➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup

Follow Jeff's work: https://www.jeffwetzler.com/

Dr. Jeff Wetzler, author of Ask, joins Cal Walters to unpack a leadership blind spot: the crucial information your team has… but isn't telling you. Jeff explains the "left-hand column" (what people think and feel but don't say), the four reasons honesty gets filtered, and the ASK Approach—a practical framework for choosing curiosity, building psychological safety, asking better questions, and closing the loop when feedback is hard to act on.

If you want better decisions, healthier relationships, and fewer surprises, this conversation will give you a playbook.

Episode Outline / Timestamps

00:00 The hidden information problem

00:41 Guest intro + what you'll learn

01:37 Chris Argyris + the "left-hand column" tool

08:07 Four reasons people don't tell you the truth

12:06 Why smart/successful leaders struggle to learn

13:55 Jeff's near miss: one question that revealed the truth

15:45 Psychological safety: why curiosity alone isn't enough

21:35 Reactivity: the biggest predictor of future honesty

22:18 Responding well to hard feedback

25:00 The ASK Approach: Choose curiosity

29:48 Curiosity killers + "When you're furious, get curious"

32:29 Busy leaders: "Pay now or pay later"

36:40 Quality questions vs. crummy questions

40:04 Better questions for feedback and performance reviews

44:07 Go-to questions for parties and relationships

47:48 Questions as a gift: helping others gain clarity

49:55 How to handle feedback you won't follow

51:08 Reflect & reconnect: sift it, turn it, and close the loop

53:13 Cal's takeaways and practical challenges

Practical Challenges to Try This Week

• Replace: "Do you have feedback for me?"

  With: "What's one thing I could do differently that would make your life easier?"

• When you feel defensive, ask one question before making a statement.

• When someone brings hard truth, try:

  "That's hard to hear—and I'm really glad you told me."

➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup

Get Randy's book: https://www.amazon.com/Winning-Begins-Home-Strategy-Leadership/dp/B0CTYGNXCG

Learn about Lead Every Day: https://leadeveryday.com/

In this episode, Cal Walters sits down with executive coach, speaker, and author Randy Gravitt of ⁨@Lead_Every_Day⁩ to explore one of the most important leadership questions of our time:

How do you pursue excellence at work without sacrificing what matters most at home?

Randy shares powerful insights from decades of coaching leaders across Fortune 100 companies, professional sports teams, and nonprofits—along with lessons from his book Winning Begins at Home.

This conversation goes beyond clichés about work-life balance and gets practical about strategy, systems, presence, and love—and why winning at home actually makes you a better leader at work.

Please visit my website to get more information: https://calwalters.me/

00:00 – Welcome to 2026 & the Intentional Leader community

02:10 – Introducing Randy Gravitt & the tension leaders feel

03:40 – Strategic at work, sporadic at home

06:00 – Why family has quietly been diminished

07:45 – Being home but not really home

08:55 – Proximity does not equal intimacy

10:00 – The servant leadership tension

12:20 – Living in the center of the tension

13:45 – Begin with the end in mind

15:10 – You will never finish all the work

16:50 – Seasons turn into patterns

18:30 – The NFL Super Bowl story

21:00 – Leaving work at work

22:15 – Training presence like a discipline

23:30 – Rituals that help you be present

25:30 – Phone boundaries that actually work

27:40 – Winning the first hour of the day

29:40 – Why home life fuels work performance

32:10 – Choosing priorities on purpose

34:00 – The hidden cost of neglecting home

36:30 – "What kind of family do you want?"

38:40 – Family by design, not by default

41:00 – Marriage after the kids leave

43:00 – Don't go to bed angry

46:30 – Love first

49:50 – See a need, meet a need

54:00 – Final encouragement to leaders

59:00 – Key takeaways & closing challenge

➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup

📚 Get LTG (Ret.) Beagle's new book, When the Map Runs Out: https://www.amazon.com/When-Map-Runs-Out-Uncertain/dp/B0G1ZGH76J

As leaders rise, they often hear less and less truth. LTG (Ret.) Milford Beagle calls this the cone of silence—and he warns that it's one of the quietest ways leaders lose their true north.

In this episode, we explore how to lead when your "map" falls apart. General Beagle shares his journey from a stunned new platoon leader at Fort Polk to commanding the U.S. Army Combined Arms Center, and what he's learned about staying grounded, humble, and effective in uncertainty.

