Healing Through Movement: Embodied Dance, Trauma & Reclaiming Your Body with Allison Pagano

This conversation goes somewhere unexpected and beautiful.

Allison Pagano is the creator of Embodied Dance, a body of work she accidentally built over 25 years that uses dance and movement as a healing art. She leads teacher trainings, works with clients one-to-one, and has spent decades helping people reconnect to their body's truth and reclaim their power from the inside out. She also has her own deeply personal story of recovery, which is where all of this began.

We talk about how the body stores what the mind cannot name, why being witnessed in raw vulnerability is one of the most profound forms of healing, and what it looks like to turn your emotions over to the body and let it lead.

This episode is for you if:

• You feel disconnected from your body and live mostly in your head
• You have emotions that feel too big, too scary or completely inaccessible
• You've done mindset work but sense there is something deeper that hasn't shifted yet
• You struggle with rage, grief or fear and have no idea how to express them safely
• You want to understand how trauma is stored in the body and how movement can release it
• You have never danced in your life and wonder if any of this could possibly be for you

In this episode, we cover:

✨ How Allison accidentally created Embodied Dance while in the middle of her own eating disorder recovery

✨ The moment of being witnessed in raw vulnerability that changed everything for her

✨ How lineage pain, trauma passed down through generations, shows up in our own bodies

✨ The process of following emotion as a thread through the body, from activation to full expression

✨ Why you do not need to know where something came from to begin healing it

✨ Pre-verbal trauma and how the body holds memories the mind cannot access

✨ How to begin if you are completely disconnected and cannot feel anything at all

✨ Rage as a power reclamation: why owning your anger gives you access to more of everything

✨ What to do when you cannot physically express an emotion in the moment

✨ Why the cup that holds your grief also holds your joy: feeling more of one opens you to more of everything

✨ Victoria's mirror work story: what started as rage led to a memory that had nothing to do with her body at all

✨ How creating new movement qualities rewires the brain through neuroplasticity

✨ Why you need absolutely no dance experience to benefit from this work

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "The body never lies. No matter what a person is saying, their body is always telling the truth."

💬 "On the other side of doing this work is everything you ever wanted: safety, peace, and feeling at home in yourself."

💬 "When you deepen into the rage or the grief, you get back ten times your aliveness, ten times your joy, ten times your pleasure."

💬 "Your body holds all your tender secrets. It is your greatest guide. We just have to learn how to access it."

💬 "There is a way out. It is not a life sentence. On the other side is a really wonderful way of being in the world, being in your body."

If you have ever felt at war with your body, cut off from your emotions, or like there is something stuck that words and thinking cannot reach, this episode is for you. The body has been holding it all, waiting for you to come back to it. And it is never too late to start.

Much love. 💛

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This one is a big one, my love. Stay with me.

I start this episode by answering a question from the wonderful Heather, who asks what to do when thinness feels like the only thing that makes her feel powerful, and why she still isn't surrendering yet. It's such an honest, courageous question, and I wanted to give it the real answer it deserves before diving into today's main topic: the control paradox.

Because here's the thing your eating disorder brain is not going to want to hear. The goal of recovery is not to be in control around food. The goal is to let go of control entirely. Control and freedom are not the same thing. They are opposites. And you cannot control your way to the freedom you are desperately seeking.

This episode is for you if:

• You feel like control is the only thing keeping you safe
• You know the eating disorder is making you miserable but cannot imagine letting go
• You believe that if you let go, you will never stop eating or will gain weight forever
• You have tried to find a middle ground, a way to control just a little bit less
• You feel powerful when you're thin and terrified of what you'll lose if you recover
• You are stuck in quasi recovery and deep down you know it
• You want to understand what true food freedom actually looks and feels like from the inside

In this episode, we cover:

✨ Heather's question: what to do when thinness feels like your only source of power, and why the answer is always the deeper work

✨ The difference between real power and external validation dressed up as power

✨ Why you developed the eating disorder in the first place, and why it was never your fault

✨ The crucial difference between control and choice, and why you cannot have genuine choice while you are still controlling

✨ Why every form of disordered eating is an attempt at control, and why no amount of it will ever be enough

✨ What actually happens in your nervous system when you are controlling food versus when you let go

✨ Foods on a pedestal: why forbidden foods have power over you, and how unconditional permission removes that power

✨ The four phases of letting go: the fear and extreme hunger, habituation, body trust, and freedom

✨ Why your body has a natural set point and what happens when you finally get out of its way

✨ Soul self versus suppressed self: which one is running the show around food right now

✨ Practical steps to start letting go of control, even when it feels absolutely terrifying

✨ What life genuinely looks like when you are living in food freedom

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "The control that felt empowering became exhausting. The rules that felt safe became suffocating. You were trying to control your way to freedom, but control and freedom are literally opposites."

