The holidays are here… which means joy, cookies, twinkle lights, and—let’s be honest—a whole lot of humans who can push our buttons. In this solo episode, Anne breaks down a powerful emotional-intelligence concept she calls “freezing people.” It’s the unconscious habit of locking someone into one moment, one mistake, or one harmful comment… and then carrying that version of them forever.

Using real-life stories, a little tough love, and her signature playful honesty, Anne explores how freezing people hurts us more than them, ramps up holiday stress, and blocks us from healthier communication and relationships. She shares a simple mindset shift that helps you see others as full, evolving humans—so you can walk into family gatherings (or LinkedIn encounters!) with more EQ, less dread, and a more grounded sense of self-awareness.

Whether it’s a colleague who once shut you down, a family member who offended you five years ago, or the cousin with that one unfortunate moment—we all freeze people. But we can unfreeze them… and unfreeze ourselves in the process.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why your brain “freezes” people—and how emotional intelligence helps you thaw the story
• How freezing impacts your stress, relationships, and ability to communicate
• A perspective-shift you can use before walking into holiday gatherings
• How to see people through multiple lenses (their child, their partner, their best friend… even their dog!)
• A simple EQ practice to create more ease, compassion, and resilience this season

Perfect for you if…

…you want a calmer holiday, stronger relationships, or a little emotional-intelligence tune-up before Aunt Mildred brings up that thing again.

Take a breath. Unfreeze a story. And dance through these holidays with just a little more grace and a whole lot less dread.

In this solo episode, Anne shares the wild, twisty journey of finishing her seventh-continent marathon—complete with flight chaos, self-doubt, porta-potties, unexpected friendship, and one very persistent inner critic.

What you’ll take away from this episode:

• Why your brain freaks out when you face something hard, new, or uncertain (and why it’s not a problem).
• How “just starting”, one small action shrinks fear and builds self-efficacy.
• Why failure isn’t the enemy…and why not trying is.
• A simple, powerful mantra to use the next time your inner voice says “Nope, you can’t.”
• A nudge to start your thing before the year ends because pride comes from action, not perfection.

If you’ve been circling the starting line of something; asking for the promotion, applying for the job, taking the class, starting the conversation, or literally running the race...this episode will give you the spark to move.

Hit play. Then… just start.

What do swamp volleyball, software debugging, and self-doubt have in common?

 A lot more than you’d think. In this episode, Anne sits down with Kari Sipinen (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kari-sipinen), a Finnish-born engineer, world-champion swamp volleyball player, and all-around discomfort-zone explorer, who has turned mud, mistakes, and mindfulness into a philosophy for life.

Kari shares how wading waist-deep in the muck during the World Championship of Swamp Volleyball taught him about teamwork, humility, and the magic of taking action even when you can’t see solid ground. (Spoiler: sometimes the best life lessons happen when you’re stuck in the mud—literally.)

Drawing from his work as an embedded software engineer, Kari compares debugging to personal growth—each problem is like peeling an onion, revealing new layers of understanding beneath the surface. He unpacks his love of intuition—which he describes as being “in learning”—and how listening to your inner data can lead to surprising breakthroughs.

In This Episode

• The connection between engineering, intuition, and personal growth
• Why curiosity matters more than confidence
• Why he call it “imposter phenomenon” (not syndrome)
• How turning on your metaphorical flashlight helps you illuminate the next step toward your dreams.

Beyond engineering, Kari is a champion on and off the court, winning the Swamp Volleyball World Championship in 2019 and sharing his love of music through a 62+ hour Spotify playlist. An ordinary Savonian with a Renaissance spirit, he is committed to legacy, openness, and intellectual humility.
Please join me in welcoming to the stage — Kari Sipinen!

What happens when the therapist becomes her own best client? Meet Judy Herman (https://www.judycounselor.com/), psychotherapist, author, and retreat facilitator who turned decades of personal pain into a roadmap for emotional freedom. After surviving a 30-year marriage filled with toxicity and raising four kids, Judy didn’t just heal—she rewrote the rules for how women reclaim their power.

