Love and Abuse

Paul Colaianni

  • 53 minutes 19 seconds
    Ive stopped being abusive, let's have sex

    Some emotionally abusive people do heal. And once they do, they might feel the relationship will be great from that point on. What they don't consider is that the victim of their abusive behavior is only starting their healing process.

    4 December 2025, 6:55 pm
  • 1 hour 9 minutes
    Don't gaslight yourself into thinking you're the abuser

    The emotionally abusive relationship is confusing and draining. If you don't get a grip on what's going on, you may start to believe perhaps you are the problem and they are a saint. Let's fix that faulty thinking.

    17 November 2025, 8:48 pm
  • 33 minutes 29 seconds
    The feelings of guilt and shame after leaving the abusive person

    If you've ever questioned how to forgive yourself for choosing your own well-being over an abusive partner, you're not alone. If you're feeling guilt or shame for leaving an abusive person, this is an important episode to listen to.

    6 November 2025, 11:40 pm
  • 41 minutes 49 seconds
    Breaking the trauma bond can be hard as hell

    If you find yourself obsessively attached to someone who hurts you, is it a sign of a trauma bond? I'll tackle this challenging subject, shedding light on why you might stay in a relationship despite enduring hurtful behavior and what this could mean for your sense of self-worth and emotional well-being.

    21 October 2025, 2:22 pm
  • 45 minutes 22 seconds
    Can you heal from severe abuse while still in a severely abusive situation?

    Some people will deflect blame and make you feel like the problem. In this episode, I dive into this subject by examining a heart-wrenching story from a listener whose partner's jealousy turned violent, leaving her questioning the future of their relationship and her path to healing.

    9 October 2025, 12:01 am
  • 25 minutes 44 seconds
    Why you may not be ready to call it abuse when it is abuse

    The emotionally abusive relationship can sometimes be hard to define. How long must abusive behavior go on before actually admit that what's really happening is abuse?

    17 September 2025, 8:16 pm
  • 31 minutes 14 seconds
    Do you end the relationship because they won't?

    How do you know when it's time to instigate a split? If your partner's behavior leaves you feeling oppressed and defeated, and they refuse to change, and they also don't want to end the relationship, then what?

    3 September 2025, 11:03 pm
  • 18 minutes 19 seconds
    The breadcrumbing of relationships' past

    Breadcrumbing can be a manipulative way to keep someone in your mind so that you can't fully move forward, keeping you as a pawn in another person's game. In this episode, a person wrote to me talking about their ex, a 13-year breadcrumber!

    19 August 2025, 10:04 pm
  • 24 minutes 55 seconds
    The language patterns of the abusive person

    The way someone talks about their relationship reveals a lot. Abuse victims and perpetrators each have their own language patterns. Knowing these language patterns will help you understand on which side of the fence you're on.

    13 August 2025, 12:17 am
  • 26 minutes 36 seconds
    Can you ever go back to who you were?

    In abusive relationships it might be difficult or even impossible to discern which parts of yourself are truly you and which are shaped by the abuse. Let's talk about what it takes to start building or rebuilding your identity.

    28 July 2025, 11:28 pm
  • 18 minutes 25 seconds
    Never trust someone who wants to change who you are

    You walk into an emotionally abusive relationship as one person, but where do you go after you're in one for a while? Is the person you're with trying to change you into someone you're not?

    17 July 2025, 11:25 pm
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