We dig into his new book, When the Map Runs Out: Values, Judgment, and Clarity in Uncertain Times, and talk about practical tools: a one-page "How to Handle Me" document, a journaling habit to process negative emotions, and how to invite real feedback without shutting people down.

If you're navigating change, promotion, or pressure to have all the answers, this conversation will help you lead with confidence and humility at the same time.

🔎 In This Episode, You'll Learn

• Why the higher you go, the more you're at risk of a cone of silence.

• How leaders lose true north—not from incompetence, but distortion.

• The difference between maps (plans, strategies, frameworks) and the compass (your values and judgment).

• Two key disciplines of leadership: bearing (self-awareness) and calibration (inviting others to check your bearing).

• How introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts can all be authentic leaders without pretending to be someone else.

• A practical tool: the "How to Handle Me" document that accelerates trust and clarifies expectations.

• How to create a culture where honest feedback is normal—especially for senior leaders.

• Why even three-star generals feel imposter syndrome, and how to work through it.

• How to provide clarity without certainty using "signposts on the road."

• Simple habits for resilience: journaling, reframing failure, and "always quit tomorrow."

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – The cone of silence: how leaders lose true north as they rise

01:56 – Cal's intro, the Intentional Leader Podcast, and LTG Beagle's background

03:15 – Fort Polk & the first platoon: "I felt like a leader… and not a very good one"

08:45 – From follower to leader: athletics, ROTC, and early moments when the map ran out

10:27 – Why When the Map Runs Out and the map/compass metaphor

12:36 – Frameworks, bearing, and calibration: why leaders need more than maps

16:54 – Authentic leadership for every personality type

22:57 – Designing a "How to Handle Me" one-pager for your team

26:27 – Examples: not liking details, humor, and getting quiet when processing

29:57 – Public speaking fear, reps & sets, and keeping the bar high

32:16 – Ego, promotion, and the cone of silence at senior levels

36:27 – Training your team to give you unvarnished feedback

40:24 – Feedback as the breakfast of champions (and why it stings)

42:09 – Imposter syndrome at the Combined Arms Center

46:01 – Clarity vs. certainty: the signpost town hall during organizational change

52:05 – True north and values: integrity, empathy, resilience, "quit tomorrow," loyalty

58:33 – The hurdles metaphor: falling, resilience, and running through obstacles

1:02:10 – Journaling to process emotion and see your own growth over time

1:07:17 – Time, priorities, and the cost of diluted focus

1:15:02 – Knowing your weaknesses and starting with them in interviews

1:16:15 – Where to find When the Map Runs Out and connect with LTG Beagle

1:17:53 – Cal's closing: four practical actions you can take this week

🧭 Practical Ways to Apply This Episode

1. Create your own "How to Handle Me" document

   • One page, honest, and specific: quirks, tendencies, what you're working on, and how people can best work with you.

2. Start (or restart) a journaling habit

   • For the next 7 days, write at least one sentence about how you're feeling and what you're facing.

3. Ask for one piece of real feedback

   • Pick one person you trust. Ask, "What's one thing I could do differently that would make me a better leader for you?" Then thank them.

4. Practice clarity in uncertainty

   • In one messy situation this week, clearly state:

     • What we know

     • What we don't know

     • What we're going to do next

Connect with Joe: https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephpmccormack/

Learn more about The Brief Lab: https://thebrieflab.com/

How do you become the kind of leader who cuts through noise, communicates with clarity, and actually moves people to action?

In this episode of the Intentional Leader Podcast, Cal talks with Joe McCormack—founder of The Brief Lab and author of Brief, Noise, and Quiet Works. Joe has trained elite military units and Fortune 500 executives to be clear, concise, and intentional communicators, and to rediscover the quiet that makes powerful communication possible.

They explore:

• Why noise is the real villain in your leadership story

• The "sword and shield" of effective communication: brief (cut through clutter) and quiet (protect your attention)

• Why being brief actually requires more preparation, not less

• The 3 levels of detail and how to stop overwhelming people

• How to build quiet into your day so you think better and lead better

• Why thinking time is part of your job, not a luxury

• How to use small pockets of quiet before and after meetings

• Practical ways to manage your phone instead of being managed by it

• How AI + quiet work can become a leadership superpower

If you've ever felt frustrated by endless meetings, rambling updates, or your own distracted brain, this conversation will give you practical tools you can use this week.