In this deeply honest and surprisingly uplifting conversation, Judy shares how her second husband’s psychotic break sparked her groundbreaking book Beyond Messy Relationships, and how she helps women stop walking on emotional eggshells. Her framework—AIR (Awareness, Intention, Risk)—guides women to breathe life back into themselves after years of self-abandonment.

She gets real about toxic loyalty (staying too long for all the wrong reasons), why we fall for partners who mirror our childhood wounds, and how true growth requires the courage to dance in discomfort—literally and figuratively. Judy’s work blends psychology, storytelling, and soul work, helping women move from survival mode to deep self-trust.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why we unconsciously pick partners who challenge us to heal our past
• The emotional power of “10 years of therapy in one weekend” retreats
• The trap of toxic loyalty—and how to finally break free
• How self-worth starts with awareness, not perfection
• Why her retreats in places like Ecuador transform lives

Whether you’ve been through a breakup, a burnout, or a breakthrough, this episode will remind you that transformation starts with self-awareness—and that sometimes, healing means getting a little messy first.

Here's the "Heart-centered Check-In Quiz" we talk about in the episode. https://www.judycounselor.com/communicationquiz-lp/

Judy knows how to dance right in the middle of life’s hardest conversations and situations. She is a psychotherapist, author/speaker, and retreat leader who empowers heart-centered professional women. She guides clients to rise above toxic loyalty and ditch the eggshells. She’s not afraid of dancing in the discomfort. In fact, it's all part of her A.I.R. acronym. Awareness, Intentions, and Risks of Growth. That's where our vibrantly authentic life begins.

This week, Anne (https://YourChangeSpeaker.com) takes a quick dive into one of her favorite emotional-intelligence tools for real-world connection: how to approach tough conversations without blowing up the bridge you’re trying to build.

Drawing on her keynote and workshop material, Anne revisits the cognitive triad—how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors shape our results—and adds one crucial twist: before you assume someone’s being a jerk, ask yourself, “Is that the only explanation?”

In this short but mighty episode, you’ll learn how curiosity can shift conflict into collaboration and turn awkward moments into opportunities for understanding.

You’ll hear about:

• A mindset shift that transforms conflict from toxic to productive
• Why curiosity beats animosity every time
• The magic question that changes everything.

If you’ve ever had a tough conversation go south because you didn't manage your anger, and hope to never do that again, this episode will help you pause, breathe, and get curious, not furious.

To listen to episode 319 go here!  https://ignitingyourcourage.com/blog/2025/01/20/master-your-mind-harnessing-the-cognitive-triad-for-positive-change/

Anne Bonney, CSP®, was born to talk—just ask any of her childhood teachers who wrote "talks too much" on her report cards! Now, she’s turned that chatter into a powerhouse career, jet-setting around the globe to help overwhelmed professionals build resilience in the discomfort of change. A dynamic keynote speaker, energizing conference Emcee, two-time author, and host of the hit podcast Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, Anne lights up both virtual and in-person stages with her high-energy, relatable style. After 20 years of crushing it in corporate and nonprofit leadership positions, she now uses her hard-earned experience and fiery passion to ignite YOUR courage to build resilience in change and challenges, tackle tough conversations, and lead with emotional intelligence.

When the gloves come off in divorce court, Lois Liberman (https://www.blankrome.com/people/lois-j-liberman) brings empathy, grit, and a wicked sense of humor. In this Dancing in the Discomfort Zone episode, the powerhouse attorney with 36 years in matrimonial law spills the truth about what really goes down when love unravels—and how to come out stronger.

Always striving to reduce her clients “emotional capital expenditure,” Lois helps clients stop wasting energy on battles that don’t matter and start focusing on healing, growth, and what’s next. She’s part therapist, part strategist, part truth-teller, and yes—she keeps voodoo dolls in her office for comic relief.

From high-profile cases to heartbreak over antique mirrors, Lois has seen it all. But behind every fight, she finds humanity, humor, and the possibility of a better future. Her “Look Ahead with Lois Liberman” initiative gives real-world advice on co-parenting with narcissists, rebuilding finances, and rediscovering yourself after divorce.  (find Look Ahead here!  https://www.linkedin.com/in/loisliberman/)

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why fighting over “principle” is the most expensive habit in divorce
• The emotional stages of grieving a marriage (and how to move forward)
• How to tell when control crosses into coercion
• Why she believes divorce can be a rebirth, not just an ending

If you’ve ever faced heartbreak, conflict, or reinvention, this conversation will change how you see endings—and the power that comes after them.