💬 "You cannot control your way backwards. You can only heal your way forwards."

💬 "When you are controlling, the question is: am I allowed to have this? When you are free, the question is: do I want this? One comes from fear. The other comes from trust."

💬 "The opposite of control is not out of control. The opposite of control is freedom."

💬 "You have spent long enough trying to control your way to freedom. It is time to take the actual path. Surrender. Trust. Let go."

Freedom is waiting for you on the other side of control. Much love. 💛

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

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💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial

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This conversation is one I've been wanting to have for a long time.

I invited Robyn Kievit onto the podcast because she is doing something genuinely rare. She is the first dietician to become a nurse practitioner, she specialises in eating disorders, disordered eating and body image, and over the past several years she has become deeply educated in hormone therapy and perimenopause. She is one of very few clinicians in the world looking at all of this together, as one whole picture. And that matters enormously for the women I work with.

We talk about what perimenopause actually feels like, why the hormonal shifts of this life phase can cause eating disorder symptoms to surge, what hormone therapy is and who it might help, and why so many women are being dismissed by their doctors when they deserve so much better. We also talk about body image, aging, grief, and what it means to enter this next season of life with compassion rather than resistance.

This episode is for you if:

• You're in perimenopause or approaching it and want to understand what's actually happening in your body
• Your anxiety, depression or eating disorder symptoms have surged and you don't know why
• You've been dismissed by a doctor and told it's too early to seek support
• You have a history of an eating disorder and want to understand how that intersects with hormonal changes
• You're struggling with body image as your body changes with age
• You want to know your options, natural, hormonal, and otherwise, for supporting yourself through this transition
• You believe, like I do, that you don't have to just white-knuckle your way through this

In this episode, we cover:

✨ The signs of perimenopause that often get missed or dismissed, and why they matter

✨ How hormonal changes affect mood, sleep, cognition and anxiety in ways that are genuinely physiological, not just in your head

✨ Why anxiety and depression can surge during perimenopause, especially if you have a history of either

✨ The HPA and HPO axes explained in plain English, and why they're so central to how you feel during this transition

✨ What hormone therapy actually is, who it can help, and what the current guidance really says

✨ Why birth control pills and IUDs are considered hormone therapy, and what that means for you

✨ The enormous gap in clinical education around eating disorders and menopause, and why Robyn created her course to address it

✨ How to advocate for yourself if you're being dismissed by a doctor

✨ Why bone health and cardiovascular health make hormonal support even more important for women with eating disorder histories

✨ The body image and grief piece of aging, and why our bodies changing is not something to be corrected

✨ What it means to enter the archetype of the crone, the wise woman, with self-compassion rather than fear

✨ Why you are allowed to ask not to be weighed at a medical appointment

✨ Robyn's course for clinicians and why it exists

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "I just wasn't feeling like myself. That is the number one thing women say when perimenopause begins, and it deserves to be taken seriously, not dismissed."

💬 "We are at the mercy of our hormones in some ways, and that is not a weakness. It's physiology. The question is what tools do we have to support ourselves through it."

💬 "Growing old is a gift. Every line on your face is a line of a life lived, smiled in, cried in. A body well lived in."

💬 "Our bodies change purposefully. The goal isn't to fight that. It's to find solutions that help us feel well within it."

