In this week’s episode, we discuss what it looks like to live a slower, more intentional—and less chronically online—life by reducing the noise, embracing the ordinary offline moments of life, and reconnecting with your originality and individuality.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• How to ACTUALLY spend less time scrolling and more time living—present in your own life and less preoccupied with comparing it to someone else’s.

• How experiencing your life through the eyes of an imaginary audience can quietly turn living into performing and curating.

• How the habit of constantly consuming online can spill over into your opinions, speech, style, and everyday life—and why individuality requires a little less input.

In this week’s episode, we discuss what it means when you get along with someone but still can’t rest within the relationship or friendship—and how the internal war between what you keep noticing and what you keep trying to explain away may reveal a deeper difference in values.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• What it looks and feels like to share interests with someone, enjoy their company, and STILL experience a looming sense of unease within the relationship.

• The difference between extending understanding to someone and losing yourself—and your values—in the process of trying to understand them.

• What happens to your voice when you become passive about mismatched values in your relationships—and why following your convictions matters.

  IG: @clearernotlouder

In Part Three of The Loudest Boundaries Are Unspoken, we discuss how committing to not taking yourself lightly—that is, carrying yourself with high regard—is an unspoken boundary that speaks volumes about how others should treat you.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• The TRUE, firm foundation for carrying yourself as someone worthy of high regard—one that goes DEEPER than “self-love” and “seeing yourself as worthy.”

• How the WAY you use your voice shapes how people perceive the strength of your boundaries.

• What people register when you enter a room before you even SPEAK—and how it influences the way they treat and engage with you.

  IG: @clearernotlouder

In this episode, we explore how to express a boundary without feeling controlling, rude, or as though you’re being “too much.” In Part Two of The Loudest Boundaries Are Unspoken, we chat about managing your attention as a form of boundary—and how people can learn what you are and are not available for without you having to spell everything out-- or say much at all.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• The difference between trying to control someone else’s behavior and deciding where your own attention will and will not go.

• What to do when you want OUT of a conversation and someone continues talking ON and ON—even after you've given EVERY body cue imaginable

• How to decline participation in gossip without delivering a speech, overexplaining yourself, or making the moment more dramatic than it needs to be.

  IG: @clearernotlouder

In this episode, we explore the boundaries people can FEEL—the kind that indirectly let people know how to treat you without you having to bark instructions at them. This conversation is especially for the girl who already knows when someone has made her uncomfortable but feels squirmy and uncomfy about calling it out bluntly or directly.

• The difference between traditional "vocal" boundaries and the boundaries people pick up on without being explicitly told—the kind that make someone think, "For some reason, I better not speak like that around her. Let me adjust myself."

• The three subtle cues we all give that people pick up on when determining how carefully and thoughtfully to treat us.

• What it can look like to respond to an insult when directness doesn't come naturally to you—no more giggling to make things less awkward, by the way!

IG: @clearernotlouder

In this episode, we explore what it looks like to make friends in adulthood as an ambitious woman—from getting past the beliefs that make putting yourself out there feel harder than it needs to, to finding people who are actually OPEN to connection. We also chat why ambitious women need ambitious friends, beginning again after friendship loss, and a few things I learned from my experience at the Create & Cultivate Festival.

• The two beliefs that quietly make adult friendship HARDER than it needs to be: that putting yourself out there is a humiliation ritual (it's not!), and that everyone is on a no new friends vibe (they're not)
• Tangible ways to meet and genuinely connect with people—even if you're introverted (i've got 7 for ya!)
• How to dust yourself off and try again when a potential friendship fizzles and you feel discouraged about trying again.

IG: @clearernotlouder

In this episode we explore how to remain your warm, kind, and whimsical self while being clear and direct (you can be both!). We also discuss why being clear doesn't mean telling people what they can and cannot do and how to be clear and direct sans the fear of being rude, blunt, or "mean."

• The difference between being clear and being controlling—and why they two are NOT actually related
• How to free yourself from the responsibility of how someone processes your directness
• How to communicate what you want, what you're available for, and what you will do next while leaving other people responsible for their own choices.

IG: @clearernotlouder

***PSST, NO EPISODE NEXT WEEK SEPTEMBER 10, WE WILL BE BACK SEPTEMBER 17 IN LIGHT OF LABOR DAY***

In this episode, we chat: Why being comfortable and confident setting boundaries with other people might start with getting better at telling yourself no—and what your day-to-day choices can teach you about saying no when letting things slide, minimizing the severity of an issue, or simply going along with it feels like... the easier option.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why setting boundaries is about more than knowing what to say—and how the way you manage your impulses and emotions in everyday life can show up, positively or negatively, in the boundaries you set with others.
• What it looks like to tell yourself no when yes is still an option, and why being able to do something doesn't always mean it's in your best interest to do it.
• How to actually begin building the muscle to hold boundaries with others without the guilt, mind-spiraling, and preoccupation with how they will receive what you say.

Book recommendation mentioned: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

IG: @clearernotlouder

In this episode, we chat:

Why you should consider yourself—and the things you're drawn to—interesting and worth paying attention to, not just other people, and how uncovering the unique perspectives God has placed within you connects to the purpose over your life.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What the people you consider "interesting," "unique," and "cool" are doing differently that causes them to stand out—and why it's not what you think.
• How dropping performance and developing your own unique point of view around your interests can make you far more interesting than trying to be interesting.
• How the things you're naturally drawn to and curious about tell a story about the gifts and skills the Lord has equipped you with for the purpose & assignment over your life.

IG: @clearernotlouder

In this episode, we chat:

The FINE line between what it's like to have a connection-- a friendship, a relationship etc-- with someone who is delighted to learn the ins and outs of you and someone who... wants to relate to you on their terms

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What it looks like when you make a decision to no longer FIGHT and adjust yourself in order to be seen.
• The difference between being mindful about how you communicate to someone and changing who you are to sustain the connection-- adapting vs. self-sacrificing.
• Why someone NOT taking the time to know the ins-and-outs and quirky little facts about you does not mean you're not worth getting to know deeply-- they might just not be... for you ESPECIALLY if you're a whimsical and curious girly.

IG: @clearernotlouder

In this episode, we chat:

How to stay CLEAR AND FIRM on what you know, want, and believe when someone else's pressure or reactions challenge your boundaries, values and opinions.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why a friendly "come onnn" after you've already said no is worth paying attention to—and how easily a decision can become a negotiation you never agreed to have.
• Why someone telling you all about who they're going to be can distract you from paying attention to who they're showing you they are right now.
• How dramatic reactions and "well, what about you?" arguments can leave you questioning a choice you were perfectly clear about five minutes ago—and what that can tell you about your discernment.

IG: @clearernotlouder