, and why this combination completely shifts the emotional climate at home, at work, and in your friendships. You'll learn how calm, grounded communication builds trust and respect while reducing drama and confusion.

But this kind of growth doesn't always feel peaceful at first. Mary walks listeners through what happens when you stop rescuing, overexplaining, and cushioning your truth — and how to stay steady when others aren't used to your new clarity. If you've ever wondered why honesty and boundaries go hand in hand, this episode will help you find your footing and your voice.

Three Takeaways

1. Grounded truth changes the room. When you communicate from honesty instead of fear, people can feel the difference — and so can you.

2. Discomfort doesn't mean you're wrong. Early tension often signals the system adjusting to your new clarity, not a mistake on your part.

3. Calm is the new power. You can speak directly and stay kind without rescuing, fixing, or losing yourself in the process.

When you learn to

communicate from truth,

not fear,

everything changes.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Boundary work sounds empowering — and it is — but no one tells you how strange it feels at first. When you begin honoring your limits, your nervous system doesn't throw a party; it throws a fit. In this episode, we unpack why your body equates "familiar" with "safe," even when familiar has meant people-pleasing, over-giving, or pretending you're fine. You'll learn why this discomfort doesn't mean you're doing something wrong — it means you're finally doing something different.

We'll also explore the family patterns that made boundaries feel like betrayal, and how learning to stay with that unease is how we begin to rewire safety from the inside out. This conversation isn't about blame — it's about awareness, compassion, and learning to calm your body while you practice a new kind of self-loyalty.

Three Takeaways

1. The body often mistakes self-abandonment for safety — until we teach it something new.

2. Boundaries may feel "wrong" at first because they disrupt old emotional rules.

3. Learning to stay with the discomfort is how real confidence and self-trust begin to grow.

Vulnerability isn't exposure;

it's invitation. It's saying,

'This is who I am —

can you meet me here?'

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Feeling stuck doesn't mean you're unmotivated — it usually means you don't feel safe enough to move. Fear, shame, and self-doubt can quietly trap us in loops of overthinking, avoidance, and perfectionism, especially when past experiences have taught our bodies that taking risks isn't safe. In this episode, Mary explores why fear often feels stronger than logic, how trauma trains us to freeze, and what it actually takes to begin moving again.

You'll learn how to create safety before action, why supportive relationships are essential for unfreezing, and how micro-steps — not big leaps — build lasting courage. This episode is for anyone who's tired of being stuck but too scared to push forward alone. You'll walk away understanding that healing isn't about forcing yourself to "just do it" — it's about learning to trust your body, your timing, and the safe people who can help you move again.

Three Takeaways

1. Fear and paralysis are signs of an unsafe nervous system — not a lack of willpower.

2. You can't move forward until you feel safe enough to — safety is the foundation for courage.

3. Real change happens when safety meets support, one small step at a time.

Healing begins the moment

we let someone see

the parts we've been hiding —

and discover we're still safe.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

In this episode we talk about how Letting go of control, comfort, and old coping patterns isn't easy. Change asks us to allow, to trust, and to let in — all things that can feel terrifying if we've spent years surviving by keeping walls up.

In this episode, we talk about how to know when it's time to loosen control, why "fine" isn't the same as fulfilled, and what helps us feel safe enough to soften. Because true courage isn't about forcing change — it's about allowing growth to happen where safety and honesty meet.

THREE TAKEAWAYS

1. Letting go isn't giving up — it's trusting yourself enough to stop forcing outcomes.

2. Safety comes from consistency, empathy, and ownership — not control.

3. Real courage begins when we allow vulnerability to meet safety.

The courage to stop

managing everything

begins with one brave thought:

maybe I'm safe enough

now to let go.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Resources:

Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143

Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

In this episode we're talking about the truths we often avoid — the ones that feel too heavy, too risky, or too painful to face. These are the truths about ourselves, our relationships, and our lives that we push aside in the name of comfort, control, or keeping the peace. But avoiding them doesn't make them disappear. It only keeps us stuck in the very patterns that drain us.

Together, we'll explore why these truths are so hard to look at, how they show up in everyday life, and what begins to shift when we stop running from them. If you've ever felt that quiet nudge that something isn't working — but you've been afraid to name it — this conversation is for you.

Three Takeaways

1. Clarity is freeing, even when it hurts. Avoiding truth costs you more than facing it.

2. Truth builds self-trust. Every time you admit reality, you strengthen your ability to handle it.

3. Facing truth is an act of courage. And it opens the door to healing, better choices, and peace.

Avoiding truth

doesn't protect us.

It only drains us,

leaks out sideways,

and keeps us living smaller

than we're meant to.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

When you begin doing deeper work on yourself, the questions start coming: Why do I feel guilty when I take care of myself? Why does setting boundaries suddenly feel so frustrating? Why do I feel like I can't tolerate certain people anymore? These moments can feel unsettling—but they're actually signs that you're waking up to yourself in new ways.

In this episode, I invite you into a gentle reflection process with questions designed to spark curiosity, not anxiety. Through real-life examples, we'll explore boundaries, emotional honesty, self-care, belonging, and confidence—helping you notice where you are on your journey without judgment. These aren't tests. They're invitations.

Three Takeaways

1. Questions are data, not verdicts. The feelings that surface when you reflect—guilt, frustration, relief—are clues to your growth, not proof of failure.

2. Intimacy starts with honesty. Pay attention to when your words and your heart line up—and when they don't. That gap reveals where safety is missing.

3. Small promises build trust. Even tiny acts of follow-through (like going to bed when you said you would) lay the groundwork for deeper confidence.

Looking away

kept you safe before.

Looking honestly will

set you free now.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Resources:

Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143

Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

In this week's episode, I answer some of the most common questions I've heard as both a therapist and coach. From knowing when you're settling, to why we ignore red flags, to what to do when boundaries aren't respected, these struggles show up for almost everyone at some point in their relationships.

Through plain-spoken answers and real-life examples, you'll learn what these dynamics look like in everyday life and why they're so hard to recognize. If you've ever wondered whether you're giving too much, staying quiet to keep the peace, or struggling to show up authentically, this episode is for you.

Three Takeaways

1. The questions we ask about relationships often reveal where we're struggling with boundaries and self-trust.

2. Patterns from childhood can make unhealthy behavior feel familiar—and easy to excuse.

3. Building healthier connections starts with noticing what feels off and having the courage to honor it.

Settling isn't always about things

being terrible—it's about

silencing yourself so it feels fine.

Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here!

If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!

Need more? Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:

https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words

Hey! My signature course is live! I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program. Be sure to click here to check it out:

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/

Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!

https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour

Resources:

Join the private Facebook group! It's a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143

Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!