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

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💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial

💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

This episode is for you if:

• You're doing all the recovery things but still feel flat, joyless or like you're just surviving
• You feel guilty resting, playing or doing anything that isn't productive
• You've never really thought about pleasure beyond food — or you're scared of it
• Your inner critic tells you pleasure is indulgent, earned or something you don't deserve
• You're a high achiever who has tied your worth to productivity for as long as you can remember
• You feel disconnected from your body and can't imagine actually enjoying being in it
• You want to understand why recovery without pleasure keeps you stuck in quasi-recovery

In this episode, we cover:

✨ Why pleasure is not a luxury in eating disorder recovery — it's the recovery

✨ The nervous system piece: why your body literally cannot heal without experiencing pleasure

✨ How trauma damages your relationship with pleasure — and teaches you that enjoying yourself isn't safe

✨ The soul self versus the suppressed self and how they each relate to pleasure completely differently

✨ Why reclaiming food pleasure is essential — and what savouring food actually looks like after restriction

✨ Why food obsession comes from deprivation of pleasure, not just deprivation of food

✨ What to do when food is your only source of pleasure and why that's completely valid for a season

✨ Pleasure beyond food — sensory, creative, relational, rest and movement pleasure explained

✨ Why high achieving women struggle most with pleasure — and how the eating disorder is an achievement disorder in disguise

✨ The body image piece: why you cannot wait until you love your body before letting it feel good

✨ How to know what genuine pleasure actually feels like — especially if you've been in survival mode for years

✨ The pain and discomfort inventory: what you're tolerating that's blocking pleasure from landing

✨ Fun, playfulness and your inner children — why this is legitimate trauma healing work, not just a nice idea

✨ What actually happens in your nervous system when you play, laugh and do things just because they're fun

✨ Practical steps to start microdosing pleasure into your life right now

✨ Why a life without pleasure keeps the eating disorder relevant — and what to build instead

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "You cannot heal from trauma and from an eating disorder through discipline and willpower alone. Your nervous system actually requires pleasure in order to heal."

💬 "The eating disorder convinces you that denying yourself pleasure is virtuous — that suffering is noble and deprivation is discipline. That is a lie."

💬 "Pleasure is not something you earn. It's not a reward for recovering enough. Pleasure is the recovery."

💬 "You can't wait until you love your body before you let it feel good. You have to let pleasure in first. That's how the body image shifts — through embodied experience, not willpower."

💬 "The eating disorder is deadly serious. It doesn't play, it doesn't laugh, it doesn't do things just for fun. Playfulness is one of the most powerful ways to choose your soul self over it."

💬 "You didn't survive your eating disorder just to live a beige, pleasureless, serious existence. You survived so you could live fully — with joy, aliveness, silliness and pleasure."

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

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Georgia's back — and this time, things are even deeper.

When Georgia first came on the podcast, she was in what she thought was full recovery. And in many ways she was. But what followed taught her something nobody really talks about: recovering from an eating disorder doesn't automatically fill the void it leaves behind. In this episode, we get into what happens after recovery, why so many women find themselves slipping back into old patterns not out of relapse but out of boredom and emptiness, and what it actually looks like to build a life so full there's simply no room for the eating disorder anymore.

In this episode, we cover:

✨ Why Georgia doesn't call what happened a relapse — and the crucial distinction that matters

✨ What "complacency in recovery" actually looks like and how quickly it can creep in

✨ Why the identity of being "in recovery" can keep you stuck — and what to shift to instead

✨ The void that recovery leaves behind and why filling it is non-negotiable

✨ How boredom, not desire, can pull you back into eating disorder behaviours

✨ Why recovering from an eating disorder doesn't fix life — and why that's actually good news

✨ The honeymoon phase of recovery and what comes after it

✨ Fear of taking up space in the world as the next evolution of the fear of physical growth

✨ How diet culture and self-suppression are the same oppression — just in different forms

✨ Why your recovered mind is one of the most powerful tools you'll ever have

✨ Feeling and moving through emotions — what actually works and what doesn't

✨ Why emotions, when suppressed, will always find a way to come out

✨ Hypothalamic amenorrhea — what it is, why it matters even if you don't want children, and Georgia's personal journey with it

✨ Why you can be mentally free and still dealing with the physical long-term effects of restriction

✨ Georgia's coaching practice — who she works with and how to reach her

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "Recovery from an eating disorder doesn't fix life. Life is still a bit shit sometimes — and unless you put energy into filling it up, the eating disorder will fill the space instead."

