Tubes & tantrums. Safiyyah (27) and Katya (53) don’t want kids, and they’ve made sure of it. 

We talked about how a Reddit thread lead to Safiyyah getting her tubes removed at 25. We talked about Katya getting a hysterectomy at 30. They’ve both been living their best lives ever since.

We talked about how some mums don’t look like they're having fun, familial, societal and gendered pressure especially  as Black and Latina women, children being seen as an accomplishment, and remixing what a family looks like. Also, how choices are structural and political. 

Also, heteronormativity and capitalism and dating and dying alone and not hating kids. 

Enjoy and welcome to season 4!! Sending you love! 

Timestamp for abortion story: 09:55 - 11:15

Fact checking & links!

• Safiyyah's video (with more links)
• Black women and childbirth mortality
• Cost of raising children in the U.S.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Extraction & erasure. It’s the season 3 finale!! Black African music, art and language are co-opted and stolen globally - from Tik Tok to the DJ scene to dance to activism.

I chat with Samira about being a Black African creative in Australia.

We discuss what it means to extract Black talent, labour, ideas and intellect. We focus on how non-Black ‘people of colour’ consume Black people to gain money and social capital. We go beyond appropriation and discuss the violence of extraction in all areas of the arts and media. Of course, colourism enters the chat as we unpack who gets to say things and what it means to be silent; who is protected and who is erased. 

We discuss our love for Black Twitter, the power of the group chat, Black critique, Love Island and more. We end with an ode to Black histories, Black futures and Black possibilities. We revel in the beauty and sacredness of global Blackness and global Africanness. 

Some of the gworls are going to be upset by this episode but we move! I can’t thank Samira enough. We really put our hearts into this. This conversation was a balm - it felt safe. Samira peeled back LAYERS. I’m telling you the range is on another level. I’ll be coming back to the episode for years to come. 

It’s long and it’s beautiful and it’s needed. 

Enjoy! There's a little emotional season farewell at the end from me too hehe. Sending love <3

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts)

Samira's Links!

• The Score on Triple R - Wednesdays from 9am to noon
• Still Nomads

Intro Clips by these brilliant people: 

• Kahlil Greene -  Tik Tok video on 'Awkwafina's Blaccent'
• Excerpt of Ousmane Sembène from the documentary Camera d’Afrique (1983) dir. Ferid Boughedir - translation: "Europe is not my centre. Europe is on the outskirts to Africa. Why be a sunflower and turn towards the sun? I myself am the sun!" 
• Kameelah Janan Rasheed in ‘the Edge of Legibility' by Art21 
• Kimberly Foster  - 'Ariana Grande really wants to be mixed’ video 
• Ama Ata Aidoo 

Past episodes mentioned:

• Subtleties of Being Bla[c]k on Black Land
• Subtleties of Bla[c]k Solidarity with Eugenia Flynn
• Subtleties of Desirability with Sangeetha Thanapal

People/articles/books mentioned:

• Trudy who helped Moya Bailey develop the term misogynoir 
• Moya Bailey who coined the term misogynoir 

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Family & fragility. Tigist Kebede (@thetenatherapist) is a therapist based in Naarm (Melbourne). Friends, it’s been a tough few years in the panasonic and life in general, whew! Therapy is something I’m very grateful for. Tigist and I talk about everything from decolonising therapy to seeing your clients at community events. 

We talk about seeing therapy as a service, how eldest daughters in immigrant families deserve the world, how proximity in small minority groups affects therapy, white supremacy in the mental health field, seeking out a therapist with similar identities to you, anti-Blackness in the mental health & medical field, navigating family members/community members who don’t go to therapy (but probably should), breaking generational cycles, Black burnout, how therapy can help us all + much more!

There’s something for everyone here - whether you’re looking for a therapist, are currently in therapy, or hope to be. Tigist is fun and beautifully honest - bringing us structural critiques and weaving in her own stories and vulnerabilities. 