Want to internet stalk Lois?  Here are some links!

• https://www.blankrome.com/people/lois-j-liberman
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/loisliberman/

 As an accomplished trial lawyer, artful negotiator, and empathetic yet no-nonsense counselor, Lois Liberman represents high-net-worth individuals, prominent figures, business leaders, and celebrities who turn to her to navigate the sensitive and increasingly complex issues and dynamics facing couples and modern families. 

What happens when you give one woman a year to run around to all 50 states to share a meal with total strangers? In this Dancing in the Discomfort Zone episode, Shari Leid (https://linktr.ee/animperfectlyperfectlife) proves that connection is the ultimate adventure.

Adopted from Korea after being found in a cardboard box, Shari has flipped her story—literally. Her “Flip the Box” movement transforms isolation into belonging, inspiring people everywhere to pull up a chair, start a conversation, and rediscover what unites us.

From driving endless Dakotas to carefully choosing Dallas as her new home base (Vegas and Scottsdale didn’t make the cut), Shari’s story is part cross-country odyssey, part social experiment, and all heart. She’s redefining reinvention with a YouTube series, a national holiday, and a no-makeup women’s retreat designed to help participants “come home to themselves.”

In this episode, we talk about:

• How a cardboard box became a symbol of courage and connection
• What Shari learned dining with strangers in all 50 states
• Her hilarious and strategic process for choosing her next city
• The power of leaning into the “weird” (and why it’s your destiny)
• Why discomfort is the secret ingredient to belonging

Shari’s journey is proof that it’s never too late to start over—or to sit down with someone new and change both your stories.

If you want more from Shari, this link will get you everything you've every wanted!  https://linktr.ee/animperfectlyperfectlife

 Shari Leid is a nationally recognized speaker, author, and connection coach. She has been featured on  ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and the Today Show. Through her Flip the Box® movement, bestselling books, and podcast An Imperfectly Perfect Life – Life Unscripted, she inspires audiences to create belonging and build stronger communities.

What do you do when life hits you with every curveball imaginable—hearing loss, heartbreak, grief, and single parenthood—all before 40?

In this powerful episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, I talk with AJ Coleman, (https://keepthosefeetmoving.com) widower, single dad, financial crime fighter, and author of Keep Those Feet Moving. His story is equal parts heartbreak, humor, and hard-won wisdom about what it really takes to keep going when life feels impossible.

After losing his wife to brain cancer just a year after their daughter was born, AJ had every reason to give up. Instead, he made a choice—to keep moving forward, one step at a time. From rebuilding his faith on a mountain in Israel to finding peace through purpose, AJ’s story is a blueprint for resilience that’s as practical as it is inspiring.

He opens up about his journey through grief, anxiety, and self-discovery, and how learning to feel his emotions, not fight them, helped him heal. He’s also redefining masculinity through emotional intelligence and connection, proving that strength and vulnerability go hand in hand.

What You’ll Hear About

• How to find forward motion when life stops you in your tracks
• The healing power of action—and why grief hates momentum
• Why emotional intelligence isn’t weakness (it’s strategy)
• How men can support each other through openness, not silence
• A simple trick to reframe any challenge: the “five-minute, five-hour, five-year” rule

AJ’s story reminds us that resilience isn’t about bouncing back.  It’s about building forward. You can’t control the losses, but you can control the legacy you build from them.

What happens when a rule-following lawyer trades the courtroom for the dance floor—then builds a business teaching leaders how (and when) to break the rules?

In this episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, I sit down with Kim Bolourtchi,(www.kimbolourtchi.com) recovering perfectionist, competitive Latin dancer, and now strategic unruliness expert. Kim’s story begins with a jaw-dropping moment in front of the Missouri Supreme Court, when her husband casually revealed her secret dance life. Instead of career catastrophe, that confession became a career awakening and the start of her life’s real work: helping people challenge the rules that keep them small.