💬 "I was so bored. All I knew was eating disorder behaviours. I didn't know what else to do — and that was the honest truth."

💬 "The fear of taking up space in the world is the same oppression as diet culture keeping women physically small. I refused to stay small in either way."

💬 "Recovery is the hardest thing I've ever done. So now I look at life and think — bring it on. I've already overcome my biggest fears."

💬 "I am no longer willing to contribute to my own oppression. That quote on my mirror changed everything."

💬 "Any feeling that wants to arise within you, you have the capacity to feel it. Otherwise it wouldn't be rising. Trust that."

Much love. 💛

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/

💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/

💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial

💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

Connect with Georgia

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/georgiagracerecovers?igsh=MWZ5NHZudmJ6Znk0dA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr-

HealingwthG podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/healingwithg/id1880094360-

HealingwithG podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00WnCL5bcbX3wX7hMQNyrC

And my coaching email address is: [email protected]

Your Questions Answered: Meal Plans, Bloating, Hunger, OCD, Movement & More

Right then, let's get into it.

I put a question box on Instagram and you all delivered. This episode is a juicy Q&A where I'm answering some of the most common — and some of the most vulnerable — questions that came in. From meal plans and bloating to OCD with binge eating, compulsive exercise trauma, self-care as avoidance, and ARFID being misdiagnosed in hospitals. We cover a lot of ground and I am not holding back.

This episode is for you if:

• You're unsure whether to stick with your meal plan or eat intuitively
• You're bloated, uncomfortable, and wondering when it will ever end
• Your hunger signals have disappeared and you don't know how to eat without them
• You have OCD rituals around food and wonder if full recovery is even possible for you
• The thought of exercise sends you into panic and freeze mode
• You're doing all the self-care things but still feel like you're avoiding something
• You or someone you love has ARFID and is being treated like they have anorexia

In this episode, we cover:

✨ Meal plans versus intuitive eating — the real questions you need to ask yourself first

✨ How long bloating actually lasts in recovery and why it's a sign your body is healing

✨ Why your digestive system needs time and what's really happening inside your body

✨ How to eat when you have zero hunger — and why waiting for hunger is still restriction

✨ Mechanical eating explained — what it is, why it works, and why it's worth it

✨ OCD with binge eating disorder — yes, full recovery is absolutely possible

✨ Why your OCD latches onto food specifically and what your nervous system is really asking for

✨ Practical steps for OCD rituals around food — including tiny acts of rebellion

✨ The freeze response around movement — why it's not a problem to fix, it's a body screaming for safety

✨ Why you do not have a movement problem — you have a nervous system problem

✨ Why forcing yourself back to exercise right now would be re-traumatising

✨ What somatic healing practices actually look like when you're not ready for the gym

✨ The difference between self-care as support versus self-care as avoidance

✨ What true surrender actually looks like — and why it's uncomfortable on purpose

✨ ARFID versus anorexia — why treating them the same way is harmful and what ARFID actually needs

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "You don't convince yourself to eat. You just decide to. There is no negotiating with an eating disorder — there is only a decision."

💬 "The bloating is temporary. The eating disorder is not temporary unless you heal. It will steal your entire life if you let it."

💬 "Your hunger signals have been suppressed for so long your body stopped sending them. You cannot restore hunger without eating consistently first."

💬 "You don't have a movement problem. You have a nervous system problem. Your body spent years being punished — and now it's finally safe enough to feel it."

💬 "Self-care can support surrender, but it can also become a subtle way of avoiding it. The real work is learning to just be with yourself, without doing anything about it."

💬 "You are not stuck and you are not failing. Your body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do after years of trauma."

If you've been sitting with any of these questions — or recognising yourself in someone else's — this episode will give you clarity, compassion, and some very practical places to start. You've got this, my love. I really mean that.

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

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💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

Parts Work, Inner Children & The Self: A Conversation with Mike

This one is a little different — and I think you're going to love it.

I invited my friend Mike onto the podcast because we've been having the most beautiful, deep conversations over voice messages for years now. It started when he reached out to me to help his friend Finja recover from anorexia, and somehow, three years later, we're still talking — about spirituality, parts work, fear, grief, and what it really means to heal. So we decided to have one of our conversations in real time, and this is it.

