It's time to throw the "Let Them" Theory into the trash where it belongs and start taking life, and your relationships, by the reins with a very simple question: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!  Learn how to embrace bravery and become the master of your own destiny by asking: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?

If you're not going to drop at least $1.2 MILLION dollars on me PER DATE, I'm going to doubt your commitment.  Topics include how to hunt down your set up, blowjob pains, a very expensive first date, to use hands or not to use hands. 

This week's episode is a little shorter than usual due to technical difficulties and Dain being bad at math.  Topics include missing the giant hint, getting to the sex phase, deciding to break wind or a promise, and the value of rough oral sex.

It's time once again to beg at the Altar of Beast in order to be thrown just enough scraps to continue our meager existence.  Topics include a beastly missed opportunity, creating a safe sexual environment, budget conscious condoms, the boy ain't alright.

Mess with the bull and you'll get the horns especially if you're a big city woman who's too focused on her career to find love.  Topics include post sex shit-tests, long tongue but bad technique, a shaved butthole, irritated over old nudes.

You know that feeling when you hear a song and then you make that whole song your personality for awhile?  Maybe be a little more discerning with what song you're choosing...

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Better start wearing a raincoat whenever you see me out in public because when I'm holding a hand... NOBODY IS SAFE.  Topics include how to be mysterious in the age of social media, playing dead, a damp pant situation, when to transition to casual dates.

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Don't you hate it when your stupid kid just exists and totally blows up your spot?  Topics include pirate re-population, sex inhibiting breast size, a surprise son, date burn out.

There is nothing sex about a Ziploc bag... UNLESS it's one of those ones with the slidey-closer thing.  Those ones are HOT.  Topics include oral hygiene wake up call, celibate Tinder match, get your ex back with no contact, preparing your sex baggie.

Niall is on vacation this week, so we're digging into the Patreon vaults to treat you to a little movie review of the unhinged teen romance movie My Fault.

There are a few exceptions to the rule and one of them is always if it's A Walk to Remember situation.  Topics include contractually obligated angry sex, impatient partner, never split the party, when do you know.