We’ve been trained to treat Christmas like a performance: spend more, buy more, post more, prove more. But the truth is simpler—and harder to defend: Christmas is about family.

In this episode, I’m pulling the focus back to what lasts. The moments your children remember aren’t the receipts—they’re the feeling of the home. The laughter in the kitchen. The safety of being together. The un-rushed hours where nobody’s “doing” anything, but everyone’s okay.

I talk about how easy it is to slip into survival mode at the worst possible time, trying to fund a “perfect Christmas,” carrying the whole season on your back, and turning love into pressure. And I lay out a different standard: protect the atmosphere. Protect the time. Protect the relationships.

There’s also a personal reflection on childhood Christmas memories and what they teach us: the gift might be exciting, but it’s the people, the warmth, and the stories that become the real inheritance.

If you’re a parent feeling the weight of this season, this is your reminder: your kids don’t need a perfect Christmas. They need you. They need peace. They need family. 

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You were told to chase green flags.

You were never taught how some of them hide the biggest red flags of your life.

In this episode, Marvyn Harrison pulls five “perfect” green flags apart and shows the shadow side underneath: limerence, trauma bonds, emotional shutdown, manipulation and cruelty dressed up as “being real”. 

Across romantic relationships, friendships, family and work, Marvyn unpacks:

Intense Chemistry From Day One

• The “we could marry right now” energy that feels like destiny.
• Why you feel deeply connected on almost no information.
• Limerence: the repeat pattern of getting obsessed, acting like it’s real and only understanding it years later.
• How trauma bonds, nervous system chaos and mirroring can feel like soulmate energy while your body is actually in crisis.
• Why neurodivergent people often feel this intensity and believe it’s “how love is supposed to feel.” 

People Who Respectfully Hate Everybody But You

• “They’re just honest, they see through everyone” – the seductive packaging.
• The contempt, gossip and dehumanising that’s actually rehearsing how they’ll later talk about you.
• The difference between feedback, sharing and constant judgement.
• Why “it’s us against the world” often means “you’re next when the honeymoon ends.”

Extreme Independence And Having ‘No Needs’

• “I’m low maintenance, I’m drama free” as a brand.
• Emotional shutdown disguised as maturity.
• The triple problem: they can’t ask, can’t receive and can’t repair.
• How fear of abandonment sits behind “I don’t need anything from anyone.”
• You end up doing all the emotional labour, while they quietly protect a chaotic inner world they don’t want you to see. 

Total Overlap In Values, Opinions And Tastes

• “We’re literally the same person, we never argue” – why that feels like winning.
• People-pleasing and mirroring as manipulation: pre-written caring responses, no behavioural change.
• Why genuine adults have differences, and why tolerating disagreement is actually intimacy.
• The truth about “peaceful” relationships that never argue: someone gave up bringing their full self.

Brutal Honesty With Zero Empathy

• “I just tell it like it is, I keep it 100” as a personality costume.
• Cruelty cosplaying as truth.
• Why timing is a core part of empathy: the film-premiere example where “honesty” is actually violence. 
• How real friends hold their feedback, let the moment pass, then come back with thought, care and context.
• Why brutal honesty is often laziness and emotional illiteracy, not integrity.

Marvyn closes by turning the lens back on you:

• Why you keep choosing intense chemistry, “low maintenance” partners or brutally honest friends.
• Why you might secretly want spontaneity, chaos and “life of the party” energy, then demand they calm down once you’ve got them.
• How to notice the patterns you recreate, instead of taking internet advice “cold” and blowing up relationships that could be repaired with awareness and conversation. 

This is not a call to go home and dump everyone.

It’s a call to see what’s really happening underneath your favourite “green flags” and work out whether you’re genuinely safe, genuinely seen – or just addicted to the chaos you were never taught to name.

