It doesn't matter what stupid idea your teenage brain comes up with, you can always blame Tiktok.  Topics include breaking beds, size comparisons, being a sleepy guy, and feelin' weird about feet.

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Everyone knows that underwear resets in freshness every day if it's worn inside out.  Topics include the sleepiness men must fight, swinging in a situationship, keeping the drawers fresh, ejaculate volume.

BRING ME MORE (SEXY) PHOTOS OF SPIDER-MAN!  Topics include the sneaking suspicion of dishonesty, the effects of emotions on sexual stamina, making your girlfriend more kinky, and position practice.

Please, for the love of God, if you listen to ANY of our advice: do not put soil inside you.  It's dirt.  It's literal dirt.  Topics include abandonment issues, cuddle boners, focusing on yourself is a lie, holy mole-y.

Before you marry that man you literally just met, please know that you have our full and enthusiastic support to divorce him.

Happy 2026!  Dain promises he won't make any bold statements about this year considering how last year went with... you know.  Everything.  Topics include the guilt of being a sex machine, basic biology, unexpected rimjob, navigating a kinky new partner.

I honestly can't remember what Dragon Pouch means or how we got there and I'm holidays, so you can't make me figure it out.

Studies have been done by all the top science research places: blue balls are an entirely made up thing.  Don't try to argue with us, argue with SCIENCE.  Topics include team building in the worst way possible, deck the halls with balls of blue, breast reduction woes.

Dain's New Year's Resolution is to stop suggesting that performing Mortal Kombat fatalities is a solution to your problems.  Topics include dude, where's my car?  The important of ball play, a pre-exclusivity fling, and bringing a cool vibe to a sex party.

It's time to throw the "Let Them" Theory into the trash where it belongs and start taking life, and your relationships, by the reins with a very simple question: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!  Learn how to embrace bravery and become the master of your own destiny by asking: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?

If you're not going to drop at least $1.2 MILLION dollars on me PER DATE, I'm going to doubt your commitment.  Topics include how to hunt down your set up, blowjob pains, a very expensive first date, to use hands or not to use hands.