What do hostage negotiations and workplace conflict have in common?

More than you think.

Former SWAT hostage negotiator Scott Tillema (https://scotttillema.com/) joins me to break down what it really takes to influence emotional people in high-stakes moments...whether you’re outside a barricaded building, delivering some uncomfortable performance feedback or trying to solve a problem with your spouse.  

If you’ve got tough conversations in the back of your head that you need to have, this episode is for you!

We talk about:

• Why trying to be “right” can quietly destroy your influence
• The foundation you must build before you try to persuade anyone
• How timing can make or break a difficult conversation (this is HUGE!)
• What respect actually means...and what it doesn’t
• How to separate the person from the behavior without losing your cool

Because the moment it becomes about being right… we’re in trouble.

Want more from Scott?

• https://scotttillema.com/
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/tillema/

Scott Tillema (TILL'-uh-ma) is a retired SWAT hostage negotiator from the Chicago area. Scott holds a bachelor’s degree in behavioral science, a master’s degree in psychology, and he was trained in negotiation by the FBI and at Harvard University.
He is the founder of Negotiation Excellence, LLC and as a global keynote speaker and corporate trainer.  His TEDx talk “The Secrets of Hostage Negotiators” has been viewed over one million times.   

Anne Bonney is a keynote speaker and emcee who helps organizations lead through change by building resilience, emotional intelligence, and courageous communication.

Two Super Bowl commercials. Two very different emotional reactions. And one curious conversation that opens the door to something much bigger. 

In this episode, your host Anne Bonney (https://YourChangeSpeaker.com) contrasts a feel-good moment of human connection with a symbol-heavy display of comfort and certainty and explores what our reactions to each might say about how we view belonging, agency, and discomfort. This isn’t an episode that hands you tidy answers. Instead, it offers a lens, a pause, and a few questions worth sitting with long after the ads are over. Perfect if you enjoy thinking a little deeper about why some things comfort us… and why others quietly challenge us. 

What happens when success on paper no longer feels right in real life? In this episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, Anne Bonney talks with Trevor Blondeel (www.trevorblondeel.com) about leadership, emotional intelligence, and what it really takes to connect people across the C-suite and the shop floor. From manufacturing leadership to tough conversations and values-based decisions, this episode is packed with practical insight and refreshing honesty. 

We talk about:

• Making big, scary life and career changes when your values are waving red flags
• Why telling people what to do is killing engagement and what to do instead
• Talking about feelings in manufacturing without passing out or handing out tissues

Want more from Trevor, check out www.trevorblondeel.com OR www.manufacturinggreatness.com

Trevor Blondeel connects the top to the shop—one conversation at a time. After 25 years in manufacturing, he now speaks, writes, and coaches leaders to stop telling and start talking, turning deeper conversations into real results. He’s the host of Mindfulness Manufacturing, a top 1% podcast globally, and his client list includes Nestlé, Energizer, and Nucor. If you want retention, engagement, and accountability, start by getting uncomfortable.

Anne Bonney is a keynote speaker and emcee who helps organizations lead through change by building resilience, emotional intelligence, and courageous communication.

What happens when life knocks you all the way down—and then keeps going? In this powerful episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, Anne Bonney talks with Front Row Frankie (https://frontrowfortitude.com) about addiction recovery, resilience, personal growth, and rebuilding life after rock bottom. This raw, honest conversation explores emotional intelligence, accountability, courage, and how real change happens when you’re willing to face discomfort head-on. 

We talk about

• What rock bottom really looks like—and the moment that turns survival into a decision to change
• Why resilience isn’t mindset fluff, but daily choices, accountability, and doing the uncomfortable work when no one’s watching
• How to rebuild your life (and self-trust) after addiction, loss, or failure—without pretending it’s easy or pretty

Go get your calendar now!  https://www.frontrowfortitude.com/category/all-products

Front Row Frankie is a keynote speaker and mindset coach known for his No Bad Days Mindset™. After overcoming extreme hardship and adversity, he rebuilt his life on daily positive action, spiritual growth and selfless service. He now leads professionals in high-stress industries find purpose, build resilience, and tap into their full potential. With contagious energy and real-world tools, Frankie’s mission is to help people turn struggles into strengths. One day, one choice, one mindset shift at a time.

Anne Bonney is a keynote speaker and emcee who helps organizations lead through change by building resilience, emotional intelligence, and courageous communication.

How do you perform under pressure without burning out? In this episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, host Anne Bonney sits down with Jay Abbasi (https://jayabbasi.me/) global keynote speaker, TEDx speaker, former Tesla leader, and host of the Unstuck podcast to break down how high performers can navigate stress, uncertainty, and change with resilience and clarity.

Jay draws from his experience leading national training programs at Tesla and coaching leaders at Google, Amazon, and Wells Fargo to explain why burnout isn’t a weakness, how pressure hijacks focus and decision-making, and what actually helps professionals stay grounded, effective, and engaged. This conversation blends leadership development, mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and practical resilience strategies for today’s fast-paced workplace.