Content Warnings

This episode includes discussion of:

• Trauma bonds and nervous system dysregulation
• Emotional shutdown and abandonment fears
• Manipulation, people-pleasing and cruelty in relationships

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did he do it?

In this raw, unplanned monologue, Marvyn Harrison picks up the mic with no notes and processes the new Netflix documentary on Sean “Diddy” Combs in real time. Across almost four decades of alleged abuse, violence, exploitation and terror, he tracks how one man was turned into the “blueprint” for Black male success while victims, communities and even whole events were left in pieces. 

Project 1 (5)

Drawing on the documentary executive produced by 50 Cent, Marvyn walks through the timeline of allegations and patterns described on screen:

• A deadly basketball event allegedly over-promoted and under-protected
• Early accusations of drugging, rape and recording assaults
• Financial games with labels, advances and putting companies in other people’s names
• Violence and intimidation of business partners
• Artists like Craig Mack allegedly left broke while their music topped charts
• The jealous orbit around Biggie and Tupac and claims of set-ups, beef and murder-for-hire energy
• Long-running allegations of abuse towards women, including Cassie, and a wider pattern of trafficking-style behaviour
• Robbing artists of publishing and blocking them from their own work

But this episode isn’t gossip. It’s a post-mortem on the culture that let it all slide.

Marvyn goes deeper into:

• How older gatekeepers, executives and media kept co-signing him as a hero
• How young Black men were told to worship men who were dead, in jail or alleged abusers
• How his own leadership style as a young promoter was briefly shaped by “Making The Band”-style bullying before he rejected it
• The cost of building success on coercion, fear and manipulation instead of strategy, wisdom and genuine leadership
• Why he wants no part of a fame, wealth and masculinity model that comes bundled with this level of alleged harm

This is not a polished think piece. It’s a man in his 40s, a father, broadcaster and community builder, processing the grief of realising the “idols” sold to Black boys were either monsters or protected by monsters.

If you’ve ever looked up to industry titans only to later find out about the allegations around them, this episode will feel uncomfortably familiar – and necessary.

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Black men are dying of cancer in silence. So we took a room full of dads, sons and survivors and built the most honest conversation they’ve ever had.

This episode was recorded at Macmillan’s Open House, a home built to feel like the houses that raised us: soft light, old portraits, kettle on the stove, carpet holding the memories of every step. Into that house we brought a live conversation on men, fatherhood and grief.

Marvyn Harrison is joined by:

– Ibrahim Kamara, whose dad died of cancer on his birthday while he was locked alone in a Covid hotel

– Paul Campbell, who was denied treatment, diagnosed in the same year as his brother and sister, and watched his father die from prostate cancer

– Host and facilitator Ruben Christian, unpacking identity, masculinity and the cost of being “the strong one”

Inside this episode:

– The Black dad who had to fight his GP just to get tested

– Why three siblings were all diagnosed with cancer in the same year

– How a father hid his diagnosis from ten children and made one son carry the secret alone

– Men explaining what grief actually feels like inside the body

– The quiet ways race, culture and masculinity shape how we ignore symptoms

– What good men actually need from their partners, friends and community

– Why checkups aren’t a verdict, they’re a lifeline and a second chance

The episode closes with “White Smiles”, an original song written about a dream of a father who finally returns smiling, with new teeth and no pain. Listen grounded, eyes closed if you can.

If you love a Black man, live with one, are raising one or are one, this is the episode you send.

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What happens when your father’s shadow is your biggest opponent? Marvyn Harrison breaks down Benn vs Eubank II — the fight that wasn’t just about punches, but parenting, legacy, and identity. From Nigel Benn and Chris Eubank Sr.’s 90s rivalry to their sons’ clash under the lights, this is a story about how fathers shape sons — and how sons fight to become men in their own right. Featuring deep analysis, emotional reflection, and a generational lens only Dope Black Dads could deliver.

