Weekly, comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh.
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SPONSORS: - Head to https://bubblycleaning.com/Bears to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Bubbly Cleaning for sponsoring this episode! - Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. - Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code CAVE at https://www.Ridge.com/CAVE #Ridgepod
- Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kershire are LIVE from the 2 Bears 5k in Tampa Bay Florida! They aren't alone either, the bears are joined by not one, not two, but three guest bears! Joining Tom and Bert are rapper/running enthusiast N.O.R.E, as well as, former NFL players/Super Bowl champs, Jason Kelce and Beau Allen. The group all get together to talk about the real challenges of the 2 Bears 5k, who the best drinkers are, running, nicknames, dictators, Hype Williams, stupid purchases, and so much more. Enjoy the show! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 288 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:17 - N.O.R.E 00:14:48 - Japanese Whiskey 00:20:12 - Beau Allen & Jason Kelce 00:26:33 - The Best Drinkers & Worst NFL Matchups 00:35:33 - Nicknames & Dictators 00:42:02 - Hype Williams 00:45:39 - NFL Rookies 00:53:51 - Drinking Before A Big Game 00:58:23 - Stupid Purchases 01:06:16 - Wrap Up
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SPONSORS: - Buy Jack Link's Duos at https://JackLinks.com/DUOS or at your local convenience, gas, grocery store or subscribe and save on Amazon. - Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/bears! #squarepod - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping. - Brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/bears to get 10% off your first month. On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the legendary storyteller himself—MrBallen! Get ready for an epic conversation as they dive into some of the wildest true crime mysteries and horror stories, including the chilling unsolved case of the Yuba County Five and a gruesome incident on an oil rig that will haunt your dreams. They also explore mind-blowing topics like habitable exoplanets, Katy Perry’s space adventure, and MrBallen’s incredible journey from Navy SEAL to YouTube sensation. Don't miss this one—it's a mix of mystery, mayhem, and a whole lot of laughs. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 287 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:15 - The Strange, Dark, & Mysterious World Of MrBallen 00:07:29 - Why True Crime? 00:14:03 - The Stories That Stick With You 00:28:10 - The Yuba County Five 00:35:45 - Exoplanets 00:40:57 - Katy Perry In Space 00:44:47 - First Day On Seal Team 2 00:58:44 - New Career Path 01:10:06 - Grenade Moment
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Check out Bert's new special "Lucky" streaming on Netflix! The 2 Bears 5k is this Sunday! There’s still time to sign up and join us in Tampa at Raymond James Stadium! Sign up at https://www.2bears5k.com/#intro SPONSORS: - Go to https://shipstation.com and use code CAVE to sign up for your FREE trial. - Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @drinklightstrike. - You can find Cremo’s new line of antiperspirants and deodorants at Target or https://Target.com - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. - Head to https://policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer is joined by legendary funnyman and certified bear Thomas Lennon for one of the wildest rides yet. No stranger to confrontations, Thomas tells Bert some stories about a fight he got into in the real-world and the internet. They dive into the Amazon reviews of Mein Kampf, unpack the all-female Blue Origin space flight, and debate which celebs should be launched into orbit next. Thomas also opens up about working with Christopher Nolan, shares the weirdest thing he’s ever used his fame for, and the two squirm over some spelunking stories. The two also discuss claustrophobia, Tom's basketball injury, suicide pods in Switzerland, and whether getting beat up by a woman is a fair fight. From film criticism to Karen moments, to the legendary Pink Palace, this episode has it all! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 286 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:23 - Mein Kampf 00:06:34 - Women In Space 00:11:03 - Happy Endings 00:18:18 - Back To The Lady Astronauts 00:22:37 - Thrill Seeking 00:26:00 - Caves 00:35:53 - A Funny Death 00:40:05 - Fame 00:45:47 - Tom's Broken Body 00:49:37 - Swiss Unalive Pods 00:56:38 - The Man Who Would Be King 00:59:44 - Christopher Nolan Movies 01:07:24 - Film Criticism 01:22:27 - Confrontations 01:34:57 - Cop Stuff 01:39:34 - Karen Moments 01:42:57 - Can't We All Just Get Along 01:49:38 - Couples Therapy & The Space Draft 01:55:31 - Body Acceptance
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Check out Bert's new special "Lucky" streaming on Netflix!