Sending love and tenderness your way!!

Follow Tigist here for mental health resources!

A Directory of Mental Health Support (Aotearoa NZ & so-called Australia) created by @ourdirectory is available here.

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts)

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

The Subtlety of It is created, hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Rest & remuneration. Elsa and I tackle some big questions about working in this episode. We talk about class, doing less, the wildness that occurs in the not-for-profit sector, anti-capitalist strategies in this v capitalist world, paying people for their labour, the ethics of making money doing social justice work, the tea on being a racial justice educator, how being poor can be an aesthetic within social justice spaces, rest, joy, Jewishness and much more!

Find out more about Hue. Colour the Conversation here

Elsa's Instagram

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts)

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

The Subtlety of It is created, hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Hotness & hierarchies. We’re diving into the very blonde and sometimes strange world of sororities and Greek life.

Sara and Nickie gave us some juicy intel on what actually goes in during rush (recruitment). We talked about whether you need to be hot to be selected, what sororities actually do, their relationship with fraternities, party culture, those slightly spooky chants and songs, sexism, Tik Tok, safety, sisterhood, being Black and queer in a sorority, privilege, access, racism + much more!

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts)

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

The Subtlety of It is created, hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Class & chai. So many conversations about identity politics are about living in the West. Voices from the Global South get erased far too often, and there are countless folks there who are doing IT! Dilpreet and I zoom in on India in this conversation.  

We talk about how the first world is a scam, accent + dollar privileges, moving beyond chai activism, how not all international students are rich, living in India vs travelling there, activism and feminism in India, white people going to India to ‘find themselves’, being a journalist and so much more! 

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts)

Dilpreet's links!

• South Asian Today
• Item Number podcast

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

The Subtlety of It is created, hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Land & language. Eugenia Flynn and I talk about how we will not succeed in doing racial justice and solidarity work without centring Indigenous people, how it’s become cool to be in solidarity with Bla(c)k people, the beautiful and powerful intertwining of Bla(c)kness and Indigenity in so-called Australia, being Asian (Chinese Malaysian) and Aboriginal and the erased history of marriages between these communities, why class conversations need to always enter the chat, complicating group identifiers such as BIPOC, POC and Asian, and looking at them in an Australian context, working in the arts, why migrant exceptionalism is bs + much more! 

Eugenia's links:

• Eugenia's blog - links to her writing and interviews - Black Thoughts Live Here
• Eugenia's Twitter

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts + links to First Nations organisations)

Past episodes and people mentioned + topics explored from different angles:

• Subtleties of Being Bla(c)k on Black Land
• Subtleties of Desirability w/ Sangeetha Thanapal
• We talk about class a lot on the podcast, but for a more in-depth discussion - Subtleties of Financial Shame 
• More discussions on anti-Blackness from non-Black people - Subtleties of Looking Average & Subtleties of Shutting Up
• Dr Kevin Nadal 
• Professor Irene Watson
• Peta Stephenson's book - Outsider's Within: Telling Australia's Indigenous-Asian Story 

I will add further episode related links soon! :) 

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

The Subtlety of It is hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Apps & apprehension. Two podcast faves, Ayman (Subtleties of Male Vulnerability) and Adj (Subtleties of Shutting Up), are back, and we’re delving into the world of dating while Black!

We discuss the difference between dating and dates, whether ethnic filtering on dating apps is problematic, the royal-tea on Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, dating standards, being Black and queer on the dating scene, how people tell on themselves, internalised anti-blackness, the issues that come with racism from a partner’s friends & family + more! 

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit | https://www.instagram.com/thesubtletyofit/ 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit | https://twitter.com/thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts): https://linktr.ee/thesubtletyofitpodcast

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

The Subtlety of It is hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page | https://www.instagram.com/kathleenpage.studio/ 

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit on Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/mattymadeit/ 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Black & botched. Last year, Princess got a nose job in South Korea and let’s just say the surgery did not go to plan. 