This episode is for you if:

• You've ever wondered who the "you" is when you talk about loving yourself
• You feel like you're at war with different parts of yourself and can't figure out why
• You keep doing things you don't want to do and can't seem to stop
• You've done the therapy, read the books, had the insights — and still feel stuck
• You want to understand what parts work and Internal Family Systems (IFS) actually look like in practice
• You're curious about the difference between fear and discomfort — and whether they're even different at all
• You're on a healing journey and want to go deeper than behaviour change

In this episode, we cover:

✨ Mike's Word of the Year — why he chose "discomfort" and what it actually taught him

✨ The difference between your panic zone and your stretch zone — and how to know which one you're in

✨ Why checking in with your parts before, during and after facing fear changes everything

✨ What Internal Family Systems (IFS) actually is — explained in the most beautiful, accessible way

✨ The "self" versus your parts — and why the self is not a part at all

✨ The eight C's of self-energy: clarity, compassion, curiosity, courage and more

✨ Why all parts — even the ones that scare you — are rooted in love

✨ The difference between exiles and protectors, and how protectors keep you from your pain

✨ Why your protectors think you're still the age you were when the wound happened

✨ What happens to a part once it's healed — and where it goes

✨ The reframe that stopped me in my tracks: it's not self-love, it's part love

✨ My story of sitting at a traffic light, looking in the mirror, and saying "I see you"

✨ Why connection — not fixing — is what parts actually need

✨ The fear of loss at the root of every fear (try this experiment for yourself this week)

✨ Why grief might be the hardest emotion to sit with — and why it's also the most necessary

✨ The paradox of loss: you've lost something AND you've always had everything you need

✨ Why healing is seeing through illusions — and what that actually means in practice

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "Discomfort and fear are the same thing. There's always a part that's afraid, and that fear is always connected to somewhere it once wasn't safe."

💬 "The self is love. That's literally what it is. So you can't love yourself — you can only love your parts. That's the real work."

💬 "I looked in the mirror at a red traffic light, looked into my own eyes, and just said: I see you. That was all she had ever needed."

💬 "Every single part of you — even the most destructive one — loves you so much it's trying to protect you from pain. There are no bad parts."

💬 "Healing is seeing through the illusions and coming to the ultimate truth that you are nothing and everything, all at the same time."

💬 "When a part finally feels seen and understood, that is the healing. Not fixing. Not reasoning. Just truly being with it."

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/

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💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial

💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

Are Eating Disorders Physiological or Psychological? The Answer Changes Everything

This is a solo episode that shifts how you understand your eating disorder entirely.

I'm diving deep into Tabitha Farrar's work on the migration response and exploring the question that everyone asks: is it biological or is it psychological? The honest answer is it's both. And understanding why changes how you recover.

This episode is for you if:

• You've wondered if your eating disorder is "real" because you don't have anorexia

• You thought restriction should be easier and it wasn't (or it was, and then suddenly it wasn't)

• You've struggled with the binge eating that came after restriction

• You're stuck in restriction but your body won't cooperate anymore

• You've done all the therapy and still can't stop the behaviours

• You want to know why willpower doesn't work and what actually does

• You're trying to understand if you just need to eat more or if you need psychological work too

In this episode, we cover:

✨ The migration response — why some people's bodies make restriction feel easy

✨ The hibernation response — a different genetic physiological response to restriction

✨ Why your metabolism might speed up or slow down when you restrict (it's genetic)

✨ How the same person can find restriction easy, then nearly impossible (my personal story)

✨ Why some people achieve extreme weight loss easily and others don't, even with severe restriction

✨ The vicious feedback loop between biology and psychology in eating disorders

✨ What eating disorders are really about beneath the desire to be thin

✨ Why you restrict: acceptance, safety, validation, control, identity (it's always deeper)

✨ Why therapy alone won't fix an eating disorder (and why weight restriction alone won't either)

✨ Weight restoration isn't recovery — it's just the beginning

✨ How your nervous system learns to treat weight gain as danger

✨ Why you can't think your way out of what your body is experiencing

✨ The neuro pathways that need to be rewired

✨ Meeting the actual psychological needs your eating disorder was serving

✨ Why somatic work (body work) is absolutely essential for recovery

✨ The whole-picture approach: biology + psychology + nervous system + history

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "Restriction wasn't hard, it felt right. It was nothing to do with willpower. It was genetics."