The 2 Bears, 5K in Tampa is less than 2 weeks away! Sign up at https://www.2bears5k.com/#intro
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This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kershire and Tim Segura are hooked up to IV's as they recover from their gay bar takeover and all the love the received from all those hungry bears. They talk Instagram FOMO, the magic of minority women making meals for their husbands, a chola influencer named La Sleep that Bert is obsessed with, and the performative nature of social media. They also talk about the appeal of the Kelce brothers to gays, share the unique name of a cocktail that was invented at the takeover, debate which group of people gives the best compliments, and finally they tackle the subject of sampling your own sauce, which means exactly what you think it means. Enjoy the show!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 285
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Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:56 - Post Takeover IV Drip
00:08:56 - Watches
00:15:31 - Car Guys & Dogs
00:21:15 - Bert Is A Mexican Woman
00:28:28 - Gay Black Couple Meals
00:33:10 - The Cholo Life
00:36:51 - Instagram FOMO
00:45:51 - Gay Compliments
00:53:53 - Kelce Bears, UTI's, & Sampling Your Own Sauce
01:01:22 - Clip: Drinking An Ari Cocktail
01:08:35 - How Much To Taste?
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Check out Bert's new special "Lucky" streaming on Netflix!
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Tom and Bert are back in the cave and things get spicy fast.
This week the Bears dive into alternative p*rn genres you didn’t know you needed, celebrate the beauty of international women, and break down the logic and logistics behind the noble art of “homie head.” They also mentally prepare for a Por Osos gay bar takeover and talk the top 5 hot chick accents. Next, Bert recounts his unforgettable Monday Night RAW moment where he went full low-IQ adult and choke slammed two dudes on live TV! Then it’s onto arranged marriages, glory holes, and other socially important topics. Pack a towel, this one gets sweaty.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 284
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:23 - Alternative P*rn
00:07:41 - Normalize Homie Head
00:14:11 - Por Osos Gay Bar Takeover
00:18:58 - Bert Choke Slammed Two Dudes
00:31:25 - The Wrestling Bug
00:40:15 - Retirement Community Idea
00:45:42 - International Delights
00:51:31 - Hottest Chick Accents
00:59:22 - Arranged Marriages
01:04:10 - Glory Holes, Milking Tables, & Sexy Nurses
01:09:51 - MSG & Summer Break
01:17:56 - Wrap Up
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Check out Bert's new special "Lucky" streaming on Netflix!
Tom just announced Fall dates for his Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour. Presale starts April 2nd, use code TOMMY.
Watch Kyle Dunnigan on Kill Tony on Netflix today!
SPONSORS:
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This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave we have Tom Segura and guest bear Kyle Dunnigan! After both appearing on "Kill Tony: Kill Or Be Killed", now streaming on Netflix, they've got some thoughts and reactions from that insane event to share with of you. They also discuss Kyle's weird dating history, his interest in taller women, and how he finds dates in a world of dating apps. Kyle also has a massive collection of impressions he unloads, including Caitlyn Jenner, RFK Jr, Joe Biden, and the infamous Bill Maher impression that Bill Maher just absolutely loves okaaayy. They also exchange stories about bombing at private events and Kyle tells Tom all about the time he worked Tony Robbins' weird birthday party. Lot of stories, lot of impressions, check it out!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 283
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:14 - Tall Chicks, Kinks, & Awkward Hook-ups
00:07:56 - Kill Tony: Kill Or Be Killed
00:13:14 - Favorite Dating App
00:19:19 - Contrarian Dating History
00:30:02 - How To Pick Up A Woman
00:40:05 - Kyle's Instagram Impressions
00:48:53 - Elon Musk
00:52:59 - Tony Robbins Birthday
00:55:59 - Tony Big Words
01:00:31 - Bombing At Private Events
01:10:05 - Always Working
01:12:47 - Kyle Wants To Be Adopted
01:16:51 - Wrap Up
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Check out Bert's new special "Lucky" streaming on Netflix!
Tom just announced Fall dates for his Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour. Presale starts April 2nd, use code TOMMY.
SPONSORS:
- Visit https://tonal.com and use promo code BEARS for $200 off your purchase.
