- 51 minutes 24 secondsSuitcase Full of Sex DollI understand that some things need to be handled discretely, but there are also some things that shouldn't be dumped in a lake. Topics include how to safely discard your sex doll, a sisterly interrogation, the price is a lie, mysterious downstairs hand gesture, hand job to bro job.
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7 September 2026, 12:00 pm - 47 minutes 28 secondsScoot Over to My Cream Station
I know we've gotten some complaints about Melvin before, but you really can't deny our chemistry with him. Topics include utilizing the Spider-Man note tactic, Zoloft ultimatum, pick up artists almost discover friendship, covering or embracing your past.
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31 August 2026, 12:00 pm - 52 minutes 40 secondsPuss in Tatters
If anybody needs me, I'll be hanging out with my other God buddies today, so please don't try to reach me via anything other than astral projection. Topics include the WNBA, being groomed by a spiritual man, too tired to text, hard out here for a wannabe pimp, the magic is gone.
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24 August 2026, 5:15 pm - 42 minutes 42 secondsJust Be Normal
It's not hard, guys. Just be normal. Just don't do anything weird. Topics include bringing your own ball, letting people know you're ready to date, break up regret, too intense or just scared of attention.
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17 August 2026, 4:09 pm - 50 minutes 8 secondsSam Raimi's Dating AdviceYou idiots are hitting the gym, developing a personality, and trying new hobbies. I'm getting taken over by an evil alien slime. We are NOT the same. Topics include the reality of symbiote infection, how to stop being so good, lying about how you met, and are they an ex or a friend?
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10 August 2026, 12:00 pm - 50 minutes 11 secondsBung HoI don't think we deserve a lot of credit for the stuff that we say on this show, however, the amount of butt puns accidentally stumble into this week is something we should celebrate. Topics include Spidey SEO, the two attempt rule, disrespectful slow fade, the blood vase, a suspicious medical note.
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3 August 2026, 12:00 pm - 48 minutes 20 secondsHot Flash, Buddy!
We're going to take all of the idioms and make them incorrect and there's nothing you can do about it. Topics include do women care about lots of Instagram followers, checking off the boxes on being dateable, what does spitting on your partner mean, uninteresting and unattractive hobbies.
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27 July 2026, 4:10 pm - 50 minutes 5 secondsSmooch TrainCHOO CHOO! All aboard the smooch train! Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what the Smooch Train is, but I wrote it down in my notebook of episode titles, so... ALL ABOARD! Topics include would you eat your female coworkers spoonful of food, "uncommon" standards, Schrödinger's boyfriend, and what happens on a first date.
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20 July 2026, 12:00 pm - 46 minutes 58 secondsReturn of the Emotional Rollercoaster
The emotional rollercoaster is a real emotional rollercoaster. Topics include John Cena's check in lessons, my boyfriend's AI clone, unrequited crushes, let's just be friends (after sex), first date expectations.
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13 July 2026, 4:15 pm - 49 minutes 27 secondsOur Work is Done
I know it's hard to believe, but prior to this episode... we weren't perfect. But we have shed our flawed mortal forms and stand before as shimmering beams of pure light. Topics include a Minion disclaimer, boobs: what do they mean, doing the work, the futility of being a short king, and a new Hinge feature.
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6 July 2026, 12:00 pm - 49 minutes 52 secondsGreedy PervertIf you don't listen to this episode, I WILL start tweeting like Drake. Topics include AI catfishing, disclosing all your deal breakers, ruining the mood with bodily functions, how to completely misread signals, don't be greedy.
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