💬 "You can have all the insights in the world about why you developed your eating disorder and still be stuck in the behaviours."

💬 "Your nervous system has learned that weight gain equates to danger. Your brain has built neuro pathways that treat food as a threat."

💬 "Eating disorders are both physiological and psychological. They're usually not one or the other."

💬 "You deserve recovery that honours the full truth of your experience, not the simplified version that fits into a diagnosis box."

If you're confused about why eating more isn't enough, why willpower fails, why you can't just think your way out — this episode will make sense of all of it. Recovery works when you address the whole picture.

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/

💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/

💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial

💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

From Adoption Trauma to Root Healing - Sanne's Extraordinary Journey

This episode is absolutely raw and it's one you need to listen to if you're exploring what's really underneath your pain.

I sit down with Sanne, a physiotherapist turned Root Coaching founder, who was adopted from Sri Lanka as a baby and spent decades not knowing her story. Her journey took her from numbing with drugs and unsafe relationships, to meeting her biological mother, to using plant medicine (ayahuasca) to access the deepest layers of her trauma, to now helping others heal their inner child and access their roots.

This is not a light conversation. It's deep, it's real, and it's about understanding that everything that happened before you were even born is living in your nervous system.

This episode is for you if:

• You've experienced adoption trauma or identity confusion

• You're using substances or behaviours to numb overwhelming feelings

• You want to understand what plant medicine actually does for healing

• You believe trauma needs to be FELT to be healed (not bypassed)

• You're interested in inner child work that goes beyond talking therapy

• You're ready to go to the root instead of managing symptoms

• You want to know what authentic healing actually looks like

In this episode, we cover:

✨ What it means to be adopted and the nervous system imprint that creates

✨ How Sanne numbed decades of pain with drugs and escaping

✨ The moment she decided to search for her biological mother in Sri Lanka

✨ What ayahuasca is and why she felt called to use it for healing

✨ The difference between plant medicine in ceremony vs. random use

✨ How the ego protects us from truth and why plant medicine bypasses that

✨ The apology exercise that broke her open (writing apologies from people in her life)

✨ Why having someone physically present while you feel is the healing

✨ Trauma is created in relationship, so it can only be healed in relationship

✨ The difference between feeling it to heal it vs. rapid resolution (bypassing pain)

✨ Inner child work and why it needs to be a whole-body experience

✨ Authentic movement (not dance) as a way to release emotion through the body

✨ What happens when you combine inner child work + plant medicine

✨ How she now helps clients through Root Coaching

✨ The power of five minutes of silence when your nervous system is restless

✨ You can't force healing. You create space and it unfolds

✨ The lady who didn't cry for 10 years and what shifted it

✨ Why you need a safe person to heal. You can't do this alone

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "The start is there. It really is everything. It starts from the very beginning."

💬 "You have to feel it to heal it. You can't just bypass all that pain."

💬 "Trauma is created via relationship, so it can only be healed in relationship."

💬 "The ego is lying continuously and very sharp lying to you. So you believe it most of the time."

💬 "I'm so proud of her. Even though it's so painful, she's going through everything. Badass."

If you're stuck in numbing patterns, if you think you need to understand everything intellectually before you can heal, if you're afraid of feeling your pain — this episode will change how you see what's actually possible.

This is about going to the root. Not managing symptoms. Actually healing.

Connect with Saane: https://sannevanrossen.nl/

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/

💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/

💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial

💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

You Recovered From Your Eating Disorder, So Why Are You Still Anxious?

This is a solo episode that hits different.

I'm addressing something I'm hearing from clients constantly: "I've stopped restricting. I'm eating freely. I haven't binged or purged in months. I'm doing all the work, Victoria, but I'm still having panic attacks. I'm still depressed. Sometimes I'm more anxious now than when I had the eating disorder. Have I done something wrong?"

The answer is no. You've actually uncovered what was there all along.