Kim’s concept of Strategic Unruliness isn’t about chaos or rebellion—it’s about courage and intention. She helps leaders and teams identify the outdated, fear-based rules that no longer serve them and replace those with curiosity, authenticity, and possibility. Through small, smart acts of “rule-bending,” Kim empowers people to find their voice, trust their intuition, and step into work (and life) that feels fully alive.

What You’ll Hear About

• The three questions that help you decide which rules are worth breaking
• How to tell the difference between fear and genuine excitement
• Why your childhood dreams might still be whispering the truth
• What happens when leaders trade control for curiosity
• How dancing and law have more in common than you’d think

Kim’s story will shake up your inner rule-follower and spark that hidden part of you that knows there’s more waiting if you’re brave enough to listen. 

Want more from Kim?

• www.kimbolourtchi.com
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-bolourtchi/
• GO GET THE BOOK!  (it's so good!)  Amazon.com: Strategic Unruliness: Break the Rules. Build What’s Next. eBook : Bolourtchi, Kim: Kindle Store

 Kim Bolourtchi was crushing it as a litigator, professor, and law school leader—while secretly a nationally ranked Latin dancer. When the Missouri Supreme Court exposed her double life, she realized true power doesn’t come from rules or boxes—it comes from unleashing your full, unruly self. Today, Kim works with global leaders, Fortune 500 teams, and bold entrepreneurs to dismantle outdated rules and unlock hidden capacity. Her upcoming book, Strategically Unruly, launches October 21st.

What if confidence isn’t something you’re born with—but something you build?

In this episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, I talk with Jenn Espinosa-Goswami, (https://www.weightlesschronicles.com/)  international speaker, certified speaking coach, and founder of Weightless Chronicles, about her journey from bullied kid to bold speaker. After growing up teased for her weight and hiding from the spotlight, Jenn discovered her voice through a study abroad program in Germany—and eventually lost 100 pounds, found her confidence, and built a career helping others find theirs.

Jenn’s message is clear: confidence isn’t about perfection, it’s about practice. She shares her four-step transformation process—creating awareness, setting clear goals, celebrating progress, and reflecting on what works—and how those same principles apply far beyond weight loss.

We dive into the difference between authenticity and oversharing, how to own your story without giving it all away, and what it really takes to step into visibility as a speaker, leader, or human being who’s done hiding.

What You’ll Hear About

• How to build confidence like a muscle—one rep at a time
• The secret difference between authenticity and being unfiltered
• Why you’re not the hero of your story (and who really is)
• How to handle judgment and stop seeking approval
• Practical steps to find your voice, own your story, and speak with impact

Jenn’s journey proves that transformation isn’t magic—it’s methodical, mindful, and absolutely possible for anyone ready to grow.

What would you do if you started losing your sight in high school—and by graduation, the world had gone completely dark?

In this episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, I sit down with Laura Bratton, (Www.laurabratton.com) speaker, author, and founder of Ubi Global, whose story proves that adversity doesn’t define you...your mindset does. Diagnosed with a rare eye disease at nine years old, Laura lost her vision completely as a teenager. But instead of getting stuck in grief, she built her life around two unshakable pillars: grit and gratitude.

Laura shares how she learned to transform obstacles into opportunities, from becoming the first blind student to earn a master’s degree in theology from Princeton to launching a global organization that helps others navigate change with courage. Her book, Harnessing Courage: Overcoming Adversity with Grit and Gratitude, dives into exactly how she did it, and in this conversation, she gives us a front-row seat to that journey.

Her approach is refreshingly real: she doesn’t sugarcoat struggle or preach toxic positivity. Instead, she shows how acknowledging hard emotions, setting long-term goals, and practicing daily gratitude can turn even the toughest transitions into growth.

What You’ll Hear About

• The real definition of grit (it’s not just pushing through)
• How daily gratitude rewires your mindset for resilience
• The difference between moving on and moving forward
• How clear communication creates connection and confidence
• Practical steps to thrive through any major life change

Laura’s story will make you rethink what’s possible—and remind you that thriving starts with how you choose to see the world.