We break down what an 'ethnic rhinoplasty' is, discuss living as a Black woman in South Korea, regret, how her friends reacted to her getting a nose job, not telling family, shady surgeons, the finances and accessibility of plastic surgery, featurism + colourism within Black communities, waking up in the middle of the surgery, not getting the results you asked for, breakups + heartbreak, familial love, whether generic self love advice is bs, celebrity culture, attitudes towards plastic surgery in Black communities in the U.K. vs her experience in South Korea, crying online, healing, and a whole lot more + receipts! 

Princess’ Youtube Video: Part 2: MY BOTCHED NOSE JOB  EXPERIENCE IN KOREA (RHINOPLASTY)

Related Episodes

Subtleties of Looking Average (and an important message): https://open.spotify.com/episode/5JVrktlJfUaA5CY7AfYzx9?si=A8jbpLjDS_aYTBGEsjiGcw 

Subtleties of Desirability: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Tl1V6Gkub6WDeoQoWDso1?si=sRvWsaAvRZWZxJELjywqTg 

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit | https://www.instagram.com/thesubtletyofit/ 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit | https://twitter.com/thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts): https://linktr.ee/thesubtletyofitpodcast

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

The Subtlety of It is created, hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page | https://www.instagram.com/kathleenpage.studio/ 

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit on Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/mattymadeit/ 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Mocktails & mental breakdowns. Awura Abena doesn’t drink and we don’t really know why. In this ep, we get to the bottom of it. 

We chat about never being drunk before, being the sober friend throughout your teens and twenties, hating parties, being perceived as boring and judgemental, why goon sacks are trash but popular, social anxiety, people asking you why you don’t drink, how not drinking affects friendships + relationships more generally, whether alcohol makes you less attractive, hating the taste of alcohol, what ‘fun’ looks like, normalising going for a smoothie, the romanticisation of alcohol, why boat parties ain’t it, doing you, Awura Abena’s tips for protecting your peace (sober edition) + much more! 

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit | https://www.instagram.com/thesubtletyofit/ 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit | https://twitter.com/thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts): https://linktr.ee/thesubtletyofitpodcast

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

The Subtlety of It is hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page | https://www.instagram.com/kathleenpage.studio/ 

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit on Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/mattymadeit/ 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit

Rings & religion. Huda and Katie both got married in their early 20s.

We talked about not wanting people to know you’re married, Bridgerton, divorce, fear of doing too many dishes, marriage & dating in a Muslim Pakistani community & a white Evangelical christian community, pressure to get married, fear of being seen as less ambitious, whether getting married young is wasting your 20s, Pinterest boards, love, judgmental aunties, careers, being in an interracial marriage, how their communities perceive single women vs. single men, marriage as a historically oppressive institution, not wearing a ring, equality in the home & gender roles, marriage as a legal contract, feminism, eloping, expensive weddings, finding the right person + much more! 

Thanks for listening! Subscribe/follow to stay up to date on episodes this season!

• Instagram: @thesubtletyofit | https://www.instagram.com/thesubtletyofit/ 
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @thesubtletyofit | https://twitter.com/thesubtletyofit 
• Link tree (with episode transcripts): https://linktr.ee/thesubtletyofitpodcast

The Subtlety of It is recorded and produced on the stolen land of the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to the Ancestors who protect this sacred land and live and speak through community members. I pay my respects to Elders and community members who are the ongoing custodians of this land and pass on knowledge through generations. Sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was, always will be, Aboriginal land.

Enjoying the podcast? Please leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts :)

The Subtlety of It is hosted and produced by Nana.

Podcast cover design by Kathleen Page | https://www.instagram.com/kathleenpage.studio/ 

Podcast intro and outro theme music by @mattymadeit on Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/mattymadeit/ 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

IG: @thesubtletyofit