Perfect for leaders, high achievers, and teams navigating change, stress, and constant demands.

In This Episode we talk about...

• why burnout hits high performers hardest
• how pressure impacts focus, decision-making, and resilience
• practical strategies to manage stress and uncertainty at work
• purpose-driven leadership and thriving through change

Want more from Jay?  Here are the links!

• https://jayabbasi.me/
• Are you headed for Burnout?  take the quiz.  https://jayabbasi.me/resources/
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/
• https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/
• https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast

Jay Abbasi is a global keynote speaker, TEDx speaker, and former Tesla leader who helps professionals thrive under pressure without burning out. At Tesla, he led national training programs for over 1,000 employees and has since coached leaders at Google, Amazon, and Wells Fargo. Featured in Forbes Founder and Authority Magazine, and host of the top-rated podcast Unstuck, Jay blends corporate experience with expertise in mindfulness, resilience, and purpose-driven leadership.

What if the clarity you’re waiting for doesn’t come before the action—but because of it?

In this solo January wrap-up episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, Anne Bonney connects the dots between this month’s conversations with Linda, Kim, Adam and Sabine and reveals a powerful truth about change, growth, and resilience: clarity comes after you move.

Our brains crave certainty, but real progress happens in motion. Whether you’re trying to build healthier habits, make a change at work, or figure out your next step, confidence and self-trust are built by adjusting on the move...not by waiting until everything feels clear.

This episode is a reminder that the messy middle isn’t failure; it’s navigation. Stop overthinking, start moving, and learn as you go.

Anne Bonney is a Top Impact Speaker of 2026 who helps leaders and teams build resilience, emotional intelligence, and courage in the midst of change.

What happens when you’re eating “healthy,” doing all the right things, and your body still refuses to cooperate?  Or you diet and lose weight...and then find it again?

In this episode of the Dancing in the Discomfort Zone Podcast, Anne sits down with Sabine Richard (revealyourself.info ), who shares her powerful and refreshingly honest story of gaining 42 pounds in her 40s after moving to the U.S. and how years of restrictive dieting, cutting foods, and starting over again and again only made things worse.

Sabine opens up about the uncomfortable (but freeing) mindset shift that finally helped her lose the weight and keep it off for five years without giving up chocolate, cheese, or her sanity. Together, we unpack why what worked in our 20s and 30s often stops working later in life, and how sustainable change requires learning to eat, move, and think differently...especially for women navigating midlife, hormonal changes, and identity shifts.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why isn’t this working anymore?” this conversation is for you. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why restrictive dieting and willpower backfire, and what actually creates long-term weight loss after 40
• The difference between counting calories vs. understanding macronutrients, and why food quality matters more than math
• How committing to discomfort, mindset, and non-negotiables creates freedom...not restriction

If you prefer to watch on YouTube, go here.  https://youtu.be/cIDt3PGnnz8

What happens when a successful, analytical professional looks at his life during COVID and realizes he is not happy, it's not working, and a change HAS to be made?

In this episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, Anne Bonney sits down with Adam Peters (https://mindmaprenovations.com/), neuroscience-based trainer, happiness ambassador, and author of The Blueprint to Happy, to explore how our brains get wired for self-criticism and how we can intentionally rewire them for resilience, clarity, and joy.

Adam shares how a personal reckoning, combined with loss and deep self-reflection, led him to study neuroscience, negativity bias, and subconscious programming. Together, Anne and Adam unpack why the inner critic feels so powerful, where those voices really come from, and how repeated negative thoughts shape our behavior, confidence, and relationships.

This conversation dives into practical tools for noticing emotional triggers, understanding childhood belief wiring, and telling yourself a better story that actually sticks. They also explore why community, connection, and shared language are essential to sustainable happiness.

If you are curious about mindset change, emotional intelligence, and building happiness on purpose, this episode will meet you right where you are.

Want more from Adam?  

• https://linktr.ee/MindMapRenovations
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/adam-peters-happiness-ambassador/
• https://www.instagram.com/mindmaprenovations/
• https://substack.com/@happinessambassador

Adam is a speaker and neuroscience-based trainer who helps teams rewire negativity bias and build cultures where people feel empowered, optimistic, and connected. Through Mind Map Renovations, he brings a warm, practical approach to culture transformation, giving leaders and teams simple tools that spark positive behavior change. His work turns everyday interactions into habits that fuel engagement, resilience, and meaningful results.

What happens when two moms look at textile waste and decide to do something about it?

In this episode of Dancing in the Discomfort Zone, Anne Bonney talks with Kim Lau and Linda Young, co-founders of Project ReWear (https://www.projectrewear.com/)  a mission-driven thrifting and textile-waste initiative based in Thousand Oaks, CA. What starts as lighthearted banter quickly turns into a powerful conversation about reinvention, courage, and building community-centered solutions to a massive global problem.