Episode Highlights

• Noise as the villain – How constant distractions, disruptions, and devices are eroding our ability to think and communicate.

• The brief & quiet toolkit – Brief is the sword that cuts through clutter; quiet is the shield that protects your attention so you can prepare.

• Why we overtalk – Insecurity, lack of preparation, ego, and a poor understanding of attention spans.

• The 3 levels of detail – Level 1 (headline), Level 2 (support), Level 3 (full detail). Most leadership moments only need Levels 1–2.

• Clarity like comedy – Sequence and timing matter. If it takes too long to get to the punchline, you lose people—even if the content is good.

• Quiet as an appointment – Why you should literally block quiet time on your calendar and not treat it like a "snow day."

• Quiet before collaboration – Simple practices like two minutes of silence at the start of meetings can transform outcomes.

• Redefining work in the AI age – Undistracted thinking is becoming a rare and valuable skill; AI works best when you can sit still and think.

• Your phone works for you – Reframing your phone as a tool, not a master.

Practical Takeaways

• Take 3 minutes before your next meeting or email to decide: What's my headline?

• Use Joe's 3 levels of detail filter: Am I giving a headline, a trailer, or the entire movie?

• Block 15 minutes of quiet in the morning and afternoon, and connect it directly to upcoming or recent communication.

• Start your next team meeting with 2 minutes of silence for everyone to think about what they want to say and what they hope to get out of the meeting.

• Put your phone in another room for your quiet block and remind yourself: My phone works for me; I don't work for it.

How do the best military leaders go from operating at an already elite level… to an even higher level under pressure?

In this episode, Army psychologist Dr. Liz Werly (who works directly with some of the U.S. military's most elite units) breaks down the exact framework she uses to help high performers:

• build accurate self-awareness using gold-standard assessments,

• "engineer" their personality to fit the context (calm under fire and present at home),

• develop emotional intelligence as the differentiator once IQ and talent are in place, and

• translate values into visible daily behaviors that protect what matters most.

We also dig into groundedness and intentionality as core high-performance habits, the basics that leaders ignore at their own risk (sleep, rhythm, connection), and how generational shifts and resiliency trends are reshaping today's force and workplaces.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How Dr. Werly assesses elite leaders (IQ, Big Five, emotional measures) and turns data into a growth plan

• Why emotional intelligence becomes more important than raw intellect at higher levels of leadership

• A simple values → beliefs → behaviors framework (including the "20-minute Lego" example)

• How to recognize when your strengths (e.g., robotic under pressure) become liabilities at home or with your team

• Practical tools for grounding, bandwidth management, and emotional "dialing"

• What leaders need to understand about younger generations, resiliency, and expectations

If you're already a high performer and want to become a more grounded, self-aware, and sustainable leader, this conversation is for you.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Connect with Dr. Liz Werly on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-h-werly-psy-d-b843b817/

• Join the waitlist for the next Intentional Leader Lab cohort: intentionalleaderlab.com

The views expressed in this episode are those of the participants and do not represent the official position of the U.S. Government or the U.S. Army.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro – How elite leaders go from high to higher

00:33 Disclaimer + what this episode will cover

01:06 Welcome to The Intentional Leader Podcast + IL Lab mention

01:36 Meet Dr. Liz Werly & her work with elite military units

03:35 "If I walked into your office…" – her framework for high performers

05:19 Patterns, personality, and "engineering" your strengths

07:42 Robotic under pressure, distant at home – dialing traits up/down

09:20 Big Five, gold-standard assessments & why cheap tests fall short

11:24 Why tests need interpretation, not labels

13:18 How leaders react when they see their data

16:50 Values-based goals & Acceptance and Commitment mindset

18:58 IQ vs personality vs EQ – what you can actually change

21:00 The four pillars of emotional intelligence (Liz's breakdown)

24:25 Why EQ is the edge once IQ is "good enough"

24:50 Groundedness & intentionality as #1 performance levers

26:44 Designing your "ideal day" for this season of life

29:04 Sleep, basics, and whole-person performance

29:50 Values → beliefs → behaviors (the 20-minute Lego example)

32:36 When values collide (deployments, travel, guilt & shame)