This episode is for you if:

• You're recovered (or nearly recovered) but still struggling with anxiety, depression, panic, or shutdown

• You feel like recovery was supposed to fix everything, but you're still a mess

• You're wondering if you failed at recovery or if something's wrong with you

• The eating disorder was actually numbing what's underneath

• You're grieving the loss of your coping mechanism

• You want to know what the fuck to do about it

In this episode, we cover:

✨ Why recovery can actually make anxiety and depression feel worse

✨ The eating disorder as a coping mechanism — what it was really managing

✨ The window of tolerance and nervous system dysregulation explained

✨ Why your nervous system is swinging between panic and shutdown

✨ Hyper arousal vs hypo arousal — and which bank you're hitting

✨ How trauma and childhood overwhelm shaped your window of tolerance

✨ Why the eating disorder communicated what you couldn't say

✨ You are NOT a victim to your nervous system — you can manage it

✨ Up-regulation tools for when you're flat, numb, and depressed

✨ Down-regulation tools for when you're panicking, anxious, and overwhelmed

✨ The STOP skill from DBT — interrupt the automatic response

✨ Natural reframes to stop the shame spiral

✨ How to widen your window of tolerance intentionally and slowly

✨ It's not about avoiding the banks — it's about your relationship to them

✨ Practicing at your edge consistently until it expands

✨ Using fear foods as nervous system expansion work

✨ Why this is the real recovery work nobody talks about

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 "You didn't do anything wrong. You've just uncovered what was there all along."

💬 "Your eating disorder was never the problem. It was your solution to a problem. Now the solution is gone."

💬 "Recovery makes this worse because now you're feeling the full force of your nervous system dysregulation without the coping mechanism."

💬 "You are not a victim to your nervous system. You can actually manage it."

💬 "It's not about making the river wider so you never touch the banks. It's about your relationship to the banks when you do hit them."

If you're recovered but still struggling, if you're wondering what's wrong with you, if you're grieving the loss of your eating disorder because at least it managed something — this episode will reframe everything.

You're not broken. You're not failing at recovery. You're just finally feeling what was always there, and now you get to learn how to actually manage it.

The song I recommended:

QUIET (Acoustic) Hillside Recording & Diana Trout

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/

💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/

💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial

💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

This episode is raw, honest, and deeply hopeful.

I sit down with Brooke, one of my coaching clients, who recovered from a severe eating disorder that began in her teens — fuelled by praise for being “small,” TikTok diet culture, gym culture, religious conditioning, and a deep fear of weight gain.

Brooke shares her journey from hospitalisation and years of being “technically recovered but mentally trapped,” to full food freedom, weight restoration, and a life no longer ruled by her eating disorder.

This conversation is especially powerful if you:

• Are afraid you’ll never recover mentally

• Fear weight gain won’t stop

• Have food allergies that complicate recovery

• Struggle with body image, curves, or modesty conditioning

• Feel “different” or like recovery won’t work for you

In this episode, we cover:

✨ How praise for being “small” planted the seeds of Brooke’s eating disorder

✨ TikTok, calorie counting, gym culture & “healthy” restriction

✨ Why traditional treatment kept her stuck

✨ The turning point that made her choose recovery for herself

✨ Doing recovery “for the we” when doing it for yourself feels impossible

✨ Navigating recovery with food allergies (without using them as an ED excuse)

✨ Full surrender to mental hunger — and why it’s non-negotiable

✨ Gaining multiple clothing sizes and surviving the body image grief

✨ Religious shame, modesty, curves & reclaiming bodily autonomy

✨ Why weight gain did stop — and how set point brought mental peace

✨ The messy middle of recovery no one talks about

✨ Life after recovery: travel, work, relationships & real freedom

Powerful quotes from the episode:

💬 “I thought I’d be the biggest person who ever recovered. I wasn’t.”

💬 “The long-term hard is living with an eating disorder forever.”

💬 “Full allowance is what traditional recovery misses.”

💬 “You can recover physically and mentally — I’m proof.”

💬 “The eating disorder thrives in shame. I’m taking my power back.”

If you’re scared, exhausted, or stuck in the middle — this episode will remind you what’s possible.

💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/

💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/

💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/

💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial

💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/