Kim and Linda share how they’re making “secondhand second nature” through affordable, stylish thrifting, real-time landfill diversion tracking, and innovative programs that prioritize people over profit. This episode is a hopeful, practical look at what’s possible when we’re willing to rethink consumption, take the rocky road, and dance in the discomfort zone—for our communities and the planet.

Some links to go learn more!!  

• https://www.projectrewear.com
• https://www.instagram.com/project.rewear/
•  https://www.instagram.com/kimberlyallisonlau/?hl=en
• https://www.instagram.com/cravebylinny/

Kimberly Lau Bio:
After a two-decade career in finance, Kimberly Lau reinvented herself as the co-founder of Project ReWear—a mission-driven company making sustainable kids’ fashion stylish, affordable, and fun. Fueled by purpose and a desire to create a better future for her two sons, she now spends her days rescuing preloved clothing from landfills and reshaping what conscious consumerism can look like for modern families.

Linda Young Bio:
Linda Young is a retail strategist turned sustainability advocate and co-founder of Project ReWear. Originally from Australia, she brings 20+ years of global brand experience and a lifelong passion for secondhand shopping. Her work blends entrepreneurial creativity with a deep commitment to community, helping parents shop smarter and reduce waste while proving that fashion and impact can go hand in hand.

What if stronger relationships, better leadership, and more success all start with one skill: being brave enough to connect?

In this insightful and energizing episode, success strategist and keynote director Brigham Blackham (https://linktr.ee/brighamblackham )  joins Anne to explore the power of discomfort, curiosity, and communication in building meaningful relationships. From learning Mandarin in Taiwan to coaching high-performance speakers, Brigham shares how stepping into the unfamiliar has shaped his confidence, leadership, and ability to help others communicate with clarity and impact.

Brigham reveals how “story asking”(intentionally drawing out other people’s experiences) creates deeper human connection than any perfectly polished self-introduction. He and Anne dig into the post-pandemic communication slump, the myth of “soft skills,” and why real success is built on conversations, not credentials.

With stories ranging from middle-school theatre to bilingual parenting to a broken car key fiasco, Brigham shows how approaching life with curiosity and flexibility (a.k.a. unclenching!) helps us grow resilience, strengthen relationships, and lead with emotional intelligence.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How discomfort and curiosity strengthen communication and leadership
• The difference between story telling and story asking (and why the latter wins)
• Why soft skills aren’t soft—they’re the foundation of trust and influence
• How confidence is built on competence, preparation, and genuine interest in others
• Practical ways to make networking feel natural, not painful
• How learning new languages teaches adaptability, humility, and EQ
• A simple mindset shift for staying flexible when things don’t go as planned

Why this episode matters:

If you want to lead better, connect faster, or just feel more confident walking into a room full of strangers, this conversation gives you actionable tools rooted in emotional intelligence and real human connection. Whether you’re navigating global business, a family gathering, or a tough conversation at work, Brigham’s insights help you step out of your comfort zone and into more meaningful relationships.

Want more from Brigham?

thefinalpercent.com/brighamblackham
https://linktr.ee/brighamblackham 

Brigham is a value-driven storyteller and success strategist who helps leaders turn their stories into breakthroughs. A former teacher and father of four, he brings humor, heart, and a knack for making connections that stick. With over 100 podcast episodes and five years as an Airbnb Superhost, he understands how small actions drive big results. Brigham helps you craft bold, unforgettable messages that move people and build momentum.

The holidays are here… which means joy, cookies, twinkle lights, and—let’s be honest—a whole lot of humans who can push our buttons. In this solo episode, Anne breaks down a powerful emotional-intelligence concept she calls “freezing people.” It’s the unconscious habit of locking someone into one moment, one mistake, or one harmful comment… and then carrying that version of them forever.

Using real-life stories, a little tough love, and her signature playful honesty, Anne explores how freezing people hurts us more than them, ramps up holiday stress, and blocks us from healthier communication and relationships. She shares a simple mindset shift that helps you see others as full, evolving humans—so you can walk into family gatherings (or LinkedIn encounters!) with more EQ, less dread, and a more grounded sense of self-awareness.

Whether it’s a colleague who once shut you down, a family member who offended you five years ago, or the cousin with that one unfortunate moment—we all freeze people. But we can unfreeze them… and unfreeze ourselves in the process.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why your brain “freezes” people—and how emotional intelligence helps you thaw the story
• How freezing impacts your stress, relationships, and ability to communicate
• A perspective-shift you can use before walking into holiday gatherings
• How to see people through multiple lenses (their child, their partner, their best friend… even their dog!)
• A simple EQ practice to create more ease, compassion, and resilience this season

Perfect for you if…

…you want a calmer holiday, stronger relationships, or a little emotional-intelligence tune-up before Aunt Mildred brings up that thing again.

Take a breath. Unfreeze a story. And dance through these holidays with just a little more grace and a whole lot less dread.