34:44 Emotions as information vs letting emotions drive decisions

36:30 Generational friction & why it's an emotional intelligence issue

39:25 Tech, expectations, and how younger leaders are different

41:06 Resiliency, safety culture, and maturity gaps

43:18 Recruiting, mental health, and opportunity in today's force

45:00 Where to connect with Liz + her final advice to leaders

46:24 Outro – 5 practical challenges: grounding, values, bandwidth, dialing, feedback

Apply to work with me 1-1: https://courses.calwalters.me/coaching

Join the Intentional Leader Lab waitlist: https://courses.calwalters.me/intentional-leader-lab

Learn more about Zach: https://www.zachmercurio.com/

In this conversation, Dr. Zach Mercurio discusses the importance of creating a sense of purpose and mattering within teams. He emphasizes that feeling valued is a basic human instinct and that leaders play a crucial role in fostering an environment where everyone feels significant. The discussion covers the psychological impacts of not feeling like one matters, the barriers leaders face in demonstrating care, and practical strategies for enhancing team dynamics through small, intentional interactions. The conversation ultimately highlights the shift from traditional command-and-control leadership to a more trust-based approach that prioritizes relationships and emotional intelligence.

00:00 Creating a Sense of Purpose in Teams

02:10 Understanding the Cost of Not Mattering

04:28 The Role of Leaders in Mattering

07:56 The Importance of Mattering in Work and Life

11:41 Barriers to Caring in Leadership

16:10 The Shift from Command and Control to Trust-Based Leadership

19:35 Leading Indicators vs. Lagging Indicators

23:28 The Power of Small Interactions

28:59 Practical Actions for Leaders to Show Mattering

44:26 Noticing, Affirming, and Needing in Leadership

Update: Now only 6 spots left in the Intentional Leader Lab!

➡️ Learn about the Intentional Leader Lab: https://intentionalleaderlab.com

Book a call: https://tally.so/r/w8X6dz

Apply today: https://tally.so/r/nr40XM

Please visit my website to get more information: https://calwalters.me/

In this episode, Dr. Ryan Gottfredson returns to discuss the concepts of trauma, vertical development, and the distinction between 'being' and 'doing' in leadership. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and healing one's internal operating system to achieve true personal transformation. The conversation explores how mindsets shape our experiences and the role of emotional intelligence in effective leadership. Ryan shares his personal journey of transformation and the impact of trauma on leadership effectiveness, providing insights into how leaders can grow both personally and professionally.

00:00 Introduction to the Intentional Leader Lab

01:12 Deep Dive with Dr. Ryan Gottfredson

02:35 Exploring Mindsets and Personal Transformation

04:49 The Importance of Vertical Development

11:13 Understanding Self-Protective Fears

16:12 The Doing Side vs. The Being Side

22:42 The Impact of Trauma on Leadership

29:58 Emotional Intelligence and Its Connection to Being

38:47 The Neuroscience of Emotional Intelligence

44:23 Ryan's Personal Journey of Transformation

50:40 Final Thoughts on Becoming Better

Takeaways

- The Intentional Leader Lab offers a six-month leadership experience

- Dr. Ryan Gottfredson emphasizes the importance of vertical development

- Mindsets are crucial for personal transformation

- Self-protective fears can hinder leadership growth

- The distinction between doing and being is vital for leaders

- Emotional intelligence is primarily a being side ability

- Trauma can significantly impact leadership effectiveness

- Awareness is the first step towards transformation

- Expanding your window of tolerance is essential for growth

- Healing one's internal operating system is key to becoming better

#leadership #leader #leadershipdevelopment #emotionalintelligence #podcast #personalgrowth #growth #growthmindset #growthjourney #trauma #traumahealing #selfimprovement #selfcare #selflove #selfgrowth #intentionalliving #fear #fearless #team #teamwork #neuroscience #science

➡️ Learn about the Intentional Leader Lab: https://intentionalleaderlab.com

Book a call: https://tally.so/r/w8X6dz

Apply today: https://tally.so/r/nr40XM

The Intentional Leader Lab: A Mastermind for Successful Leaders Who Refuse to Plateau Even the best leaders can drift, but this carefully curated leadership community and Cal's Narrow Path™ Framework give you the tools, accountability, and systems to accelerate your growth. Only 11 spots left.

➡️ Apply to the Intentional Leader Lab (only 12 slots available): https://intentionalleaderlab.com/

In this conversation, Cal introduces the Intentional Leader Lab, a coaching program aimed at enhancing leadership skills through emotional intelligence. Dr. Travis Bradberry, an expert in emotional intelligence, discusses its significance in leadership, differentiating it from IQ, and the importance of self-awareness, self-management, and social awareness. The conversation emphasizes practical strategies for developing emotional intelligence and the impact it has on personal and professional relationships.