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- Make friends and grab some merch at https://www.drinkporosos.com/
Joey "CoCo" Diaz is back, baby! This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer welcomes the legend himself, Joey Diaz to join him in the cave. Uncle Joey recently had a health scare and was forced to spend some time in the hospital. He's doing alright now, but the worst part about it all was the blue balls and repressed feelings of horniness he felt. Jose and Bart also talk about falling back in love with comedy, slowing down your touring, the mass comedy exodus of Los Angeles, moving during a pandemic, the early days doing comedy with Rogan, the best Ralphie May stories, comic actors, saying whatever you want, and how important parking spots are in major cities. Enjoy the show!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 282
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:43 - Falling Back In Love With Comedy
00:08:06 - Early Days With Rogan
00:15:29 - Slowing Down
00:19:49 - Reality Calls
00:30:04 - Parking Perks
00:32:30 - Hospital
00:41:48 - The Podcasting Problem
00:47:19 - Specials & Live Albums
00:52:46 - Ralphie May
01:17:35 - Future Plans, Pandemic Moves, & Los Angeles
01:25:20 - Say Whatever You Want
01:28:29 - Comics & Comic Actors
01:34:01 - Farts & Plugs
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Check out Bert's new special "Lucky" streaming on Netflix!
SPONSORS:
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- Make friends and grab some merch at https://www.drinkporosos.com/
Bert and Tom take 2 Bears 1 Cave on location at SXSW, broadcasting straight from The Portal, a Por Osos sponsored party house—where the drinks are flowing, fans are mingling, and people are literally jumping off the roof into the pool.
The chaos kicks off as Bert calls back to an insane AI-generated video called "Fat N-word Season," that does in fact exist. From there, they tackle the big questions in life, like what is the perfect boob size and do Black guys really not always fit all the way in during intercourse?
They also get deep about comedians being forgotten in pop culture history, before immediately pivoting to Bert’s questionable SXSW outfit and how he narrowly avoided disaster with Magic Johnson. Ari Shaffir’s name comes up, Bert lays some praise on Tom for his Robert Smith costume on YMH Live X, and Tom tries to wrap his head around Bert becoming friends with Mel Gibson at a UFC event—which might just be the most Bert Kreischer thing ever.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 281
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:47 - Fat Big Word Season
00:07:07 - Perfect Size
00:14:15 - The Legacy Of Comedians
00:18:48 - Dudes Jumping Off The Roof & Ari Shaffir
00:28:16 - Bert's Outfit
00:32:29 - Magic Johnson & King's Coronation
00:38:28 - Mel Gibson
00:48:08 - YMH Live X
00:55:35 - Hunger For Touring & Hanging With Fans
01:03:22 - Bert's Death Wish
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In this wild episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom's co-host Bert is nursing a wing injury, so Tom has brought in a man who knows a thing a two about wings, the great Sean Evans!
Sean hosts the hottest interview show Hot Ones and sits in the interview chair to play Tom's own version of Hot Ones, except it involves scrotum sniffing...you'll see. The two chat about how the show has become a cultural phenomenon, the legacy of Chicago sports, Sasquatch, handwritten Quentin Tarantino scripts, weathermen, deep dish pizza, the Oscars, Bryce Mitchell, trustworthy news anchors, and Tom reveals when he will finally start watching "Severance". Sean also tells a cool story about how he became friends with Dave Grohl despite being kinda responsible for him shitting himself. Enjoy the show!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 280
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:18 - Hot Ones
00:10:11 - Beautiful Bald Hotties
00:15:18 - Tom's Show Pitch
00:21:46 - How's Your Anus Doing?
00:26:06 - Chicargo Sports
00:35:22 - Sasquatch & Quentin Tarantino
00:40:01 - The Oscars
00:44:50 - Bryce Mitchell
00:51:13 - Chicago Deep Dish, Porn Docs, & Weathermen
00:57:32 - Clip: David Letterman The Weatherman
00:58:44 - National News Guys
01:03:31 - This Guy Gets It
01:09:19 - What's Sean Watching
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In this wet and mild episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together to catch up on everything that's been going on since the last time they were face to face. They debate who the strongest comedian is, Bert claims it's himself, Tom suggests Godfrey or Carrot Top. Who do you think it is? The bears also talk about how cities kind of blow, Bob Dylan sorta sucks, Mussolini inventing fascism, Bert's big summer plans, Chrissy D performing at MSG on 9/11, plus some Oscars thoughts, some opinions on refrigerated food, and the different flavors of Spanish around the world. Enjoy the show!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 279
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:12 - Strongest Comedian Living
00:09:16 - Medical Emergency In Show
00:17:43 - Georgia's Trip To Spain
00:22:45 - Bert's IG Feed
00:26:28 - Horrible IG Feed
00:31:31 - Mussolini Deep Dive
00:35:42 - Mean Girls
00:39:53 - Fridge Food
00:41:33 - Coffee Drinks
00:46:27 - Top Dog Coffee
00:53:10 - Spanish Accents
00:59:10 - Emilia Perez
01:02:00 - The Oscars Are Over
01:06:24 - Bob Dylan
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