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#DopeBlackDads #BennVsEubank #BoxingLegacy #Fatherhood #Masculinity #BritishBoxing #MarvynHarrison #EubankJr #ConorBenn #LegacyFight

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In this episode of the Dope Black Dads podcast, Marvyn breaks down what it really takes to support a good man in 2025, without shrinking yourself or cosplaying a “good little wife.” 

He covers: 

• The truth about “something happening with men” — and why it’s about to go one of two ways

• The viral Chanté Joseph article about women feeling ashamed to say “I have a boyfriend,” and what that reveals about how men are valued

• Why humiliation content (fake throw-up pranks, mocking your man online) destroys respect and never builds the man you actually want

• Misogyny vs misandry: why they’re not mirror images and why that distinction matters here

• How you speak to your man: nagging vs affirmation, and why rants don’t land but clear, short statements do

• The “tennis vs American football” mistake when men share feelings, and how to catch the emotional ball instead of smashing it back

• What to do when he goes silent or withdrawn and you suspect more than “he’s just fine”

• How to investigate his mood without the dead-end question “You alright?”

• Respecting his pace of change instead of treating him like a broken service provider you ordered from an app

• Why not every mood change is cheating: money, parents, pressure, identity, and all the other stress signals you keep missing

• Turning the home into neutral ground so he doesn’t sit in the car dreading walking through the front door

• The “driveway rule”: negotiating how much decompression time he needs and what you need once he comes in

• Why there’s no serious “transition programme” for men moving from work-only identity into work + family, unlike the decades of systems put around women at work

• How political and economic systems still profit from overworked, emotionally absent men, and what that means for your relationship

• The truth: if your man is genuinely bad for you, you should leave; this episode is for people with a good man who’s struggling

• The tactic almost nobody uses: sitting in silence, breaking the touch barrier, and offering safety instead of demanding it from a depleted man

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Recorded in the middle of the night, Marvyn breaks down how New York elected its first Muslim, South Asian, democratic socialist mayor under Donald Trump, why California quietly rewired Congress with one ballot measure, and how Virginia and New Jersey just told the rest of America where voters actually stand. This is not a vibes recap. It’s a live autopsy on power, maps, money and hope. 

Full show note

Tonight’s Dope Black Desk is not from Westminster or City Hall. Emotionally, it’s in New York, California, Virginia and New Jersey at the same time. Marvyn walks through the election results that look “local” on paper but actually redraw the global map of power in a Trump era. 

In this episode, he breaks down: 

• New York City electing Zoran Mamdani — 34-year-old democratic socialist, first Muslim and South Asian mayor, ex–housing counsellor, in the financial capital of the world

• How Mamdani beat a disgraced former governor and a Republican talk-radio veteran, with Trump backing Cuomo instead of his own party’s candidate

• Mamdani’s four “impossible” promises: free citywide buses, universal childcare, rent freezes, and city-run grocery stores in food deserts

• Why bodegas, Yemeni owners, unions, taxi drivers, immigrants and young voters formed a single coalition and toppled an old political dynasty

• Trump’s threats to punish New York and brand Mamdani a “communist”, and why that bluff could push him into full-blown war-crime territory if he actually follows through

• The donor class, pro-Israel money, Gaza, genocide language and why this mayoral race became a referendum on who really owns American politics

• How the middle class has been swapped out for racial hierarchy and why that model is breaking down in real time

Then Marvyn zooms out: 

• California’s Prop 50: a mid-decade redistricting move designed to cancel out Texas’s GOP map and hand Democrats up to five extra House seats

• Why this is an “arms race on maps not manifestos” and how one technical vote can decide who controls Congress in 2026

• Gerrymandering, the Supreme Court, state courts, and why Democrats finally stopped pretending they were “above” playing the same power game

He finishes with the governor races: 

• Virginia: Abigail Spanberger, ex-CIA, becomes the state’s first woman governor by running on anti-chaos, cost of living and competence