Dr. Travis Bradberry is a best-selling author and a leading expert in emotional intelligence (EQ), co-authoring the #1 bestseller Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the book The New Emotional Intelligence. He co-founded TalentSmart, a provider of EQ assessments and training used by many Fortune 500 companies, and is currently the Chief People Scientist at LEADx. His work focuses on practical strategies and new research to help people improve their EQ, which impacts behavior, decision-making, and relationships.

➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup

🧭 Clarify Your Core Values: https://calwalters.me/course

In this conversation, Melody Wilding, an expert in managing up, discusses the essential skills and strategies needed to influence your boss and navigate workplace dynamics effectively. She emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence, establishing alignment, and taking ownership in your role. The discussion also covers setting boundaries, giving and receiving feedback, and the concept of the triple win, which focuses on finding mutually beneficial solutions for yourself, your boss, and the organization.

Melody Wilding is the bestselling author of Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work and the Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge.

Melody is a licensed social worker with a master's degree from Columbia University, professor of human behavior at Hunter College in New York City, and former emotions researcher at Rutgers University.

For more than a decade, she's helped top performers and leadership at the world's most successful companies — including Google, JP Morgan, and Verizon — to communicate more clearly, prevent burnout, and transform complicated workplace dynamics into powerful alliances that impact the bottom line.

Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and dozens of other respected publications. She's a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Fast Company, and CNBC.

➡️ Connect with Melody: https://melodywilding.com/

00:00 Mastering the Art of Managing Up

01:23 Understanding the Concept of Managing Up

05:37 Navigating Workplace Dynamics

07:52 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

11:55 The Power of Effective Conversations

15:35 The Triple Win Concept

20:21 Establishing Alignment with Your Boss

39:57 Taking Ownership in Your Role

49:50 Setting Boundaries for Success

53:35 Giving and Receiving Feedback Effectively

Please visit my website to get more information: https://calwalters.me/

🔔𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬. https://www.youtube.com/@intentionalleader_calwalters/?sub_confirmation=1

➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup

In this episode of the Intentional Leader podcast, Cal and Patrick Lencioni delve into the core motivations behind leadership, emphasizing the importance of serving others over seeking personal gain. They discuss the impact of fear on leadership effectiveness, the necessity of daily self-reflection, and the significance of understanding one's wounds in shaping leadership styles. The conversation also touches on the importance of unity within organizations and offers practical advice for leaders at various stages of their careers, encouraging self-discovery and intentionality in leadership practices.

Go deeper with Pat and his work:

- The Table Group: https://www.tablegroup.com/?srsltid=AfmBOooh27JebY2gN8wRMxtvnSo_5oO9jcZ6r0y7cdrS00K2kPh_-E0O

- The Working Genius Assessment: https://www.workinggenius.com/

- At the Table Podcast: https://www.tablegroup.com/pat/#podcasters

00:00 The Essence of Leadership Motivation

02:55 Understanding the True Motive Behind Leadership

05:41 The Impact of Fear on Leadership

08:46 Daily Reflections and Intentions

11:36 The Importance of Self-Discovery in Leadership

14:40 Navigating Leadership Through Different Life Stages

17:33 The Role of Wounds in Shaping Leadership

20:26 Finding Peace Beyond Success

23:29 Unity in Leadership and Organizations

26:46 Advice for Young Leaders

29:28 The Journey of Self-Awareness

32:36 Leadership in the Later Stages of Life

35:31 Creating Cohesion in Divided Times

Please visit my website to get more information: https://calwalters.me/

🔔𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬. https://www.youtube.com/@intentionalleader_calwalters/?sub_confirmation=1

⭐⭐⭐ Audio Podcast is currently on your favorite platforms:

ApplePodcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/intentional-leader-with-cal-walters/id1468715294

Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/41qlvUJj1Ej0hzNp3dC5wn

🔗 Support Me Here! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/calwalters

🔗 Stay Connected With Me. Linkedin (Cal Walters): https://www.linkedin.com/in/cal-walters-5571b824/

Linkedin (Intentional Leader): https://www.linkedin.com/company/intentional-living-leadership/

Website: https://calwalters.me/

📩 For business inquiries: [email protected]