Mr. Darcy has been on my mind this week. Not because he’s the fantasy of so many women, but because I finally read Pride and Prejudice, and discovered something shocking (to me) about him. 

I’d always thought of Mr. Darcy as this tall, brooding, misunderstood character. The fabulously wealthy, handsome man who everyone thinks is a jerk, but secretly has a heart of gold and wants to take care of you. This is why women have been obsessed with him for hundreds of years. The strong, silent, mysterious hero. 

But that’s not who he starts out as in the book. 

Reading Pride and Prejudice reveals so much more about him, and about what it takes to change and grow. 

In this episode, I’ll share what Mr. Darcy’s transformation can teach us about:

1. how honest conversations can lead to personal transformation – for you and the person you’re speaking with.
2. why hard conversations are worth having, even when they feel risky or uncomfortable.
3. what Stoic principles and practical communication tools can help us handle conflict gracefully.

By the way – hello! I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, an American writer, communication coach, and practicing Stoic based in England.

sarahmikutel.com

Nonviolent communication tips

Last week, I gave one of the lightning talks at Stoicon 2024. The topic: How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism.

Want to see the video? Head to my Substack 👉 Citizens of the World

Thanks for listening ❤️

sarahmikutel.com

Why do we get angry? How can we challenge our immediate reactions? And what's the best way to articulate our feelings without passive aggression or a blow-up? 

In this episode, you'll learn four Stoic tips to turn potential conflicts into opportunities for personal growth and stronger relationships.

Our intentions don’t always line up with our outcomes, and misunderstandings lead to anger, sadness, frustration, and conflict. In this episode, I’ll talk about intent vs impact, which is more important, and how to effectively and ethically communicate your intentions. Of course, I’ll be weaving in the timeless wisdom of the Stoics.

Hi, I’m Sarah Mikutel, your communication and mindset coach, an Enneagram 9 expat in England, and practicing Stoic.  Introverts come to me to learn to speak confidently in front of a room, online, and in social situations without becoming a sweaty, blushing mess with a stress headache.

Introvert Emergency Kit
 
Click here if you're ready to become a less anxious, more charismatic public speaker.

When it comes to public speaking, what exactly are you afraid of? 

Most people I talk to don’t explore their fears at all – and this makes them worse. 

The thought of public speaking brings up such uncomfortable feelings that they try to ignore them or stuff them down – which is why they continue to suffer from speaking anxiety, one of the most common fears in the world. 

How is an amorphous ‘fear of fear’ holding you back and keeping you quiet?  

I’m Sarah Mikutel, your communication and mindset coach. By the end of this episode, you will know:

• what you’re really afraid of when you say you don’t like public speaking – no more amorphous clouds of discomfort,
• how anxiety manifests in our mind and body and why not managing it is so harmful,
• the beliefs underlying the four different flavors of public speaking anxiety, and 
• Stoic practices you can do to let go of anxiety so you can more eloquently express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

So no more holding in what you want to say and then internally screaming when someone else voices what you’d been thinking. It’s time to start feeling more calm and confident when you speak. 

Let’s dive in. 

sarahmikutel.com

We often hear how negative self-comparisons can be, especially when it comes to social media. But what if we could use comparison as a force for good? A tool to help us grow and flourish at work and in our personal lives?  Great news, we can!

Today you’ll learn how to stop negatively comparing yourself to others and start measuring your progress in healthier and more productive ways. Plus, you’ll learn the scientific theory about why you’re actually more likable the less perfect you are.

Hi, I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel. Ready to take this work deeper and radically transform your life? Let's talk. Book your call here. 

sarahmikutel.com 

To be an effective communicator, you need to learn how other people think and what motivates them. In this episode, you'll learn how to use the Enneagram typology to do just that.

Discover the nine core personality types and uncover the layers of motivations and desires that drive our actions and reactions.

You'll walk away with a better understanding of yourself and how to engage with the different personalities in your life.

Ready to transform your life? Let's chat.

sarahmikutel.com

Do you fly into a fit of rage when people interrupt you? Maybe not externally, but quietly in your head? This episode is for you, my fellow introvert.

Learn why people interrupt and how to respond to interruptions from a place of confidence and strength.

Book a consult to discuss your communication and confidence goals.

sarahmikutel.com 

Most of our suffering comes from thoughts that we let run wild in our brains. 

We spend a lot of time each day rehashing different conversations and situations in our mind, and we think that we’re just reviewing facts. But we’re not. We’re reflecting on our own points of view, assuming what others think, worrying about the future, and ruminating about the past.

The ancient Stoics understood that our thoughts are nothing more than stories we tell ourselves. 

And modern mental health professionals agree with them that we should challenge the thoughts that pop into our heads and not automatically accept them as reality. 

You might be thinking, “That’s impossible. I have a million thoughts running through my mind. It’s not in my control. I’m anxious. I’m overwhelmed.”

In today’s episode, I’ll coach you on how to use a thought record to manage your mind so you can live a more resilient, calm, joyful, and compassionate life. 

I can’t overstate how essential this work is to your wellbeing. If you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or frustrated that the changes you’re trying to make aren’t sticking, listen to this twice.

I've also created a thought record worksheet for you.

sarahmikutel.com

When you feel like you're being taken advantage of, do you speak up, or stay quiet and grumble to yourself later?

In this episode, I share a personal story about when someone tried taking me to the cleaners -- you'll get the pun after listening -- and how I successfully navigated the situation.

Get ready to explore why we feel awkward standing up for ourselves and strategies to manage this anxiety while asserting ourselves more confidently.

From retraining our brains to identifying patterns of behavior, I'll explain ways to break out of your comfort zone and start speaking up with more confidence and less anxiety.

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Are you ready to speak in front of a room, online, and in social situations without becoming a sweaty, blushing mess with a stress headache?

Book a consult and let's discuss how we can transform your confidence and communication.

https://sarahmikutel.com/

It's nearly the anniversary of D-Day, the largest air, sea, and land operation in the history of war. On D-Day alone, Nazis killed nearly 4,500 Allied troops and injured many more. In one day. And I keep asking myself: Are we living lives that honor that sacrifice?  

We can do better.  On this episode of the podcast, I share some thoughts on how we can live lives worth dying for. How we can show up as Stoic leaders.

https://sarahmikutel.com/