• New Jersey: Mikie Sherrill, Navy helicopter pilot and former prosecutor, wins on affordability, child tax credits and abortion protection

• Why voters in ex-red states are choosing stability over Trump-style chaos, even when Republicans put forward barrier-breaking candidates

• How all of this connects back to London, food deserts, mini-mart markups, and a UK political class turning every square metre of life into a product

Underneath the US headlines, this is an episode about: 

• Who draws the map

• Who pays the price

• And whether any of this can still translate into a city or a country you can afford to raise a family in

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I opened my ChatGPT vault and read the last five things I asked it: the best loose-leaf tea on earth, a high-leverage sales plan, a global parenting pivot, the truth behind “quotas” in ads, and the Antwone Fisher poem that hits like a freight train. Momentum storytelling. Zero fluff. High signal. 

Project 1

Show notes (long, with skim-fast formatting)

• Why your teabag tastes mid, and the five loose-leaf brands worth real money

• Designing a killer partnerships engine in public

• Upgrading Dope Black Dads into a global parenting community without changing the name

• Are “quotas” in advertising real or a culture-war decoy? Data and context

• “Who Will Cry for the Little Boy?” and the cost of growing up without a blueprint

• What it takes for Black men to make it to 60 with purpose and health

Referenced from the live ramble captured in this episode. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on the Dope Black Dads podcast, we dive into a powerful and timely story. Victoria Beckham has revealed in her new Netflix documentary that her eating disorder made her “good at lying” A raw admission that sheds light on a condition too often hidden in silence.

Beyond the celebrity headline, this conversation is about what it means for our families, our children, and our communities. Eating disorders are not about vanity; they’re serious medical and mental health conditions that can affect any child, regardless of background.

In this episode, we explore:

• Victoria’s experience of secrecy, shame, and resilience
• How eating disorders impact self-esteem, family life, and identity
• The signs parents and carers should look out for in children and teens
• What to do if you suspect your child is struggling
• Why open, honest conversations at home can break the cycle of silence

For Black families especially, where mental health challenges often go undiscussed, this is an opportunity to create safe spaces for truth and healing. Our children deserve to feel loved, respected, and supported in every part of who they are.

If this episode raises concerns for you, please seek support: in the UK, Beat Eating Disorders offers free, confidential advice at beateatingdisorders.org.uk. And remember no parent is alone in this journey.

Join us as we use Victoria Beckham’s story as a springboard to talk about how we can show up better for our children, our communities, and ourselves.

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For decades, families of the 97 Hillsborough victims were denied honesty and justice. Public officials lied, delayed, and covered up. Now, the long-awaited Hillsborough Law, formally the Public Office Accountability Bill, introduces a legal duty of candour, forcing officials to tell the truth during major disaster investigations, with criminal penalties if they don’t.

In this episode, Marvyn Harrison breaks down why this law matters far beyond football. From Grenfell survivors to Post Office workers, from Black families in police custody cases to maternity wards, cover-ups cost lives, trust, and justice.

This is about:

• Truth as protection for families.
• Ending decades of lies and silence.
• Rebuilding trust in institutions.
• Justice for communities failed by the state.
• Setting a global example of truth as law.

Truth, justice, and accountability aren’t optional. They’re non-negotiable.

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Back in the 1930s, love was about survival—one person brought money, the other ran the home. By the 1990s, polarity and attraction became the focus. But in 2025? That’s not enough. Today, real connection needs three things: survival, desire, and alignment.

In this episode, Marvyn Harrison explores how blurred gender roles, economic independence, and new expectations around emotional intelligence have reshaped what it takes to build lasting relationships. He asks the tough questions:

• Can you survive together?
• Do you still desire each other?
• Are you truly aligned in values, money, health, parenting, and vision?

If you’ve managed all three, you’re not just lucky—you’re rare. Listen in to rethink love, dating, and marriage in a modern world where commitment is harder, but also deeper.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.